Morning Announcements

"This is Principal Kelly speaking. Here are the morning announcements for Wednesday. First of all Ms. Harmony's English classes will meet in room 105 today due to the problems with the pipes in the regular classroom."

"Second, will whoever parked the zamboni in the teacher's parking lot please remove it immediately?"

"The fashion club will meet after school today to discuss topics of importance. Members are reminded to bring their nail polish and boy band magazines."

"Swimming lessons are canceled today due to the fact that the pool is filled with chocolate pudding. Again."

"Once again I must remind students that skateboarding is banned on school grounds. ESPECIALLY IN THE HALLS!"

"Will members of the Magician's club please report to room 123 after announcements and pick up your props from yesterday's meeting? There are rabbits all over the place. And if you can un-levitate the desks that would be greatly appreciated."

"The dance committee will be taking suggestions for the theme of the upcoming Homecoming dance in the cafeteria today. Please give some serious thought to this. Especially you jokers who wrote that the theme song should be 'Monster Mash'! That's not funny people!"

"While I am on the topic of suggestions, I might remind all of you that the suggestion box in the main office is for improving the school. And I don't mean calling for my resignation or any other not so polite terms! I am severely tempted to remove it due the ridiculous comments people are making! For the last time my name is spelled K-E-L-L-Y! NOT K-E-L-Y! OR K-E-L-L-I OR C-E-L-L-I! If you are going to insult me at least get my name right!"

"The debate club will meet today in room 200. Today's topic, which is a more accurate representation of the future: Star Trek or Furturama?"

"Attention students and faculty, there will be a school assembly this Friday during first period. You will report to your morning classes then be dismissed via the intercom. Also pictures for the slideshow presentation are due this Thursday. See Mr. West for details."

"From the yearbook committee: the remaining balances on your yearbooks are overdue. Pay up you deadbeats! Payment must be when the yearbooks come in. Whenever that is. They may be lost in the mail."

"Congratulations to the band for a fantastic performance at the music festival in Cactus Flats, Nevada this weekend. The Percussion Ensemble received and Honorable Mention as well as the Jazz Band and the Concert Band came back in one piece. The school received fifth place in the overall competition. Unfortunately the Color Guard is still missing. But we have recovered the lost instruments and most of them are in good condition. With the exception of the tubas. Please see Mrs. Gallo about replacements."

"Whoever glued the sausage links to the second floor ceiling please report to the office at once!"

"Also a note to the science department; no more stink bombs for any experiments!"

"Will the members of the Fencing club please refrain from dueling in the halls."

"A representative from Hilari-U Clown College will be here in the guidance department this Thursday. Students that are interested please see your counselor. Based on some of your academic performances, some of you Seniors might seriously consider this for a possible career."

"Just reminder to students that if you have a problem, my door is always open. Mainly because somebody stole it last night and I want it back!"

"That concludes today's announcements. Have a good day. Because I'm not gonna have one that's for sure!"