Chapter 8: Answers
Meowth stared at James in silence for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say. James killed Jesse? That wasn't possible was it? Meowth could see even now that James still adored Jesse. There was no way that he would hurt her let alone killed her. But Meowth recalled seeing James covered in mud and his uniform torn the day they found out about Jesse's death. And he remembered how James had reacted when he was faced with crossing that bridge when Giovanni called them to the HQ. Not knowing what to think he said carefully "Jim I know dat dis has hit yous hard" Meowth started "But yous can't blame yourself for her death. It was an accident. Just because da two of yous had a fight doesn't mean dat yous killed her"
"I was there" James repeated. "I killed her"
"What are yous talking about?" Meowth demanded.
"I was there on that bridge when she fell"
Meowth drew a sharp breath. "What were yous doing up dare?"
"I don't know" James whimpered "I went up there to say sorry I suppose and then…"
Meowth looked at James. Even through he was admitting to doing it he still couldn't quiet believe it.
James continued to cry and buried his face in his hands repeating over and over that he killed her. Meowth knew he had to do something. He couldn't let James sit there and he couldn't tell Mondo. The boy would be devastated if he found out through Meowth didn't really believe that James had done anything wrong. "Ok Jimmy get up" he said softly. "We're gonna go back to da cabin so we talk about dis"
"You don't hate me?"
"I don't know"
James shrugged and stood up. Meowth jumped onto his shoulder and the two of them made their way back to the cabin. The walk back was silent. Meowth was too absorbed in his own thoughts to talk. James was still crying when he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Meowth allowed James to go into the front room ahead of him. "Jesse what are you doing here?" he heard James cry out. Meowth raced into the front room and stopped dead. "Jesse?" he whispered. Meowth rubbed his eyes with his paws until they were red but still his vision remained the same. His friend who he thought was dead was sitting on the sofa like nothing had ever happened. James was staring too not being able to believe it. "I know it's a shock," Jesse said awkwardly. Now James was actually standing there she found she could not speak. I can't confront him now Jesse realised not in front of Meowth. She knew the cat had probably been through hell and did not want to make it any worse for him. "Oh Jesse" James sobbed breaking the silence. He hurried over to her and hugged her tightly. "I thought…" he broke off when he realised that his friend was not hugging him back. Jesse felt so awkward part of her wanted to just take him in her arms and tell him that it was all right but what if he did it? Jesse gently pushed James away and stepped back trying not to look into those tear filled hurt emerald green eyes that were looking back at her. Meowth looked at Jesse and then back at James. "So it's true?" he said at last. "Yous did push her? Jim how could yous?"
"No" James cried. "I…" he faltered off and sank down on the sofa beside Jesse.
"James?" Jesse asked again resisting the urge to comfort him.
"You wouldn't believe me anyway" James whispered putting his head in his hands.
"Yous said yous killed her," Meowth said sharply.
"I did"
"James I don't understand?" Jesse cried shrilly. James was starting to frighten her now.
"I didn't push you off that bridge" James replied "But I didn't save you either"
"What are yous talking about now?" Meowth shouted. "Yous either pushed her or yous didn't"
"It doesn't matter now," James said. "You've already made up you're minds"
Meowth almost laughed at this. How could they make up their minds when he wasn't making any sense? "James tell me," Jesse asked. He pushed you and is now trying to get you to pity him that nasty little voice was back again now but Jesse tried to block it from her mind. He is using the fact that you love him! The voice was screaming at her. But James doesn't know I love him Jesse reasoned and even if he did James isn't like that. What like he didn't push you off that bridge? Jesse he was there remember? He tried to kill you!
"James?" Jesse repeated "Tell me"
James sobbed again and looked at Meowth. The cat nodded and jumped into his lap. "It's ok Jimmy yous take your time"
"It was about 5 minutes after you left the house when I went after you" James started. "I felt so bad that I had treated you like that and threw you're apology back at you. I know you don't find it easy to say sorry and I should have just accepted it. I was just so hurt…those things you called me. They were true and that's what hurt me the most."
"I was angry" Jesse cut in uncomfortably "I didn't mean them. They were just words"
"It doesn't matter now. Anyway I headed out after you. I wasn't sure which direction you had taken so I went up to the Ice Falls to think. I walked out onto the bridge and just stood there for a few seconds. Then I looked down. I saw you hanging there so close to death. For a moment I thought I was seeing things but then you cried out my name and I knew it was real. As you slipped I lunged down to grab you're arm but I was too slow. My hand brushed the tips of you're fingers for a second but I was out by a second and you fell…" James broke off again and more tears fell.
