Chapter 41- A Funeral
The black casket was exquisite. It contrasted with the beautiful bouquet of white lilies that lay on top. As the reverend read from the scripture Clark looked at the faces around the circle.
His mother and father looked distant. Nell was there. She had her arm protectively around Lana. Whitney was standing off to the side, hating the fact that he was at another funeral. Pete looked glassy-eyed. Clark had forced him to come, for Chloe's sake. Clark and Pete were flanking Chloe. Each had an arm around her.
Chloe hadn't spoken since the day Lex had died. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep. She just stared into space. No matter how hard anyone tried, she refused to talk. It was her way with dealing with the pain. It had been near two weeks, and the funeral was the first time she hadn't gotten out of the house.
Clark looked at Lana. Lana had been distant. She knew that Chloe needed Clark. She wanted to give them their space. Clark didn't know what to do about Lana. He loved her, but he loved Chloe more. Chloe was his number one priority.
Looking to Chloe, Clark saw silent tears streaming down her face.
"Chlo? You okay?" Clark asked.
Chloe wouldn't acknowledge him. It had been this way the entire two weeks. Chloe wouldn't acknowledge his, or anyone else's, presence, but Clark refused to leave her side. He wouldn't give up on her. He was so frightened that she would take her life. She was in such a deep depression. She was so disturbed that she had refused to take her internship at the Planet. Chloe had done it for two reasons: 1. She couldn't have fun when she knew Lex would never be able to share her joy. 2. She couldn't stay in Lex's apartment for two months. It would drive her mad.
Lionel was not in attendance. Clark had tried to contact him, but had been transferred to a countless number of secretaries before giving up. Lionel didn't care about Lex. Lex was an inconvenience to him. An inconvenience that was now out of his life. He was probably happy that Lex was gone.
When the reverend was done Lana, Nell, and Martha moved to put flowers onto Lex's casket. Chloe gritted her teeth. The group stood back and watched as the casket was slowly lowered.
"No!" Chloe screamed throwing herself on top of the casket.
Clark stepped forward, but Martha held out a hand to stop him.
Instead, Martha walked to Chloe. "Come here, baby," Martha said soothingly.
"You can't take him!" Chloe sobbed rubbing the smooth black metal.
"Sweetheart," Martha said. "You have to let him go."
Chloe's sobs made her shake. "This isn't Lex!"
Martha knelt beside Chloe and rubbed her back. "Yes, it is. Lex is gone, darling. He isn't coming back. There's nothing we can do about it."
Chloe looked at Martha as if seeing her for the first time. "Mrs. Kent? He didn't mean to. He didn't want to die. I know he didn't!"
"I know, baby," Martha said, beginning to cry.
"Did he want to leave me?" Chloe asked in a child's innocent manner.
"No, sweetheart. He loved you. He just couldn't handle it," Martha said.
Chloe threw herself into Martha's arms. Martha signaled for Lex's casket to be lowered as she held Chloe tightly.
"You just cry all you want, my love. Cry until you can't cry anymore. It's good to cry. It will make you feel better," Martha said running her hand up and down Chloe's back.
Lana began to cry as Chloe talked to Martha. Nell wrapped an arm tightly around Lana's waist, but it didn't help to soothe her.
Martha stood, carrying Chloe with her. Chloe looked around at her friends. When she saw Clark she ran to him. She buried her face in his chest. "Oh, Clark. He's really gone isn't he?"
"Yes, he is," Clark said sadly.
"He's left us behind," Chloe said looking up at Clark.
"Yes. He left us behind, but he'll always be here," Clark said touching the shirt above Chloe's heart.
"What if I forget him?" Chloe voiced her fears.
"You'll never forget," Clark assured her.
"Pete," Chloe said looking to him.
"Yes?" Pete asked walking a few steps closer.
Chloe let go of Lex and hugged Pete. As she hugged him a new wave of tears blurred her vision.
"Tell me it will be okay. If you say it will, then it will," Chloe pleaded.
Pete pulled back and looked into Chloe's eyes. "Chloe, it will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after. Maybe not next month, or even next year, but eventually it will be okay."
Chloe nodded as Lana walked over.
