Yellowstone
By Skye Rocket
Disclaimer: The owned are: Jane, Allen, Trevor, Kelsey, Mom and Dad. Unowned are (I know you really don't believe that I own these people anyway): Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey. But I bet you didn't know I owned Matthew Perry, didja? Hahahaha. Ahem. Sorry. *bows* Thank you.
A/N: Hurrah! My headache has fled, for the most part. Yay for me. Anywho...
Thanks for the reviews!
*-*-*-*Day Five*-*-*-*
I awoke with a start as someone leapt onto the bed and pulled my hair.
"What in the-," I began, but I saw Trevor and Allen jumping on the bed.
"Guys!" Kelsey moaned sleepily, her ace buried in the pillow. "Stop it!"
"You guys overslept!" Trevor cried. "And remember what today is?" Kelsey and I glanced at each other and a flicker of realization filled the room.
"Rafting day!!!" the four of us shrieked. I smiled my biggest grin and leapt up. I flung open the drawer and pulled out my fading jeans, a blue t-shirt and a hooded sweatshirt. I also pulled out my bathing suit and flopped it onto the floor.
I quickly changed while Kelsey went to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth. Allen and Trev were already dressed in their trunks and t-shirts. I ran out and took the vitamin for that day. Mom and Dad were over quietly talking to Joey and Ross.
"Well, yeah, they said they always have spots open," Dad said. "They don't get as much business as the others." I knew what was happening right then. Dad was inviting all of them to come with us.
*-*-*-*-*
Kelsey, Allen, Trevor and I sat, crammed into Monica and Chandler's car. I suspected that Trevor and Allen made them sort of nervous.
"So, kids," Chandler began. "You ever done anything like this before?"
"No," we all said lazily.
"You nervous?" he asked, but his voice sounded more than a little shaky. Monica must have seen it too.
"Aww, Chandler, don't be nervous," she said softly, and kissed his cheek.
"Monica! Watch the road!" Trevor shouted. Monica grabbed the steering wheel and swerved to avoid a group of bikers.
"My god!" Kelsey said.
"I have seen death, and laughed at it!" Allen said loudly. Monica grumbled and looked back to the road. I shrugged and pulled out the deck of cards.
"Anybody up?" I asked, holding up a bag of chocolate kisses.
"I'm in!" the three of my companions cried.
----*----
"You nervous?" Ross asked me as we got onto the bus to go to the river.
"Nah, no way," I said. But now, I felt a little shivery. I adjusted my helmet and settled in next to Kelsey. I turned to her.
"So..."
"Yeppers," I replied.
"Do ya believe in UFOs?" she asked suddenly.
"Nope. But I do believe in aliens. I don't think they'd leave their home planet though. But how come if they're looking for intelligent life, they always find the dumbest people?"
"Bad luck," Phoebe said in the seat in front of us.
"Of course!" I said with a laugh.
"Do you believe in UFOs, Phoebe?" I asked.
"Sure!" she said enthusiastically. "I think I saw one once, when I was about 13 and I was living on the streets."
"Cool! I think saw one at my cousins," I agreed. "Maybe some crop circles too."
"What about the Loch Ness Monster?" Ross asked. "It's pretty close to a dinosaur," he added in dreamily.
"Sure do!" Kelsey said happily. "Why shouldn't it be real?"
"How about brain transplants?" Joey asked. "Do you see that in the near future?"
"Yeah!" Allen was shouting. "You could put a chicken brain in a human and make a chicken man."
"Wow!" Trevor said. "Or rhinoceros man!"
"Hey, do you guys believe in Bigfoot?" Ross asked.
"Heck yeah!" I said. "I saw one on the train, remember, Allen?"
"Yes! That was pretty cool," he said, eyes shining. I hung my arm out of the window.
"Jane, be careful," Trevor said. "A bear might see your hand there, hangin' out the window and might BITE IT OFF!"
"Hey, Jane, remember when we went to Georgia and you stuck your hand out the bus window and the driver got mad and yelled 'Get your hand in the bus!!!'?" Allen said, laughing. I blushed.
"That was humiliating!" I cried. "OK, I'm taking a survey."
