Ch.9: Foolish Boy
He was doing it too. I could feel it. I didn't have to touch him or read his mind like he could read mine to know that he was comparing me with my brother. Dare I say I hated him now? My brother willingness to push me towards this – it was so eager. It made me feel like I was an object, a THING, he was glad to get rid of as fast as possible. And even though I knew that wasn't true, that there WAS a time in our sibling relationship that was truly genuine affection, it stabbed me every time I thought of it. If Ernest were here, I would call him a coward. I was his little brother, his WARD, and he was forcing this burden upon me, knowing very well that I would buckle under the pressure someday. Perhaps he was judging on something else, though. Maybe he thought I could end this war?
I would not – could not – ever be happy with any award Zion or G.O.A. could ever give me. Publicity didn't suit me very well.
I guess it could be said that I wished I knew my brother was a deceitful,bility", as Instructor Azuma had said gravely, "that you brother Ernest chose not to learn. He felt it would hurt people if they ever found out they had done something just because he told them to."
Ah, yes. My brother. Always conscientious of whether or not to hurt people. Part of me wanted to say "but he hurt me!" and part of me wanted to shout "it's for your own good!", but neither side ever won. I close my eyes and thought about my brother for a moment. I tried to picture him, and saw his eyes looking back at me, then at Garu with a mixture of heartfelt affection and amusement at Garu's antics as the pilot ranted and raved about absolutely nothing. I tried to picture him, and saw him looking at me, that soft little smile that he reserved for only the people he was ultimately close to, the ones that he would gladly give his life to. I tried to picture him angry and failed miserably. My brother did not get angry. He got annoyed, he got hurt, he got every intense emotion except for that four-letter word that was his opposite: hate.
What made my brother different from me was I could not control my emotions half as well as he did, therefore I couldn't control my powers as well as he did. His anger could be withheld; when my anger exploded, it struck everyone near, and everyone else a mild headache. My brother held his anger until he was out on the battlefield, and then released it there. That was why I could never picture my brother's face ever angry – he saved it to a place where I would never see the horrible, monster side of him.
Rio entered the door to the circular Atrium. I gave a little nod, and he seemed to realize that I had somehow called him here. I hoped he would not be suspicious, but part of me wanted to tell him to run, to hide from what my EX could do to his mind.
"Saa…Erts, why did you call me? I was only through my third plate…", he trailed off miserably and I couldn't help but laugh.
"You should watch your diet, Rio. You can't eat too much, you know. And it's not dinnertime left. You should stabilize your three meals, not your snacks, Rio", I admonished, and heard his thoughts turn to indignation.
"But Erts, I can't help being hungry. I don't know how people can't like the food here. It's excellent! Well, at least it's better than the stuff I had back in my colony." He gave a sheepish wave as he came up the stairs. "Did you want anything?"
I gave a wince. "I don't particularly enjoy the food here, Rio, not half as much as you do." We both chuckled. "It may be nutritious, but I don't think it tastes very good."
He gave a laugh. Full-sounding, like a horn blown to attention, freezing enemies to fear. It was the sound that kept the hope, the one sign that showed we were not afraid. "Erts, I don't mind the taste because I think it tastes good! Compared to what I had back in colony E12, this is both good-tasting and nutritious! I guess I couldn't really ask for more."
I knew a little of Rio's history, from rumors and from himself. He was born on one of the poorest colonies in the history of Zion or the once- empire of humanity that stretched from galaxy to galaxy. His colony decided to have a "pride" and decided to send someone, with the funds of the poor colony behind him, to the training center in space, G.O.A. Rio was chosen because he met the qualifications and had the highest EX of all the candidates on his colony alone. Consequentially, he also had one of the highest potential EX in the history of G.O.A. as well. He succeeded beyond the poor colony's wishes; now they were well-funded by the government on Zion and had more than enough good-tasting food to go around.
When he was three stairs away from me, Instructor Azuma said quickly into my mind, NOW!.
