**************************
Sorry it took me so long but finally - here's chapter 9. And in better English - thanks to willow for her betaing!!
If you still don't like it or think I deserve some tomatoes you might want to review. And please review if you like it.
It's your reviews that make me write more.
**************************
Chapter 9: Date
Max went to her room and searched for something to wear. She liked playing this game of dress up for her date. Of course it was only a game. What she wore wasn't important. Logan had seen her in the dress she wore at Bennett's wedding and he had seen her in nothing but a towel. Why should she worry about clothes? But somehow how she looked for him was important. Just . . . somehow.
She finally decided on dark jeans and a red pullover, and took them with her to the bathroom, where she took another shower and washed her hair. Taking her time with her hair and make-up, she smiled at the results in the mirror. Looking at her watch, she recognized that an hour had gone by already, so she hurried back to her room.
A little later she heard Logan's wheels on the hardwood floor, and then a knocking at the door. Max opened it to find Logan smiling at her. "You look gorgeous!" He said, making her grin in return.
He was wearing a pair of gray pants and under his thick black jacket she could see one of those turtleneck pullovers that made him look so cozy. For a moment she thought about forgetting about the date and staying at home, but then she decided against it, and replied, "You're not so bad yourself!"
"You ready? There's a taxi waiting for us."
She nodded. "Sure. Just need my jacket." She wondered briefly why he had called a taxi, but the minute she looked at him she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to drive them around on this date. She smiled to herself. There were worse things than taking a cab.
As he waited for Max to put on her jacket, Logan couldn't stop feeling like the luckiest person alive. He opened the door for her and followed her out to the car. It didn't take them long to get to the cinema and watching the cab pull away from the curb, Logan said, "I think we should get our tickets now, so we'll have good seats. Then we can have dinner, okay?"
Max nodded and followed him inside. Looking up to the screens presenting the movies that were shown, Logan asked: "So what do you want to watch?"
Max shrugged. "No idea. Don't know any of it."
"So just choose one. As far as I know, they're all good."
As she scanned the titles, one of them attracted her attention. "Sleepless in Seattle?" she suggested.
Logan smiled. "It's a really cute movie. Very romantic."
She smiled, too. "This is a date, so romantic is fine!"
Logan nodded. "I'll get the tickets." He turned around and wheeled to the cashier. The counters were quite high, made for people standing, and Logan felt a little ridiculous, but behaved as if it was nothing. No need to show Max. When they had gotten their tickets they went to a nearby restaurant.
Logan had been right, it was crowded with students but they were lucky and found a nice table in a corner. Logan wheeled to the table and put one chair aside. Max smiled at him when she sat down but he knew something was bothering her. He was used to being stared at, to have people look at him, but Max wasn't. Well, at least not this way. He knew that a lot of people, especially men, watched her wherever she went, but that was because of her great looks, not because of a disability. And now they were going out together, to a public place for the first time. Very different from a family wedding where everybody knew him. He hated for her to be stared at, but her smile told him she didn't care, so he said nothing.
As they smiled at each other, they were interrupted by the waitress. "What would you like to drink? And would you like to see the menu?"
Logan nodded and she handed them the menus. "I'd like to start with a glass of red wine," he told the waitress.
Max agreed. "Me, too."
"Thanks. I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu and be right back." The waitress disappeared and Max and Logan started looking at the menu.
"I can't believe how many choices there are. I'll never be able to decide!" Max said.
Logan laughed. "Close your eyes and point at something!" he suggested jokingly.
Max grinned. "Okay, I'll try!" When the waitress came back with the wine they had chosen, they were ready to place their orders.
"Logan?"
"Huh?"
"Was it like this before the Pulse in Seattle, too?" Max wanted to know.
Logan shrugged. "Kind of. There have always been differences between the U.S. and Europe but if you mean that you could go to a restaurant, eat whatever you wanted to and that kind of stuff, then the answer is yes. It was a lot like this. When I was a kid, my Dad often took us to very expensive restaurants and I hated it. The food was delicious, of course, but everything was so serious and you had to behave well. I decided then that I would never ever go to that kind of restaurant again if I didn't absolutely have to. Luxurious meals are for at home, but if you're lazy, I'd rather come to a place like this, that's not so uptight."
