Chapter 10: The escape from Upside Down land
Spiderman had let them down at the entrance of some house. He hadn't explained anything, and Monica and Harry were in total confusion. The only thing left to do, besides hiding from the scary-looking homophobian frogs with purple hair sprouting from their nostrils, was to get inside the strange looking house.
"C'mon Harry, let's go in, I don't like those freak frogs" said Monica as she tugged his shirt sleeve, and pulled him aside.
"Those frogs are weird! Roar! Great cheese comes from happy cows; happy cows come from California" said Harry stupidly as he followed her in.
They forced open the door, as Harry murmured "Chevy; like a rock" numbly. They stepped inside to a grubby looking lobby, with no furniture, alike the whole house. They stepped inside and looked everywhere for some human sign, but found nothing. By now Harry was exclaiming like crazy "WHERE'S THE CREAM FILLING??", and it was driving Monica berserk.
Finally they reached the main living room upstairs, after walking through a maze-like house. In that room, there was a lonely looking painting; an abstract painting. It had wild lines of purplish colour and black and white. Then, at a corner there was a single blind-yellow circle drawn there. Harry went towards it and stared. He said "Bet you can't eat just one", and finally Monica got out some tape and taped his mouth shut.
Monica looked at the painting too, and then a swirl of colours wrapped them and she heard some screams and then nothingness.
The gang of clowns was inside their cell yet again, all wondering where Spiderman had taken Monica and Harry. Finally Tobey said "well, I just hope she hasn't fallen in love with him!" as he tried not to picture it.
"Well, at least their necks are where they are supposed to be! That's a start!" said Kat, happily, as she sat down and started making faces to Tyler, who was making faces back.
"Well, if I hadn't been tied down, I would've done the same thing, except I would have stopped for some photo shoots" said Jade, as he shook his hair. Hermione and Chrissie looked at each other while they pitied his stupidity, and Katy was talking normally to Eric, who looked less scared than before, and actually spoke back.
"Well, I would've liked to be saved by Spiderman so I could meet all those girls that hang around him like cheese spiders" said Ron, looking envious once again, and he sucked his thumb.
"Agh shut up Ron, you evil midget!" cried Grace, and she slapped Ron on his head, leaving a red mark on it. Ron kept on snoozing away.
Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Chrissie stood up and raised a closed hand in the air and said proudly "Friends, we have to do something to help those out there in great need! We have the power! Ladies, we're women, we're powerful, we're invincible, hear us roar" and she jerked her head to a side and said "ñeck!". She continued "and boys, you're drool-able and stupid, but sometimes you can be strong, and miraculously, smart! Let's unite our forces and fight against unfairness!!" and she put her hand down, and looked down. Then Hermione asked uncertainly "Chrissie, dear, are you feeling okay?" and Chrissie answered "I've been saving that speech since I was 5, but answering your question, no" and she sat down.
A walking cube came in and told them that they were to be taken out to be shot at, like hanging hams from ceilings. They all freaked out, but they followed him out shivering.
Hinky the Slurpy the 567th was standing on a platform, and he was ready to give another stupid speech.
"People of the Upside down land! Now that foul scubbus of Spiderman is somewhere else taking care of those two midgets, so he shall not be able to save these" and he pointed at our friends "things with pneumonia, so I am making them perish like hams hanging from the ceiling!" and he awaited the laughs from the viewers; but they didn't get the joke.
"Er, ahem, well, here they are!" and he signaled the walking cubes to put them in ready position, while some strange looking creatures (c.d. cases dressed as camels with dust guns) got ready to fire at them.
"Man, now is when we need Spiderman!!" cried Jade, shivering and almost crying
"Didn't you say you'd saves us? Now you're not tied, go on save us!" mocked Tyler, also shivering.
The c.d. cases took up their guns, and our friends were turned around. Suddenly, there was a misty curtain of shoes, and Sara the Genie appeared, hugging something at her side. She jerked Eminem towards Hinky the Slurpy and she did some magic that covered our friends in purple syrup. The c.d. cases were dumbstruck and Hinky the Slurpy was just amazed. Eminem stood up, shook himself and looked around.
"Now where the f___ am I? I don't give a s____ to who you all are but why the h___ am I here?" and he looked around some more.
"Hi Em' dear, remember how my dentist was your dentist as well, and I asked him if I could borrow you for a sec? Well, can you like beat the hell outta this stupid crab while I save my friends?" Sara asked hopefully.
"Um, sure why the heck not, but I'ma gonna sing my new song cause I don't give a s____ if none of yo all hate me or not; my songs are cool, and I hope yo all listen to 'em, cause I said so, yo" and he jumped wildly on Hinky and started beating the hell outta him.