"Chlo?" Lana asked placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. When Chloe turned Lana wrapped her in a hug.
"He's gone, Lana. He really is and he's not coming back. He's not coming back and I'll never see him again," Chloe said crying.
"I know, Chloe," Lana said. She wanted to say some reassuring words, but there was nothing to say. Only time would heal Chloe's wounds.
When Lana let go, Whitney took his turn hugging Chloe. "I'm here for you, Chloe. I will always be here if you ever need me. Day or night," Whitney said.
"Thank you," Chloe whispered. "No!" she said as men started piling fresh dirt into the hole Lex's body was in. Chloe fell to her knees.
Clark knelt beside her.
"I can't let him go. Not yet. Not yet," Chloe said desperately.
"Chloe, you have to. He's not coming back," Clark said.
"Don't say that!" Chloe shouted searching for Martha. "Mrs. Kent?"
"I'm here, sweetie," Martha said stepping forward.
"Chloe, you can't hide from this anymore. It's gone on long enough. You have to acknowledge that Lex is never coming back," Clark said sincerely.
"Stop it! Make him stop!" Chloe cried, standing and stepping into Martha's arms.
"Clark, that's enough for now," Martha said holding Chloe.
"Mom," Clark said.
"I said it's enough," Martha said sternly. "Chlo, how about you come to our house for some hot chocolate. We can talk."
Chloe nodded through her tears.
In the back of the Kent's car Chloe slid over to Clark. He slipped his arms around her, not knowing what to say. All he knew to do was to just let Chloe cry. She needed to get her feelings out. Clark was relived that she wasn't holding it in any longer. Her words broke his heart, but at least she was speaking!
Clark put his arm around Chloe as they followed his parents to the kitchen. He led her to a chair and started to move away.
"Don't let go," Chloe said desperately hanging on to Clark.
Clark nodded and pulled his chair next to hers. He linked his arms around her and just held her. She let him let go when Martha handed them cups of hot chocolate. Chloe sipped it greedily, enjoying the scalding liquid burning her throat and mouth.
Martha stood beside Chloe and put her hand on the back of Chloe's head. "Me and Jonathan are going into the living room. We'll be there if you need us."
Chloe nodded.
"Do you want to talk?" Clark asked.
"I don't know what to say. I know he's gone. I should probably be happy," Chloe said sadly.
"Why?" Clark asked.
"Because of how many times he beat me. How many times he hurt me. See, I know he was only doing it because he thought it was expected of him," Chloe explained. "He was living up to his father's expectations."
"That doesn't justify it," Clark said.
"Don't you think I know that?" Chloe asked. "He didn't know what he was doing. Do you know what he said to me right before he pulled the trigger?"
"No," Clark said.
"He said, 'I love you, Chloe,'" Chloe answered beginning to cry. "He said he loved me."
"Oh, Chloe," Clark said reaching out to her.
Chloe gladly let Clark hold her. "He said 'I love you, Chloe.' I kept screaming 'No, Lex! Please, don't! You don't have to do this!' And then he pulled the trigger."
"If this is too hard, you don't have to talk about it," Clark said.
"I need to," Chloe said pulling back. "At first I thought he was going to shoot me, but he kept saying he couldn't let his father win. That's when I realized he was going to kill himself. When he pulled the trigger, he immediately fell to the ground. I thought he was okay. In thought that when he shot himself blood would go everywhere, but it didn't. So, I thought he was okay. I ran around the desk and he was on the floor."
Clark rubbed Chloe's knee as she continued.
"There was a dark puddle around his head. I didn't realize what it was. I thought he was okay. I knelt beside him and pulled his head onto my lap. The puddle was so sticky. I remember thinking that it would stain my clothes," Chloe said with a nervous laugh. "Then, I realized that Lex wasn't breathing. My one thought was that we had to call an ambulance. I thought he was fine. There was no way he was dead."
"That's when I came in," Clark said.
"Yes," Chloe answered. "I'm so sorry for ignoring you. I just couldn't cope with it. Then, seeing that black metal box being lowered into the ground. It was too much."
"I understood that you needed to heal in your own way," Clark said sincerely.
"I'm glad you stuck by me," Chloe said hugging Clark.
"I'll never leave you, Chlo," Clark said.