Max smiled. "I think I prefer this, too. Not to your home-cooked dinners, though." Still smiling she took Logan's hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it. He smiled back and felt very lucky.
Max wanted to know. "What's a movie theater like?"
"It's kind of a mix between theatre and TV."
"Well, that explains it," she said sarcastically. "Logan, I've never been to the theatre either!"
He couldn't help giggling. "Don't worry, Max. It'll be fine. It's like watching TV with a lot of other people. We'll have popcorn, drink Coke and just enjoy it. I managed to get two seats next to the aisle in the last row, so I'll be right beside you the whole time."
"Okay." For a moment Logan thought he heard something like relief in her voice - but that couldn't be. Max, nervous about going to the movies?
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm a little worried about all of this. I haven't had a lot of dates in my life and this is important to me. I'm afraid I'll screw it up."
The adorable look she was giving him was irresistible, but so was the fact that she was really sharing her feelings with him. With a wide grin he tucked a curl behind her ear and said, "You can't screw this up, Max. Everything is fine - more than fine, actually. I love you, you don't have to be afraid of anything."
"I'm afraid I could even screw this up. I'm quite good at it, actually. But I'll try not to think about it. I think our dinner is here!" She looked into the direction where the waitress was heading towards them with two plates.
They enjoyed their meals, sharing bites of each other's meals, and every once in a while noticing that the other one was smiling.
When they had finished dinner Logan entertained Max during dinner by telling some of his childhood memories of his grandparents. When they finished, it was almost time for the movie, and they went back to the theater. Together they decided on sharing popcorn and Coke and, carrying it all, they took the elevator to the right room. Logan showed Max where to sit down and transferred to the seat next to her. Folding his chair he pushed it aside so nobody would stumble over it.
Max discovered that the arm rests where movable and pushed it up so she could cuddle closer to Logan. When he laid his arm around her, she kissed him on the cheek and said, "I think I like movie theaters a lot!"
He grinned. "You'll like it even more when the lights are turned off."
Still smiling, Max said, "I think I understand why movies where so popular for teenagers on dates before the Pulse."
When the advertisements started, Max was fascinated by the variety of products that were shown. "You can actually buy all this stuff?" she asked.
Logan nodded. "Yeah. We should go shopping tomorrow!"
"That's a good idea!"
"I assume you don't have to wear anything for New Year's Eve and need to buy some new clothes, right?"
Max smiled. "Maybe."
Finally the lights were turned off and the movie started. Both watched in silence until the scene with Annie and her Mom talking about "magic" was shown. Logan couldn't stop the smile spreading all over his face. Magic. Yeah, that's exactly what it was with Max. Magic. From the moment he met her first until this very moment. He pulled her tight and kissed the top of her head, then put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. When she saw his smile she knew exactly what he was thinking, and cuddled even closer. Magic.
They continued watching until Sam started speaking about his dead wife. "You touch her for the first time, and suddenly...you're home." Logan felt Max move and looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes, and he got a little scared. "Everything okay?" he whispered.
Max nodded. "More than okay. It's just the way it feels with you too." He wept her tears away and again smiling she kissed him.
When the movie was finished, Max and Logan stayed seated until everybody else had left the room. Logan couldn't believe how much the movie had touched Max and asked, "Max? You all right?"
She smiled at him. "Yeah, just thinking. Let's get out of here."
Logan moved to his chair and followed Max outside. "So, you did like the movie?"
"Yeah. I liked the movie, I liked being at the movies, and I liked being next to you. Thanks for this, Logan."
"I should be the one thanking you, Max. But you know, a date is only over when I've brought you home."
Max grinned. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"But I don't want to get home right this second. I don't want this evening to end!" she said, and Logan took her hand.
"Me neither. Any ideas?"
"There's a park over there."