"Alright," Rachel said.
"OK, bacon bits or croutons?"
"Croutons," Rachel said surely.
"Do you like Macadamia nuts or peanuts?"
"Peanuts," she said, but she and Ross glanced at each other at the mention of Macadamia nuts.
"Thick, bushy eyebrows: creepy or the next big thing?"
"Creepy!" she said with a giggle.
"All right, that's all. Very interesting," I said. "So, where are you guys from?"
"New York," Joey said happily. "It's the best."
"All of us are from Kansas," Kelsey said. "It's the worst," she added with sigh.
"Well, we do have the creek," I said. "And Dairy Queen." I took a brief minute to fondly remember the days after dances and such where a large percent of the student body of our school went to wind down. Or maybe wind up?
"Anyways!" Allen yelped. "So, do you guys believe in government conspiracies?"
"Yeah! Maybe our tax money goes to creating a secret robot force to wipe out other countries' armies!" Phoebe yelped.
"Don't steal, the Government hates competition," I said, remembering a bumper sticker I had seen on a car at one time. "What about animals becoming possessed?"
"One time I saw a cat with red eyes," Joey said with a shiver. "Looked right through ya..." We spent the whole rest of the ride talking about the paranormal side to life and doing little surveys.
***
"Kelsey!" I said. "Look at our guide." She gave me a mega-watt smile.
"You like him..." she said in a singsong way.
"Well, maybe I do," I said, sitting in the boat. Monica and Chandler joined us soon in the boat and we pushed off the edge and began our way down the river.
"Hi guys," the guide said. "My name's Jason."
"Hey," Kelsey and I said together.
"Are they your daughters?" Jason asked Chandler.
"Nope, nope. We're staying in the same cabin as them and we all got to be friends and decided to come together," Chandler explained. I quickly leaned over to Kelsey.
"We're friends? I thought he HATED us!" I hissed. She bobbed her head furiously.
"I know!" she said cheerily. We returned to our seats and started paddling.
"You know, you can get out if you want," Jason said.
"Chandler, do you want to?" Kelsey asked. Chandler furiously shook his head.
"Come on, Kelsey," I said, and we jumped out. The water was deep and freezing.
"Oh my god!" I heard Kelsey yell from the other side of the raft. Trevor and Allen had also gotten out of the raft and were yelling at the top of their lungs. Ross and Rachel were laughing at them as they looked of the side of the raft at the struggling boys.
Meanwhile, Joey and Phoebe had jumped out and were laughing as they flailed their arms. I grabbed the rope on the side of the boat and pulled myself in, sloshing water all over Chandler.
"Ooh, sorry," I said as Kelsey flung herself over the side of the boat. I shivered, shaking my head, making water fly everywhere. Monica sighed.
Soon we stopped for lunch. After I had a large bottle of Gatorade and a sandwich, Kelsey, Trevor, Allen, Phoebe, Joey and I ran down to play in the rushing river. We splashed each other and toppled over into the cold water. I sat in our raft as everyone else joined us.
Now the rapids were getting closer and all of us were soaked. I shivered; I was freezing. The raft bobbed up and down like a cork in a defective toilet (what a strange analogy).
Kelsey squealed loudly as a huge wave washed into the raft and over her feet. I snickered and rested my arm on the side. I knew I should have been holding onto the handles, but I was very tired.
Suddenly we hit a particularly rough patch and I flew out of my seat.
"Yeaugh!" I cried, flying over the edge. Chandler reached his arm out and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back in. Kelsey laughed in relief.
"Jane! Are you all right?" Mom was yelling.
"Yeah!" I cried back. I turned to Chandler. "Thanks!"
"No problem," he said. Trevor and Allen were laughing their heads off and pointing at me, flopping around on the bottom of the boat as Ross and Rachel stared.
"It wasn't that funny!" I yelled back.
"Well that's where you're wrong," Kelsey said dryly. I grinned. Dad and Mom were talking to Joey and Phoebe. They had apparently moved on. I sat back in my seat, panting.
"Sheesh," I groaned. I looked around quickly and seized the handles. The raft continued to jump up and down on the waves. Kelsey and I screamed things at the top of our lungs until Mom gave me a bad look. I blushed and stopped.
