Chapter 8: Chills and Thrills on Luigi's Haunted Hills
I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock.
" Huh? What the hell? It must've been a dream…"
I quickly took a shower and got dressed. I headed to the cafeteria to grab some grub. I just walked in when Luigi came charging through the entrance.
" Hey'a everybody! I won a mansion! For free'a! " Luigi yelled, triumphantly.
" Who the hell gives out free mansions? " Kirby demanded.
" Com'on, it's gotta be a trick! No one just gives away mansions! " I said with suspicion evident in my tone.
" Someone'a does. See'a? " He handed me a letter of notification.
It read:
Dear Mr.Luigi,
We are pleased to inform you that you've won a free mansion in our Hell House Sweepstakes. To claim your prize, you must bring eight of your friends, including your brother to the address provided. A caretaker will be waiting for you to claim your prize. The address is 1313 MockingBird Lane.
Yours truly, K.B.
" Isn't there something weird about this whole situation? " I asked.
" What'a do you mean? " Luigi asked puzzled.
" Okay, firstly, 1313 MockingBird Lane is from 'The Munsters'. Secondly, As far as I know, there is no Hell House Sweepstakes."
" You're just'a being paranoid'a. " Mario snapped. " Besides'a, it's not'a your mansion, it's ours! "
" Hey'a, who wants to'a go with me'a? " Luigi asked with cheer in his eyes.
" I've got to see what's up with this mansion crap…" I spoke with doubt in my voice.
" Sure let's go! " Roy said smiling.
" Hey, you're sure cheerful lately." Link said. " What's up? "
" I've received several shock treatment sessions. Everything is so beautiful and alive! "
" Oh my God, they fried your brain! You poor Bastard! " I said, shocked.
" Oh Mario, can I please come? " Peach asked Mario.
" Sure'a Peach! "
" Count me and Zelda in! Since you're rich now, can I borrow a couple hundred? " Link pleaded.
" Win'a your own mansion, you damn bum! " Luigi said with anger in his voice.
" Hey, maybe there'll be something I can steal… I need the money. I had to sell my Star to some damn teenagers! I know they'll wreck it…" Kirby whispered to himself. " I'll go! "
" Hey Lard Ass, you wanna come?" I asked Ness nicely.
" Wahhhhhhh! I'm not fat! I have an eating disorder! It's not funny! " Ness's words were cut out by his persistent crying.
" Stop it now or you get a boot to the face!" I tried to reason with Ness. With that, Ness grew deathly quiet.
Everyone went to start packing for the trip. I still had my doubts, so I packed my bags with various instruments of death. An assault rifle, twin Uzi's, duel Semi-auto pistols, and a real big knife I found underneath my bed. I had no idea how it got there. I went to the garage and pulled in front of the building. Everyone began loading their luggage in the trunk. I gave them a few of rules on the road.
"Rule number one, you dent my car, I dent your face. Rule two, who ever fights in the car will get tossed out into the oncoming lane. Rule three, do not lecture me on safe driving; I'm the best damn driver you've ever seen! I'll get us there in half the time! A third if you don't mind committing vehicular Manslaughter. Now that you know the rules, get in before I drive off with out you."
Everybody agreed and loaded into my vehicle. Luigi sat next to me in the passenger seat.
In the middle sat Mario, Peach, and Kirby. In the back sat Ness, Link, and Zelda. Roy volunteered to lay in the trunk with the luggage. I guess he didn't mind. We headed out.
" Which ramp do I take to get on the freeway, Luigi? "
" The I-105! " Luigi said, studding a map.
I moved into the lane next to me. I approached the ramp and was about to enter the freeway when I was cut off by a Red SUV.
" That Bastard cut me off! " I screamed with rage. I was so angry, I ripped the rear view mirror from the ceiling.
" Calm'a down! It's no big deal! " Mario said.
" Shut the hell up, you hunk of fat! " I screamed.
I sped up and rammed the back of the SUV. I went in the other lane and knocked it off the road into the embankment. I pulled to a stop and hopped out. I hurried to his tinted driver's side window.
" You dirty…" My fist flew through the window. The glass shattered as the force of my punch broke his jaw and most of his teeth. I then pulled his unconcious body onto the dirt. I gasped in surprise.
" Oh God! What've I done? " I ran back to the Falcon Flyer and sped off.
" What's the matter Cap'n Falcon? You look like you've seen a ghost! " Ness asked me.
" I... beat up a guy with no legs…" I said, shaking. " I think I broke his jaw…"
The car was deathly silent for the rest of the trip. After a good three or fours hours, we arrived at our destination. Lightning flashed as we pulled up to the house. It had an eerie presence to it.
" Okay, everybody off! " I said. I pulled to a stop. We went to get our belongings. I opened the trunk.
" Whew! Good thing you opened the trunk! I was starting to run out of air! " Roy said smiling.