Spiderman came back to the house, and had a wild feeling that Harry and Monica had found the abstract painting. So he wildly went upstairs and reached the painting in a sec. He stared at it, and thought. Then, he hear a calling; he listened sharply, and he hear it again. He got closer and he made out the words: "can you say Ross Swiss without smiling?". He thought "who would be stupid enough to say that instead of help?". Then he heard another call; a different, more normal, clear, and sensible one: "Help us, we're trapped!!" It had to be Monica.
He called back "how do I get in?" and awaited for an answer.
"Get closer and look at the yellow sphere!" faintly answered Monica. Spiderman got closer and concentrated on the yellow sphere. Swirls of colours wrapped around him, and he heard Harry say "It's gotta be the haircut" and then someone grabbed his arm and he fell on the floor. Monica was crouching next to him, and Harry had attached himself to his leg, and was whispering in Taliban madly.
He got up, difficulty for Harry was attached to him, and Monica, realizing this, detached Harry from him, and he curled up on her arms. Spiderman said
"wow, wow where exactly are we? I don't remember fighting any abstract painting before and I have no experience, so…yeah." And he crossed his strong arms.
"Now, where I the world do you know us from?" Monica asked giving Spiderman a testing look.
"Er, from….no-where, um, I was just passing by, you know…" and he looked around.
"Hi Jason" she said, and smiled
Spiderman, I mean Jason, looked at her, and hesitated, not knowing what to say.
"It's okay, I ain't gonna tell no one, you know? It's pretty cool you're Spiderman! I knew that you were an Asian hero, but this is major heroism!" and she grinned.
"O" he said. "Well…yeah, um, well how do we get out of here?" he asked, politely puzzled.
"Well…lemme see" and she took out her wand. "Um…no one taught us how to get out of abstract paintings before…" and she thought.
Suddenly Harry woke up and said wildly "I know, I know!! To get out you need to pick the right line from the right to bottom, and tickle it, while you sway it about, and then put it back on the left bottom line of the left right corner of the top left hand!!" and he fell asleep again.
Monica and Spiderman looked at each other in pure amazement. They hadn't got anything from the message, so they shook Harry about 'til he did it himself. Then he wailed and fell asleep on Monica's arms. The swirl of colours wrapped them again, and they found themselves sitting on the living room floor.
"We better get on to find your friends, and get out of here before we get caught again!" and Spiderman jerked Monica and Harry, and took off.
"…So the SCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see, they plan on shuttin' me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me…!" Eminem sang while he punched Hinky on his left eye and he wailed. Our friends were still gluey from the purple syrup, but they could see Spiderman flying towards them, with Monica and Harry safely next to them.
When he landed next to them, Tobey jumped to get Monica, while everyone went fast towards them and hugged them.
Eminem stopped beating Hinky, who looked dead, and he tossed him about. He stood up, shook himself, and went towards Spiderman.
"Man, you're da man! I loved your movie! that was a tight movie! I don't give no s___ to those who said it was "too computerized" man, I thought it was the best f____ movie ever" and he hugged Spiderman. Spiderman looked totally confused, but thanked him anyhow.
Eric and Tobey and seized Hinky the Slurpy and they were holding him about. They said:
"Well, we don't know how to thank you for your help, now we can rule this land without this thing walking about! Katy, will you live with me when you're out of Hogwarts?" asked Eric, to Katy, who look as if she was about to faint.
"Damn it, I will get outta there!! I'm sooooo living with ya hon!" and she jumped on his arms.
"Monica, I can't let you go away, but you probably will want to get to Hogwarts, so I decided to enroll myself there, and be with you!" Tobey said, and Monica jumped on his arms, but she jerked away and then went and hugged Eminem.
"OMIGOSH I LOVE YOU WILL YOU SING MY BELLY??" she screamed
"Yeah whatever" and he signed a piece of paper, since he didn't sing bellies.
"THANK YOU SO MUCH MR. MATHERS!!! I MEAN EMINEM!!!" and then she jumped on Tobey's arms.
"Well, we better be off now" said Hermione talking to Sara
"Ow this was fun!" said Chrissie, and she added "roar"
"Power to the Mozambequion Mafia!" cheered Tyler and Ron together, as Jade sighed.
"Sara, do your thing" Katy told Sara, as she hugged Eric and bade everyone goodbye.
"Katy, I'm so gonna miss you!" Kat told her almost in tears, and then everyone hugged her.
Jade looked at Eminem, and Eminem hit him over the head with his microphone, and Jade squeaked.
"This is what a f___ family should be like'a, not like my f___ family. Man I miss Hailei, Sara do your thang now or I'm gonna be f____ mad!" ordered Eminem.
Everyone stopped hugging Katy and Eric, and stepped around Sara. She waved her smelly wand, and then, they all disappeared behind a curtain of misty shoes.
