1 Chapter 1: The Queen of the Amazons
"…and she said something about Shampoo," mused Akane's father. "That girl has given us a lot of trouble, and if this one is some relative…" He turned on Ranma. "Raaaaanmaaaaaa…!"
"But who on earth is she, other than a name?" asked Kasumi gently, ignoring her father, who was pounding around the dojo after Ranma. "I mean, did she look familiar, or anything?"
"She looked like Shampoo," said Akane bluntly. Her ankle still throbbed. "I mean, she had the same color hair, and the same clothes. But her weapon was a ribbon."
"Nihao!" said a voice. Akane looked up. There was Shampoo, carrying two boxes of Cat Café Ramen. She put them down and ran to separate Ranma from Soun.
When she came back, she said with strange friendliness, "Akane look hurt. What happen?"
They filled her in, but saved the name for last. "She said to tell you…her name's Conditioner, and she's, uh, back in town."
"Aiyaa!" cried Shampoo delightedly. "Conditioner is Shampoo older sister. I run to Great-Grandmother! Be back!" She left without another word.
Ranma and Akane were frozen.
"Sh-shampoo's…older…"
"Sister?"
When Shampoo returned, along with her came her great-grandmother hopping on her stick, Mousse, and Conditioner. Conditioner looked annoyed, as if she had been forced to come. Mousse looked a little out of it, as he always did when Shampoo was around. They settled themselves around the table silently, as if they had been invited.
"So," said Cologne, to break the silence. "You two have already met my older granddaughter, have you? She pointed at Ranma and Akane, who nodded mutely. "Heh-heh, she's the Queen of the Amazons! You should be honored! Don't wear such a long face," she added to Mousse, who was gazing sadly at Shampoo. "Conditioner won't allow him to touch Shampoo," she informed the Tendos.
No one knew what to say. The arrival had been much too sudden. Conditioner made no attempt to talk to any one of them. She simply ate her ramen without a glance to her companions. Shampoo was looking strange, as if she was in the presence of a god.
"So," said Conditioner to Akane. "I hear you've had problems with my sister, over that one." She indicated Ranma with a flick of her head, nothing more.
"Uh, yeah," said Akane. "She and I, um, fight often."
"Really," said Conditioner, gazing at Akane. "And what are you to him? Do you like him?"
Akane made an odd noise in her throat, and then she and Ranma spoke at the same time: "No, no! We're not…not together!"
"Ah," said Conditioner with a small smile. "Then why do you keep fighting Shampoo for him, if you aren't…'together'?"
Ranma blinked at her. Now that he thought about it…why did Akane fight Shampoo so much? He chanced a look at her, to see what she thought. Her face had an angry, set look to it.
"Because she's a nosy busybody and bothers us all the time!" snapped Akane.
The smile had gone from Conditioner's face. She stared at Akane as though she didn't quite believe what she had heard. "So…" she said slowly. "My sister is nosy…a busybody…and bothers everyone? Are you insulting her, you stick-thin, cowardly, pitiful excuse for a martial artist?" There was steel in her voice.
Akane rose, her face reddening. "Don't you dare say that to me!" she snarled, and threw her mug of tea at the cold face of Conditioner.
Like a flash, the Amazon's long ribbon sliced it neatly into two pieces. Then she jerked her hand, and it sped across the table to Akane. A quick flick, and Akane found her bangs shortened by an inch.
"Why do you hang around these thugs?" asked Conditioner to Shampoo. Then she got up and left.
Akane put a hand to her bangs in bewilderment. That girl had wanted to hurt her very badly; she had heard it in her voice and seen it in her eyes. Yet all Conditioner did was trim Akane's hair. What did it mean?
"Whoa," said Ranma, with grudging admiration in his tone. "That's some warrior."
"How can you say that?" growled Akane. "She only gave me a hair trim! That doesn't prove anything."
Soun shook his head. "No, my dear, you are wrong. That girl could have cut off your head with a flick of her wrist had she wanted to. But instead, she chose to show you just how good she was. For any other person, trimming someone's bangs with a ribbon would be an amazing feat. You don't even have a mark on your forehead, do you?" he asked shrewdly. "No, I thought not. She has remarkable control, that girl."
"Conditioner train by finest martial artists!" chimed Shampoo. "She no equal. She near god of ribbon-work! Great-Grandmother train by hand. Conditioner good enough beat Great-Grandmother!"
"Beat…that old hag?" gasped Ranma in amazement.