"Now this is the very beginning of the rapids," Jason said from the back of the boat.
"The BEGINNING?" Chandler said incredulously. "I thought that it was the end!" Monica put a comforting hand on his trembling arm. I sat back and did whatever I could to get ready, and that included making casual conversation...with Allen and Trevor.
"Allen!" I said loudly. He looked over. "Isn't Jackass on tonight?" He bobbed his head a lot, or maybe it was just the effects of the raft. I leaned back over to Kelsey.
"We can watch Jackass tonight," I said cheerfully.
"What's that, some sort of teen music video countdown?" Chandler asked. Kelsey and I gasped.
"You have never heard of Jackass?" Kelsey asked. "What about Johnny Knoxville?" Monica shook her head. I sighed.
"O-kay. Johnny Knoxville is the host," I began. "Of this show where guys do the stupidest things they can think of, like getting dressed in a bear costume and wrestling an actual bear. But once a guy got dressed up as fairy and went around as the Park Meter Fairy and filling up people's expired parking meters."
"Ah ha," Monica said. "Sounds...interesting."
"Ooh, it really is," Kelsey said enthusiastically. The boat began bobbing up and down again. "You'll have to watch it sometime," she added as we began paddling. Now the splashing into the boat was becoming even more intense, and repetitive waves of water washed over my lap.
I flew into the air again, but I fell back onto the seat after frantically flailing my arms to get back to the seat. I landed in a millisecond with a squeaky thud.
"I am OK!" I announced proudly as the water churned. The four of us paddled with the encouragement of Jason. I sighed and ran a hand through my damp hair.
Soon we were in between huge rocks. The raft bumped against them. I expected us to start moving again, but it didn't happen. We were stuck on a rock.
"Aww, crap," Jason muttered and hoisted himself over the edge of the raft. He loosened a knot in the rope and jumped back in. We continued on our way down the river.
Soon we were at the end. I shakily got out of the raft and climbed up the hill to where the bus was waiting. Kelsey followed me up the stairs on the bus to our seats. Jason handed us each a towel and I wrapped myself up in it, sitting down.
"That was great!" Trevor was shouting. Allen bobbed his head in agreement. I rested my wet head against the window and closed my eyes.
***
"Mom, I'm hungry!" Allen whined after we had gotten dressed. I groaned and slapped at a mosquito on my ankle.
"Well, there's a restaurant down the road," she grumbled.
***
I sat in my chair in the dingy restaurant with elk heads, Budweiser signs and stoplights as the source of decoration. I rested my head on my hands.
"And what can I get for you?" the waitress said, smacking her gum.
"Coffee. Sugar. Cream," I said dully. Ross and Joey glanced at me. I shrugged.
"Okay," she said, waltzing away. I sighed and pushed my hair out of my eyes.
"Tired, sweetie?" Mom asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I guess so. I'm drinking coffee, aren't I?" I asked.
"Yes, that is what you're doing, isn't it?" Dad said dryly. Allen and Trevor were whispering and pointing at me, giggling loudly.
"What?" I said agitatedly, folding my arms.
"We were just talking about when you almost fell out of the raft," he said with a smirk. I sighed.
"It was an accident," I said, trying to persuade him. Trevor shook his head.
"Nah nah. If Chandler hadn't grabbed you, you would have fallen in," he said with a cackle. I shot a look at Chandler, who wore a smirk. Kelsey put a hand on my shoulder, knowing that my temper was kicking in. I sighed as the waitress came over and placed our drinks in front of us. I took a long sip of the steaming coffee.
"Yeah, yeah. So it was my fault," I said to Allen and Trevor, who raised their hand in victory. I smiled sheepishly.
Kelsey sat on my right side and Rachel on my left. I took another gulp of java and sat it down on the coaster with a picture of a buffalo on it. I anxiously drummed my fingers. Soon the waitress sat a hamburger down in front of me. I quickly unfurled my napkin and dug into it.