The black casket was exquisite. It contrasted with the beautiful bouquet of white lilies that lay on top. As the reverend read from the scripture Clark looked at the faces around the circle.
His mother and father looked distant. Nell was there. She had her arm protectively around Lana. Whitney was standing off to the side, hating the fact that he was at another funeral. Pete looked glassy-eyed. Clark had forced him to come, for Chloe's sake. Clark and Pete were flanking Chloe. Each had an arm around her.
Chloe hadn't spoken since the day Lex had died. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep. She just stared into space. No matter how hard anyone tried, she refused to talk. It was her way with dealing with the pain. It had been near two weeks, and the funeral was the first time she hadn't gotten out of the house.
Clark looked at Lana. Lana had been distant. She knew that Chloe needed Clark. She wanted to give them their space. Clark didn't know what to do about Lana. He loved her, but he loved Chloe more. Chloe was his number one priority.
Looking to Chloe, Clark saw silent tears streaming down her face.
"Chlo? You okay?" Clark asked.
Chloe wouldn't acknowledge him. It had been this way the entire two weeks. Chloe wouldn't acknowledge his, or anyone else's, presence, but Clark refused to leave her side. He wouldn't give up on her. He was so frightened that she would take her life. She was in such a deep depression. She was so disturbed that she had refused to take her internship at the Planet. Chloe had done it for two reasons: 1. She couldn't have fun when she knew Lex would never be able to share her joy. 2. She couldn't stay in Lex's apartment for two months. It would drive her mad.
Lionel was not in attendance. Clark had tried to contact him, but had been transferred to a countless number of secretaries before giving up. Lionel didn't care about Lex. Lex was an inconvenience to him. An inconvenience that was now out of his life. He was probably happy that Lex was gone.
When the reverend was done Lana, Nell, and Martha moved to put flowers onto Lex's casket. Chloe gritted her teeth. The group stood back and watched as the casket was slowly lowered.
"No!" Chloe screamed throwing herself on top of the casket.
Clark stepped forward, but Martha held out a hand to stop him.
Instead, Martha walked to Chloe. "Come here, baby," Martha said soothingly.
"You can't take him!" Chloe sobbed rubbing the smooth black metal.
"Sweetheart," Martha said. "You have to let him go."
Chloe's sobs made her shake. "This isn't Lex!"
Martha knelt beside Chloe and rubbed her back. "Yes, it is. Lex is gone, darling. He isn't coming back. There's nothing we can do about it."
Chloe looked at Martha as if seeing her for the first time. "Mrs. Kent? He didn't mean to. He didn't want to die. I know he didn't!"
"I know, baby," Martha said, beginning to cry.
"Did he want to leave me?" Chloe asked in a child's innocent manner.
"No, sweetheart. He loved you. He just couldn't handle it," Martha said.
Chloe threw herself into Martha's arms. Martha signaled for Lex's casket to be lowered as she held Chloe tightly.
"You just cry all you want, my love. Cry until you can't cry anymore. It's good to cry. It will make you feel better," Martha said running her hand up and down Chloe's back.
Lana began to cry as Chloe talked to Martha. Nell wrapped an arm tightly around Lana's waist, but it didn't help to soothe her.
Martha stood, carrying Chloe with her. Chloe looked around at her friends. When she saw Clark she ran to him. She buried her face in his chest. "Oh, Clark. He's really gone isn't he?"
"Yes, he is," Clark said sadly.
"He's left us behind," Chloe said looking up at Clark.
"Yes. He left us behind, but he'll always be here," Clark said touching the shirt above Chloe's heart.
"What if I forget him?" Chloe voiced her fears.
"You'll never forget," Clark assured her.
"Pete," Chloe said looking to him.
"Yes?" Pete asked walking a few steps closer.
Chloe let go of Lex and hugged Pete. As she hugged him a new wave of tears blurred her vision.
"Tell me it will be okay. If you say it will, then it will," Chloe pleaded.
Pete pulled back and looked into Chloe's eyes. "Chloe, it will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after. Maybe not next month, or even next year, but eventually it will be okay."
Chloe nodded as Lana walked over.
"Chlo?" Lana asked placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. When Chloe turned Lana wrapped her in a hug.
