Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, these are Tolkien's, and this ain't
my song, good thing too, it belongs to the great Slim Shady…
NO FLAMES!! There are many insults to characters of middle-earth, but it's all in good humor…If you knew what that meant, you wouldn't flame. Anybody who does, you're all just a buncha stiff, boring idiots, who have a chronic psychopathic obsession with Lord of the Rings…
No offense to Em fans, either. NO FLAMES saying how I am defacing his great works, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada…
Okay, so I decided to write sum other stuff before I getting bak 2 attack of the apples…This is just the start of my parodies, I got a whole buncha these in the demented head of mine, read and REVIEW, please tell me if I should continue to write these thingies, and if I should start Frodo's Rap Album…There will prob be songs from Ja-Rule, Nelly, Jay-Z, Lil' Bow Wow, etc. ONTO the first rap parody written by meeeee…By my fave rap artist…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Real Slim Sauron: Without Me
[Gollum]
Gollum, Smeagol, real nice, no precioussss…
[Slim Sauron]
Two Rivendell elves go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside
Two Rivendell elves go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside
[Legolas' voice]
"OoOoOoHhHh!"
[Slim Sauron]
Guess who's back, back again
Sauron's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back……
[Verse 1]
I've created a ringwraith
Cuz nobody wants any goodness no more
They want Sauron
I've chopped Legolas
Well if you want Sauron, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some pints that'll knock the hobbits out quicker
They'll get a shock when they get shocked at the shire
By Saruman when they're not cooperating
When they're saving the world while I'm still corrupting
"Hey!"
I've waited this long to stop the conspiring
Cuz I'm back, I'm on my throne and enslaving
I know you are the queen Galadriel
But your husband's ego is horrible
So the FOTR won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to burn my ring in Mount Doom's crack-y
But it feels so empty without me
So come on trip, swords on your hips
Jump back, jiggle your feet and wiggle a bit
And get ready cuz this is about to get deadly
I just settled down in Mordor, "Die damn hobbits!"
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So ringwraiths, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So Saruman, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
[Verse 2]
Little hellions, dwarves feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed their beards got braids like dreadlocks
They start feelin' like mining is useless
'Til humans come along on a pony and yells
"Work!"
An Istari, Istari ain't scary, can't start no revolution
Pollutin' the air with some pipe weed
So just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got orcs kissin my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back(*Batman theme*)
Fix your bent sword
Sheath it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of Lothlorien like a splinter
The center of attention, back since the winter
I'm frickin' evil, the best thing since the devil
Enslaving all of Mirkwood and raving
Testing "Corruption please"
Feel the tension soon as some elf mentions me
Here's my Uruk-Hai, my Lurtz is free
A nuisance
I sent, you ran from me……
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So Uruk-Hai just follow me
Cuz Middle-Earth needs a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So Ugluk, just follow me
Cuz we need a little slavery
Cuz the elves feel happy without me
[Verse 3]
A Fili A Kili
I kill them hobbits with Gorbag who's slayin' this and that shit
Frodo Baggins, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little fellowship bastards
And Merry, you can get stomped by Rosie
You 46 year old curly headed bag, go flee
You can't stop me, you're too slow
Let it go, it's over, nobody follows the Grey Fool
Now Lotho, your face fulla pimples
Locked in Lockholes, gave new meanin to roadkill
I'm on dope, suspenseful with Eowyn
Ever since Arwen turned herself into a mortal
But sometimes man, it just seems
Every creature only wants to dis-cuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gusting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
Yes, I am the first king of controversy
There's no worse thing 'cept kid wizard Harry
To claim Middle-Earth so selfishly
And abuse hobbits so stealthily
"Hey" Here's a concept that works
Twenty million other evil-doers emerge
But no matter how many demons on the scene
It will be so empty without me
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So Isildur, just follow me
Cuz we need a little slavery
Cuz it feels so empty with hobbits free
I said this looks like a job for me
So MIDDLE-EARTH, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
[I slaughter hobbits, dwarves, elves, and humans, with Uruk-Hai]
[I corrupt younguns, with rings of malice, evil, and mischief]
"Hobbits!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ok ok…After about 2 ½ days of work went into this, using many resources, such as www.azlyrics.com, and www.theonering.net, and also the not so useful Esteladuial. I was on the phone with her and she provided strange answers, such as "Bob" and "Tweak" and "Crack." All of which were not used in the production of my parody.
Please NO FLAMES!! I know that syllabically, sum of it is kinda weird and messed up, but you know rap, you can fit as many syllables in a line as you want. Terribly sorry all creatures of Middle-Earth that I have insulted so…It had to be done…( ( ( ( Poor hobbits…NO FLAMES SAYING THAT SUM STUFF IS INACCURATE EITHER!!! BLAME IT ON THE WEBSITES MENTIONED ABOVE!!!!! Hahahahaha, hope u enjoyed that and look forward to many more little ditties like that in the near future.
