Author's Notes: Arigatou, minna! All those who reviewed...and gave me Bakura's name. I appreciate it. Even though I still haven't seen his kickass evil form, but I'm waiting patiently for the WB to repeat it. I know they will sometime...they repeat episodes like a broken record. Well, hope you enjoy the insanity. Oh, because I have to make myself clear it seems...these characters are...OOC! Don't expect them to be true to nature, since this is...after all...humor. For my own amusement...as well as Ed-Di-Oh's...who's computer broke. Poor, Eddy. But, I dedicate this chapter to him again. And to you all! Anyway, I'll shut up. Enjoy the strangeness.

Tristan raced down the hall of the castle, coming to a stop. He dried his eyes all melodramatically, dropping his gaze to the well-polished floor, "I bet Joey's not gonna come after me. He's probably too busy going after Yugi. His new best friend..." His eyes narrowed bitterly, and he 'hmphed.' "If I was more important to the story, maybe I'd go and turn on the both of them and become Pegasus's little monkey boy or something..."

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, and he collapsed against the wall halfheartedly, "Really...I got the short end of the stick. I've got no friends, a stupid dubbed voice that they changed halfway through the series, and they didn't even show the first season where I actually had some kind of point! This really stinks." Though, looking on the brighter side, he glanced upward. "At least my hair's not as weird as Yugi's..."

For the first moment since he got there, Tristan squinted, sweeping the hall with a glance. His hands deposited themselves in his pockets, and he stepped forward a bit. So, this was Pegasus's castle. It was a nice place, he supposed. Not as nice as Kaiba's cool house, but nice enough for a castle. He had never been in one before, so this was a new experience for him. Of course, how he got in, in the first place was beyond him. Stealthily (or about as stealthy as one could be with Tristan's height), he flattened himself against the wall, creeping along until he suddenly stopped short, hearing two voices around the corner. The youth peered over the side, looking toward two guards who seemed highly engrossed in a duel monsters game. Or...at least he had thought it was a duel monsters game.

One of the suited-men peered over his cards for a long contemplative moment. The minutes stretched out, seeming like hours until he glanced up toward his opponent, "Do you have... ... ..." He paused, dealing with some internal struggle before he just blurted out. "A Kuribo!"

"Nope. Go fish."

"Ah, damn it! I was so sure you'd have one in your deck..." He grumbled, reaching forward to draw a card from the pile.

Tristan raised his brows, and then sucked in a breath...making yet another not-so-stealthy movement past them. Lucky for him, they were so engrossed in their game that they barely noticed. He really had no set direction, just felt like moving away from the group outside. That was...until he heard some more voices. This time, they came from a conveniently opened room. He crept over to the chamber, and peeked in quietly.

Sitting in there, was Pegasus...who had one leg crossed over the next and he was swishing his grape juice around in a glass (come on, what did YOU think it was that he's always drinking, huh?). He glanced toward his oh-so-sexy reflection in the liquid's contents, and his eyes raised toward the guard who was in there. A pout creased those lips.

"Yugi and the others still haven't come here yet?" Pegasus sighed impatiently, whining his next words. "I'm growing rather bored...and I want someone to play with!"

"Master Pegasus...it seems...something...happened."

"What? Oh pooh, what happened now?"

"Well, uh...Yugi and Seto Kaiba walked off together without completing the duel..."

His eye widened, and then he narrowed it, "Damn! It's already happening!"

"W-what...sir?"

Pegasus pinched the bridge of his nose, "Never mind. Just get going. Make sure those two kids get here!"

"Yes, master Pegasus."

Tristan's eyes widened, and he ducked out of the way, watching the guard as he moved past. However, Pegasus's little magic eyeball there flashed, and his eye narrowed somewhat. He rose to his feet, stepping out the door...and when he saw the boy there, his features brightened, "Oh! It's you! That little boy that travels with Yugi! Come in, come in!"