Rio stopped, frozen, as my mind seized control of his senses. I closed my eyes and tried to move his arm, then opened them to see Rio's arm move at MY will. I was Rio, in his mind, and I could now do as I wanted. I was here for a purpose, now, but as I sat Rio down on the step he was on, I couldn't help but regret I had to do this –
– Instructor Azuma's voice cut through my thoughts, You say you have a purpose. You cannot take over his mind forever, Erts! You must perform the test now!.
My task at hand was not easy. In fact, it had not been done by any other person other than Instructor Azuma himself. How he came to learn it, I would never know and I had no interest in knowing. If he developed it himself, I would not care. I was to go into the mind of Rio and use his EX.
If my intuition about Rio's EX was correct, he would be a valuable asset – he could predict the future before it even happened. He could change the course of the future. Rio would, today, attempt to tell me what he was Seeing, even though his powers as precog had not been fully developed or even known except to myself and Instructor Azuma. I hoped it would be something useful, but this WAS Rio's first actual Seeing, so I couldn't be sure of any results. I couldn't afford to get my hopes up, this much I knew. But somehow, couldn't I just somehow see something that would mean something to me?
EX was not a good lesson to start with, this much had been made apparent by Instructor Azuma. I should have started with reading minds indirectly, through another person, or trying to teleport into different places. However, I chose this because I would need it, and need it fast. He complied, surprisingly, and told me something – Rio's mind was not strong. Using his EX too often could mean that he could be out of commission as a pilot, which meant that he would be sent away from G.O.A. I could not let that happen, and neither could Instructor Azuma – it would be like losing Ernest, a person I trusted, again, and it might possibly send me over the edge.
"I see Ernest", said Rio softly. "I see him with Garu, walking with their hands around each other, talking. They are in a beautiful setting. It looks like Zion, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels deeper, stronger, as if the earth has bonded with them fully and is almost another sentinent being, talking to them as well. All three converse in peaceful harmony." Surprised, I did not question Rio. This might be a past dream or a dream of someone's, and not a vision. Precogs could pick up strange images, especially during sleep.
"Ernest has wings."
I closed my eyes and tried to picture that. I could not think of anyone who deserved wings more than my brother did. He was an angel through and through. However, I could not think how this would help me in the cockpit of the Reneighd Klein or any other place, so I moved on.
"I see Erts angry and killing me."
At once, my concentration broke completely. Almost immediately I could feel my hold on him and myself slip, and panic override every command Instructor Azuma tried to give me. I blocked everything out except myself, and felt myself crumple to the floor. Was it possible? Would I be the one to kill Rio? How would that happen, and why would it happen? It didn't make sense, nothing did. Why was I doing this, I wanted to ask myself and the world and everything in it. Why was this task given to me? Was I the one destined to save Zion, destroy Victim, despite all misgivings that came my way? WHY WAS THIS TASK GIVEN TO ME?
"I see Erts' face more angry than ever before…", Rio trailed off abruptly as he regained his full senses. I barely heard him as he said, "Erts? What am I doing here? I thought I was in the cafeteria…? Erts, are you alright?" His hands tried to shake me conscious, I could feel my body rock back and forth as he tried to snap me out of my trance. But I couldn't. I was trapped, trapped like a fly in a spiderweb, and there was no way out of it. This was my job, that much I knew, but what was my own PERSONAL price to pay for it? DID THE WORLD NOT CARE ON HOW THE HERO FARED?
With a scream, I shot out of his arms and tripped my way down the stairs and to my quarters. Rio stared after me for a moment, but I did not hear his words, just felt his emotions: have I lost my little brother already?
But I didn't care. I kept running, slamming into people and walls and things and objects of various shapes and sizes, but I didn't – couldn't – stop running. I could scream and tear my hair out, but I couldn't get out of it.
Vaguely I recalled the saying "With great power comes great responsibility" before I passed out on my bed.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
And...cut. Sorry, that last quote was from watching too much 'Spiderman', if you
know what I'm talking about. Just watched it in the last few hours with a few friends of
mine, so naturally the quote stuck around for a while. Don't worry, a bit has to happen
before the last momentous ending comes and "Shiva" truly comes down to avenge.
