Chapter 6: A Night On the Town
After I healed up a bit, I decided to relax with a nice night out. I opened the door to the Falcon Flyer and hopped in. I was a little rusty from lack of driving, but it's like riding a bike, you never forget. Except for those three hit-and-runs I committed. I decided to take a nice, quiet walk through the park.
As I passed a large plant, I saw a familiar figure peering from behind it. It was Mario all bandaged up. As I came closer, a twig broke under my foot. He turned around, shocked.
" Oh, it'sa you! " he sighed, obviously relived. " Want to see'a something funny? "
" Uh… Sure, Porky." I replied.
" Shut'a up and look! " He pointed towards a short, round figure in a brown over-coat.
It was obviously Kirby trying to disguise his identity. We watched quietly as he walked into a bar called "The Man-Pit".
" See'a? I knew it! " He said smugly.
" Uh… Its like you're obsessed with it. "
" Watch'a mean? " He asked surprised.
" Never mind. Uh… I got to go. " I quietly walked away.
I walked around for about three hours, and then I decided I needed a drink. I walked into a sports bar and ordered a drink. Some other contestants were there as well. Mewtwo and Sheik sat beside me, and were obviously involved in a disagreement.
" I'm telling ya man! They faked the whole moon landing. It was all a big conspiracy! " Sheik said, Drunkenly.
" That's bullcrap man and you know it! " Mewtwo shouted angrily.
" We have photographic evidence and all that crap that proves we didn't! "
" Shut up you damn conspiracy nut! " Mewtwo snapped.
" Why you…! " Sheik growled, throwing Mewtwo against the other side of the bar, landing on the pool table.
" I'll teach you to mess with me! " Mewtwo started lobbing billiard balls at Sheik.
The 8-ball hit her hit between the eyes, knocking her to the ground.
" Here comes the finisher! " Mewtwo declared, charging up a Shadow Ball.
Sheik rolled to her feet in time to see the Shadow Ball coming towards her. She narrowly dodged it. The blast hit the bartender and sent him hurling against the wall. He collapsed in pain. The liquor cabinets tipped forward and crushed him. I decided enough was enough. I positioned myself behind Mewtwo. Picking up a pool-cube, I proceeded to break it in half against his back. He fell to the ground out cold. That set off a bar room brawl. Bodies were flying through the air, bones were breaking, and faces were being smashed in, and a good laugh was had by all.
I decided I had enough carnage for one night and left the sports bar. As I walked down the dimly light streets, I stepped on something squishy. I was almost afraid to look down.
" Ow'a! You stepped on my stomach'a! "
I look down and saw Luigi. He was covered in filth and the stench of human waste was all over him.
" What in the name of God happened to you? " I asked, covering my nose from the foul odor.
" Mario and I'a had a fight. He accused me of trying to steal Peach! He kicked me out! I had to sleep in the cemetery for a week. They finally found me and kicked me out, but not before beating me'a mercilessly with their shovels. "
" Wow, you've had it rough… You poor piece of crap you…" I replied.
" I'a need some money for food and a bath…" Luigi said, trying to convince me to give him some money. Suddenly, Young Link passed by us.
" Filthy hobo! " He shouted at Luigi. " How dare you filth our filthless streets with your filth! Why don't you drag your filthy self to a filthy alley and die a filthy death! There the filthy rats will feast upon your filthy flesh, you filthy piece of filth! "
" I've had'a enough of this! " Luigi jabbed Young Link in the neck, causing him to fall to his knees, gasping for air.
Luigi reached into Young Link's pocket and yanked out his wallet. I continued my walk. I was crossing a rough part of town when I heard a voice coming from the shadows.
" Pssst… Hey man, wanna buy some of my 'special' potions? "
" Huh? What? " I turned to look at the shadows. A figure slowly emerged from the darkness. It was Gannondorf dressed in a black trench coat.
" Com'on man! You know you wanna buy some! " He opened his trench coat to revile some viles full of some sort of 'mystical' potion.
" Sorry man, I don't do that stuff. " I said.
" Fine man. " He returned to the shadows.
" What a weirdo…" I said to myself.
" Hey! I heard that! " Gannondorf yelled. I quickly walked away.
I returned to my Falcon Flyer. As I was about to enter, I heard a voice.
" There he is! Let's get him boys! "
I turned to see Mewtwo Bandaged up. With him were Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Clefairy, and Charmander. They wore gold and silver bandanas, obviously, their gang colors. Pichu tried to electrocute me. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a rubber trash can lid and shielded myself from the blast. I tossed the lid as hard as I could at the yellow mouse. It sent him hurtling into a brick wall, crushing his chest cavity.
Next up was Charmander. He charged at me. I jumped out of the way. He couldn't stop in time and slammed into the side of the Falcon Flyer, cracking his skull wide opened. I grabbed him and squeezed with all my might. The fires of Hell shout from his mouth, setting Clefairy and Jigglypuff ablaze. They ran into the night, screaming in untold agony. Pikachu fired his electro shocker. It caught me off guard. I was barely able to dodge it when I saw a Shadow Ball flying towards me. On impact, it sent me flying threw the windshield of another vehicle.
" Get in Pikachu! " Mewtwo called to him. They hopped in and sped off.
" No one touches the Falcon Flyer! " I said as I emerged from the shattered glass. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a detonator. I pressed the button, causing the Falcon Flyer to erupt into a ball of Hell fire. I decided to call it a night. I limped back to the studios and had a goodnight's rest.