"Indeed," said Cologne, sipping her tea. "Conditioner is not an easy person to get along with. She is very proud of her skills—almost too proud, if you ask me. But she is very protective of Shampoo. I'd stay out of her way, if I was you!" she cackled to Akane. "Or she'll chop you into a hundred pieces. And don't try to get Shampoo while she's here," she told Mousse again.
Akane left and went to her room, fuming inwardly. That girl, that obnoxious, arrogant girl, oh, I'd love to beat her up… She looked up suddenly and found Ranma hanging upside down outside her window. "What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously.
Ranma shrugged. "Just to let you know, don't feel to down about Conditioner," he told her cheerfully. "I wouldn't worry about that if I were you." He smiled suddenly.
Akane stared. Is he offering to train me more…? I hope so.
"Since you've always lost to Shampoo before, stands to reason you're too weak to beat her sister!"
KAPOW.
"Ouch."
SPLASH.
"You!" yelled Conditioner, who magically appeared from nowhere. "I've heard about you! You beat my sister, and no one does that." She sliced out at Ranma's head.
"No!" called Shampoo. "You no hurt Ranma!" She raced to the pond and leaped in. "I save!"
"EEEAAARGGGG!!"
Akane sighed and watched the scene. Ranma-girl was running around, screaming, with Shampoo as a cat on her head, yowling at Conditioner, who was screaming Chinese obscenities while trying to slice off Ranma's head with her sword and not kill Shampoo at the same time.
"Just one more bit of chaos to this world," said Soun.
Cologne hopped up next to them on her stick. "Conditioner must learn more control," she said severely. "I am disappointed in her for losing her head like that. It is not benefiting for the Queen of the Amazons."
Akane blinked. "Queen of the Amazons?" she repeated. "B-but I thought…"
"You finally realized that," said Cologne with a sigh. "I've said that at least two times already. Anyhow, she was Queen before I left. But I wonder who's Queen now, since she's gone, and probably won't be back for a while."
Akane turned her attention back to the commotion in the garden and sighed. I hope she leaves soon…she's after both me and Ranma! We'll never get a moment's rest!
*~*~*~*~*
Soooo, how do you like it? Please tell me! E-mail me at dragongirl453@animefan.net!
"…and she said something about Shampoo," mused Akane's father. "That girl has given us a lot of trouble, and if this one is some relative…" He turned on Ranma. "Raaaaanmaaaaaa…!"
"But who on earth is she, other than a name?" asked Kasumi gently, ignoring her father, who was pounding around the dojo after Ranma. "I mean, did she look familiar, or anything?"
"She looked like Shampoo," said Akane bluntly. Her ankle still throbbed. "I mean, she had the same color hair, and the same clothes. But her weapon was a ribbon."
"Nihao!" said a voice. Akane looked up. There was Shampoo, carrying two boxes of Cat Café Ramen. She put them down and ran to separate Ranma from Soun.
When she came back, she said with strange friendliness, "Akane look hurt. What happen?"
They filled her in, but saved the name for last. "She said to tell you…her name's Conditioner, and she's, uh, back in town."
"Aiyaa!" cried Shampoo delightedly. "Conditioner is Shampoo older sister. I run to Great-Grandmother! Be back!" She left without another word.
Ranma and Akane were frozen.
"Sh-shampoo's…older…"
"Sister?"
When Shampoo returned, along with her came her great-grandmother hopping on her stick, Mousse, and Conditioner. Conditioner looked annoyed, as if she had been forced to come. Mousse looked a little out of it, as he always did when Shampoo was around. They settled themselves around the table silently, as if they had been invited.
"So," said Cologne, to break the silence. "You two have already met my older granddaughter, have you? She pointed at Ranma and Akane, who nodded mutely. "Heh-heh, she's the Queen of the Amazons! You should be honored! Don't wear such a long face," she added to Mousse, who was gazing sadly at Shampoo. "Conditioner won't allow him to touch Shampoo," she informed the Tendos.
No one knew what to say. The arrival had been much too sudden. Conditioner made no attempt to talk to any one of them. She simply ate her ramen without a glance to her companions. Shampoo was looking strange, as if she was in the presence of a god.
"So," said Conditioner to Akane. "I hear you've had problems with my sister, over that one." She indicated Ranma with a flick of her head, nothing more.
"Uh, yeah," said Akane. "She and I, um, fight often."
