Chapter 7: Ship Wreck on Mario Land
The next morning after my night out, Harry M. Hand had a special announcement for the all the contestants.
" Okay contestants, we're offering you a three hour fishing trip/tour. Remember, this is optional, but if you want to join us, please raise your hand so I can be sure to have enough room you all of you. " Harry explained. Mario was the first to speak up.
" Peach and I'a want to join'a the trip! "
" Excellent! " Harry exclaimed.
I figured what the hell, might as well, and I joined the small group.
" If that fat plumber's going, then I going too! " Bowser shouted angrily.
" Good, good, four contestants already signed up! Anyone else want to come along on the trip? "
" Well, I have nothing better to do. Sign me up. God, my life is sad…" Roy sighed, obviously depressed.
" I love fishing! " Kirby exclaimed joyfully.
" Hey, why not? Count me in! " Falco declared.
" Who the hell are you? " I asked the blue bird.
" I'm here to replace Mr. Game and Watch. " He replied.
" Oh yeah… I forgot that he was decapitated…Eh, I didn't even like that poor bastard. " I shrugged. I noticed Link and Zelda walking down the hallway.
" Hey bowling ball head! " I waved, mocking him.
" Stop calling me that! You know my hair's growing back and I had the doctors burn that tattoo you gave me off! " He sneered.
" Oh, I see they also reattached your hand…" I replied.
" Yeah, they did. They gave me some medicine to take, but it made it hard to sleep at night, so I stop taking it three days ago. Now I sleep like a baby, but I don't think my hand's healing right…"
I then noticed his hand. It was swollen to three times its normal size and it was dark purple. My eyes nearly popped out of my skull when I saw it. It was one of the most grotesque things I have ever seen.
" God almighty! " I managed to choke out. I tried to pry my eyes from the horrid sight.
" Its kind of numb for some reason, but it'll be okay…" He replied. Suddenly, the malformed limb fell to the ground. " Damn, that's the second time this week! "
He picked up the dastardly hand headed to the emergency room.
" Oh, and sign Zelda and me up for the trip tomorrow! "
" Are you sure about this? " Harry replied sheepishly.
" Don't worry; it'll be back on by tomorrow. What time do we leave? " Link asked.
" 8:00 AM sharp. We'll gather our luggage and take the bus to the docks. "
" See ya then! " Link exited the studios.
" Luggage? " I asked. " Why the hell would we need luggage on a three hour trip? " " Well, it could get cold and what if your clothes get wet? You can never be too prepared." He stated. I headed back to my quarters to pack up.
I awoke to the blazing sound of my digital alarm. I couldn't find the off button, so I forced to crush it in my powerful hand. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I had the breakfast of champions, whisky and vodka. I grabbed my luggage and headed towards the main room. All the others were ready to go, except Harry.
" Oh my God, I over slept, my damn alarm clock broke! " I turned to see him rushing to the main room.
" Hey Harry, where's Charles (AKA Crazy hand)? " I asked, puzzled my absence.
" The institution caught him again. It was his third breakout this month. They're going to perform a lobotomy on him if he does it again. Poor guy, he's so pumped full of drugs that he thinks he's a pony! " He said grimly.
" I really didn't need to know all that…" I replied.
" Oh, I see everyone's ready, let's go! "
We followed him out side to a waiting school bus.
" Uh…." I hesitated. " Why are we going on a school bus? "
" Well, the third grade class is going on a field trip down to the docks. Since half their class is home sick with the flu, they let us ride down to the docks with them. "
" Okay…" I said absent-mindedly.
I sat in the far back next to Mario and Peach. Once in awhile, Mario would distract the kids while I stole one of their lunches until one of the volunteer parents noticed us.
" What do you think you're doing?! Stealing lunches from little kids?! God, I don't even think they should allow freaks like you come on this bus anyway! " One of them scowled. Now that made me mad.
I picked the man up by the collar. I opened the emergency door in the back and toss him out as we were speeding down the highway at sixty mph.
" Daddy!!! NO! " One of the kids screamed as his father tumbled down the highway, finally coming to a stop right in the path of a SUV. The youngster started weeping loudly. I close the door and returned to my seat.
In the front of the bus, a puzzled third grader took a seat next to Roy.
" What's the matter mister? You look sad! " He asked him.