Where grabbed our stuff and headed towards the large double doors. Luigi rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. Luigi was about to ring it again when the door slowly creaked open. We entered the main hall. It was a huge room with staircases running along both sides of the walls. A large, glass chandelier hung over head. The flames of the candles lit the dim room.
" Hmmm… Not a bad place… But everyone be careful. For all we know, there could some deranged psychopath on the loose. If that were the case, everyone except I would be killed. I say Mario would be the first to go. He can barely breathe when he walks quickly. Then probably Ness…" I said.
" Let's explore'a! " Luigi suggested. A loud crash is heard from up stairs.
" Uh-oh…" I set my bag down. " Okay, everybody arm themselves! I'm taking this." I reached for the assault rifle. Mario and Luigi picked up an Uzi each. Zelda and Peach look the dual pistols. Kirby armed himself with his Star Mallet. Roy and Link unsheathed their sword.
" Everyone, get in a formation. Mario, Luigi, get to my right! Link and Roy, get to my left. Everyone else, stay behind us! "
We head up the stairs. We opened the double door. It was pitch black. We heard footsteps to our right.
" Everyone! Fire! " I commanded. Small bursts of flames erupted as we fired at the unknown figure.
Suddenly, the light flashed on. We looked around the bullet- riddled room until we came upon the tattered remains of the figure.
" Toad! " Peach ran over to him. " Oh my God he's dead! "
" Well, his brains are splattered on the wall, I'm pretty sure he's dead! " Kirby pointed out.
" I guess we're having mushroom for dinner tonight…" Link said.
After a fine cuisine of Baked mushroom and red wine, each of us retired to our rooms.
I entered my room and turned on the lights. It was a large room with a queen-sized bed.
" They call this place a mansion? It doesn't even have a TV! " I said yawning. I laid down in bed and turned off the small lamp on the nightstand next to me. I awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of whispers.
" Who's there? " No reply. I went to turn the lamp on. It didn't work. Thinking quickly, I grabbed my flashlight and searched the room. A figure moved in the corner of my eye. I fixed the flashlight on it. It was a pale translucent blue. It was there for a split second before disappearing. It seemed to be laughing at me. I ran towards the door and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. I heard more laughing. I turned around to see several more of them. Each one a different shade. I ripped the door off the hinges and ran down the hall terrified. I arrived in the main hall. There, three others greeted me. Luigi, Link, Roy, and Ness.
" Thank God you're alive! We thought we were the only ones left! " Link exclaimed.
Next Chapter- Chapter 9: And the Ghosts Keep Rolling On
I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock.
" Huh? What the hell? It must've been a dream…"
I quickly took a shower and got dressed. I headed to the cafeteria to grab some grub. I just walked in when Luigi came charging through the entrance.
" Hey'a everybody! I won a mansion! For free'a! " Luigi yelled, triumphantly.
" Who the hell gives out free mansions? " Kirby demanded.
" Com'on, it's gotta be a trick! No one just gives away mansions! " I said with suspicion evident in my tone.
" Someone'a does. See'a? " He handed me a letter of notification.
It read:
Dear Mr.Luigi,
We are pleased to inform you that you've won a free mansion in our Hell House Sweepstakes. To claim your prize, you must bring eight of your friends, including your brother to the address provided. A caretaker will be waiting for you to claim your prize. The address is 1313 MockingBird Lane.
Yours truly, K.B.
" Isn't there something weird about this whole situation? " I asked.
" What'a do you mean? " Luigi asked puzzled.
" Okay, firstly, 1313 MockingBird Lane is from 'The Munsters'. Secondly, As far as I know, there is no Hell House Sweepstakes."
" You're just'a being paranoid'a. " Mario snapped. " Besides'a, it's not'a your mansion, it's ours! "
" Hey'a, who wants to'a go with me'a? " Luigi asked with cheer in his eyes.
" I've got to see what's up with this mansion crap…" I spoke with doubt in my voice.
" Sure let's go! " Roy said smiling.
" Hey, you're sure cheerful lately." Link said. " What's up? "
" I've received several shock treatment sessions. Everything is so beautiful and alive! "
" Oh my God, they fried your brain! You poor Bastard! " I said, shocked.
" Oh Mario, can I please come? " Peach asked Mario.
" Sure'a Peach! "
" Count me and Zelda in! Since you're rich now, can I borrow a couple hundred? " Link pleaded.
" Win'a your own mansion, you damn bum! " Luigi said with anger in his voice.
" Hey, maybe there'll be something I can steal… I need the money. I had to sell my Star to some damn teenagers! I know they'll wreck it…" Kirby whispered to himself. " I'll go! "
" Hey Lard Ass, you wanna come?" I asked Ness nicely.
" Wahhhhhhh! I'm not fat! I have an eating disorder! It's not funny! " Ness's words were cut out by his persistent crying.
" Stop it now or you get a boot to the face!" I tried to reason with Ness. With that, Ness grew deathly quiet.