Allen and Trevor attacked their identical kiddie plates of chicken fingers as Kelsey stabbed a fork into her barbeque beef. Mom and Dad politely nibbled at steaks as Rachel, Monica and Phoebe ate large bowls of salad. Chandler chewed on a mouthful of corn that came with his chicken and Ross and Joey feasted on steaks.
I sighed happily and dipped a few French fries into a puddle of ketchup on the brown glass plate. As soon as I was finished, I shoved my plate away from me. Soon everyone else had finished. I stood up and we walked out to the car.
I threw myself into the seat and turned to Kelsey.
"My god, am I tired," I sighed.
"Yep, me too," she said sympathetically.
***
"Put that down. We just had dinner," Mom was nagging Allen back at the cabin.
"Geez, sorry," he said crabbily. Kelsey and I sat on the floor, a chessboard in front of us. Kelsey focused on the board.
"Check mate," she said happily.
"Nooooo!" I yelled. I faked tears. Chandler and Ross watched from their perch on the sofa.
"She's such a good loser," Chandler mused as he watched 'Trading Spaces' reruns. (AN: I love that show! Anywho...) I gave him an amused look.
"Well, you wanna see how much of a bad loser you are, Bing?" I asked aggressively, surprising myself.
"Jane!" Allen's voice rang out. "Jackass is on now! There are 3 episodes on tonight!" He danced around from foot to foot.
"Then change it!" I said as Chandler came to sit on the floor. I set up the chessboard.
**Twenty minutes Later*
"Checkmate!" I yelled, jumping up and dancing around the room. Chandler grimaced and let himself fall over onto the floor.
"Good job, Jane," Kelsey said, giving me a high five.
"You too, you beat me before," I said happily. We both danced around the room and clinked our root beer cans. We plunked ourselves down onto the couch and watched a group of men sliding down a hill in a plastic tub on top of a skateboard.
"If this isn't comedy, I don't know what is," Trevor remarked as the tub smashed into a tree. We giggled as the men in the tub swore and rolled around on the ground.
Now Ross and Chandler were sitting on the floor, Chandler concentrating hard on the chess game, determined to win. He moved a pawn forward, but just then, Ross captured his rook. Chandler banged his fist on the ground and growled.
Next on the TV, two men and a woman guzzled down a gallon of milk each.
"He's gonna blow!" Trevor shrieked excitedly as one of the men doubled over and began retching.
"Oh! Gross!" Allen yelled as the man emptied the calcium rich contents of his stomach. The other man followed in suit. It looked like the woman might have been able to hold out at first. But soon she too had upchucked onto the ground. What a pity.
We cackled together as a man got a bikini wax. Then, the same man got his head shaved. Then he jumped off a high dive with stilts on. A man was put into a heavy suit and hoisted up on a crane and smashed into a Port-a-Potty. A man crawled out of a dumpster dressed as a fairy and walked around putting change in people's expired parking meters.
After the last episode, we had built a pyramid of all of the empty root beer cans. I was stretched out on the sofa with my arms flung over the edge. Trevor and Allen had moved to the floor to try to help Ross and Chandler play chess. Kelsey had just left to go buy more root beer (which she loved).
But then Mom walked in the room.
"What are you guys doing awake?!" she squeaked.
"Watching TV," I replied innocently, attempting to sit up.
"Go to bed!" she hissed. "Where's Kelsey?"
"Buying root beer," Trevor explained.
"We drank it all," Allen chimed in.
"Well, I'm really tired, off to bed for me, good night!" I said quickly, waving to everyone and rushing from the room. In the safety of my room, I let out a sigh of relief. Just then, Kelsey stepped in.
"Why are Ross and Chandler still playing chess?" she asked, mystified.
"Chandler kept guessing that he could beat Ross, even though he sorta sucks at chess," I said softly. We changed into our PJs and went to sleep, laughing as Chandler screamed at Ross every few minutes.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Oh my. Every single time I start a new chapter of this I think it'll take me one day. Then one day escalates to one WEEK. Ah well. I heard on the news that there are lots of reports of RABID BATS in my area. How comforting is THAT? Also, does anyone know how to play the game MASH? I have looked EVERYWHERE online and cannot find the instructions! If you do, let me know. Thank ya much! Please review!
See ya later, oh faithful friends.