"But it's pretty dark and there's a lot of snow. I don't want to get stuck. What do you think of walking home instead of driving?"
"Fine with me."
Logan wheeled away from the main street to a smaller and less crowded one and they started their way back. "It'll take us about an hour." he commented.
Max nodded. "I can do that."
"Me too. Except if I get stuck in the snow."
"Oh, well, you know, I might decide to help you," Max kidded and Logan loved it. They walked without speaking for a while. Max was deep in her thoughts, and Logan smiled when he felt her laying a hand on his shoulder. "Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"What's it like to have had parents that loved you and to lose them?"
Logan had expected a lot of questions but not that one. "Parents?"
"I was thinking about the little boy in the movie. Joshua. He was so cute, and the love between him and his Dad was obvious. I wondered what it would feel like, to have been loved as a kid."
Logan pushed his wheels a few times before answering. "But you've always been loved, even as a kid. What about Zack, what about your other siblings? They loved you."
"I know. But it wasn't the same as having parents. I'm more interested in the love between children and parents. What's it like?"
Logan needed some time to find the right words. "When you're a child, you don't think about your parents loving you or loving them back. You just take it for granted, as long as you have it. You assume that your parents will always be there for you, that they'll always protect you. Parental love is very much about protection. When you grow older you learn that your parents will not be able to protect you from everything but you know for sure that they'll always try. That they'll do their very best. And that's what makes you stick together, that's what makes you a family." He hesitated, then said, "Sorry, it's hard to explain."
"You did fine, Logan. Thank you. But what about when your parents died? What was that like?"
"I felt very alone and very unprotected. All of a sudden there is nobody you can always run to and who will protect you, even when you've done something wrong. Suddenly you're responsible for everything you do. On your own. It takes some time to get used to their missing support and to learn how to do it yourself. I guess it's a little bit like you felt after leaving Manticore. Not that bad, but a little like it."
He turned around to see her and found her staring at the ground. "Max?"
"Sorry. Yeah, maybe losing your parents is like being separated from your brothers and sisters and from the life you know. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to have a family. I try to live a normal life every day, but every day I have to learn that I'm not supposed to actually succeed. In a normal life you don't get seizures, don't have crazy brothers like Zack and ..."
Logan interrupted her sentence. ".. and don't have friends in wheelchairs. There is nothing like a 'normal life,' Max. Every life is different and in every life you have to face other obstacles. And that's got nothing to do with having a family. You've proved more than once that you are able to love and to care. And to protect. That's what you need for a family. I don't know how often I'd have died without your protection."
Now it was on Max to interrupt.: "And I without yours. You're the most protective person I know. You're my guardian angel."
"I wish I could do more. Protect you from everything that's happening around you."
Max smiled. "I know. But you don't have to. You're not my father."
Logan stopped his chair, turned around and pulled her down for a kiss. "Thank God for that! Max I don't know about the biological stuff, but I know you and I know you'll be the best mother any child could hope for. But you've all the time in the world. You don't have to think of planning a family now!"
She nodded. "Yeah. All the time in the world."
They continued to walk home and Max asked suddenly, "Can I ask you another question?"
Logan sighed a little. Her questions were getting harder. "Sure."
"How comes you know so much? You always have an answer for everything."
It took him a moment to realize that she was joking and he again stopped and turned around: "You're getting a little saucy!"
She climbed on his lap and answered, "Thank you, Logan. Thank you for trying to answer even the most silly questions."
"Your questions have never been silly. But difficult. And I'm really tired."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to kiss him passionately. "When you're doing this I want to get home even sooner,." he said, and made Max'ss thoughts drift into another direction. After what she had learned yesterday, she was wondering what being intimate with Logan would be like.
She didn't want to go faster than necessary. After all the time they had known each other one night more or less wasn't important, but she had never been intimate with somebody she actually loved. And never with somebody who was paralyzed. And never with Logan. She felt the conflicting emotions of fear and anticipation collide inside her as she stood up and whispered in Logan's ear, "So let's go home."
