A/N: OK next chapter, better I hope. I realized I forgot to do the usual disclaimers, so, here goes: I do not own Moulin Rouge or any of the characters, no matter how much I may wish it. I do not own Real World and don't really wish too. These things belong to Baz Luhrman and MTV. And Carson Daly fans, I mean you no offense, I'm just having fun. Also, any references I make to other stuff, well, they aren't mine! (I kind of make an implied reference to the book "Big Trouble" by Dave Barry, which is excellent).
(Satine is sitting in a random dark corner where for some reason no one else is, talking quietly to the camera.)
Satine: Who does he think he is…this…this Obi-Wan? I mean, sure, I found out he's got a lightsabre, but…but…I can look good and sing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend".
(Cameraman quickly runs away as Satine gets up and attempts to prove this. As the camera is bumpily moving away, we here a muffled "The French are glad to die…")
(Camera has now arrived in a bed room, where a confused-looking old man is sitting on the corner of the bed mumbling strange sounds and counting something on his fingers. This is Satie.)
Satie (completely to himself): First I had two shoes…now there's just one. Two shoes, then one. That means…HEY, FRANK TOOK MY SHOE!
(Camera dramatically zooms in on Satie. In the background we hear Satie's self-proclaimed theme song playing, "Meet Me In the Redroom.)
Satie: First he tried to live in my foot, then he went and took my darn shoe. Back in my day we didn't do that…
(Satie continues mumbling strange things to himself, while cameraman goes off to find Frank. Frank is hiding in the shower, crouching down, hovering over a shoe.)
Frank: SHHH! He can't no I'm in here! I found this shoe, and it's so lovely, and I must…I must…OK, fine, I admit it, I have a foot-fetish. I can't control myself. But Satie's feet, they're just so gorgeous. True works of art really, and since he won't let me near his feet I had to settle with this shoe. Ahh, but what a shoe it is.
(Cameraman runs away, highly disturbed. As he runs past Satie again: )
Satie: I had two shoes, now I have one, two minus one….oh screw it.
(Camera now goes back out into the main room, where we find Christian getting out of the Jacuzzi, soaking wet, still wearing only his jeans. "Bob" the Argentinean apparently can't take his eyes off him.)
Christian (at the bar): Hey Toulouse! Hey - why are you still dressed like a nun?
Toulouse (finally backing away from the Green Fairy): I suppose it's about time I told you. I'm a cross dresser. And nuns happen to be my favorite. Now go away, silly boy.
Christian: Well I KNEW that. As if bursting into my apartment wasn't enough…ok ya know what? Just get me a drink.
(Toulouse pours some Absinthe into a glass that says "Catch TRL on MTV everyday!", and then goes back to the Green Fairy.)
Christian: Christ, advertisements everywhere! And I am so much better looking than Carson Daly anyways!
(Christian gulps down the absinthe and immediately falls backward on the floor. Camera continues on back downstairs where we find a scene of chaos.)
Zidler (holding the Duke down): Shh! Just try to relax -
Duke: NOOOOO! I can't take it anymore! He's trying to attack me! Look at his red eyes! CAN'T YOU SEE HIM???
Zidler: No. There's nothing there. Just calm down. Breathe slowly, in, out, in, out. Geez, you look like you're giving birth or something.
Duke: NOOOOO! MAKE IT STOP!
Zidler: I tried to warn you that the toad was hallucinogenic! And then you went and kissed it anyways! Whatever you see isn't real.
Duke: But…but…it's my worst nightmare! I see…CARSON DALY! He has red eyes and he's trying to kill me!
(Zidler runs screaming from the room, apparently terrified by even the thought of Carson Daly. The Duke is left to his own defenses.)
(Satine is sitting in a random dark corner where for some reason no one else is, talking quietly to the camera.)
Satine: Who does he think he is…this…this Obi-Wan? I mean, sure, I found out he's got a lightsabre, but…but…I can look good and sing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend".
(Cameraman quickly runs away as Satine gets up and attempts to prove this. As the camera is bumpily moving away, we here a muffled "The French are glad to die…")
(Camera has now arrived in a bed room, where a confused-looking old man is sitting on the corner of the bed mumbling strange sounds and counting something on his fingers. This is Satie.)
Satie (completely to himself): First I had two shoes…now there's just one. Two shoes, then one. That means…HEY, FRANK TOOK MY SHOE!
(Camera dramatically zooms in on Satie. In the background we hear Satie's self-proclaimed theme song playing, "Meet Me In the Redroom.)
Satie: First he tried to live in my foot, then he went and took my darn shoe. Back in my day we didn't do that…
(Satie continues mumbling strange things to himself, while cameraman goes off to find Frank. Frank is hiding in the shower, crouching down, hovering over a shoe.)
Frank: SHHH! He can't no I'm in here! I found this shoe, and it's so lovely, and I must…I must…OK, fine, I admit it, I have a foot-fetish. I can't control myself. But Satie's feet, they're just so gorgeous. True works of art really, and since he won't let me near his feet I had to settle with this shoe. Ahh, but what a shoe it is.
(Cameraman runs away, highly disturbed. As he runs past Satie again: )
Satie: I had two shoes, now I have one, two minus one….oh screw it.
(Camera now goes back out into the main room, where we find Christian getting out of the Jacuzzi, soaking wet, still wearing only his jeans. "Bob" the Argentinean apparently can't take his eyes off him.)
Christian (at the bar): Hey Toulouse! Hey - why are you still dressed like a nun?
Toulouse (finally backing away from the Green Fairy): I suppose it's about time I told you. I'm a cross dresser. And nuns happen to be my favorite. Now go away, silly boy.
Christian: Well I KNEW that. As if bursting into my apartment wasn't enough…ok ya know what? Just get me a drink.
(Toulouse pours some Absinthe into a glass that says "Catch TRL on MTV everyday!", and then goes back to the Green Fairy.)
Christian: Christ, advertisements everywhere! And I am so much better looking than Carson Daly anyways!
(Christian gulps down the absinthe and immediately falls backward on the floor. Camera continues on back downstairs where we find a scene of chaos.)
Zidler (holding the Duke down): Shh! Just try to relax -
Duke: NOOOOO! I can't take it anymore! He's trying to attack me! Look at his red eyes! CAN'T YOU SEE HIM???
Zidler: No. There's nothing there. Just calm down. Breathe slowly, in, out, in, out. Geez, you look like you're giving birth or something.
Duke: NOOOOO! MAKE IT STOP!
Zidler: I tried to warn you that the toad was hallucinogenic! And then you went and kissed it anyways! Whatever you see isn't real.
Duke: But…but…it's my worst nightmare! I see…CARSON DALY! He has red eyes and he's trying to kill me!
(Zidler runs screaming from the room, apparently terrified by even the thought of Carson Daly. The Duke is left to his own defenses.)