Though, suddenly he remembered he was supposed to be the evil and menacing bad guy, and just cleared his throat, "I mean. What are you doing here?! Get in there right now!"

Tristan stumbled in through the door, and then sucked in a breath, deciding to do something meaningful, rather than just be a cheerleader, "Pegasus! Give Yugi his grandfather back right now!"

He paused, and then frowned, "Does it have to be right now...? I thought maybe we could have a little game, you know? For fun...? Pretty please...?"

The boy blinked, "Uh...aren't you supposed to be evil?"

"Yes! But, I'm just...so...dreadfully lonely..." Pegasus sighed heavily, trailing into the center of the room where he melodramatically clutched his chest. "You see...it's not easy to be the evil, insane bad guy. The only people you have around are stuff-shirt guards who simply protect you and don't know how to play little card games. I set up this island...for the children. I wanted to play with the little children. I wasn't meant to be an evil bad guy..."

"Um...isn't it a little bit too early for you to be giving out your motives?"

"No! Shut up and sit down!" Pegasus shoved him in the direction of the chair, and then, like any good homemaker, he poured him a glass of grape juice. "Drink up...grape juice is very good for you."

"O-okay..." Tristan began to regret ever going in there.

"Now...as I was saying...it isn't easy to be the insane bad guy. This game craze...Duel Monsters swept the nation, and once I got my millennium item, no one wanted to play with me. Of course that's because I always won, but still! The children should have been more than willing, but nooo. So, in order to get someone around here...I have to set up this island...put up a lot of prize money and kidnap little children's family members. I wanted to draw them here...especially Yugi and Kaiba."

The brunet eyed his grape juice for a long while, before he looked up toward him quickly, "W-why...them...?"

"Because!" He slammed a fist down on the table emotionally. "Because from the very moment the fangirls saw Kaiba and Yugi, they decided to plague the universe with fanfics revolving around them! Oh yes, and that Joey kid too. They pair them together, many times...disregarding poor ME! After I worked so hard to be the evil bad guy. I mean, I have silver-hair...and normally that's a good thing. But NO! They have ANOTHER silver-haired guy in here...who just so happens to have an evil side to him too! And then they go and write fics about him too!" Pegasus just branched off into sobs. "It's not fair...it's not fair...!"

Tristan blinked a couple times, "Well...uh...you know, Pegasus. The show is centered around Yugi..."

"I don't care! Aren't I evil enough...? I mean, come on...look at me!" He lifted his head, and then clutched the other's shirt with a rather desperate look. "I'm crazy...and beautiful...and evil! And insane!"

"Yes. Yes you are." Tristan prepared to run at some point.

"AND~! If it's yaoi they want...I can be the most yaoi-est person in the world! I mean...look at my hair! Or the way I cross my legs...!"

"...."

"Ahem. Anyway. So, I thought I could do something about all this fanfic craze..."

"What's...that...?" He was almost afraid of the answer.

Pegasus straightened himself up, dusting his outfit off, "I lured Seto Kaiba and Yugi here in order to duel them both! You see...if I win, then the fangirls will see how utterly wonderful I am, and decide to write something about me!"

Tristan sweatdropped. He wished he had just stayed with the others.

"It's an ingenious plan, don't you agree?"

"Um...yes! Yes, it is," He smiled semi-confidentally, trying his best to be believable.

"Excellent! Now...would you like to read a comic? I've got several!" He gathered several of his magazines, closing his eyes happily. "My personal favorite is Wonder Woman. She's just so smart...and beautiful and talented..."

Tristan blinked, and then reached for one of the comics, only to have his hand smacked away. Pegasus reached forward to clutch the magazines tightly against his chest, "You go wash your hands before you get your dirty fingerprints all over them."

The boy sighed, shaking his head. Now it was really no secret why Pegasus had to set everyone up in order to have them duel with him.

***

Bandit Keith remained standing there, smirking all evil-like at his new conquest. Of course, to remind everyone what he did, he just stated again, "So what will you do...now that I have this Millennium item...!"