Andrea Weiling
He was doing it too. I could feel it. I didn't have to touch him or read his mind like he could read mine to know that he was comparing me with my brother. Dare I say I hated him now? My brother willingness to push me towards this – it was so eager. It made me feel like I was an object, a THING, he was glad to get rid of as fast as possible. And even though I knew that wasn't true, that there WAS a time in our sibling relationship that was truly genuine affection, it stabbed me every time I thought of it. If Ernest were here, I would call him a coward. I was his little brother, his WARD, and he was forcing this burden upon me, knowing very well that I would buckle under the pressure someday. Perhaps he was judging on something else, though. Maybe he thought I could end this war?
I would not – could not – ever be happy with any award Zion or G.O.A. could ever give me. Publicity didn't suit me very well.
I guess it could be said that I wished I knew my brother was a deceitful,bility", as Instructor Azuma had said gravely, "that you brother Ernest chose not to learn. He felt it would hurt people if they ever found out they had done something just because he told them to."
Ah, yes. My brother. Always conscientious of whether or not to hurt people. Part of me wanted to say "but he hurt me!" and part of me wanted to shout "it's for your own good!", but neither side ever won. I close my eyes and thought about my brother for a moment. I tried to picture him, and saw his eyes looking back at me, then at Garu with a mixture of heartfelt affection and amusement at Garu's antics as the pilot ranted and raved about absolutely nothing. I tried to picture him, and saw him looking at me, that soft little smile that he reserved for only the people he was ultimately close to, the ones that he would gladly give his life to. I tried to picture him angry and failed miserably. My brother did not get angry. He got annoyed, he got hurt, he got every intense emotion except for that four-letter word that was his opposite: hate.
What made my brother different from me was I could not control my emotions half as well as he did, therefore I couldn't control my powers as well as he did. His anger could be withheld; when my anger exploded, it struck everyone near, and everyone else a mild headache. My brother held his anger until he was out on the battlefield, and then released it there. That was why I could never picture my brother's face ever angry – he saved it to a place where I would never see the horrible, monster side of him.
Rio entered the door to the circular Atrium. I gave a little nod, and he seemed to realize that I had somehow called him here. I hoped he would not be suspicious, but part of me wanted to tell him to run, to hide from what my EX could do to his mind.
"Saa…Erts, why did you call me? I was only through my third plate…", he trailed off miserably and I couldn't help but laugh.
"You should watch your diet, Rio. You can't eat too much, you know. And it's not dinnertime left. You should stabilize your three meals, not your snacks, Rio", I admonished, and heard his thoughts turn to indignation.
"But Erts, I can't help being hungry. I don't know how people can't like the food here. It's excellent! Well, at least it's better than the stuff I had back in my colony." He gave a sheepish wave as he came up the stairs. "Did you want anything?"
I gave a wince. "I don't particularly enjoy the food here, Rio, not half as much as you do." We both chuckled. "It may be nutritious, but I don't think it tastes very good."
He gave a laugh. Full-sounding, like a horn blown to attention, freezing enemies to fear. It was the sound that kept the hope, the one sign that showed we were not afraid. "Erts, I don't mind the taste because I think it tastes good! Compared to what I had back in colony E12, this is both good-tasting and nutritious! I guess I couldn't really ask for more."
I knew a little of Rio's history, from rumors and from himself. He was born on one of the poorest colonies in the history of Zion or the once- empire of humanity that stretched from galaxy to galaxy. His colony decided to have a "pride" and decided to send someone, with the funds of the poor colony behind him, to the training center in space, G.O.A. Rio was chosen because he met the qualifications and had the highest EX of all the candidates on his colony alone. Consequentially, he also had one of the highest potential EX in the history of G.O.A. as well. He succeeded beyond the poor colony's wishes; now they were well-funded by the government on Zion and had more than enough good-tasting food to go around.
When he was three stairs away from me, Instructor Azuma said quickly into my mind, NOW!.
