It's my second week in Los Angeles.
I've started to walk around, take in my surroundings, when I found this under the bed in the motel room.
A diary.
I know what a diary is, a place to record your feelings and achievements, and as I stare at it, and realise with the events of my previous week, to write it out may help to sort out the jumble that is my mind lately.
Since I came here I can't seem to grasp what has been happening to me.
Before, everything seemed do much more simple.
I knew what I was, who I was, my purpose in life.
It wasn't a pretty purpose, but if vengeance was it then it was it.
I was always taught my father, the real one, was evil, a demon that I was to one day avenge the wrongs he did. Then less than an hour ago the person I trusted most in the world says I should be with him!
A demon child, that's what he thinks of me. He's never said that to me before, nothing like it. Never! Why now?
"A bastard child of two demons."
Is that what I am? That evil? For that matter is my real father really evil? I wish I were surer. I just felt so comfortable in battle and playing around later, it clouds everything.
I know I shouldn't even think it but I cannot help but wonder. It was like a dormant spark suddenly lit again when we were together.
I just don't understand it.
I guess the doubts started to show when we fought for the first time. Him trying to calm me down, I could understand, he did not want to fight me, but when he had me and did not take my life, the doubts came. I mean, he had me there, on the floor, blade to my throat and yet he did not kill me. I couldn't really think on it then, with the over hang of terror in my mind, 'he's going to kill me, he's going to kill me' running, no flying, through my head.
But he didn't. And that's what is important. Then he showed up at Sunny's.
……………………………………………….
I've started to walk around, take in my surroundings, when I found this under the bed in the motel room.
A diary.
I know what a diary is, a place to record your feelings and achievements, and as I stare at it, and realise with the events of my previous week, to write it out may help to sort out the jumble that is my mind lately.
Since I came here I can't seem to grasp what has been happening to me.
Before, everything seemed do much more simple.
I knew what I was, who I was, my purpose in life.
It wasn't a pretty purpose, but if vengeance was it then it was it.
I was always taught my father, the real one, was evil, a demon that I was to one day avenge the wrongs he did. Then less than an hour ago the person I trusted most in the world says I should be with him!
A demon child, that's what he thinks of me. He's never said that to me before, nothing like it. Never! Why now?
"A bastard child of two demons."
Is that what I am? That evil? For that matter is my real father really evil? I wish I were surer. I just felt so comfortable in battle and playing around later, it clouds everything.
I know I shouldn't even think it but I cannot help but wonder. It was like a dormant spark suddenly lit again when we were together.
I just don't understand it.
I guess the doubts started to show when we fought for the first time. Him trying to calm me down, I could understand, he did not want to fight me, but when he had me and did not take my life, the doubts came. I mean, he had me there, on the floor, blade to my throat and yet he did not kill me. I couldn't really think on it then, with the over hang of terror in my mind, 'he's going to kill me, he's going to kill me' running, no flying, through my head.
But he didn't. And that's what is important. Then he showed up at Sunny's.
……………………………………………….