Skye
By Skye Rocket
Disclaimer: The owned are: Jane, Allen, Trevor, Kelsey, Mom and Dad. Unowned are (I know you really don't believe that I own these people anyway): Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey. But I bet you didn't know I owned Matthew Perry, didja? Hahahaha. Ahem. Sorry. *bows* Thank you.
A/N: Hurrah! My headache has fled, for the most part. Yay for me. Anywho...
Thanks for the reviews!
*-*-*-*Day Five*-*-*-*
I awoke with a start as someone leapt onto the bed and pulled my hair.
"What in the-," I began, but I saw Trevor and Allen jumping on the bed.
"Guys!" Kelsey moaned sleepily, her ace buried in the pillow. "Stop it!"
"You guys overslept!" Trevor cried. "And remember what today is?" Kelsey and I glanced at each other and a flicker of realization filled the room.
"Rafting day!!!" the four of us shrieked. I smiled my biggest grin and leapt up. I flung open the drawer and pulled out my fading jeans, a blue t-shirt and a hooded sweatshirt. I also pulled out my bathing suit and flopped it onto the floor.
I quickly changed while Kelsey went to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth. Allen and Trev were already dressed in their trunks and t-shirts. I ran out and took the vitamin for that day. Mom and Dad were over quietly talking to Joey and Ross.
"Well, yeah, they said they always have spots open," Dad said. "They don't get as much business as the others." I knew what was happening right then. Dad was inviting all of them to come with us.
*-*-*-*-*
Kelsey, Allen, Trevor and I sat, crammed into Monica and Chandler's car. I suspected that Trevor and Allen made them sort of nervous.
"So, kids," Chandler began. "You ever done anything like this before?"
"No," we all said lazily.
"You nervous?" he asked, but his voice sounded more than a little shaky. Monica must have seen it too.
"Aww, Chandler, don't be nervous," she said softly, and kissed his cheek.
"Monica! Watch the road!" Trevor shouted. Monica grabbed the steering wheel and swerved to avoid a group of bikers.
"My god!" Kelsey said.
"I have seen death, and laughed at it!" Allen said loudly. Monica grumbled and looked back to the road. I shrugged and pulled out the deck of cards.
"Anybody up?" I asked, holding up a bag of chocolate kisses.
"I'm in!" the three of my companions cried.
----*----
"You nervous?" Ross asked me as we got onto the bus to go to the river.
"Nah, no way," I said. But now, I felt a little shivery. I adjusted my helmet and settled in next to Kelsey. I turned to her.
"So..."
"Yeppers," I replied.
"Do ya believe in UFOs?" she asked suddenly.
"Nope. But I do believe in aliens. I don't think they'd leave their home planet though. But how come if they're looking for intelligent life, they always find the dumbest people?"
"Bad luck," Phoebe said in the seat in front of us.
"Of course!" I said with a laugh.
"Do you believe in UFOs, Phoebe?" I asked.
"Sure!" she said enthusiastically. "I think I saw one once, when I was about 13 and I was living on the streets."
"Cool! I think saw one at my cousins," I agreed. "Maybe some crop circles too."
"What about the Loch Ness Monster?" Ross asked. "It's pretty close to a dinosaur," he added in dreamily.
"Sure do!" Kelsey said happily. "Why shouldn't it be real?"
"How about brain transplants?" Joey asked. "Do you see that in the near future?"
"Yeah!" Allen was shouting. "You could put a chicken brain in a human and make a chicken man."
"Wow!" Trevor said. "Or rhinoceros man!"
"Hey, do you guys believe in Bigfoot?" Ross asked.
"Heck yeah!" I said. "I saw one on the train, remember, Allen?"
"Yes! That was pretty cool," he said, eyes shining. I hung my arm out of the window.
"Jane, be careful," Trevor said. "A bear might see your hand there, hangin' out the window and might BITE IT OFF!"
"Hey, Jane, remember when we went to Georgia and you stuck your hand out the bus window and the driver got mad and yelled 'Get your hand in the bus!!!'?" Allen said, laughing. I blushed.
"That was humiliating!" I cried. "OK, I'm taking a survey."