Jesse didn't know whether to believe this or not. She had no memory of him reaching down but she had her eyes shut at this point so it was possible. But James was the only one on the bridge. That doesn't mean anything Jesse told herself. She looked back at James. He was shaking and sobbing despite Meowth's efforts to comfort him. "What did you do next?" she asked when his sobs had quietened again.
"I heard you hitting the water and I raced off of the bridge and down to the riverbank and dived in. The currant was fast moving and I couldn't see you anywhere. I was getting pulled under and dragged further away down river. I remember getting pulled under one final time before everything went black. When I came too again I was lying on the riverbank about a mile from the waterfall. My uniform had been ripped and torn almost to pieces but I didn't care. It was getting light and I went back to the waterfall to find you. You weren't there all I could find was a scrap from you're uniform…I had failed you…I still have. After a while I went back to the cabin I didn't know what else to do. I had killed you"
"Dats what I don't understand?" Meowth said. "Yous says yous killed Jesse but yous didn't push her Jim"
"I failed her. I couldn't save the one person I loved. I may as well have pushed her!"
"Oh James" Jesse whispered her anger melting away. How could she have thought this sweet kind man was capable of murder? He wouldn't hurt a fly let alone intentionally try to kill someone! But who did try to kill her and who had saved James? Someone must have pulled him from the river or he'd be dead now. But who and why?
"I'm sorry" James sobbed. "Please don't hate me…I know I deserve it but please forgive me"
The logic in Jesse's mind told her that she should be cross with him who wouldn't? She could have died! He may not have pushed her but he didn't save her. But Jesse had, had enough of listening to her mind and was going to listen to her heart instead. True James didn't help her but had there been time? No there hadn't. A few seconds was all there was between James seeing her and Jesse falling. No way could he have saved her. "James I don't hate you" Jesse cried wrapping her arms round him. "I could never hate you!"
"But I failed you?"
"James you didn't fail me! There was no time for you to save me! You risked your own life by diving in there after me!"
"How can you say that? I nearly killed you!"
"James shut up! This wasn't you're fault you hear me! It was the person who really did this fault!"
Meowth had been silent up until now. Unlike the two humans he was having a chance to process what James had told him calmly and rationally. Meowth could imagine how James blamed himself. The male took things to heart a lot more than Meowth or Jesse did. Meowth could even understand why James became convinced that he killed his friend. What James said about being a few seconds out fitted in to how Meowth had thought as well. True James had been up on the bridge whilst Jesse hung on. But Jesse didn't look up until she felt her fingers slipping and James didn't look down because…Well you don't naturally look down when you are standing on a bridge over a waterfall to see if there was anyone hanging over the edge of it! And it did explain why James refused to cross the bridge when they had to see Giovanni a few days ago. He felt so guilty that the thought of crossing the bridge must have been too much to bear. Meowth was feeling bad now. He should have made more of an effort to get through to James. It all seemed to make sense to Meowth. James was looking at him now nervously waiting the cat's response to what he had said. "I believe yous" Meowth said quietly "But we hafta find out who did dis"
"Why?" James asked looking confused.
Jesse sighed and hid a small smile. James could be so dense at times but that confused look was so cute! "Well I want to know who tried to kill me," Jesse said trying to sound annoyed but it didn't quite come off. "Oh" James said in a small voice. "But how are we going to find that out?"
Jesse frowned she hadn't got that far yet! "We'll go down to the waterfall and look for clues"
"I can't see how dat will help" Meowth scoffed.
Jesse sighed again and sat back down. "Ok what do you suggest then?"
Meowth's eyes suddenly widened "Wait a minute! Yous haven't explained why yous are alive and where you've been!"
"Jesse's alive?" Mondo asked for the tenth time
"Yes she's fine just a little cut and bruised" Cindy could hardly contain her smile at the ecstatic look on her new friends face. She didn't mind repeating for him what he already knew. She was just glad that she had a part in reuniting these friends. "Does James know?" Mondo asked next
Cindy shook her head "Giovanni has tried to make contact with the cabin but there was no one answering the phone"
"Meowth couldn't bear to talk to anyone," Mondo said sadly. "James refused to come out of his room and I wasn't going to go against what my friends wanted"
"Giovanni should have sent someone round" Cindy said sympathetically "And spared you all this grief"
Mondo shrugged no one ever tried to guess Giovanni's reasoning for anything. And know one would want to Giovanni what he should have done, well unless they had a death wish.