Everyone went to start packing for the trip. I still had my doubts, so I packed my bags with various instruments of death. An assault rifle, twin Uzi's, duel Semi-auto pistols, and a real big knife I found underneath my bed. I had no idea how it got there. I went to the garage and pulled in front of the building. Everyone began loading their luggage in the trunk. I gave them a few of rules on the road.
"Rule number one, you dent my car, I dent your face. Rule two, who ever fights in the car will get tossed out into the oncoming lane. Rule three, do not lecture me on safe driving; I'm the best damn driver you've ever seen! I'll get us there in half the time! A third if you don't mind committing vehicular Manslaughter. Now that you know the rules, get in before I drive off with out you."
Everybody agreed and loaded into my vehicle. Luigi sat next to me in the passenger seat.
In the middle sat Mario, Peach, and Kirby. In the back sat Ness, Link, and Zelda. Roy volunteered to lay in the trunk with the luggage. I guess he didn't mind. We headed out.
" Which ramp do I take to get on the freeway, Luigi? "
" The I-105! " Luigi said, studding a map.
I moved into the lane next to me. I approached the ramp and was about to enter the freeway when I was cut off by a Red SUV.
" That Bastard cut me off! " I screamed with rage. I was so angry, I ripped the rear view mirror from the ceiling.
" Calm'a down! It's no big deal! " Mario said.
" Shut the hell up, you hunk of fat! " I screamed.
I sped up and rammed the back of the SUV. I went in the other lane and knocked it off the road into the embankment. I pulled to a stop and hopped out. I hurried to his tinted driver's side window.
" You dirty…" My fist flew through the window. The glass shattered as the force of my punch broke his jaw and most of his teeth. I then pulled his unconcious body onto the dirt. I gasped in surprise.
" Oh God! What've I done? " I ran back to the Falcon Flyer and sped off.
" What's the matter Cap'n Falcon? You look like you've seen a ghost! " Ness asked me.
" I... beat up a guy with no legs…" I said, shaking. " I think I broke his jaw…"
The car was deathly silent for the rest of the trip. After a good three or fours hours, we arrived at our destination. Lightning flashed as we pulled up to the house. It had an eerie presence to it.
" Okay, everybody off! " I said. I pulled to a stop. We went to get our belongings. I opened the trunk.
" Whew! Good thing you opened the trunk! I was starting to run out of air! " Roy said smiling.
Where grabbed our stuff and headed towards the large double doors. Luigi rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. Luigi was about to ring it again when the door slowly creaked open. We entered the main hall. It was a huge room with staircases running along both sides of the walls. A large, glass chandelier hung over head. The flames of the candles lit the dim room.
" Hmmm… Not a bad place… But everyone be careful. For all we know, there could some deranged psychopath on the loose. If that were the case, everyone except I would be killed. I say Mario would be the first to go. He can barely breathe when he walks quickly. Then probably Ness…" I said.
" Let's explore'a! " Luigi suggested. A loud crash is heard from up stairs.
" Uh-oh…" I set my bag down. " Okay, everybody arm themselves! I'm taking this." I reached for the assault rifle. Mario and Luigi picked up an Uzi each. Zelda and Peach look the dual pistols. Kirby armed himself with his Star Mallet. Roy and Link unsheathed their sword.
" Everyone, get in a formation. Mario, Luigi, get to my right! Link and Roy, get to my left. Everyone else, stay behind us! "
We head up the stairs. We opened the double door. It was pitch black. We heard footsteps to our right.
" Everyone! Fire! " I commanded. Small bursts of flames erupted as we fired at the unknown figure.
Suddenly, the light flashed on. We looked around the bullet- riddled room until we came upon the tattered remains of the figure.
" Toad! " Peach ran over to him. " Oh my God he's dead! "
" Well, his brains are splattered on the wall, I'm pretty sure he's dead! " Kirby pointed out.
" I guess we're having mushroom for dinner tonight…" Link said.
After a fine cuisine of Baked mushroom and red wine, each of us retired to our rooms.
I entered my room and turned on the lights. It was a large room with a queen-sized bed.
" They call this place a mansion? It doesn't even have a TV! " I said yawning. I laid down in bed and turned off the small lamp on the nightstand next to me. I awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of whispers.
" Who's there? " No reply. I went to turn the lamp on. It didn't work. Thinking quickly, I grabbed my flashlight and searched the room. A figure moved in the corner of my eye. I fixed the flashlight on it. It was a pale translucent blue. It was there for a split second before disappearing. It seemed to be laughing at me. I ran towards the door and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. I heard more laughing. I turned around to see several more of them. Each one a different shade. I ripped the door off the hinges and ran down the hall terrified. I arrived in the main hall. There, three others greeted me. Luigi, Link, Roy, and Ness.
" Thank God you're alive! We thought we were the only ones left! " Link exclaimed.
Next Chapter- Chapter 9: And the Ghosts Keep Rolling On