" I am sad, kid. " Roy replied, starring at the floor.
" Why mister? "
" I was a prince until my kingdom was taken from me!" He began weeping and going on about his stolen kingdom. The kid raised his hand.
" Teacher, can I change seats? " He asked. " He's depressing me! "
" Of course you can Johnny! " The teacher replied. The kid arose from Roy's side and went towards the mid-section.
We finally arrived at the docks. The water was clean and blue.
" There's the ship! " Harry pointed out. " The S.S Minnow! "
" Why does that sound so familiar? " Peach questioned. " It's probably nothing…"
As we came to the bridge connecting to the boat, we saw a fat man in a blue top and gray pants with a captain's hat. He looked like he was asleep.
" Is that the captain? " Zelda asked with concern in her voice.
" That I am, miss! " His eyes shot open. " You can call me Skipper. "
" Don't you have a real name? " I asked.
" Nope, just Skipper. " He replied.
" Hey, where's the first mate? We need help with out luggage! " Bowser demanded.
" You mean backstabber! " Suddenly, The Skipper's eyes became as cold as steel.
" What do you mean? " I asked innocently.
" I treated him like my own flesh and blood! But what does he do? He steals most of my money and buys his own ship! And what do I do? I end up broke and sleeping on the floor of my ship. I can barely pay the harbor fees. As far as I'm concerned, he died a long time ago! " His voice was filled with murderous rage.
We grabbed our luggage and boarded the Minnow.
" Okay, everyone ready? Good. " The Skipper started the engines.
About an hour into the journey, the weather started getting rough.
" Hey Skip, did you check the weather reports? " I asked.
" Of course not! What's the adventure in that? " He joyfully said.
" Why in the name of God didn't you?! " I yelled at the top of my lungs.
" I never do! It makes the trip so much more exciting! " He explained crazily.
" Oh my God'a, he's a mad man! " Mario screamed.
" I'm not! I'm just a good'ol type of adventurer! You know, the type that set their hair on fire and see just how long they can stand the intense pain or who like to break apart killer bee hive and rub the enraged bees across their naked flesh to see just how many stings they can take before passing out! "
The others and I went into the lower deck. About ten minutes later, I came topside to check on him. I found him slumped over the wheel with a note pinned to his sleeve. It read:
I just can't take my life anymore! They're going to reposses my boat! My little buddy is gone and I have nothing to life for, so I have overdosed on my anti-depressants!
- The Skipper
I starred at the corpse that used to be the Skipper.
" Uh…everyone… you might want to come see this, but beware, its kind of gruesome." I called to the lower deck.
"Now what'sa matter did he kill'a himself or something." Mario asked obviously annoyed
"As a matter of fact, yes!" I screamed at him
"Oh my god, oh my god!" Kirby said trembling. " We're all gonna die! We're have to resort to cannibalism! I claim hanging gut over there! " He pointed at Mario.
Suddenly, the tiny ship was tossed. Everyone was thrown from side to side.
" Get below deck! I can handle this! " I called to them.
" It's your funeral! " Bowser returned the call. After that, they went below.
It was me against nature. I struggled against the awesome might of nature. At one point, the boat nearly capsized. It took all my might to keep that from happening. As the weather started to calm down, I blacked out. I awoke to find myself lying on loose sand.
I looked around to find palm trees and an ocean as far as I could see. I Heard movement behind me. I turned around to see Harry gathering wood.
" Oh, you're up! " He said surprised.
" What happened? " I asked.
" You blacked out. Thank God you were able to steer the ship through the storm…" He replied.
" Where is the Minnow? "
" It was torn apart. Good thing were had The Skipper's body, we were able to ride him to shore," He set the firewood down.
" Where are the others? "
" They trying to find food, " Harry said.
" How do we get off this God-forsaken island? " I asked annoyed.
" I'm sure we'll find a way. " He said.
I decided to sing a song I made up.
" Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip. It started from
This tropic shore, aboard this tiny ship
The Swordsmen was a depressed former prince
The New captain brave and sure
Nine passengers set sail that day
For a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour
The weather started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless captain
The Minnow would be lost, The Minnow would be lost
They washed up on this tiny desert isle
The Swordsmen, The captain too,
Mario, and the Princess, Link and Zelda
And the rest, here on Smash Bros. Isle "
Next Chapter- Chapter 8: Life On the Island
The next morning after my night out, Harry M. Hand had a special announcement for the all the contestants.
