1 Chapter 4: Solving Puzzles
"So what is this solution?" asked Nabiki. In her hand she held money that she'd gotten from the bets on who would win a fight, Akane or Conditioner. "But first of all, what's the problem?"
She, Soun, Kasumi, Ranma, Conditioner, Sasha, Shampoo, Akane, and Ryoga were all sitting around the table. Mousse was hiding in the bathroom, since Conditioner kept giving him looks of death.
"Shampoo and Conditioner want Ranma to marry Shampoo, and Conditioner wants to kill that weird red-haired girl we've seen," Sasha told her.
"Who's weird?" shot back Ranma, and got Akane's hand over his mouth so he wouldn't antagonize Conditioner any more than he had already. She looked pretty upset.
Soun sat quietly at the table. Only the thought of Conditioner and her friend kept him from running Ranma around the dojo fifty times. Why did this boy have to bring so much trouble on their heads?! Why couldn't he and Akane just marry and be done with it?
Shampoo and her sister sat next to each other, their backs stiff. "Ranma marry Shampoo," said Shampoo defiantly. "That is Chinese law."
"She's right," said Conditioner, equally stubborn. "Be a man and honor the law, Ranma." Her eyes bored holes into him.
Sasha sighed and rubbed her head. Stubborn Conditioner and Shampoo! It must run in the family, she decided, and got on with business. "There are two more fiancées of Ranma's," she pointed out.
Conditioner gave a scary grin. "Let me deal with them. Then there won't be any other fiancées to stand in Shampoo's way." Shampoo gave her sister an adoring look.
Oh brother. Sasha could see this would be a tough one. Shampoo or Conditioner alone was enough to make a donkey cry. The two of them together, agreeing forcefully on something, was downright dangerous. This town would be flattened if she didn't do something!
"Killing isn't everything," she said patiently. "Lots of things can be solved without bloodshed. Love and peace," she added, grinning. When she only got blank stares, she went on. "Besides, this place isn't home. If you killed someone, the police would probably be on your case, and then there would be all sorts of legal stuff and you might be taken to jail for murder…"
Akane, Ranma, and Ryoga looked at Conditioner. The girl didn't look happy at the mention of all the modern things. She had never thought of being arrested for killing someone. Killing was just something she did. It was her way of life.
"Ranma should still be a man and honor the law," she repeated. "The law says that if a man defeats a woman, she must marry him!"
"Yeah, and that law was written by a bunch of feminists!" snapped Ranma, unable to bear it anymore. "We read it, Conditioner, and everything is in your favor!"
"That way we can keep the Amazonian line strong!" Conditioner snapped back. "We want strong children, not crappy, weak kids. If you don't want to marry Shampoo, then are you really as strong as you act?"
Ryoga and Akane held Ranma firmly back as he fought to get over to Conditioner. Shampoo gazed into her big sister's eyes, glad she was here to help.
"What about that red-haired girl?" asked Conditioner finally after Ranma had calmed down enough to think. "The one who defeated Shampoo. Where is she? Is she too cowardly to fight me?"
Ryoga and Akane grabbed Ranma's shirt to keep him from leaping over the table at Conditioner. He hates it when people insult him that way! Akane thought as she beat Ranma into unconsciousness so he wouldn't make more trouble.
"That's easy enough to fix," Ryoga said as he and Akane pulled Ranma off to the side. "You know how Shampoo turns into a cat in cold water? Well, Ranma turns into a girl. The same red-haired girl you want to kill so badly."
Conditioner stared at him, her face purpling. Ryoga stared back, hoping he hadn't dug the hole they were in any deeper. Suddenly the girl started to laugh.
"Turns into a girl—oh my!" she gasped. "I knew there were some weird springs at Jusenkyo, but I never imagined a girl one! This is classic! Instant gender change!"
Sasha just looked at her, but the others at the table (excluding Ranma) looked nervous. "So…so you believe us?" asked Akane cautiously.
Conditioner snorted with laughter. "Believe you? Of course I believe you! Honestly! My own sister turns into a cat and I wouldn't believe her groom turns into a girl? Very well. I won't fight the red- head, since that would kill Shampoo's groom."
"Might not be such a bad thing," muttered Ryoga, and got smacked by Shampoo.
*~*~*~*~*
Think this isn't enough action? Just wait! Next chapter: the battle between Conditioner and Ranma!!