"At least we know now," Mondo said instead in an effort to make Cindy feel better about the situation. It wasn't really her fault. Millie and Giovanni were to blame really. "Why don't you go back to the cabin" Cindy suggested. "I'll have to tell Giovanni that Jesse's gone anyway" Mondo was sympathetic at this. No one liked telling Giovanni anything especially if it were something that he wouldn't want to hear. "Why don't you come with me?" Mondo said. "They won't mind"
Cindy shook her head. "I have to stay here. Giovanni will be even madder if he finds out that I've gone too"
Mondo nodded and after their farewells he started off back to the cabin.
"How did da Boss make a mistake like dat?" Meowth mussed when Jesse had finished telling them what really happened to her. "I thought he wanted an excuse to split us up" Jesse replied.
"That's a little extreme even for the Boss" James put in.
"That isn't important," Jesse said. "I want to know who pushed me"
"Jesse don't take dis da wrong way but we are team rocket. Anyone who's got a grudge against us could have done it and lets face it dare is a pretty long list," Meowth said.
"I know" Jesse snapped knowing that it was no good. She wanted to know but they would never find out now. James put an arm round her to comfort her. Jesse leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She must have been mad to think that James tried to kill her. Then the cabin door opened and Mondo came in. He had got back earlier but decided to wait outside until they had finished talking. He couldn't help but overheard their conversation. When he heard James confess he had been horrified but then felt sorry and bad that he couldn't have helped James more when he learned the truth. Mondo couldn't imagine going round with that kind of knowledge but he was glad that Jesse was safe. He knew his crush on her would never go anywhere and that Jesse and James belonged together but he couldn't help it if he cared about her too. When Mondo thought Jesse was dead he had cried himself to sleep every night these past few days. But when he was around James and Meowth had tried to remain as strong as Jesse was. He thought she would have wanted him to look after the others. To have her back brought tears of happiness to the boy's eyes. "Mondo" Jesse said getting up from the sofa and pulling him into a hug. Mondo hugged her back well aware that he was blushing. Jesse only hugged James normally. Yet Mondo was not stupid. This was a hug because of what he had; had to go through thinking she was dead. It did not mean anything more than friendship. When Jesse hugged James it was different. Anyone could tell she was making every effort not to lean forward and kiss him and James too was only just stopping himself from kissing Jesse. Mondo would be damned if he stood in the way of love. He pulled back and his happy expression turned to a serious one. If James didn't push Jesse then who did?
Meowth stared at James in silence for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say. James killed Jesse? That wasn't possible was it? Meowth could see even now that James still adored Jesse. There was no way that he would hurt her let alone killed her. But Meowth recalled seeing James covered in mud and his uniform torn the day they found out about Jesse's death. And he remembered how James had reacted when he was faced with crossing that bridge when Giovanni called them to the HQ. Not knowing what to think he said carefully "Jim I know dat dis has hit yous hard" Meowth started "But yous can't blame yourself for her death. It was an accident. Just because da two of yous had a fight doesn't mean dat yous killed her"
"I was there" James repeated. "I killed her"
"What are yous talking about?" Meowth demanded.
"I was there on that bridge when she fell"
Meowth drew a sharp breath. "What were yous doing up dare?"
"I don't know" James whimpered "I went up there to say sorry I suppose and then…"
Meowth looked at James. Even through he was admitting to doing it he still couldn't quiet believe it.
James continued to cry and buried his face in his hands repeating over and over that he killed her. Meowth knew he had to do something. He couldn't let James sit there and he couldn't tell Mondo. The boy would be devastated if he found out through Meowth didn't really believe that James had done anything wrong. "Ok Jimmy get up" he said softly. "We're gonna go back to da cabin so we talk about dis"
"You don't hate me?"
"I don't know"
James shrugged and stood up. Meowth jumped onto his shoulder and the two of them made their way back to the cabin. The walk back was silent. Meowth was too absorbed in his own thoughts to talk. James was still crying when he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Meowth allowed James to go into the front room ahead of him. "Jesse what are you doing here?" he heard James cry out. Meowth raced into the front room and stopped dead. "Jesse?" he whispered. Meowth rubbed his eyes with his paws until they were red but still his vision remained the same. His friend who he thought was dead was sitting on the sofa like nothing had ever happened. James was staring too not being able to believe it. "I know it's a shock," Jesse said awkwardly. Now James was actually standing there she found she could not speak. I can't confront him now Jesse realised not in front of Meowth. She knew the cat had probably been through hell and did not want to make it any worse for him. "Oh Jesse" James sobbed breaking the silence. He hurried over to her and hugged her tightly. "I thought…" he broke off when he realised that his friend was not hugging him back. Jesse felt so awkward part of her wanted to just take him in her arms and tell him that it was all right but what if he did it? Jesse gently pushed James away and stepped back trying not to look into those tear filled hurt emerald green eyes that were looking back at her. Meowth looked at Jesse and then back at James. "So it's true?" he said at last. "Yous did push her? Jim how could yous?"