"Alright," Rachel said.
"OK, bacon bits or croutons?"
"Croutons," Rachel said surely.
"Do you like Macadamia nuts or peanuts?"
"Peanuts," she said, but she and Ross glanced at each other at the mention of Macadamia nuts.
"Thick, bushy eyebrows: creepy or the next big thing?"
"Creepy!" she said with a giggle.
"All right, that's all. Very interesting," I said. "So, where are you guys from?"
"New York," Joey said happily. "It's the best."
"All of us are from Kansas," Kelsey said. "It's the worst," she added with sigh.
"Well, we do have the creek," I said. "And Dairy Queen." I took a brief minute to fondly remember the days after dances and such where a large percent of the student body of our school went to wind down. Or maybe wind up?
"Anyways!" Allen yelped. "So, do you guys believe in government conspiracies?"
"Yeah! Maybe our tax money goes to creating a secret robot force to wipe out other countries' armies!" Phoebe yelped.
"Don't steal, the Government hates competition," I said, remembering a bumper sticker I had seen on a car at one time. "What about animals becoming possessed?"
"One time I saw a cat with red eyes," Joey said with a shiver. "Looked right through ya..." We spent the whole rest of the ride talking about the paranormal side to life and doing little surveys.
***
"Kelsey!" I said. "Look at our guide." She gave me a mega-watt smile.
"You like him..." she said in a singsong way.
"Well, maybe I do," I said, sitting in the boat. Monica and Chandler joined us soon in the boat and we pushed off the edge and began our way down the river.
"Hi guys," the guide said. "My name's Jason."
"Hey," Kelsey and I said together.
"Are they your daughters?" Jason asked Chandler.
"Nope, nope. We're staying in the same cabin as them and we all got to be friends and decided to come together," Chandler explained. I quickly leaned over to Kelsey.
"We're friends? I thought he HATED us!" I hissed. She bobbed her head furiously.
"I know!" she said cheerily. We returned to our seats and started paddling.
"You know, you can get out if you want," Jason said.
"Chandler, do you want to?" Kelsey asked. Chandler furiously shook his head.
"Come on, Kelsey," I said, and we jumped out. The water was deep and freezing.
"Oh my god!" I heard Kelsey yell from the other side of the raft. Trevor and Allen had also gotten out of the raft and were yelling at the top of their lungs. Ross and Rachel were laughing at them as they looked of the side of the raft at the struggling boys.
Meanwhile, Joey and Phoebe had jumped out and were laughing as they flailed their arms. I grabbed the rope on the side of the boat and pulled myself in, sloshing water all over Chandler.
"Ooh, sorry," I said as Kelsey flung herself over the side of the boat. I shivered, shaking my head, making water fly everywhere. Monica sighed.
Soon we stopped for lunch. After I had a large bottle of Gatorade and a sandwich, Kelsey, Trevor, Allen, Phoebe, Joey and I ran down to play in the rushing river. We splashed each other and toppled over into the cold water. I sat in our raft as everyone else joined us.
Now the rapids were getting closer and all of us were soaked. I shivered; I was freezing. The raft bobbed up and down like a cork in a defective toilet (what a strange analogy).
Kelsey squealed loudly as a huge wave washed into the raft and over her feet. I snickered and rested my arm on the side. I knew I should have been holding onto the handles, but I was very tired.
Suddenly we hit a particularly rough patch and I flew out of my seat.
"Yeaugh!" I cried, flying over the edge. Chandler reached his arm out and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back in. Kelsey laughed in relief.
"Jane! Are you all right?" Mom was yelling.
"Yeah!" I cried back. I turned to Chandler. "Thanks!"
"No problem," he said. Trevor and Allen were laughing their heads off and pointing at me, flopping around on the bottom of the boat as Ross and Rachel stared.
"It wasn't that funny!" I yelled back.
"Well that's where you're wrong," Kelsey said dryly. I grinned. Dad and Mom were talking to Joey and Phoebe. They had apparently moved on. I sat back in my seat, panting.
"Sheesh," I groaned. I looked around quickly and seized the handles. The raft continued to jump up and down on the waves. Kelsey and I screamed things at the top of our lungs until Mom gave me a bad look. I blushed and stopped.