"Really," said Conditioner, gazing at Akane. "And what are you to him? Do you like him?"
Akane made an odd noise in her throat, and then she and Ranma spoke at the same time: "No, no! We're not…not together!"
"Ah," said Conditioner with a small smile. "Then why do you keep fighting Shampoo for him, if you aren't…'together'?"
Ranma blinked at her. Now that he thought about it…why did Akane fight Shampoo so much? He chanced a look at her, to see what she thought. Her face had an angry, set look to it.
"Because she's a nosy busybody and bothers us all the time!" snapped Akane.
The smile had gone from Conditioner's face. She stared at Akane as though she didn't quite believe what she had heard. "So…" she said slowly. "My sister is nosy…a busybody…and bothers everyone? Are you insulting her, you stick-thin, cowardly, pitiful excuse for a martial artist?" There was steel in her voice.
Akane rose, her face reddening. "Don't you dare say that to me!" she snarled, and threw her mug of tea at the cold face of Conditioner.
Like a flash, the Amazon's long ribbon sliced it neatly into two pieces. Then she jerked her hand, and it sped across the table to Akane. A quick flick, and Akane found her bangs shortened by an inch.
"Why do you hang around these thugs?" asked Conditioner to Shampoo. Then she got up and left.
Akane put a hand to her bangs in bewilderment. That girl had wanted to hurt her very badly; she had heard it in her voice and seen it in her eyes. Yet all Conditioner did was trim Akane's hair. What did it mean?
"Whoa," said Ranma, with grudging admiration in his tone. "That's some warrior."
"How can you say that?" growled Akane. "She only gave me a hair trim! That doesn't prove anything."
Soun shook his head. "No, my dear, you are wrong. That girl could have cut off your head with a flick of her wrist had she wanted to. But instead, she chose to show you just how good she was. For any other person, trimming someone's bangs with a ribbon would be an amazing feat. You don't even have a mark on your forehead, do you?" he asked shrewdly. "No, I thought not. She has remarkable control, that girl."
"Conditioner train by finest martial artists!" chimed Shampoo. "She no equal. She near god of ribbon-work! Great-Grandmother train by hand. Conditioner good enough beat Great-Grandmother!"
"Beat…that old hag?" gasped Ranma in amazement.
"Indeed," said Cologne, sipping her tea. "Conditioner is not an easy person to get along with. She is very proud of her skills—almost too proud, if you ask me. But she is very protective of Shampoo. I'd stay out of her way, if I was you!" she cackled to Akane. "Or she'll chop you into a hundred pieces. And don't try to get Shampoo while she's here," she told Mousse again.
Akane left and went to her room, fuming inwardly. That girl, that obnoxious, arrogant girl, oh, I'd love to beat her up… She looked up suddenly and found Ranma hanging upside down outside her window. "What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously.
Ranma shrugged. "Just to let you know, don't feel to down about Conditioner," he told her cheerfully. "I wouldn't worry about that if I were you." He smiled suddenly.
Akane stared. Is he offering to train me more…? I hope so.
"Since you've always lost to Shampoo before, stands to reason you're too weak to beat her sister!"
KAPOW.
"Ouch."
SPLASH.
"You!" yelled Conditioner, who magically appeared from nowhere. "I've heard about you! You beat my sister, and no one does that." She sliced out at Ranma's head.
"No!" called Shampoo. "You no hurt Ranma!" She raced to the pond and leaped in. "I save!"
"EEEAAARGGGG!!"
Akane sighed and watched the scene. Ranma-girl was running around, screaming, with Shampoo as a cat on her head, yowling at Conditioner, who was screaming Chinese obscenities while trying to slice off Ranma's head with her sword and not kill Shampoo at the same time.
"Just one more bit of chaos to this world," said Soun.
Cologne hopped up next to them on her stick. "Conditioner must learn more control," she said severely. "I am disappointed in her for losing her head like that. It is not benefiting for the Queen of the Amazons."
Akane blinked. "Queen of the Amazons?" she repeated. "B-but I thought…"
"You finally realized that," said Cologne with a sigh. "I've said that at least two times already. Anyhow, she was Queen before I left. But I wonder who's Queen now, since she's gone, and probably won't be back for a while."
Akane turned her attention back to the commotion in the garden and sighed. I hope she leaves soon…she's after both me and Ranma! We'll never get a moment's rest!
*~*~*~*~*
Soooo, how do you like it? Please tell me! E-mail me at dragongirl453@animefan.net!