The Yaoi Gospel

Chapter 5: Resolution?

A DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka

A/N: THE LAST CHAP! YAAAAAAY! *g* -Rivka

Lunch was ogling the doojinshi, sneezing every few pages, turning into Kushami and threatening to shoot Bulma with her handgun and making NC-17-rated comments about the situations Trunks and Goten were in.

#18 came in, panties in hand. "What's with you two? Over some stupid book."

"Well, she can't help it, she changes when she sneezes!"

"I DO NOT!" yelled Kushami. "Now get your punk blue-haired ass against the wall! NOW!" She pressed the handgun into Bulma's head.

"Juu-Juuhachigoo-san, do you have s-some pepper?" asked Bulma nervously.

"On the table." She threw it to Bulma, and Kushami sneezed.

"Oh, oh my…what am I doing with a gun to your head? I'm sorry, Bulma-san!" Lunch blushed. "Now back to the story- it's sooo cute!" She dropped the gun and began to read.

But the three women were caught off guard by a strange presence forming in their kitchen.

Not a millisecond later, there stood Kaiobit and Roo-Dai Kaiooshin in the middle of the Kame House kitchen.

Kaiobit just stood there, head hanging low and blushing.

"C'mon, there, young'un, we ain't got all day! Apologize to these ladies fer whatcha did!"

"I-I- I didn't do it!" Kaiobit's tone changed from a whimper into a roar. "You decided to go through Kibito's…or is it MY… old stash!"

"Welp, I should've earlier. Wanted to get rid of that perved homo crap layin' around this planet." Roo-Dai crossed his arms. "First them sicko comic books ya found in an alternate Universe, then this Walt Whitman fella. Heh…kids these days…gone to the dogs…"

Kaiobit scowled. "You had no right to empty that stash! Maybe I should go empty YOUR stash!"

But Roo-Dai wasn't listening, as he was trying to grab a pair of #18's panties.

But she punched him in the face. "Argghhh…you old men are soo much alike, it's not even funny!"

As she walked back to her laundry, Roo-Dai yelled, "Aw, c'mon, ya old twat, gimme yer panties! I'll pay ya!"

"Not a chance in hell," Juuhachi yelled from the laundry room.

"So…what's this about a 'stash'?" asked Bulma.

Kaiobit thought for a moment. "Before we were fused, Kibito enjoyed collecting…well…male/male literature. He used to share it with me before we…aww, man, I probably said too much." He stared down and blushed.

"Now, ya idiot, the Universe's goin' to get yer ass!"

"You should be the one to talk, Elder!" Kaiobit cleared his throat. "Now, the trash cans on Kaiooshin-kai all have a portal leading to a part of the planet Earth. The one the Elder used led to the space below your bed, Bulma-san, or so I understand."

"I see. Impressive" Bulma sighed.

"So, can I have my doojinshi back now?"

"Hell no, sonny! I don't want no perved readin' materials on our sacred planet!" Roo-Dai roared.

So be it, thought Kaiobit in the back of his mind so Roo-Dai couldn't pick it up. So be it.

He set a hand on the protesting old man's shoulder and whispered, "Kai-Kai".

---

The next morning, the women got no sexy surprises, but Kamesen'nin…

Under his bed the old pervert found oodles upon oodles of Playboy's Sukebe's, Hustler's, Penthouse's, lesbian porno, and aerobics tapes.

"THANK GOD IN HEAVEN!" Rooshi shouted. "Oolong, forget Juuhachi's panties, we got better stuff!"

The pig raced in and ogled all of the stuff under Rooshi's bed. They spent HOURS in there, and #18 finally got to fold her clothes in peace.

Meanwhile on Kaiooshin-kai, Roo-Dai was fuming.

All of his hentai was gone! GONE!

Kaiobit laughed to himself, as he had found a garbage can that led to the Kame House. After all, HE didn't want perverted reading materials on the sacred planet of Kaiooshin-kai.

END

A/N: How'd you like it? Arthur E. King will soon be writing a yuri version, so keep your eyes peeled!- Rivka