Sorry it took me so long but finally - here's chapter 9. And in better English - thanks to willow for her betaing!!
If you still don't like it or think I deserve some tomatoes you might want to review. And please review if you like it.
It's your reviews that make me write more.
**************************
Chapter 9: Date
Max went to her room and searched for something to wear. She liked playing this game of dress up for her date. Of course it was only a game. What she wore wasn't important. Logan had seen her in the dress she wore at Bennett's wedding and he had seen her in nothing but a towel. Why should she worry about clothes? But somehow how she looked for him was important. Just . . . somehow.
She finally decided on dark jeans and a red pullover, and took them with her to the bathroom, where she took another shower and washed her hair. Taking her time with her hair and make-up, she smiled at the results in the mirror. Looking at her watch, she recognized that an hour had gone by already, so she hurried back to her room.
A little later she heard Logan's wheels on the hardwood floor, and then a knocking at the door. Max opened it to find Logan smiling at her. "You look gorgeous!" He said, making her grin in return.
He was wearing a pair of gray pants and under his thick black jacket she could see one of those turtleneck pullovers that made him look so cozy. For a moment she thought about forgetting about the date and staying at home, but then she decided against it, and replied, "You're not so bad yourself!"
"You ready? There's a taxi waiting for us."
She nodded. "Sure. Just need my jacket." She wondered briefly why he had called a taxi, but the minute she looked at him she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to drive them around on this date. She smiled to herself. There were worse things than taking a cab.
As he waited for Max to put on her jacket, Logan couldn't stop feeling like the luckiest person alive. He opened the door for her and followed her out to the car. It didn't take them long to get to the cinema and watching the cab pull away from the curb, Logan said, "I think we should get our tickets now, so we'll have good seats. Then we can have dinner, okay?"
Max nodded and followed him inside. Looking up to the screens presenting the movies that were shown, Logan asked: "So what do you want to watch?"
Max shrugged. "No idea. Don't know any of it."
"So just choose one. As far as I know, they're all good."
As she scanned the titles, one of them attracted her attention. "Sleepless in Seattle?" she suggested.
Logan smiled. "It's a really cute movie. Very romantic."
She smiled, too. "This is a date, so romantic is fine!"
Logan nodded. "I'll get the tickets." He turned around and wheeled to the cashier. The counters were quite high, made for people standing, and Logan felt a little ridiculous, but behaved as if it was nothing. No need to show Max. When they had gotten their tickets they went to a nearby restaurant.
Logan had been right, it was crowded with students but they were lucky and found a nice table in a corner. Logan wheeled to the table and put one chair aside. Max smiled at him when she sat down but he knew something was bothering her. He was used to being stared at, to have people look at him, but Max wasn't. Well, at least not this way. He knew that a lot of people, especially men, watched her wherever she went, but that was because of her great looks, not because of a disability. And now they were going out together, to a public place for the first time. Very different from a family wedding where everybody knew him. He hated for her to be stared at, but her smile told him she didn't care, so he said nothing.
As they smiled at each other, they were interrupted by the waitress. "What would you like to drink? And would you like to see the menu?"
Logan nodded and she handed them the menus. "I'd like to start with a glass of red wine," he told the waitress.
Max agreed. "Me, too."
"Thanks. I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu and be right back." The waitress disappeared and Max and Logan started looking at the menu.
"I can't believe how many choices there are. I'll never be able to decide!" Max said.
Logan laughed. "Close your eyes and point at something!" he suggested jokingly.
Max grinned. "Okay, I'll try!" When the waitress came back with the wine they had chosen, they were ready to place their orders.
"Logan?"
"Huh?"
"Was it like this before the Pulse in Seattle, too?" Max wanted to know.
Logan shrugged. "Kind of. There have always been differences between the U.S. and Europe but if you mean that you could go to a restaurant, eat whatever you wanted to and that kind of stuff, then the answer is yes. It was a lot like this. When I was a kid, my Dad often took us to very expensive restaurants and I hated it. The food was delicious, of course, but everything was so serious and you had to behave well. I decided then that I would never ever go to that kind of restaurant again if I didn't absolutely have to. Luxurious meals are for at home, but if you're lazy, I'd rather come to a place like this, that's not so uptight."