"No" James cried. "I…" he faltered off and sank down on the sofa beside Jesse.
"James?" Jesse asked again resisting the urge to comfort him.
"You wouldn't believe me anyway" James whispered putting his head in his hands.
"Yous said yous killed her," Meowth said sharply.
"I did"
"James I don't understand?" Jesse cried shrilly. James was starting to frighten her now.
"I didn't push you off that bridge" James replied "But I didn't save you either"
"What are yous talking about now?" Meowth shouted. "Yous either pushed her or yous didn't"
"It doesn't matter now," James said. "You've already made up you're minds"
Meowth almost laughed at this. How could they make up their minds when he wasn't making any sense? "James tell me," Jesse asked. He pushed you and is now trying to get you to pity him that nasty little voice was back again now but Jesse tried to block it from her mind. He is using the fact that you love him! The voice was screaming at her. But James doesn't know I love him Jesse reasoned and even if he did James isn't like that. What like he didn't push you off that bridge? Jesse he was there remember? He tried to kill you!
"James?" Jesse repeated "Tell me"
James sobbed again and looked at Meowth. The cat nodded and jumped into his lap. "It's ok Jimmy yous take your time"
"It was about 5 minutes after you left the house when I went after you" James started. "I felt so bad that I had treated you like that and threw you're apology back at you. I know you don't find it easy to say sorry and I should have just accepted it. I was just so hurt…those things you called me. They were true and that's what hurt me the most."
"I was angry" Jesse cut in uncomfortably "I didn't mean them. They were just words"
"It doesn't matter now. Anyway I headed out after you. I wasn't sure which direction you had taken so I went up to the Ice Falls to think. I walked out onto the bridge and just stood there for a few seconds. Then I looked down. I saw you hanging there so close to death. For a moment I thought I was seeing things but then you cried out my name and I knew it was real. As you slipped I lunged down to grab you're arm but I was too slow. My hand brushed the tips of you're fingers for a second but I was out by a second and you fell…" James broke off again and more tears fell.
Jesse didn't know whether to believe this or not. She had no memory of him reaching down but she had her eyes shut at this point so it was possible. But James was the only one on the bridge. That doesn't mean anything Jesse told herself. She looked back at James. He was shaking and sobbing despite Meowth's efforts to comfort him. "What did you do next?" she asked when his sobs had quietened again.
"I heard you hitting the water and I raced off of the bridge and down to the riverbank and dived in. The currant was fast moving and I couldn't see you anywhere. I was getting pulled under and dragged further away down river. I remember getting pulled under one final time before everything went black. When I came too again I was lying on the riverbank about a mile from the waterfall. My uniform had been ripped and torn almost to pieces but I didn't care. It was getting light and I went back to the waterfall to find you. You weren't there all I could find was a scrap from you're uniform…I had failed you…I still have. After a while I went back to the cabin I didn't know what else to do. I had killed you"
"Dats what I don't understand?" Meowth said. "Yous says yous killed Jesse but yous didn't push her Jim"
"I failed her. I couldn't save the one person I loved. I may as well have pushed her!"
"Oh James" Jesse whispered her anger melting away. How could she have thought this sweet kind man was capable of murder? He wouldn't hurt a fly let alone intentionally try to kill someone! But who did try to kill her and who had saved James? Someone must have pulled him from the river or he'd be dead now. But who and why?
"I'm sorry" James sobbed. "Please don't hate me…I know I deserve it but please forgive me"
The logic in Jesse's mind told her that she should be cross with him who wouldn't? She could have died! He may not have pushed her but he didn't save her. But Jesse had, had enough of listening to her mind and was going to listen to her heart instead. True James didn't help her but had there been time? No there hadn't. A few seconds was all there was between James seeing her and Jesse falling. No way could he have saved her. "James I don't hate you" Jesse cried wrapping her arms round him. "I could never hate you!"
"But I failed you?"
"James you didn't fail me! There was no time for you to save me! You risked your own life by diving in there after me!"
"How can you say that? I nearly killed you!"
"James shut up! This wasn't you're fault you hear me! It was the person who really did this fault!"
