The True Story Of Final Fantasy Disc 3
Well This is the first fan fiction I have ever written so don't be suprised if It is bad. Well anyways for all those Otakus out there, do not get pissed at the severe beating that cloud receives due to his love for anime, its just based on me since my friends have a habit of punching me when I talk about anime. They don't exactly like anime as much as me*thinks for a secong then rubs his arm*. Whatever, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoy this
Disclaimer:I own nothing in this fanfiction,absolutely nothing. I wish I owned the cast of final fantasy 7 so that I could pit them into battles all day long but I don't. I do however own Phoenix and all the magic that he cast so don't copy me without asking me first. If you do, I will be forced to turn into a werewolf and hunt you down, feasting on your intestines and yes I do have a therapist
* The gang of final fantasy 7 is riding around in the airship when all of a sudden, Cid passes out at the wheel and drives the highwind dead into the ruby weapon*
Everybody except Cloud:Oh fuck...this isn't going to be fun.
Cloud: OH MY GOD! Its Epyon(cloud screams as he points at the ruby weapon in terror)
Rufus: No you dumb shit , its the ruby weapon.
Tifa: Hey since when were you with us Rufus.
Rufus: I don't know... author just likes me.
Ruby Weapon: Excuse me but you rode your airship right into my head...you think im going to just let that go.
Vincent: NO! We don't want to fight you so shut the fuck up(summons Knights Of The Round) That'll shut him up.
Barret: Hey. Since when did we have Knights of the Round. Don't we have to go through that pain stakingly long chocobo shit in order to get it.
Rufus:Author.
Barret: Gotta respect the author.
Cloud: Ohhh man. I wanted Eypon's autograph(tears well up in his eyes)
* Rufus aims his shotgun right at Cloud's head*
Rufus: If you say another thing about Gundam Wing, Im going to blow your brains out... GOT IT.
Cloud:*sniff sniff* I got it.
*Knights of the round ends and to everybody's surprise Ruby Weapon is Dead*
Yuffie: I don't remember Ruby Weapon ever being that easy(points to a coffin with the name of Vincent on it)
Vincent: YOu DUMB ASS ,WE NEVER FOUGHT RUBY WEAPON BEFORE! I just sleep in a coffin...remember! I am a vampire....thats what vampires do.
Yuffie: OH MY GOD! Somebody killed Vincent.
* Vincent gets up and smashes the handle of his gun on to Yuffie's Head*
Red XIII: Um excuse me. Shouldn't we check to see if Cid is alright. I mean he is passed out for christ sake.
*Cloud looks at Red XIII and starts to smile*
Clouds: Its a new pokemon, I have to catch it.
Red XIII: How many times must we go through this Cloud. I AM NOT A POKEMON.
Cloud: It is getting hostile. Looks like im going to have to weaken it.
*throws a red materia on the ground and it cracks*
Cloud: Go Hades.
*nothing happens*
Barret and Rufus: You Dumb Shit.
Tifa: You broke Hades. THAT WAS MY MATERIA!!!
*Cloud starts to back away as Tifa walk towards him*
Tifa: I AM SOOOOO GOING TO KILL YOU.
Rufus whispers to Barret & Vincent: Looks like somebody is pmsing
Barret & Vincent: HAHAHAHA
*Tifa turns her head to the three guys rolling on the floor*
Tifa: You know...I heard that.
*Barret, Vincent, and Rufus stop rolling around as their eyes widen*
Tifa: LIMIT BREAK
*Cid wakes up*
Cid: Man that was some party last night. Oh fuck, looks like somebody is in trouble.
* Tifa Performs her final limit break on Cloud,Barret, Rufus, and Vincent, switching from one person to the next after each a martial move*
Cid: That's gotta hurt(scratchs his balls)
Cait Sith: HEY THE AUTHOR FORGOT ABOUT ME.
Rufus: Well that's not that hard. Everybody forgets about you.
Cid: Hey, I thought you got hit with Tifa's Limit Break.
Rufus: I did. The author likes me so he used a phoenix down on me
Barret, Vincent, and Cloud: No fair.
Tifa:Umm I'm Horny. Who wants to fuck me.
*Barret,Vincent, and Cloud all try to get up but they can't. Cid looks at her for a second and slumps back on the wheel. Rufus laughs as he heads over to Tifa*
Rufus: Hell yes, I Really like the author.
Cait Sith: WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Rufus: Your a stupid doll, remember. Your real body is over in Midgar
*a door opens up to reveal Reeve, as Cait Sith's body goes limp*
Reeve: HAHAHA Nope. I'm right here.
Tifa: To bad I'm still screwing Rufus.
*Reeve Sighs*
Yuffie: You know Reeve, Im kinda horny too.
*Reeve jumps off the airship and Rufus throws Cait Sith off*
Yuffie: Hey that wasn't nice. Im not that ugly.
Rufus: Probably not. I suppose the author just doesn't like you.
Yuffie: Fuck the author.