Max smiled. "I think I prefer this, too. Not to your home-cooked dinners, though." Still smiling she took Logan's hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it. He smiled back and felt very lucky.
Max wanted to know. "What's a movie theater like?"
"It's kind of a mix between theatre and TV."
"Well, that explains it," she said sarcastically. "Logan, I've never been to the theatre either!"
He couldn't help giggling. "Don't worry, Max. It'll be fine. It's like watching TV with a lot of other people. We'll have popcorn, drink Coke and just enjoy it. I managed to get two seats next to the aisle in the last row, so I'll be right beside you the whole time."
"Okay." For a moment Logan thought he heard something like relief in her voice - but that couldn't be. Max, nervous about going to the movies?
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm a little worried about all of this. I haven't had a lot of dates in my life and this is important to me. I'm afraid I'll screw it up."
The adorable look she was giving him was irresistible, but so was the fact that she was really sharing her feelings with him. With a wide grin he tucked a curl behind her ear and said, "You can't screw this up, Max. Everything is fine - more than fine, actually. I love you, you don't have to be afraid of anything."
"I'm afraid I could even screw this up. I'm quite good at it, actually. But I'll try not to think about it. I think our dinner is here!" She looked into the direction where the waitress was heading towards them with two plates.
They enjoyed their meals, sharing bites of each other's meals, and every once in a while noticing that the other one was smiling.
When they had finished dinner Logan entertained Max during dinner by telling some of his childhood memories of his grandparents. When they finished, it was almost time for the movie, and they went back to the theater. Together they decided on sharing popcorn and Coke and, carrying it all, they took the elevator to the right room. Logan showed Max where to sit down and transferred to the seat next to her. Folding his chair he pushed it aside so nobody would stumble over it.
Max discovered that the arm rests where movable and pushed it up so she could cuddle closer to Logan. When he laid his arm around her, she kissed him on the cheek and said, "I think I like movie theaters a lot!"
He grinned. "You'll like it even more when the lights are turned off."
Still smiling, Max said, "I think I understand why movies where so popular for teenagers on dates before the Pulse."
When the advertisements started, Max was fascinated by the variety of products that were shown. "You can actually buy all this stuff?" she asked.
Logan nodded. "Yeah. We should go shopping tomorrow!"
"That's a good idea!"
"I assume you don't have to wear anything for New Year's Eve and need to buy some new clothes, right?"
Max smiled. "Maybe."
Finally the lights were turned off and the movie started. Both watched in silence until the scene with Annie and her Mom talking about "magic" was shown. Logan couldn't stop the smile spreading all over his face. Magic. Yeah, that's exactly what it was with Max. Magic. From the moment he met her first until this very moment. He pulled her tight and kissed the top of her head, then put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. When she saw his smile she knew exactly what he was thinking, and cuddled even closer. Magic.
They continued watching until Sam started speaking about his dead wife. "You touch her for the first time, and suddenly...you're home." Logan felt Max move and looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes, and he got a little scared. "Everything okay?" he whispered.
Max nodded. "More than okay. It's just the way it feels with you too." He wept her tears away and again smiling she kissed him.
When the movie was finished, Max and Logan stayed seated until everybody else had left the room. Logan couldn't believe how much the movie had touched Max and asked, "Max? You all right?"
She smiled at him. "Yeah, just thinking. Let's get out of here."
Logan moved to his chair and followed Max outside. "So, you did like the movie?"
"Yeah. I liked the movie, I liked being at the movies, and I liked being next to you. Thanks for this, Logan."
"I should be the one thanking you, Max. But you know, a date is only over when I've brought you home."
Max grinned. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"But I don't want to get home right this second. I don't want this evening to end!" she said, and Logan took her hand.
"Me neither. Any ideas?"
"There's a park over there."