"Now this is the very beginning of the rapids," Jason said from the back of the boat.
"The BEGINNING?" Chandler said incredulously. "I thought that it was the end!" Monica put a comforting hand on his trembling arm. I sat back and did whatever I could to get ready, and that included making casual conversation...with Allen and Trevor.
"Allen!" I said loudly. He looked over. "Isn't Jackass on tonight?" He bobbed his head a lot, or maybe it was just the effects of the raft. I leaned back over to Kelsey.
"We can watch Jackass tonight," I said cheerfully.
"What's that, some sort of teen music video countdown?" Chandler asked. Kelsey and I gasped.
"You have never heard of Jackass?" Kelsey asked. "What about Johnny Knoxville?" Monica shook her head. I sighed.
"O-kay. Johnny Knoxville is the host," I began. "Of this show where guys do the stupidest things they can think of, like getting dressed in a bear costume and wrestling an actual bear. But once a guy got dressed up as fairy and went around as the Park Meter Fairy and filling up people's expired parking meters."
"Ah ha," Monica said. "Sounds...interesting."
"Ooh, it really is," Kelsey said enthusiastically. The boat began bobbing up and down again. "You'll have to watch it sometime," she added as we began paddling. Now the splashing into the boat was becoming even more intense, and repetitive waves of water washed over my lap.
I flew into the air again, but I fell back onto the seat after frantically flailing my arms to get back to the seat. I landed in a millisecond with a squeaky thud.
"I am OK!" I announced proudly as the water churned. The four of us paddled with the encouragement of Jason. I sighed and ran a hand through my damp hair.
Soon we were in between huge rocks. The raft bumped against them. I expected us to start moving again, but it didn't happen. We were stuck on a rock.
"Aww, crap," Jason muttered and hoisted himself over the edge of the raft. He loosened a knot in the rope and jumped back in. We continued on our way down the river.
Soon we were at the end. I shakily got out of the raft and climbed up the hill to where the bus was waiting. Kelsey followed me up the stairs on the bus to our seats. Jason handed us each a towel and I wrapped myself up in it, sitting down.
"That was great!" Trevor was shouting. Allen bobbed his head in agreement. I rested my wet head against the window and closed my eyes.
***
"Mom, I'm hungry!" Allen whined after we had gotten dressed. I groaned and slapped at a mosquito on my ankle.
"Well, there's a restaurant down the road," she grumbled.
***
I sat in my chair in the dingy restaurant with elk heads, Budweiser signs and stoplights as the source of decoration. I rested my head on my hands.
"And what can I get for you?" the waitress said, smacking her gum.
"Coffee. Sugar. Cream," I said dully. Ross and Joey glanced at me. I shrugged.
"Okay," she said, waltzing away. I sighed and pushed my hair out of my eyes.
"Tired, sweetie?" Mom asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I guess so. I'm drinking coffee, aren't I?" I asked.
"Yes, that is what you're doing, isn't it?" Dad said dryly. Allen and Trevor were whispering and pointing at me, giggling loudly.
"What?" I said agitatedly, folding my arms.
"We were just talking about when you almost fell out of the raft," he said with a smirk. I sighed.
"It was an accident," I said, trying to persuade him. Trevor shook his head.
"Nah nah. If Chandler hadn't grabbed you, you would have fallen in," he said with a cackle. I shot a look at Chandler, who wore a smirk. Kelsey put a hand on my shoulder, knowing that my temper was kicking in. I sighed as the waitress came over and placed our drinks in front of us. I took a long sip of the steaming coffee.
"Yeah, yeah. So it was my fault," I said to Allen and Trevor, who raised their hand in victory. I smiled sheepishly.
Kelsey sat on my right side and Rachel on my left. I took another gulp of java and sat it down on the coaster with a picture of a buffalo on it. I anxiously drummed my fingers. Soon the waitress sat a hamburger down in front of me. I quickly unfurled my napkin and dug into it.