Rio stopped, frozen, as my mind seized control of his senses. I closed my eyes and tried to move his arm, then opened them to see Rio's arm move at MY will. I was Rio, in his mind, and I could now do as I wanted. I was here for a purpose, now, but as I sat Rio down on the step he was on, I couldn't help but regret I had to do this –
– Instructor Azuma's voice cut through my thoughts, You say you have a purpose. You cannot take over his mind forever, Erts! You must perform the test now!.
My task at hand was not easy. In fact, it had not been done by any other person other than Instructor Azuma himself. How he came to learn it, I would never know and I had no interest in knowing. If he developed it himself, I would not care. I was to go into the mind of Rio and use his EX.
If my intuition about Rio's EX was correct, he would be a valuable asset – he could predict the future before it even happened. He could change the course of the future. Rio would, today, attempt to tell me what he was Seeing, even though his powers as precog had not been fully developed or even known except to myself and Instructor Azuma. I hoped it would be something useful, but this WAS Rio's first actual Seeing, so I couldn't be sure of any results. I couldn't afford to get my hopes up, this much I knew. But somehow, couldn't I just somehow see something that would mean something to me?
EX was not a good lesson to start with, this much had been made apparent by Instructor Azuma. I should have started with reading minds indirectly, through another person, or trying to teleport into different places. However, I chose this because I would need it, and need it fast. He complied, surprisingly, and told me something – Rio's mind was not strong. Using his EX too often could mean that he could be out of commission as a pilot, which meant that he would be sent away from G.O.A. I could not let that happen, and neither could Instructor Azuma – it would be like losing Ernest, a person I trusted, again, and it might possibly send me over the edge.
"I see Ernest", said Rio softly. "I see him with Garu, walking with their hands around each other, talking. They are in a beautiful setting. It looks like Zion, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels deeper, stronger, as if the earth has bonded with them fully and is almost another sentinent being, talking to them as well. All three converse in peaceful harmony." Surprised, I did not question Rio. This might be a past dream or a dream of someone's, and not a vision. Precogs could pick up strange images, especially during sleep.
"Ernest has wings."
I closed my eyes and tried to picture that. I could not think of anyone who deserved wings more than my brother did. He was an angel through and through. However, I could not think how this would help me in the cockpit of the Reneighd Klein or any other place, so I moved on.
"I see Erts angry and killing me."
At once, my concentration broke completely. Almost immediately I could feel my hold on him and myself slip, and panic override every command Instructor Azuma tried to give me. I blocked everything out except myself, and felt myself crumple to the floor. Was it possible? Would I be the one to kill Rio? How would that happen, and why would it happen? It didn't make sense, nothing did. Why was I doing this, I wanted to ask myself and the world and everything in it. Why was this task given to me? Was I the one destined to save Zion, destroy Victim, despite all misgivings that came my way? WHY WAS THIS TASK GIVEN TO ME?
"I see Erts' face more angry than ever before…", Rio trailed off abruptly as he regained his full senses. I barely heard him as he said, "Erts? What am I doing here? I thought I was in the cafeteria…? Erts, are you alright?" His hands tried to shake me conscious, I could feel my body rock back and forth as he tried to snap me out of my trance. But I couldn't. I was trapped, trapped like a fly in a spiderweb, and there was no way out of it. This was my job, that much I knew, but what was my own PERSONAL price to pay for it? DID THE WORLD NOT CARE ON HOW THE HERO FARED?
With a scream, I shot out of his arms and tripped my way down the stairs and to my quarters. Rio stared after me for a moment, but I did not hear his words, just felt his emotions: have I lost my little brother already?
But I didn't care. I kept running, slamming into people and walls and things and objects of various shapes and sizes, but I didn't – couldn't – stop running. I could scream and tear my hair out, but I couldn't get out of it.
Vaguely I recalled the saying "With great power comes great responsibility" before I passed out on my bed.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
And...cut. Sorry, that last quote was from watching too much 'Spiderman', if you
know what I'm talking about. Just watched it in the last few hours with a few friends of
mine, so naturally the quote stuck around for a while. Don't worry, a bit has to happen
before the last momentous ending comes and "Shiva" truly comes down to avenge.
Andrea Weiling