NO FLAMES!! There are many insults to characters of middle-earth, but it's all in good humor…If you knew what that meant, you wouldn't flame. Anybody who does, you're all just a buncha stiff, boring idiots, who have a chronic psychopathic obsession with Lord of the Rings…
No offense to Em fans, either. NO FLAMES saying how I am defacing his great works, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada…
Okay, so I decided to write sum other stuff before I getting bak 2 attack of the apples…This is just the start of my parodies, I got a whole buncha these in the demented head of mine, read and REVIEW, please tell me if I should continue to write these thingies, and if I should start Frodo's Rap Album…There will prob be songs from Ja-Rule, Nelly, Jay-Z, Lil' Bow Wow, etc. ONTO the first rap parody written by meeeee…By my fave rap artist…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Real Slim Sauron: Without Me
[Gollum]
Gollum, Smeagol, real nice, no precioussss…
[Slim Sauron]
Two Rivendell elves go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside
Two Rivendell elves go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside
[Legolas' voice]
"OoOoOoHhHh!"
[Slim Sauron]
Guess who's back, back again
Sauron's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back……
[Verse 1]
I've created a ringwraith
Cuz nobody wants any goodness no more
They want Sauron
I've chopped Legolas
Well if you want Sauron, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some pints that'll knock the hobbits out quicker
They'll get a shock when they get shocked at the shire
By Saruman when they're not cooperating
When they're saving the world while I'm still corrupting
"Hey!"
I've waited this long to stop the conspiring
Cuz I'm back, I'm on my throne and enslaving
I know you are the queen Galadriel
But your husband's ego is horrible
So the FOTR won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to burn my ring in Mount Doom's crack-y
But it feels so empty without me
So come on trip, swords on your hips
Jump back, jiggle your feet and wiggle a bit
And get ready cuz this is about to get deadly
I just settled down in Mordor, "Die damn hobbits!"
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So ringwraiths, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So Saruman, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
[Verse 2]
Little hellions, dwarves feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed their beards got braids like dreadlocks
They start feelin' like mining is useless
'Til humans come along on a pony and yells
"Work!"
An Istari, Istari ain't scary, can't start no revolution
Pollutin' the air with some pipe weed
So just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got orcs kissin my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back(*Batman theme*)
Fix your bent sword
Sheath it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of Lothlorien like a splinter
The center of attention, back since the winter
I'm frickin' evil, the best thing since the devil
Enslaving all of Mirkwood and raving
Testing "Corruption please"
Feel the tension soon as some elf mentions me
Here's my Uruk-Hai, my Lurtz is free
A nuisance
I sent, you ran from me……
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So Uruk-Hai just follow me
Cuz Middle-Earth needs a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So Ugluk, just follow me
Cuz we need a little slavery
Cuz the elves feel happy without me
[Verse 3]
A Fili A Kili
I kill them hobbits with Gorbag who's slayin' this and that shit
Frodo Baggins, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little fellowship bastards
And Merry, you can get stomped by Rosie
You 46 year old curly headed bag, go flee
You can't stop me, you're too slow
Let it go, it's over, nobody follows the Grey Fool
Now Lotho, your face fulla pimples
Locked in Lockholes, gave new meanin to roadkill
I'm on dope, suspenseful with Eowyn
Ever since Arwen turned herself into a mortal
But sometimes man, it just seems
Every creature only wants to dis-cuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gusting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
Yes, I am the first king of controversy
There's no worse thing 'cept kid wizard Harry
To claim Middle-Earth so selfishly
And abuse hobbits so stealthily
"Hey" Here's a concept that works
Twenty million other evil-doers emerge
But no matter how many demons on the scene
It will be so empty without me
[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So Isildur, just follow me
Cuz we need a little slavery
Cuz it feels so empty with hobbits free
I said this looks like a job for me
So MIDDLE-EARTH, just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me
[I slaughter hobbits, dwarves, elves, and humans, with Uruk-Hai]
[I corrupt younguns, with rings of malice, evil, and mischief]
"Hobbits!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ok ok…After about 2 ½ days of work went into this, using many resources, such as www.azlyrics.com, and www.theonering.net, and also the not so useful Esteladuial. I was on the phone with her and she provided strange answers, such as "Bob" and "Tweak" and "Crack." All of which were not used in the production of my parody.
Please NO FLAMES!! I know that syllabically, sum of it is kinda weird and messed up, but you know rap, you can fit as many syllables in a line as you want. Terribly sorry all creatures of Middle-Earth that I have insulted so…It had to be done…( ( ( ( Poor hobbits…NO FLAMES SAYING THAT SUM STUFF IS INACCURATE EITHER!!! BLAME IT ON THE WEBSITES MENTIONED ABOVE!!!!! Hahahahaha, hope u enjoyed that and look forward to many more little ditties like that in the near future.