Allen and Trevor attacked their identical kiddie plates of chicken fingers as Kelsey stabbed a fork into her barbeque beef. Mom and Dad politely nibbled at steaks as Rachel, Monica and Phoebe ate large bowls of salad. Chandler chewed on a mouthful of corn that came with his chicken and Ross and Joey feasted on steaks.
I sighed happily and dipped a few French fries into a puddle of ketchup on the brown glass plate. As soon as I was finished, I shoved my plate away from me. Soon everyone else had finished. I stood up and we walked out to the car.
I threw myself into the seat and turned to Kelsey.
"My god, am I tired," I sighed.
"Yep, me too," she said sympathetically.
***
"Put that down. We just had dinner," Mom was nagging Allen back at the cabin.
"Geez, sorry," he said crabbily. Kelsey and I sat on the floor, a chessboard in front of us. Kelsey focused on the board.
"Check mate," she said happily.
"Nooooo!" I yelled. I faked tears. Chandler and Ross watched from their perch on the sofa.
"She's such a good loser," Chandler mused as he watched 'Trading Spaces' reruns. (AN: I love that show! Anywho...) I gave him an amused look.
"Well, you wanna see how much of a bad loser you are, Bing?" I asked aggressively, surprising myself.
"Jane!" Allen's voice rang out. "Jackass is on now! There are 3 episodes on tonight!" He danced around from foot to foot.
"Then change it!" I said as Chandler came to sit on the floor. I set up the chessboard.
**Twenty minutes Later*
"Checkmate!" I yelled, jumping up and dancing around the room. Chandler grimaced and let himself fall over onto the floor.
"Good job, Jane," Kelsey said, giving me a high five.
"You too, you beat me before," I said happily. We both danced around the room and clinked our root beer cans. We plunked ourselves down onto the couch and watched a group of men sliding down a hill in a plastic tub on top of a skateboard.
"If this isn't comedy, I don't know what is," Trevor remarked as the tub smashed into a tree. We giggled as the men in the tub swore and rolled around on the ground.
Now Ross and Chandler were sitting on the floor, Chandler concentrating hard on the chess game, determined to win. He moved a pawn forward, but just then, Ross captured his rook. Chandler banged his fist on the ground and growled.
Next on the TV, two men and a woman guzzled down a gallon of milk each.
"He's gonna blow!" Trevor shrieked excitedly as one of the men doubled over and began retching.
"Oh! Gross!" Allen yelled as the man emptied the calcium rich contents of his stomach. The other man followed in suit. It looked like the woman might have been able to hold out at first. But soon she too had upchucked onto the ground. What a pity.
We cackled together as a man got a bikini wax. Then, the same man got his head shaved. Then he jumped off a high dive with stilts on. A man was put into a heavy suit and hoisted up on a crane and smashed into a Port-a-Potty. A man crawled out of a dumpster dressed as a fairy and walked around putting change in people's expired parking meters.
After the last episode, we had built a pyramid of all of the empty root beer cans. I was stretched out on the sofa with my arms flung over the edge. Trevor and Allen had moved to the floor to try to help Ross and Chandler play chess. Kelsey had just left to go buy more root beer (which she loved).
But then Mom walked in the room.
"What are you guys doing awake?!" she squeaked.
"Watching TV," I replied innocently, attempting to sit up.
"Go to bed!" she hissed. "Where's Kelsey?"
"Buying root beer," Trevor explained.
"We drank it all," Allen chimed in.
"Well, I'm really tired, off to bed for me, good night!" I said quickly, waving to everyone and rushing from the room. In the safety of my room, I let out a sigh of relief. Just then, Kelsey stepped in.
"Why are Ross and Chandler still playing chess?" she asked, mystified.
"Chandler kept guessing that he could beat Ross, even though he sorta sucks at chess," I said softly. We changed into our PJs and went to sleep, laughing as Chandler screamed at Ross every few minutes.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Oh my. Every single time I start a new chapter of this I think it'll take me one day. Then one day escalates to one WEEK. Ah well. I heard on the news that there are lots of reports of RABID BATS in my area. How comforting is THAT? Also, does anyone know how to play the game MASH? I have looked EVERYWHERE online and cannot find the instructions! If you do, let me know. Thank ya much! Please review!
See ya later, oh faithful friends.
Skye