Red XIII: That wasn't smart. The author has the power to do anything he wants.
* from out of nowhere, shadow flare is cast on Yuffie*
Red XIII: SEE. I TOLD YOU SO.
Tifa: Well, Rufus lets go. I am sure that the Chocobo Stables are empty.
*Rufus grins at the other characters as he walks off with Tifa*
Cloud: Hey Tifa, I thought i was your boy friend. Tifa, Tifa, TIFA. Hey wait...I never got laid by you before.
Barret: You never really counted as her boyfriend. I was more of a boyfriend to her then you were, If you get what I mean.
Cloud: WHAT?!
Yuffie: Hell,even I got some from her.
Vincent and Cid: ME TOO.
*Cloud looks around*
Cloud: Well at least she didn't have sex with Red XIII.
Red XIII: UMMMMMMM, I never said that.
EVERYBODY ELSE: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THAT'S GROSS
Cloud: Wow, Im depressed. Well at least I got some from Aeris. I wish she wasn't dead.
Barret:Ummmm, Cloud you do know we hired Sephiroth to kill h...
*Vincent and Yuffie cover Barret's Mouth*
Vincent and Yuffie: He doesn't need to know that.
Cloud: I don't need to know what?
Yuffie: Ok fine....Sephiroth killed Santa.
*Vincent hits Yuffie in the head with his gun again*
Vincent: That was the dumbest thing ever.
*Clouds eyes start to water*
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOT SANTA CLAUSE. SEPHIROTH MUST DIE NOW.
Vincent whispers to Barret, Cid, and Red XIII: What do you know. It worked.
Vincent:....Sorry Yuffie.
*Yuffie pulls out a bazooka*
Yuffie: SORRY....I'LL SHOW YOU SORRY.
*Vincent runs away, with Yuffie following*
Red XIII: GOD DAMMIT...They really have to stop fighting with each other.
* Airships starts to rumble*
Cid: Either Rufus and Tifa are having A LOT of fun or I think Yuffie missed Vincent with the Bazooka.
Barret: Considering all the smoke, I think Yuffie hit the engine.
Everybody: THE ENGINE!!!!!!!!
* The Airship crashes into the ocean*
Red XIII: WELL thats not good.
Cid: I think this is the end of chapter.
Well I really hope you enjoyed the fanfiction. I will probably post the next chapter up soon.
DON'T FORGOT TO REVIEW,review, review,review. If you don't review I will be forced to use hypnotic measures and nobody needs that so, REVIEW
Well This is the first fan fiction I have ever written so don't be suprised if It is bad. Well anyways for all those Otakus out there, do not get pissed at the severe beating that cloud receives due to his love for anime, its just based on me since my friends have a habit of punching me when I talk about anime. They don't exactly like anime as much as me*thinks for a secong then rubs his arm*. Whatever, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoy this
Disclaimer:I own nothing in this fanfiction,absolutely nothing. I wish I owned the cast of final fantasy 7 so that I could pit them into battles all day long but I don't. I do however own Phoenix and all the magic that he cast so don't copy me without asking me first. If you do, I will be forced to turn into a werewolf and hunt you down, feasting on your intestines and yes I do have a therapist
* The gang of final fantasy 7 is riding around in the airship when all of a sudden, Cid passes out at the wheel and drives the highwind dead into the ruby weapon*
Everybody except Cloud:Oh fuck...this isn't going to be fun.
Cloud: OH MY GOD! Its Epyon(cloud screams as he points at the ruby weapon in terror)
Rufus: No you dumb shit , its the ruby weapon.
Tifa: Hey since when were you with us Rufus.
Rufus: I don't know... author just likes me.
Ruby Weapon: Excuse me but you rode your airship right into my head...you think im going to just let that go.
Vincent: NO! We don't want to fight you so shut the fuck up(summons Knights Of The Round) That'll shut him up.
Barret: Hey. Since when did we have Knights of the Round. Don't we have to go through that pain stakingly long chocobo shit in order to get it.
Rufus:Author.
Barret: Gotta respect the author.
Cloud: Ohhh man. I wanted Eypon's autograph(tears well up in his eyes)
* Rufus aims his shotgun right at Cloud's head*
Rufus: If you say another thing about Gundam Wing, Im going to blow your brains out... GOT IT.
Cloud:*sniff sniff* I got it.
*Knights of the round ends and to everybody's surprise Ruby Weapon is Dead*
Yuffie: I don't remember Ruby Weapon ever being that easy(points to a coffin with the name of Vincent on it)
Vincent: YOu DUMB ASS ,WE NEVER FOUGHT RUBY WEAPON BEFORE! I just sleep in a coffin...remember! I am a vampire....thats what vampires do.
Yuffie: OH MY GOD! Somebody killed Vincent.
* Vincent gets up and smashes the handle of his gun on to Yuffie's Head*
Red XIII: Um excuse me. Shouldn't we check to see if Cid is alright. I mean he is passed out for christ sake.
