Disclaimer: I do not own SSB:M or any of its characters. I also do not own Speed Racer. All of the following is fictional.
Chapter 2: Multiple Personalities and The Navy
In the shadows I could make out a furry silhouette. As it drew closer, I could clearly see that is was an overgrown fox.
" What the hell are you doing here?! Nobody ordered a damn pizza! I'm not paying for it! " Fox screamed and slammed the door in my face. As I turned to walk away, the door opened again.
" Dude, your finally here! I didn't think you were coming! " Fox stated joyfully. I stood there shocked.
" Wait here, I'll get the money dude. " He hurried back inside, but immediately came back.
" I said get the hell outta here! I didn't order that pizza! I'm getting my gun! " He snapped and went back in. Suddenly, he came back out with the money.
" $5.99 my good man! " He said. I had to find out what was going on, so I did it in a polite manner.
" Listen you little freak! " I screamed, picking him up by the neck. " First you told me that you didn't order a pizza and to get outta here! Then you say you'll get the money for it, but you come back threatening me! Do you want it or not?! What the hell is wrong with you?! "
Fox's eyes swelled up with tears.
" It all started with my father. He never hugged me! Why daddy? Why?! You hugged the garbage man! You hugged Slippy! You even hugged Andross! Why daddy?!"
As soon as he started weeping, I set the pizza down and ran for it. I was about to open my car door when I heard a shotgun being loaded. I turned around to see Fox with a crazy look in his eyes and wielding a double-barrel shotgun.
" I'll give the count of three to get outta of here! " He screamed. I panicked as I tried to open the car door.
" 1...." That was the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital. That little punk shot me right in the rear! The next six months were the worst months of my life. I had visitors I didn't even know. During the first week, Fox came to see my condition.
" I'm sorry I did that! I'm so sorry! " Fox said.
" I forgive you, you weren't in control. " I replied.
" I just want to say again how sorry I really am. " Suddenly, his voice took on a menacing tone.
" Yeah, sorry I didn't finish the job! " He grabbed a pillow and held it over my face for what seemed like an eternity. I franticly pressed the Nurse Help button. As I blacked out, the last thing I remember hearing is the security tackling him to the ground.
After my release, I decided to put my life to good use. So I joined the Navy. I became a first officer within a year. They said I had a knack for ordering people around. Finally the big day came when I was promoted to Captain of the U.S.S. Falcon. It was a nuclear sub, Sea-Wolf Class. After a few years I decided to finish College because everyone needs an education. I like the way Captain Falcon sounded so much; I had my name changed legally to Captain Falcon. After school, I decided to do what I do best. Race. I built my own vehicle. Well, I kinda did. I stole it all except of the hover system from some guy called Speed Racer.
I stole it when he went to get a cup of coffee. I broke his driver-side window and hopped in. I hot-wired it and I was off. I started off small, getting use to driving again. I was racing some kids in a locale Go-Kart Track. I beat `em fair and square. I knocked those little punks off the road. So what if little Timmy can't feel his legs? I still won. Who cares about little Johnny and his vegetable state? Well, when I was ready, I entered the race. I had a little bit a trouble and might have crushed a few people, but I came out in first place! Woohoo!
Then I heard about a Fighting tournament. I decided what the hell, might as well. So I did.
A/N: I know I'm going OOC, but that's what makes writing these stories interesting! And besides, I have yet to see a humorous story with all the characters IC. The next Chapter will be up soon. ^_0
Chapter 2: Multiple Personalities and The Navy
In the shadows I could make out a furry silhouette. As it drew closer, I could clearly see that is was an overgrown fox.
" What the hell are you doing here?! Nobody ordered a damn pizza! I'm not paying for it! " Fox screamed and slammed the door in my face. As I turned to walk away, the door opened again.
" Dude, your finally here! I didn't think you were coming! " Fox stated joyfully. I stood there shocked.
" Wait here, I'll get the money dude. " He hurried back inside, but immediately came back.
" I said get the hell outta here! I didn't order that pizza! I'm getting my gun! " He snapped and went back in. Suddenly, he came back out with the money.
" $5.99 my good man! " He said. I had to find out what was going on, so I did it in a polite manner.
" Listen you little freak! " I screamed, picking him up by the neck. " First you told me that you didn't order a pizza and to get outta here! Then you say you'll get the money for it, but you come back threatening me! Do you want it or not?! What the hell is wrong with you?! "
Fox's eyes swelled up with tears.
" It all started with my father. He never hugged me! Why daddy? Why?! You hugged the garbage man! You hugged Slippy! You even hugged Andross! Why daddy?!"
As soon as he started weeping, I set the pizza down and ran for it. I was about to open my car door when I heard a shotgun being loaded. I turned around to see Fox with a crazy look in his eyes and wielding a double-barrel shotgun.
" I'll give the count of three to get outta of here! " He screamed. I panicked as I tried to open the car door.
" 1...." That was the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital. That little punk shot me right in the rear! The next six months were the worst months of my life. I had visitors I didn't even know. During the first week, Fox came to see my condition.
" I'm sorry I did that! I'm so sorry! " Fox said.
" I forgive you, you weren't in control. " I replied.
" I just want to say again how sorry I really am. " Suddenly, his voice took on a menacing tone.
" Yeah, sorry I didn't finish the job! " He grabbed a pillow and held it over my face for what seemed like an eternity. I franticly pressed the Nurse Help button. As I blacked out, the last thing I remember hearing is the security tackling him to the ground.
After my release, I decided to put my life to good use. So I joined the Navy. I became a first officer within a year. They said I had a knack for ordering people around. Finally the big day came when I was promoted to Captain of the U.S.S. Falcon. It was a nuclear sub, Sea-Wolf Class. After a few years I decided to finish College because everyone needs an education. I like the way Captain Falcon sounded so much; I had my name changed legally to Captain Falcon. After school, I decided to do what I do best. Race. I built my own vehicle. Well, I kinda did. I stole it all except of the hover system from some guy called Speed Racer.
I stole it when he went to get a cup of coffee. I broke his driver-side window and hopped in. I hot-wired it and I was off. I started off small, getting use to driving again. I was racing some kids in a locale Go-Kart Track. I beat `em fair and square. I knocked those little punks off the road. So what if little Timmy can't feel his legs? I still won. Who cares about little Johnny and his vegetable state? Well, when I was ready, I entered the race. I had a little bit a trouble and might have crushed a few people, but I came out in first place! Woohoo!
Then I heard about a Fighting tournament. I decided what the hell, might as well. So I did.
A/N: I know I'm going OOC, but that's what makes writing these stories interesting! And besides, I have yet to see a humorous story with all the characters IC. The next Chapter will be up soon. ^_0