Entry #5
I finally got up my nerve and visited Cindy's grave yesterday. There was no overwhelming peace and solemnity about it like you read in those books. It was just me standing six feet over what's left of her. Although this time I knew it wasn't my fault. Not because of my work, not because of my other friends, just because. I don't know why it's taken me so long to accept this, I've read about this sort of sedentary guilt complex in basically every psyche course I've taken. I've even helped two-thirds of the Jarrett family deal with theirs.
Patients come and go, now. I'm not sure, I think this whole psychiatry thing is becoming too much of a fad, now, and the people with real problems are afraid to come. Maybe the coffee's scaring them away. Either way, it'd be nice for me to make a real difference in someone's life again, like Conrad, especially since I'm coming to terms with my own life. I don't think I'll ever forget Conrad's goodbyes, though. He invited me to visit him any time, and revised my rating to a 9. I think that raises me to about 7.6 all-time. He left in a hurry, though. I didn't get to ask him what the matter was. But I think I know anyway. I at least have an idea. He'll be fine.
Tonight, Nancy and I are going out for dinner. I've already seen her three times at the ski resort, and this is going to be our first official "date." It only took me 'till August to arrange it. So far, she's the only woman I've know who's not offended by my hair. Although in the middle of the summer, I don't think I can blame the static from my winter cap. I could blame the coffee, and I might even be telling the truth. If it turns into an issue, I guess I could grease it back. Hey, I'm starting to think outside of the box! There's hope for me yet.
I finally got up my nerve and visited Cindy's grave yesterday. There was no overwhelming peace and solemnity about it like you read in those books. It was just me standing six feet over what's left of her. Although this time I knew it wasn't my fault. Not because of my work, not because of my other friends, just because. I don't know why it's taken me so long to accept this, I've read about this sort of sedentary guilt complex in basically every psyche course I've taken. I've even helped two-thirds of the Jarrett family deal with theirs.
Patients come and go, now. I'm not sure, I think this whole psychiatry thing is becoming too much of a fad, now, and the people with real problems are afraid to come. Maybe the coffee's scaring them away. Either way, it'd be nice for me to make a real difference in someone's life again, like Conrad, especially since I'm coming to terms with my own life. I don't think I'll ever forget Conrad's goodbyes, though. He invited me to visit him any time, and revised my rating to a 9. I think that raises me to about 7.6 all-time. He left in a hurry, though. I didn't get to ask him what the matter was. But I think I know anyway. I at least have an idea. He'll be fine.
Tonight, Nancy and I are going out for dinner. I've already seen her three times at the ski resort, and this is going to be our first official "date." It only took me 'till August to arrange it. So far, she's the only woman I've know who's not offended by my hair. Although in the middle of the summer, I don't think I can blame the static from my winter cap. I could blame the coffee, and I might even be telling the truth. If it turns into an issue, I guess I could grease it back. Hey, I'm starting to think outside of the box! There's hope for me yet.