" Okay contestants, we're offering you a three hour fishing trip/tour. Remember, this is optional, but if you want to join us, please raise your hand so I can be sure to have enough room you all of you. " Harry explained. Mario was the first to speak up.
" Peach and I'a want to join'a the trip! "
" Excellent! " Harry exclaimed.
I figured what the hell, might as well, and I joined the small group.
" If that fat plumber's going, then I going too! " Bowser shouted angrily.
" Good, good, four contestants already signed up! Anyone else want to come along on the trip? "
" Well, I have nothing better to do. Sign me up. God, my life is sad…" Roy sighed, obviously depressed.
" I love fishing! " Kirby exclaimed joyfully.
" Hey, why not? Count me in! " Falco declared.
" Who the hell are you? " I asked the blue bird.
" I'm here to replace Mr. Game and Watch. " He replied.
" Oh yeah… I forgot that he was decapitated…Eh, I didn't even like that poor bastard. " I shrugged. I noticed Link and Zelda walking down the hallway.
" Hey bowling ball head! " I waved, mocking him.
" Stop calling me that! You know my hair's growing back and I had the doctors burn that tattoo you gave me off! " He sneered.
" Oh, I see they also reattached your hand…" I replied.
" Yeah, they did. They gave me some medicine to take, but it made it hard to sleep at night, so I stop taking it three days ago. Now I sleep like a baby, but I don't think my hand's healing right…"
I then noticed his hand. It was swollen to three times its normal size and it was dark purple. My eyes nearly popped out of my skull when I saw it. It was one of the most grotesque things I have ever seen.
" God almighty! " I managed to choke out. I tried to pry my eyes from the horrid sight.
" Its kind of numb for some reason, but it'll be okay…" He replied. Suddenly, the malformed limb fell to the ground. " Damn, that's the second time this week! "
He picked up the dastardly hand headed to the emergency room.
" Oh, and sign Zelda and me up for the trip tomorrow! "
" Are you sure about this? " Harry replied sheepishly.
" Don't worry; it'll be back on by tomorrow. What time do we leave? " Link asked.
" 8:00 AM sharp. We'll gather our luggage and take the bus to the docks. "
" See ya then! " Link exited the studios.
" Luggage? " I asked. " Why the hell would we need luggage on a three hour trip? " " Well, it could get cold and what if your clothes get wet? You can never be too prepared." He stated. I headed back to my quarters to pack up.
I awoke to the blazing sound of my digital alarm. I couldn't find the off button, so I forced to crush it in my powerful hand. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I had the breakfast of champions, whisky and vodka. I grabbed my luggage and headed towards the main room. All the others were ready to go, except Harry.
" Oh my God, I over slept, my damn alarm clock broke! " I turned to see him rushing to the main room.
" Hey Harry, where's Charles (AKA Crazy hand)? " I asked, puzzled my absence.
" The institution caught him again. It was his third breakout this month. They're going to perform a lobotomy on him if he does it again. Poor guy, he's so pumped full of drugs that he thinks he's a pony! " He said grimly.
" I really didn't need to know all that…" I replied.
" Oh, I see everyone's ready, let's go! "
We followed him out side to a waiting school bus.
" Uh…." I hesitated. " Why are we going on a school bus? "
" Well, the third grade class is going on a field trip down to the docks. Since half their class is home sick with the flu, they let us ride down to the docks with them. "
" Okay…" I said absent-mindedly.
I sat in the far back next to Mario and Peach. Once in awhile, Mario would distract the kids while I stole one of their lunches until one of the volunteer parents noticed us.
" What do you think you're doing?! Stealing lunches from little kids?! God, I don't even think they should allow freaks like you come on this bus anyway! " One of them scowled. Now that made me mad.
I picked the man up by the collar. I opened the emergency door in the back and toss him out as we were speeding down the highway at sixty mph.
" Daddy!!! NO! " One of the kids screamed as his father tumbled down the highway, finally coming to a stop right in the path of a SUV. The youngster started weeping loudly. I close the door and returned to my seat.
In the front of the bus, a puzzled third grader took a seat next to Roy.
" What's the matter mister? You look sad! " He asked him.
" I am sad, kid. " Roy replied, starring at the floor.