Meowth had been silent up until now. Unlike the two humans he was having a chance to process what James had told him calmly and rationally. Meowth could imagine how James blamed himself. The male took things to heart a lot more than Meowth or Jesse did. Meowth could even understand why James became convinced that he killed his friend. What James said about being a few seconds out fitted in to how Meowth had thought as well. True James had been up on the bridge whilst Jesse hung on. But Jesse didn't look up until she felt her fingers slipping and James didn't look down because…Well you don't naturally look down when you are standing on a bridge over a waterfall to see if there was anyone hanging over the edge of it! And it did explain why James refused to cross the bridge when they had to see Giovanni a few days ago. He felt so guilty that the thought of crossing the bridge must have been too much to bear. Meowth was feeling bad now. He should have made more of an effort to get through to James. It all seemed to make sense to Meowth. James was looking at him now nervously waiting the cat's response to what he had said. "I believe yous" Meowth said quietly "But we hafta find out who did dis"
"Why?" James asked looking confused.
Jesse sighed and hid a small smile. James could be so dense at times but that confused look was so cute! "Well I want to know who tried to kill me," Jesse said trying to sound annoyed but it didn't quite come off. "Oh" James said in a small voice. "But how are we going to find that out?"
Jesse frowned she hadn't got that far yet! "We'll go down to the waterfall and look for clues"
"I can't see how dat will help" Meowth scoffed.
Jesse sighed again and sat back down. "Ok what do you suggest then?"
Meowth's eyes suddenly widened "Wait a minute! Yous haven't explained why yous are alive and where you've been!"
"Jesse's alive?" Mondo asked for the tenth time
"Yes she's fine just a little cut and bruised" Cindy could hardly contain her smile at the ecstatic look on her new friends face. She didn't mind repeating for him what he already knew. She was just glad that she had a part in reuniting these friends. "Does James know?" Mondo asked next
Cindy shook her head "Giovanni has tried to make contact with the cabin but there was no one answering the phone"
"Meowth couldn't bear to talk to anyone," Mondo said sadly. "James refused to come out of his room and I wasn't going to go against what my friends wanted"
"Giovanni should have sent someone round" Cindy said sympathetically "And spared you all this grief"
Mondo shrugged no one ever tried to guess Giovanni's reasoning for anything. And know one would want to Giovanni what he should have done, well unless they had a death wish.
"At least we know now," Mondo said instead in an effort to make Cindy feel better about the situation. It wasn't really her fault. Millie and Giovanni were to blame really. "Why don't you go back to the cabin" Cindy suggested. "I'll have to tell Giovanni that Jesse's gone anyway" Mondo was sympathetic at this. No one liked telling Giovanni anything especially if it were something that he wouldn't want to hear. "Why don't you come with me?" Mondo said. "They won't mind"
Cindy shook her head. "I have to stay here. Giovanni will be even madder if he finds out that I've gone too"
Mondo nodded and after their farewells he started off back to the cabin.
"How did da Boss make a mistake like dat?" Meowth mussed when Jesse had finished telling them what really happened to her. "I thought he wanted an excuse to split us up" Jesse replied.
"That's a little extreme even for the Boss" James put in.
"That isn't important," Jesse said. "I want to know who pushed me"
"Jesse don't take dis da wrong way but we are team rocket. Anyone who's got a grudge against us could have done it and lets face it dare is a pretty long list," Meowth said.
"I know" Jesse snapped knowing that it was no good. She wanted to know but they would never find out now. James put an arm round her to comfort her. Jesse leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She must have been mad to think that James tried to kill her. Then the cabin door opened and Mondo came in. He had got back earlier but decided to wait outside until they had finished talking. He couldn't help but overheard their conversation. When he heard James confess he had been horrified but then felt sorry and bad that he couldn't have helped James more when he learned the truth. Mondo couldn't imagine going round with that kind of knowledge but he was glad that Jesse was safe. He knew his crush on her would never go anywhere and that Jesse and James belonged together but he couldn't help it if he cared about her too. When Mondo thought Jesse was dead he had cried himself to sleep every night these past few days. But when he was around James and Meowth had tried to remain as strong as Jesse was. He thought she would have wanted him to look after the others. To have her back brought tears of happiness to the boy's eyes. "Mondo" Jesse said getting up from the sofa and pulling him into a hug. Mondo hugged her back well aware that he was blushing. Jesse only hugged James normally. Yet Mondo was not stupid. This was a hug because of what he had; had to go through thinking she was dead. It did not mean anything more than friendship. When Jesse hugged James it was different. Anyone could tell she was making every effort not to lean forward and kiss him and James too was only just stopping himself from kissing Jesse. Mondo would be damned if he stood in the way of love. He pulled back and his happy expression turned to a serious one. If James didn't push Jesse then who did?