Spiderman had let them down at the entrance of some house. He hadn't explained anything, and Monica and Harry were in total confusion. The only thing left to do, besides hiding from the scary-looking homophobian frogs with purple hair sprouting from their nostrils, was to get inside the strange looking house.
"C'mon Harry, let's go in, I don't like those freak frogs" said Monica as she tugged his shirt sleeve, and pulled him aside.
"Those frogs are weird! Roar! Great cheese comes from happy cows; happy cows come from California" said Harry stupidly as he followed her in.
They forced open the door, as Harry murmured "Chevy; like a rock" numbly. They stepped inside to a grubby looking lobby, with no furniture, alike the whole house. They stepped inside and looked everywhere for some human sign, but found nothing. By now Harry was exclaiming like crazy "WHERE'S THE CREAM FILLING??", and it was driving Monica berserk.
Finally they reached the main living room upstairs, after walking through a maze-like house. In that room, there was a lonely looking painting; an abstract painting. It had wild lines of purplish colour and black and white. Then, at a corner there was a single blind-yellow circle drawn there. Harry went towards it and stared. He said "Bet you can't eat just one", and finally Monica got out some tape and taped his mouth shut.
Monica looked at the painting too, and then a swirl of colours wrapped them and she heard some screams and then nothingness.
The gang of clowns was inside their cell yet again, all wondering where Spiderman had taken Monica and Harry. Finally Tobey said "well, I just hope she hasn't fallen in love with him!" as he tried not to picture it.
"Well, at least their necks are where they are supposed to be! That's a start!" said Kat, happily, as she sat down and started making faces to Tyler, who was making faces back.
"Well, if I hadn't been tied down, I would've done the same thing, except I would have stopped for some photo shoots" said Jade, as he shook his hair. Hermione and Chrissie looked at each other while they pitied his stupidity, and Katy was talking normally to Eric, who looked less scared than before, and actually spoke back.
"Well, I would've liked to be saved by Spiderman so I could meet all those girls that hang around him like cheese spiders" said Ron, looking envious once again, and he sucked his thumb.
"Agh shut up Ron, you evil midget!" cried Grace, and she slapped Ron on his head, leaving a red mark on it. Ron kept on snoozing away.
Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Chrissie stood up and raised a closed hand in the air and said proudly "Friends, we have to do something to help those out there in great need! We have the power! Ladies, we're women, we're powerful, we're invincible, hear us roar" and she jerked her head to a side and said "ñeck!". She continued "and boys, you're drool-able and stupid, but sometimes you can be strong, and miraculously, smart! Let's unite our forces and fight against unfairness!!" and she put her hand down, and looked down. Then Hermione asked uncertainly "Chrissie, dear, are you feeling okay?" and Chrissie answered "I've been saving that speech since I was 5, but answering your question, no" and she sat down.
A walking cube came in and told them that they were to be taken out to be shot at, like hanging hams from ceilings. They all freaked out, but they followed him out shivering.
Hinky the Slurpy the 567th was standing on a platform, and he was ready to give another stupid speech.
"People of the Upside down land! Now that foul scubbus of Spiderman is somewhere else taking care of those two midgets, so he shall not be able to save these" and he pointed at our friends "things with pneumonia, so I am making them perish like hams hanging from the ceiling!" and he awaited the laughs from the viewers; but they didn't get the joke.
"Er, ahem, well, here they are!" and he signaled the walking cubes to put them in ready position, while some strange looking creatures (c.d. cases dressed as camels with dust guns) got ready to fire at them.
"Man, now is when we need Spiderman!!" cried Jade, shivering and almost crying
"Didn't you say you'd saves us? Now you're not tied, go on save us!" mocked Tyler, also shivering.
The c.d. cases took up their guns, and our friends were turned around. Suddenly, there was a misty curtain of shoes, and Sara the Genie appeared, hugging something at her side. She jerked Eminem towards Hinky the Slurpy and she did some magic that covered our friends in purple syrup. The c.d. cases were dumbstruck and Hinky the Slurpy was just amazed. Eminem stood up, shook himself and looked around.
"Now where the f___ am I? I don't give a s____ to who you all are but why the h___ am I here?" and he looked around some more.
"Hi Em' dear, remember how my dentist was your dentist as well, and I asked him if I could borrow you for a sec? Well, can you like beat the hell outta this stupid crab while I save my friends?" Sara asked hopefully.
"Um, sure why the heck not, but I'ma gonna sing my new song cause I don't give a s____ if none of yo all hate me or not; my songs are cool, and I hope yo all listen to 'em, cause I said so, yo" and he jumped wildly on Hinky and started beating the hell outta him.