*Cloud looks at Red XIII and starts to smile*
Clouds: Its a new pokemon, I have to catch it.
Red XIII: How many times must we go through this Cloud. I AM NOT A POKEMON.
Cloud: It is getting hostile. Looks like im going to have to weaken it.
*throws a red materia on the ground and it cracks*
Cloud: Go Hades.
*nothing happens*
Barret and Rufus: You Dumb Shit.
Tifa: You broke Hades. THAT WAS MY MATERIA!!!
*Cloud starts to back away as Tifa walk towards him*
Tifa: I AM SOOOOO GOING TO KILL YOU.
Rufus whispers to Barret & Vincent: Looks like somebody is pmsing
Barret & Vincent: HAHAHAHA
*Tifa turns her head to the three guys rolling on the floor*
Tifa: You know...I heard that.
*Barret, Vincent, and Rufus stop rolling around as their eyes widen*
Tifa: LIMIT BREAK
*Cid wakes up*
Cid: Man that was some party last night. Oh fuck, looks like somebody is in trouble.
* Tifa Performs her final limit break on Cloud,Barret, Rufus, and Vincent, switching from one person to the next after each a martial move*
Cid: That's gotta hurt(scratchs his balls)
Cait Sith: HEY THE AUTHOR FORGOT ABOUT ME.
Rufus: Well that's not that hard. Everybody forgets about you.
Cid: Hey, I thought you got hit with Tifa's Limit Break.
Rufus: I did. The author likes me so he used a phoenix down on me
Barret, Vincent, and Cloud: No fair.
Tifa:Umm I'm Horny. Who wants to fuck me.
*Barret,Vincent, and Cloud all try to get up but they can't. Cid looks at her for a second and slumps back on the wheel. Rufus laughs as he heads over to Tifa*
Rufus: Hell yes, I Really like the author.
Cait Sith: WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Rufus: Your a stupid doll, remember. Your real body is over in Midgar
*a door opens up to reveal Reeve, as Cait Sith's body goes limp*
Reeve: HAHAHA Nope. I'm right here.
Tifa: To bad I'm still screwing Rufus.
*Reeve Sighs*
Yuffie: You know Reeve, Im kinda horny too.
*Reeve jumps off the airship and Rufus throws Cait Sith off*
Yuffie: Hey that wasn't nice. Im not that ugly.
Rufus: Probably not. I suppose the author just doesn't like you.
Yuffie: Fuck the author.
Red XIII: That wasn't smart. The author has the power to do anything he wants.
* from out of nowhere, shadow flare is cast on Yuffie*
Red XIII: SEE. I TOLD YOU SO.
Tifa: Well, Rufus lets go. I am sure that the Chocobo Stables are empty.
*Rufus grins at the other characters as he walks off with Tifa*
Cloud: Hey Tifa, I thought i was your boy friend. Tifa, Tifa, TIFA. Hey wait...I never got laid by you before.
Barret: You never really counted as her boyfriend. I was more of a boyfriend to her then you were, If you get what I mean.
Cloud: WHAT?!
Yuffie: Hell,even I got some from her.
Vincent and Cid: ME TOO.
*Cloud looks around*
Cloud: Well at least she didn't have sex with Red XIII.
Red XIII: UMMMMMMM, I never said that.
EVERYBODY ELSE: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THAT'S GROSS
Cloud: Wow, Im depressed. Well at least I got some from Aeris. I wish she wasn't dead.
Barret:Ummmm, Cloud you do know we hired Sephiroth to kill h...
*Vincent and Yuffie cover Barret's Mouth*
Vincent and Yuffie: He doesn't need to know that.
Cloud: I don't need to know what?
Yuffie: Ok fine....Sephiroth killed Santa.
*Vincent hits Yuffie in the head with his gun again*
Vincent: That was the dumbest thing ever.
*Clouds eyes start to water*
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOT SANTA CLAUSE. SEPHIROTH MUST DIE NOW.
Vincent whispers to Barret, Cid, and Red XIII: What do you know. It worked.
Vincent:....Sorry Yuffie.
*Yuffie pulls out a bazooka*
Yuffie: SORRY....I'LL SHOW YOU SORRY.
*Vincent runs away, with Yuffie following*
Red XIII: GOD DAMMIT...They really have to stop fighting with each other.
* Airships starts to rumble*
Cid: Either Rufus and Tifa are having A LOT of fun or I think Yuffie missed Vincent with the Bazooka.
Barret: Considering all the smoke, I think Yuffie hit the engine.
Everybody: THE ENGINE!!!!!!!!
* The Airship crashes into the ocean*
Red XIII: WELL thats not good.
Cid: I think this is the end of chapter.
Well I really hope you enjoyed the fanfiction. I will probably post the next chapter up soon.
DON'T FORGOT TO REVIEW,review, review,review. If you don't review I will be forced to use hypnotic measures and nobody needs that so, REVIEW