"But it's pretty dark and there's a lot of snow. I don't want to get stuck. What do you think of walking home instead of driving?"
"Fine with me."
Logan wheeled away from the main street to a smaller and less crowded one and they started their way back. "It'll take us about an hour." he commented.
Max nodded. "I can do that."
"Me too. Except if I get stuck in the snow."
"Oh, well, you know, I might decide to help you," Max kidded and Logan loved it. They walked without speaking for a while. Max was deep in her thoughts, and Logan smiled when he felt her laying a hand on his shoulder. "Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"What's it like to have had parents that loved you and to lose them?"
Logan had expected a lot of questions but not that one. "Parents?"
"I was thinking about the little boy in the movie. Joshua. He was so cute, and the love between him and his Dad was obvious. I wondered what it would feel like, to have been loved as a kid."
Logan pushed his wheels a few times before answering. "But you've always been loved, even as a kid. What about Zack, what about your other siblings? They loved you."
"I know. But it wasn't the same as having parents. I'm more interested in the love between children and parents. What's it like?"
Logan needed some time to find the right words. "When you're a child, you don't think about your parents loving you or loving them back. You just take it for granted, as long as you have it. You assume that your parents will always be there for you, that they'll always protect you. Parental love is very much about protection. When you grow older you learn that your parents will not be able to protect you from everything but you know for sure that they'll always try. That they'll do their very best. And that's what makes you stick together, that's what makes you a family." He hesitated, then said, "Sorry, it's hard to explain."
"You did fine, Logan. Thank you. But what about when your parents died? What was that like?"
"I felt very alone and very unprotected. All of a sudden there is nobody you can always run to and who will protect you, even when you've done something wrong. Suddenly you're responsible for everything you do. On your own. It takes some time to get used to their missing support and to learn how to do it yourself. I guess it's a little bit like you felt after leaving Manticore. Not that bad, but a little like it."
He turned around to see her and found her staring at the ground. "Max?"
"Sorry. Yeah, maybe losing your parents is like being separated from your brothers and sisters and from the life you know. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to have a family. I try to live a normal life every day, but every day I have to learn that I'm not supposed to actually succeed. In a normal life you don't get seizures, don't have crazy brothers like Zack and ..."
Logan interrupted her sentence. ".. and don't have friends in wheelchairs. There is nothing like a 'normal life,' Max. Every life is different and in every life you have to face other obstacles. And that's got nothing to do with having a family. You've proved more than once that you are able to love and to care. And to protect. That's what you need for a family. I don't know how often I'd have died without your protection."
Now it was on Max to interrupt.: "And I without yours. You're the most protective person I know. You're my guardian angel."
"I wish I could do more. Protect you from everything that's happening around you."
Max smiled. "I know. But you don't have to. You're not my father."
Logan stopped his chair, turned around and pulled her down for a kiss. "Thank God for that! Max I don't know about the biological stuff, but I know you and I know you'll be the best mother any child could hope for. But you've all the time in the world. You don't have to think of planning a family now!"
She nodded. "Yeah. All the time in the world."
They continued to walk home and Max asked suddenly, "Can I ask you another question?"
Logan sighed a little. Her questions were getting harder. "Sure."
"How comes you know so much? You always have an answer for everything."
It took him a moment to realize that she was joking and he again stopped and turned around: "You're getting a little saucy!"
She climbed on his lap and answered, "Thank you, Logan. Thank you for trying to answer even the most silly questions."
"Your questions have never been silly. But difficult. And I'm really tired."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to kiss him passionately. "When you're doing this I want to get home even sooner,." he said, and made Max'ss thoughts drift into another direction. After what she had learned yesterday, she was wondering what being intimate with Logan would be like.
She didn't want to go faster than necessary. After all the time they had known each other one night more or less wasn't important, but she had never been intimate with somebody she actually loved. And never with somebody who was paralyzed. And never with Logan. She felt the conflicting emotions of fear and anticipation collide inside her as she stood up and whispered in Logan's ear, "So let's go home."