Spiderman came back to the house, and had a wild feeling that Harry and Monica had found the abstract painting. So he wildly went upstairs and reached the painting in a sec. He stared at it, and thought. Then, he hear a calling; he listened sharply, and he hear it again. He got closer and he made out the words: "can you say Ross Swiss without smiling?". He thought "who would be stupid enough to say that instead of help?". Then he heard another call; a different, more normal, clear, and sensible one: "Help us, we're trapped!!" It had to be Monica.
He called back "how do I get in?" and awaited for an answer.
"Get closer and look at the yellow sphere!" faintly answered Monica. Spiderman got closer and concentrated on the yellow sphere. Swirls of colours wrapped around him, and he heard Harry say "It's gotta be the haircut" and then someone grabbed his arm and he fell on the floor. Monica was crouching next to him, and Harry had attached himself to his leg, and was whispering in Taliban madly.
He got up, difficulty for Harry was attached to him, and Monica, realizing this, detached Harry from him, and he curled up on her arms. Spiderman said
"wow, wow where exactly are we? I don't remember fighting any abstract painting before and I have no experience, so…yeah." And he crossed his strong arms.
"Now, where I the world do you know us from?" Monica asked giving Spiderman a testing look.
"Er, from….no-where, um, I was just passing by, you know…" and he looked around.
"Hi Jason" she said, and smiled
Spiderman, I mean Jason, looked at her, and hesitated, not knowing what to say.
"It's okay, I ain't gonna tell no one, you know? It's pretty cool you're Spiderman! I knew that you were an Asian hero, but this is major heroism!" and she grinned.
"O" he said. "Well…yeah, um, well how do we get out of here?" he asked, politely puzzled.
"Well…lemme see" and she took out her wand. "Um…no one taught us how to get out of abstract paintings before…" and she thought.
Suddenly Harry woke up and said wildly "I know, I know!! To get out you need to pick the right line from the right to bottom, and tickle it, while you sway it about, and then put it back on the left bottom line of the left right corner of the top left hand!!" and he fell asleep again.
Monica and Spiderman looked at each other in pure amazement. They hadn't got anything from the message, so they shook Harry about 'til he did it himself. Then he wailed and fell asleep on Monica's arms. The swirl of colours wrapped them again, and they found themselves sitting on the living room floor.
"We better get on to find your friends, and get out of here before we get caught again!" and Spiderman jerked Monica and Harry, and took off.
"…So the SCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see, they plan on shuttin' me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me…!" Eminem sang while he punched Hinky on his left eye and he wailed. Our friends were still gluey from the purple syrup, but they could see Spiderman flying towards them, with Monica and Harry safely next to them.
When he landed next to them, Tobey jumped to get Monica, while everyone went fast towards them and hugged them.
Eminem stopped beating Hinky, who looked dead, and he tossed him about. He stood up, shook himself, and went towards Spiderman.
"Man, you're da man! I loved your movie! that was a tight movie! I don't give no s___ to those who said it was "too computerized" man, I thought it was the best f____ movie ever" and he hugged Spiderman. Spiderman looked totally confused, but thanked him anyhow.
Eric and Tobey and seized Hinky the Slurpy and they were holding him about. They said:
"Well, we don't know how to thank you for your help, now we can rule this land without this thing walking about! Katy, will you live with me when you're out of Hogwarts?" asked Eric, to Katy, who look as if she was about to faint.
"Damn it, I will get outta there!! I'm sooooo living with ya hon!" and she jumped on his arms.
"Monica, I can't let you go away, but you probably will want to get to Hogwarts, so I decided to enroll myself there, and be with you!" Tobey said, and Monica jumped on his arms, but she jerked away and then went and hugged Eminem.
"OMIGOSH I LOVE YOU WILL YOU SING MY BELLY??" she screamed
"Yeah whatever" and he signed a piece of paper, since he didn't sing bellies.
"THANK YOU SO MUCH MR. MATHERS!!! I MEAN EMINEM!!!" and then she jumped on Tobey's arms.
"Well, we better be off now" said Hermione talking to Sara
"Ow this was fun!" said Chrissie, and she added "roar"
"Power to the Mozambequion Mafia!" cheered Tyler and Ron together, as Jade sighed.
"Sara, do your thing" Katy told Sara, as she hugged Eric and bade everyone goodbye.
"Katy, I'm so gonna miss you!" Kat told her almost in tears, and then everyone hugged her.
Jade looked at Eminem, and Eminem hit him over the head with his microphone, and Jade squeaked.
"This is what a f___ family should be like'a, not like my f___ family. Man I miss Hailei, Sara do your thang now or I'm gonna be f____ mad!" ordered Eminem.
Everyone stopped hugging Katy and Eric, and stepped around Sara. She waved her smelly wand, and then, they all disappeared behind a curtain of misty shoes.