After I healed up a bit, I decided to relax with a nice night out. I opened the door to the Falcon Flyer and hopped in. I was a little rusty from lack of driving, but it's like riding a bike, you never forget. Except for those three hit-and-runs I committed. I decided to take a nice, quiet walk through the park.
As I passed a large plant, I saw a familiar figure peering from behind it. It was Mario all bandaged up. As I came closer, a twig broke under my foot. He turned around, shocked.
" Oh, it'sa you! " he sighed, obviously relived. " Want to see'a something funny? "
" Uh… Sure, Porky." I replied.
" Shut'a up and look! " He pointed towards a short, round figure in a brown over-coat.
It was obviously Kirby trying to disguise his identity. We watched quietly as he walked into a bar called "The Man-Pit".
" See'a? I knew it! " He said smugly.
" Uh… Its like you're obsessed with it. "
" Watch'a mean? " He asked surprised.
" Never mind. Uh… I got to go. " I quietly walked away.
I walked around for about three hours, and then I decided I needed a drink. I walked into a sports bar and ordered a drink. Some other contestants were there as well. Mewtwo and Sheik sat beside me, and were obviously involved in a disagreement.
" I'm telling ya man! They faked the whole moon landing. It was all a big conspiracy! " Sheik said, Drunkenly.
" That's bullcrap man and you know it! " Mewtwo shouted angrily.
" We have photographic evidence and all that crap that proves we didn't! "
" Shut up you damn conspiracy nut! " Mewtwo snapped.
" Why you…! " Sheik growled, throwing Mewtwo against the other side of the bar, landing on the pool table.
" I'll teach you to mess with me! " Mewtwo started lobbing billiard balls at Sheik.
The 8-ball hit her hit between the eyes, knocking her to the ground.
" Here comes the finisher! " Mewtwo declared, charging up a Shadow Ball.
Sheik rolled to her feet in time to see the Shadow Ball coming towards her. She narrowly dodged it. The blast hit the bartender and sent him hurling against the wall. He collapsed in pain. The liquor cabinets tipped forward and crushed him. I decided enough was enough. I positioned myself behind Mewtwo. Picking up a pool-cube, I proceeded to break it in half against his back. He fell to the ground out cold. That set off a bar room brawl. Bodies were flying through the air, bones were breaking, and faces were being smashed in, and a good laugh was had by all.
I decided I had enough carnage for one night and left the sports bar. As I walked down the dimly light streets, I stepped on something squishy. I was almost afraid to look down.
" Ow'a! You stepped on my stomach'a! "
I look down and saw Luigi. He was covered in filth and the stench of human waste was all over him.
" What in the name of God happened to you? " I asked, covering my nose from the foul odor.
" Mario and I'a had a fight. He accused me of trying to steal Peach! He kicked me out! I had to sleep in the cemetery for a week. They finally found me and kicked me out, but not before beating me'a mercilessly with their shovels. "
" Wow, you've had it rough… You poor piece of crap you…" I replied.
" I'a need some money for food and a bath…" Luigi said, trying to convince me to give him some money. Suddenly, Young Link passed by us.
" Filthy hobo! " He shouted at Luigi. " How dare you filth our filthless streets with your filth! Why don't you drag your filthy self to a filthy alley and die a filthy death! There the filthy rats will feast upon your filthy flesh, you filthy piece of filth! "
" I've had'a enough of this! " Luigi jabbed Young Link in the neck, causing him to fall to his knees, gasping for air.
Luigi reached into Young Link's pocket and yanked out his wallet. I continued my walk. I was crossing a rough part of town when I heard a voice coming from the shadows.
" Pssst… Hey man, wanna buy some of my 'special' potions? "
" Huh? What? " I turned to look at the shadows. A figure slowly emerged from the darkness. It was Gannondorf dressed in a black trench coat.
" Com'on man! You know you wanna buy some! " He opened his trench coat to revile some viles full of some sort of 'mystical' potion.
" Sorry man, I don't do that stuff. " I said.
" Fine man. " He returned to the shadows.
" What a weirdo…" I said to myself.
" Hey! I heard that! " Gannondorf yelled. I quickly walked away.
I returned to my Falcon Flyer. As I was about to enter, I heard a voice.
" There he is! Let's get him boys! "
I turned to see Mewtwo Bandaged up. With him were Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Clefairy, and Charmander. They wore gold and silver bandanas, obviously, their gang colors. Pichu tried to electrocute me. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a rubber trash can lid and shielded myself from the blast. I tossed the lid as hard as I could at the yellow mouse. It sent him hurtling into a brick wall, crushing his chest cavity.
Next up was Charmander. He charged at me. I jumped out of the way. He couldn't stop in time and slammed into the side of the Falcon Flyer, cracking his skull wide opened. I grabbed him and squeezed with all my might. The fires of Hell shout from his mouth, setting Clefairy and Jigglypuff ablaze. They ran into the night, screaming in untold agony. Pikachu fired his electro shocker. It caught me off guard. I was barely able to dodge it when I saw a Shadow Ball flying towards me. On impact, it sent me flying threw the windshield of another vehicle.
" Get in Pikachu! " Mewtwo called to him. They hopped in and sped off.
" No one touches the Falcon Flyer! " I said as I emerged from the shattered glass. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a detonator. I pressed the button, causing the Falcon Flyer to erupt into a ball of Hell fire. I decided to call it a night. I limped back to the studios and had a goodnight's rest.