"He's gone, Lana. He really is and he's not coming back. He's not coming back and I'll never see him again," Chloe said crying.
"I know, Chloe," Lana said. She wanted to say some reassuring words, but there was nothing to say. Only time would heal Chloe's wounds.
When Lana let go, Whitney took his turn hugging Chloe. "I'm here for you, Chloe. I will always be here if you ever need me. Day or night," Whitney said.
"Thank you," Chloe whispered. "No!" she said as men started piling fresh dirt into the hole Lex's body was in. Chloe fell to her knees.
Clark knelt beside her.
"I can't let him go. Not yet. Not yet," Chloe said desperately.
"Chloe, you have to. He's not coming back," Clark said.
"Don't say that!" Chloe shouted searching for Martha. "Mrs. Kent?"
"I'm here, sweetie," Martha said stepping forward.
"Chloe, you can't hide from this anymore. It's gone on long enough. You have to acknowledge that Lex is never coming back," Clark said sincerely.
"Stop it! Make him stop!" Chloe cried, standing and stepping into Martha's arms.
"Clark, that's enough for now," Martha said holding Chloe.
"Mom," Clark said.
"I said it's enough," Martha said sternly. "Chlo, how about you come to our house for some hot chocolate. We can talk."
Chloe nodded through her tears.
In the back of the Kent's car Chloe slid over to Clark. He slipped his arms around her, not knowing what to say. All he knew to do was to just let Chloe cry. She needed to get her feelings out. Clark was relived that she wasn't holding it in any longer. Her words broke his heart, but at least she was speaking!
Clark put his arm around Chloe as they followed his parents to the kitchen. He led her to a chair and started to move away.
"Don't let go," Chloe said desperately hanging on to Clark.
Clark nodded and pulled his chair next to hers. He linked his arms around her and just held her. She let him let go when Martha handed them cups of hot chocolate. Chloe sipped it greedily, enjoying the scalding liquid burning her throat and mouth.
Martha stood beside Chloe and put her hand on the back of Chloe's head. "Me and Jonathan are going into the living room. We'll be there if you need us."
Chloe nodded.
"Do you want to talk?" Clark asked.
"I don't know what to say. I know he's gone. I should probably be happy," Chloe said sadly.
"Why?" Clark asked.
"Because of how many times he beat me. How many times he hurt me. See, I know he was only doing it because he thought it was expected of him," Chloe explained. "He was living up to his father's expectations."
"That doesn't justify it," Clark said.
"Don't you think I know that?" Chloe asked. "He didn't know what he was doing. Do you know what he said to me right before he pulled the trigger?"
"No," Clark said.
"He said, 'I love you, Chloe,'" Chloe answered beginning to cry. "He said he loved me."
"Oh, Chloe," Clark said reaching out to her.
Chloe gladly let Clark hold her. "He said 'I love you, Chloe.' I kept screaming 'No, Lex! Please, don't! You don't have to do this!' And then he pulled the trigger."
"If this is too hard, you don't have to talk about it," Clark said.
"I need to," Chloe said pulling back. "At first I thought he was going to shoot me, but he kept saying he couldn't let his father win. That's when I realized he was going to kill himself. When he pulled the trigger, he immediately fell to the ground. I thought he was okay. In thought that when he shot himself blood would go everywhere, but it didn't. So, I thought he was okay. I ran around the desk and he was on the floor."
Clark rubbed Chloe's knee as she continued.
"There was a dark puddle around his head. I didn't realize what it was. I thought he was okay. I knelt beside him and pulled his head onto my lap. The puddle was so sticky. I remember thinking that it would stain my clothes," Chloe said with a nervous laugh. "Then, I realized that Lex wasn't breathing. My one thought was that we had to call an ambulance. I thought he was fine. There was no way he was dead."
"That's when I came in," Clark said.
"Yes," Chloe answered. "I'm so sorry for ignoring you. I just couldn't cope with it. Then, seeing that black metal box being lowered into the ground. It was too much."
"I understood that you needed to heal in your own way," Clark said sincerely.
"I'm glad you stuck by me," Chloe said hugging Clark.
"I'll never leave you, Chlo," Clark said.