Joey narrowed his eyes, "Hey...give dat back ya thief!"

"Heh...you think that that's going to work? That I'm just going to say 'okay' and hand it on over...? You got a lot to learn about stereotypical bad-guys with sunglasses and bad hair..."

Tea glanced between them, and shook her head to Joey as he tensed up, laying a hand on his shoulder, "Joey, please. Don't fight! That's not what the heart of the cards would want you to do. Along with our friendship. You shouldn't fight with anyone. Fighting isn't the answer. And so, I'll take care of it..."

"Uh...okay, Tea..." He decided to give in rather than hear one of her friendship monologues. Unless of course that was her plan. To just friendship monologue him to death. Oh god, he certainly hoped not.

The girl smiled, and then turned back toward the bad guy, narrowing her eyes in determination, "I'll duel you for them...!"

Behind her, both Joey and Bakura (thank you all! ^_^) did the classic anime collapse. The flaxen-haired duelist was the first up to his feet, "Tea, are you crazy?! With things like dat Little Petite Angel or whatever, ya've got no hope ta win! And Yugi's just gonna wind up losing his puzzle dere."

"I can duel, Joey...because I believe in the heart of the cards...!"

"Da heart of da cards sure didn't help Yugi out against Kaiba," He sweatdropped.

Bakura sighed. Well, once again, it was clear that he would have to be the brains of the group. And the fact that Keith hadn't run away by that point when he had ample opportunity thus proved that he was an idiot as well. There were several of them flocking around the Duelist Kingdom, weren't there? But, at least Joey was cool. He should have gone off with Yami Yugi, Kaiba, and Mai to get his own show or something. But, for now, the silver-haired boy, stepped up to Bandit Keith.

"Um...excuse me...?"

"Yeah, what d'ya want?" Keith narrowed his eyes, and although you couldn't see him do so, you just knew by the cool way his brows furrowed.

"You should really look behind you..." He glanced over his shoulder.

"Huh? Eh! I'm not as stupid as you think...!" The American puffed his chest up proudly.

"No. Really. I'm not lying. You should look behind you..."

"Hm...?" He looked toward the silver-haired boy suspiciously for a moment, again applying the same principle above with the sunglasses thing, and then glanced over his shoulder. Thus, proving beyond a doubt that us Americans were indeed rather dumb.

Bakura reached forward to pluck the Millennium Item from his grasp, replacing it with a candy necklace, and then stepped back, glancing back toward the others, "Well...we really must find Yugi now."

"What about Tristan...?" Tea blinked, glancing toward the others.

"Well, Yugi's more important, ya know. Da star of da show always is..." Joey nodded firmly. "I mean, ya saw in that flashback there how I suddenly became Yugi's best friend...even though I knew Tristan much longer and stuff. Of course, they had to show it in a flashback since dey completely neglected ta pick up da first season of da show, and derefore think dat dey could fill us in on what happened through poorly constructed flashbacks..."

"Yes..." Bakura sighed heavily. "They even wiped me completely out of the song, and I'm sure they wouldn't show me if they didn't absolutely have to."

"Uh yeah...who are you again?"

The silver-haired boy's eyebrow twitched slightly, and he glanced toward Keith who was still preoccupied with looking for that thing over his shoulder, "Well, we really should go look for Yugi then."

Joey nodded, but for once had an absolutely brilliant idea, "Hey, Tea...why don'tcha go look in da castle for Tristan...?" He grinned to himself. Yes, he could get rid of two birds with one stone...after all, he never meant for them to come along to the Duelist Kingdom in the first place! They just took it upon themselves to follow along.

"Huh...? But isn't it a little dangerous...?"

"Nah. Not for da...power of friendship, right?"

"Oh! Yes! That's right! The power of friendship will see me through this!" She nodded firmly, and then grinned. "Okay! I'll go get him...you can count on me, Joey!"

"All right! Go get 'im, Tea!"

