Sooooo…Come crawling back for more huh? *The only person who might take the time to read this starts to hit the "back" button* NO! NO! Wait I didn't mean it! I even funnied this chapter up a bit! You are here anyway why not just keep reading? Good! Enjoy the fic! *under breath* heh..heh…suckers…heh…heh……

Dilandau Passes a Kidney Stone!

Folken took a step closer to Dilandau's door, knocked, and called "Are you having a problem Dilandau?" "No" Dilandau squeaked before clearing his throat and issuing a more stable "No". "Good" Folken said as he stifled his laughter "By the way, I want you to come to me and give me your report for this week in an hour" "Yes commander" Dilandau choked out before another wave of pain took him. Folken, remembering that both of the Vione's physicians had suffered severe burns earlier, headed towards the infirmary to find out exactly what was wrong with Dilandau so that he could take full advantage of it later.

"Great, just great" Dilandau thought as he stiffly got up. It was time to go and give the Dragon Slayers their orders for the day. Dilandau carefully made his way to the their station, sighed and walked in. The Dragon Slayers immediately rose and saluted their beloved leader as he entered the room. "We are doing things differently today" Dilandau stated careful not to let his pain show "Chesta, you are in charge of training today" and before the shocked Dragon Slayer could say a word Dilandau cut him off "That is all" he said as he turned and left the room.

"What was that all about?" Gatti asked Chesta who was still in shock "Well…I guess we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth" Miguel said "Sooooo…" Guimel said as he patted Chesta on the back "What are our orders, leader?" Chesta snapping out of his state of shock yelled "FREE DAY!!" The other Dragon Slayers cheered "As long as you don't let Dilandau see you" Chesta added as an afterthought. "I am going to do my hair!" Miguel said as he looked in a mirror, "I am going to find a way to make people remember my face AND name!" Viole exclaimed (You know, he is the one with the purple hair) "I am going to count my sheep!" Guimel announced happily. The other Dragon Slayers made equally moronic and disturbing statements as they walked off quite pleased with themselves.

Having taken care of his Dragon Slayers for the day, Dilandau continued on his way to Folken's chamber. He stepped up to the large doors and knocked saying "It's me" "Enter" Folken answered. As Dilandau stepped into the room he looked around, noticed the chair that was to be for him, and immediately new that he was being mocked. Folken watched as Dilandau's eyes stopped on the chair that Folken had chosen for the occasion. He chuckled to himself for it happened to be the most uncomfortable chair on the Vione. Dilandau scowled at Folken as he went to the chair and sat down, slowly and carefully of course.

"So how have things been sitting with you Dilandau?" Folken asked making sure to keep his face emotionless "I am sure that you know" Dilandau snapped, He knew that Folken had this all planned out and that to try and hide the truth would be pointless. "Oh?" Folken said as he crossed his legs. Dilandau glared at him for this was a feat that he had been unable to perform for several days now. "Well, start your report" Folken said and Dilandau launched into his report, grateful to have something to take his mind off of his predicament. Folken, although he still kept his characteristic straight face, was laughing on the inside as he watched Dilandau squirm in his seat and gasp every so often. "And that is…" Dilandau stopped to grind his teeth for a moment "…My report, sir" he finished.

"Very well" Folken said dismissing Dilandau who got up to leave "Oh, and Dilandau" Folken said as Dilandau began to open the door "I know that things must be hard for you, but don't worry…it will pass" Dilandau turned back to look at Folken blind with rage and pain, but if he hadn't been he would have seen Folken's eyebrows rise a centimeter and the slightest smile play at the corners of his lips (This would have been the most emotion that Dilandau had ever seen on Folken's face). But Dilandau, too angry and embarrassed to speak just turned and left the room. Folken, once he was sure that Dilandau was gone did the unspeakable…He laughed out loud.

"How DARE he!" Dilandau said aloud as he made his way towards the medical bay. He was so angry that he didn't see Chesta walking towards him. "Oh! Sir! I was just passing through on my way to…." Chesta began "And just what in the hell is THAT supposed to mean!?" Dilandau screamed at the Dragon Slayer who cringed "I…I was only…" Chesta started but Dilandau who had started to feel a spasm of pain turned and walked away before Chesta could finish explaining (He must have really been hurting because he didn't slap Chesta!)

'The new physician will know what to do…He had better!' Dilandau thought as he stalked towards the infirmary. He once again entered one of the exam rooms in the back. After a short wait the new physician walked in. Dilandau was shocked and embarrassed to see that the new physician was female. 'How could this happen?' he thought, speaking about his problem was hard enough when the physician was a male. "Whoever did this is going to pay' he thought angrily before realizing that Folken had been the one to request the new medical officer. 'Damn him' He thought as a knot that had formed n his stomach upon seeing the new physician added to his discomfort.

The physician looked him up and down, "How has the pain been?" she asked in a cheerful voice. "Excruciating" Dilandau replied sarcastically but in the same cheery tone of voice. "Well that won't do" she said thoughtfully as though she hadn't noticed Dilandau's sarcasm. "Well, there is one thing that we can try" she said finally "What?, anything to be rid of this agony!" Dilandau said eagerly. "Well, we can use this tool…" she said as she pulled out what looked like a long metal tube with a bulb on the end "…to extract the stone from you" she finished

This sounded like a good idea to Dilandau, that is until the truth as to where that tube would have to be inserted to get to the stone hit him. Dilandau paled noticeably (which would have to be a heck of a lot for you to notice!) "Y…You would have to stick that thing into me?" Dilandau asked fearfully "Yes, and I won't lie to you" she said as she looked at the tube "It would be extremely painful, but…" She looked up to see that Dilandau had already left the room.

I hope that you have enjoyed this installment of DPAKS. Next time!: Will Dilandau undergo the painful procedure? Or will he wait and pass the stone himself? Find out next time on DPAKS. (Do I write like a TV. show announcer or what?) Until next time!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne…You should know that for if I did own Esca there would be no Van Fanal and Dilly-Sama would be king!