" Why mister? "
" I was a prince until my kingdom was taken from me!" He began weeping and going on about his stolen kingdom. The kid raised his hand.
" Teacher, can I change seats? " He asked. " He's depressing me! "
" Of course you can Johnny! " The teacher replied. The kid arose from Roy's side and went towards the mid-section.
We finally arrived at the docks. The water was clean and blue.
" There's the ship! " Harry pointed out. " The S.S Minnow! "
" Why does that sound so familiar? " Peach questioned. " It's probably nothing…"
As we came to the bridge connecting to the boat, we saw a fat man in a blue top and gray pants with a captain's hat. He looked like he was asleep.
" Is that the captain? " Zelda asked with concern in her voice.
" That I am, miss! " His eyes shot open. " You can call me Skipper. "
" Don't you have a real name? " I asked.
" Nope, just Skipper. " He replied.
" Hey, where's the first mate? We need help with out luggage! " Bowser demanded.
" You mean backstabber! " Suddenly, The Skipper's eyes became as cold as steel.
" What do you mean? " I asked innocently.
" I treated him like my own flesh and blood! But what does he do? He steals most of my money and buys his own ship! And what do I do? I end up broke and sleeping on the floor of my ship. I can barely pay the harbor fees. As far as I'm concerned, he died a long time ago! " His voice was filled with murderous rage.
We grabbed our luggage and boarded the Minnow.
" Okay, everyone ready? Good. " The Skipper started the engines.
About an hour into the journey, the weather started getting rough.
" Hey Skip, did you check the weather reports? " I asked.
" Of course not! What's the adventure in that? " He joyfully said.
" Why in the name of God didn't you?! " I yelled at the top of my lungs.
" I never do! It makes the trip so much more exciting! " He explained crazily.
" Oh my God'a, he's a mad man! " Mario screamed.
" I'm not! I'm just a good'ol type of adventurer! You know, the type that set their hair on fire and see just how long they can stand the intense pain or who like to break apart killer bee hive and rub the enraged bees across their naked flesh to see just how many stings they can take before passing out! "
The others and I went into the lower deck. About ten minutes later, I came topside to check on him. I found him slumped over the wheel with a note pinned to his sleeve. It read:
I just can't take my life anymore! They're going to reposses my boat! My little buddy is gone and I have nothing to life for, so I have overdosed on my anti-depressants!
- The Skipper
I starred at the corpse that used to be the Skipper.
" Uh…everyone… you might want to come see this, but beware, its kind of gruesome." I called to the lower deck.
"Now what'sa matter did he kill'a himself or something." Mario asked obviously annoyed
"As a matter of fact, yes!" I screamed at him
"Oh my god, oh my god!" Kirby said trembling. " We're all gonna die! We're have to resort to cannibalism! I claim hanging gut over there! " He pointed at Mario.
Suddenly, the tiny ship was tossed. Everyone was thrown from side to side.
" Get below deck! I can handle this! " I called to them.
" It's your funeral! " Bowser returned the call. After that, they went below.
It was me against nature. I struggled against the awesome might of nature. At one point, the boat nearly capsized. It took all my might to keep that from happening. As the weather started to calm down, I blacked out. I awoke to find myself lying on loose sand.
I looked around to find palm trees and an ocean as far as I could see. I Heard movement behind me. I turned around to see Harry gathering wood.
" Oh, you're up! " He said surprised.
" What happened? " I asked.
" You blacked out. Thank God you were able to steer the ship through the storm…" He replied.
" Where is the Minnow? "
" It was torn apart. Good thing were had The Skipper's body, we were able to ride him to shore," He set the firewood down.
" Where are the others? "
" They trying to find food, " Harry said.
" How do we get off this God-forsaken island? " I asked annoyed.
" I'm sure we'll find a way. " He said.
I decided to sing a song I made up.
" Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip. It started from
This tropic shore, aboard this tiny ship
The Swordsmen was a depressed former prince
The New captain brave and sure
Nine passengers set sail that day
For a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour
The weather started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless captain
The Minnow would be lost, The Minnow would be lost
They washed up on this tiny desert isle
The Swordsmen, The captain too,
Mario, and the Princess, Link and Zelda
And the rest, here on Smash Bros. Isle "
Next Chapter- Chapter 8: Life On the Island