"So what is this solution?" asked Nabiki. In her hand she held money that she'd gotten from the bets on who would win a fight, Akane or Conditioner. "But first of all, what's the problem?"
She, Soun, Kasumi, Ranma, Conditioner, Sasha, Shampoo, Akane, and Ryoga were all sitting around the table. Mousse was hiding in the bathroom, since Conditioner kept giving him looks of death.
"Shampoo and Conditioner want Ranma to marry Shampoo, and Conditioner wants to kill that weird red-haired girl we've seen," Sasha told her.
"Who's weird?" shot back Ranma, and got Akane's hand over his mouth so he wouldn't antagonize Conditioner any more than he had already. She looked pretty upset.
Soun sat quietly at the table. Only the thought of Conditioner and her friend kept him from running Ranma around the dojo fifty times. Why did this boy have to bring so much trouble on their heads?! Why couldn't he and Akane just marry and be done with it?
Shampoo and her sister sat next to each other, their backs stiff. "Ranma marry Shampoo," said Shampoo defiantly. "That is Chinese law."
"She's right," said Conditioner, equally stubborn. "Be a man and honor the law, Ranma." Her eyes bored holes into him.
Sasha sighed and rubbed her head. Stubborn Conditioner and Shampoo! It must run in the family, she decided, and got on with business. "There are two more fiancées of Ranma's," she pointed out.
Conditioner gave a scary grin. "Let me deal with them. Then there won't be any other fiancées to stand in Shampoo's way." Shampoo gave her sister an adoring look.
Oh brother. Sasha could see this would be a tough one. Shampoo or Conditioner alone was enough to make a donkey cry. The two of them together, agreeing forcefully on something, was downright dangerous. This town would be flattened if she didn't do something!
"Killing isn't everything," she said patiently. "Lots of things can be solved without bloodshed. Love and peace," she added, grinning. When she only got blank stares, she went on. "Besides, this place isn't home. If you killed someone, the police would probably be on your case, and then there would be all sorts of legal stuff and you might be taken to jail for murder…"
Akane, Ranma, and Ryoga looked at Conditioner. The girl didn't look happy at the mention of all the modern things. She had never thought of being arrested for killing someone. Killing was just something she did. It was her way of life.
"Ranma should still be a man and honor the law," she repeated. "The law says that if a man defeats a woman, she must marry him!"
"Yeah, and that law was written by a bunch of feminists!" snapped Ranma, unable to bear it anymore. "We read it, Conditioner, and everything is in your favor!"
"That way we can keep the Amazonian line strong!" Conditioner snapped back. "We want strong children, not crappy, weak kids. If you don't want to marry Shampoo, then are you really as strong as you act?"
Ryoga and Akane held Ranma firmly back as he fought to get over to Conditioner. Shampoo gazed into her big sister's eyes, glad she was here to help.
"What about that red-haired girl?" asked Conditioner finally after Ranma had calmed down enough to think. "The one who defeated Shampoo. Where is she? Is she too cowardly to fight me?"
Ryoga and Akane grabbed Ranma's shirt to keep him from leaping over the table at Conditioner. He hates it when people insult him that way! Akane thought as she beat Ranma into unconsciousness so he wouldn't make more trouble.
"That's easy enough to fix," Ryoga said as he and Akane pulled Ranma off to the side. "You know how Shampoo turns into a cat in cold water? Well, Ranma turns into a girl. The same red-haired girl you want to kill so badly."
Conditioner stared at him, her face purpling. Ryoga stared back, hoping he hadn't dug the hole they were in any deeper. Suddenly the girl started to laugh.
"Turns into a girl—oh my!" she gasped. "I knew there were some weird springs at Jusenkyo, but I never imagined a girl one! This is classic! Instant gender change!"
Sasha just looked at her, but the others at the table (excluding Ranma) looked nervous. "So…so you believe us?" asked Akane cautiously.
Conditioner snorted with laughter. "Believe you? Of course I believe you! Honestly! My own sister turns into a cat and I wouldn't believe her groom turns into a girl? Very well. I won't fight the red- head, since that would kill Shampoo's groom."
"Might not be such a bad thing," muttered Ryoga, and got smacked by Shampoo.
*~*~*~*~*
Think this isn't enough action? Just wait! Next chapter: the battle between Conditioner and Ranma!!