The girl closed her eyes happily, and then rushed toward the entrance, glancing back at him one last time. Joey smirked, giving her a thumbs-up, and watched as she disappeared. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, "Thank god! Okay, let's go...um...kid...!"

Bakura ignored him, just heading down the path with Joey tagging along. Bandit Keith, however, still stood there, scratching the back of his head, "What am I s'posed to be seeing here anyway...?"

***

Kaiba dragged Yugi down to the docks, staring across the water absently. His trenchcoat swayed about in a hidden breeze, as it often did...but that was only for dramatic effect to make him look even cooler. He reached within his inside pocket, searching around for the cellphone, after all, he was the president of Kaiba corps, right? So, important, rich kids had to have a cellphone. Even if they weren't rich, they have one anyway...at least that's how things work on tv.

Yugi paused, glancing toward his new 'brother' and he listened as he ordered up a boat to pick them up just like any rich, president could on a whim, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean, innocent lives are at stake..."

Seto finished his phone conversation, narrowing his eyes slightly, "I thought I told you to be quiet."

"Yes, you did. But, still, Kaiba, this might not be the best solution..."

"You are still talking to me..."

"Yes, but, Kaiba...won't you listen to me?"

"I...told you NOT to talk to me..."

Yugi sighed heavily, shaking his head somewhat. Though, he blinked, "My Millennium puzzle!"

"Why...are you still talking...?" Seto spared a glance toward the boy, who probably more or less came up to his knee if you didn't count his hair.

"I'm not talking to you...I'm talking to myself!"

"I won't repeat myself again. No talking."

The duelist frowned, glancing off toward the water as he just fell silent. Surprisingly enough, Kaiba began to talk to him once again.

"So, I think when I buy your new grandpa...he'll be a lot taller than your old one. I swear, if that's how tall you're going to be when you get older, we're going to have to buy you some growth-hormones. And he won't wear a stupid bandana either..."

"Kaiba, what about Mokoba...?"

"Are you talking again? What did I tell you about that?"

"Kaiba! Answer me! What about those innocent people there in Pegasus's castle! Don't you even care about them?!"

"Not in particular. I'm the cold-hearted, unfeeling villain, remember? I mean, true...some fangirls think that you and me'd be a great pairing...but come on! You're way too short for me...and besides...Mai's more my type."

"But, you two don't even have any scenes together. At least I don't think you do. Maybe they erased them completely like they did the entire first season..." Yugi scratched his head in confusion.

"Whatever. I don't want you talking to me anymore. And you better not touch my stuff either...otherwise I'll have Pegasus make you into a card..."

Yugi blinked, "A card...? Mokoba's a card now?"

"...What did I just say?"

"Does he have actual attack power? Can he be played?"

"How the hell should I know? And why are you asking me stupid questions! Agh...Yugi! Can't you get it through your head? I. Don't. Like. You. Do I have to spell it out for you...?"

"Then why are you making me your new brother?"

"Because you're tall enough to be it!" Seto stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No one else seems to care about my height."

"No one else notices. They're all idiots."

"Hey, that's my friends you're talking about!"

"I thought...we established this whole...no-talking-to-me thing. Why are you still talking to me?"

The young boy sighed. This was hopeless. He certainly hoped his friends just-so-happened to come to the rescue and get him away from this, since he didn't know how anyone could stand to be Kaiba's little brother. Mokoba seemed more than willing to do so, but he was probably just an idiot and didn't know better. Oh well, Yugi hoped more than anything that the new grandpa that Kaiba was buying for him wouldn't collapse after playing a card game or get kidnapped by Pegasus like the last one did. By the way, he wondered how that happened. After all, they certainly didn't show it happening. Of course there were a lot of things they didn't show. For one, the entire first season!

Ah well, Yugi just glanced up at his new big brother, and then off toward the distance. Well, whatever happened...he was prepared to take it on naturally! Because, he was the star and all! Even though without his millennium item, he was just another random dork, but he would get it back! Yes, he had to! And those eyes narrowed somewhat in resolve.