***********************
I know this is a little confusing, but I decided to actually write about the trip to the North Sea, 'cause I totally agreed with JoJo that the end of Chapter 10 was a little rushed. So I changed it and instead of two sentences you get two chapters.
Thanks for this chapter go to willow -as usual - for her betaing (I can't believe anybody read the first eight chapters which haven't been betaed) and a fan who had some great ideas and inspired my muse :-)
I got homesick writing this chapter, so be nice if you get bored by the journey, but once I started writing about the landscape I couldn't stop. Otherwise: Enjoy!
***********************
Chapter 11: North Sea
Max and Logan agreed with his grandparents on the idea of having a vacation-within-a-vacation and packed their stuff that night before going to bed.
They started out the next morning after breakfast. Sarah and Steven had already loaded everything in the car they might need, and when Max and Logan appeared, they were already waiting for them.
"These young people, Sarah, always late for everything," Steven kidded.
Max smiled. "Not for everything."
They took the same seats they had occupied the day before, Max sitting behind Logan, her hand resting on his shoulder. Logan was looking out of the window, enjoying the drive along empty country roads. In this part of the country there was almost no industry, just a lot of agriculture. These days in Europe there was almost no business that would make people rich, but at least most of the farmers seemed to do okay. As far as he knew, the crisis of the 1990s had passed and in contradiction to most predictions, even small farms had survived by changing to ecological agriculture.
Although there wasn't much to see at this time of the year, Logan enjoyed gazing at the landscape as they drove along. Everything was so flat here. No mountains, not even rolling hills. Very different from the Olympic Mountains and the cascades he was used to.
Eventually Max asked from the backseat, "What are all the shrubs and bushes for, that we're seeing along the road everywhere?"
"Before they invented barbed wire fences, it was too much work to build fences around all the fields to show where your field ended and your neighbor's started. Or to keep the cows and horses from running away. So the farmers started to plant those shrubs. Today they are part of the landscape and the ecological system. It's not allowed to cut them down as there are a lot of animals living in and around the so called 'knicks,'" Steven explained.
"Knicks?" Max tried to repeat but failed miserably. "What a funny word." But she seemed to be satisfied with the answer. "I can't believe how flat everything is here. Aren't there any hills?"
Steven chuckled. "No, no hills around. That's because of the Ice Age. The glaciers flattened the landscape. The wind and the water did the rest."
"The water?" Max asked, surprised.
"Not here, but when we get to the North Sea you'll see the huge shallows. Not so many centuries ago that all used to be land. The fight against the water is a never-ending one. Last century they tried to fight it by bringing tons of sand to the beaches so they won't disappear, but with every flood the islands get a little smaller and with every storm-flood they get a LOT smaller."
"So the land is sinking?"
Steven turned out to be a good teacher of regional geography. "Yeah. If the U.S. had stayed the superpower they were and had continued to produce so much carbon dioxide, together with the rest of the world, global warming would have continued the same way it had started and this area would have been one of the first to suffer from the Poles' melting and would have sunk into the sea."
Sarah stated sarcastically, "So finally we've found something to like about the Pulse."
Steven laughed, "If that's the way you want to put it - yeah. The people here have a nice saying about the flatness, left over from the days when there where no cars: 'You can always see who's coming for dinner tomorrow.'"
Now it was Logan's turn to laugh. "You don't have to live on flat land to know that. I always know who's coming for dinner, too."
Max got the hint and answered, "Oh, if you don't like it, just tell me. I'll return to sandwiches and take-out then."
Steven grinned at Logan next to him. "Maybe you should go a little easier on Max."
"And keep feeding her? You've seen how much this girl can eat."
"Come on, Logan, you're so mean!" Max shouted from behind him and Logan laughed again.
"Okay, okay, feel free to raid my fridge whenever you want to."
"I will, thanks."
When they got to the coast Steven continued with his explanations, telling them about how dikes were built and how the people where trying to preserve and recover the land lost to the sea. Logan smiled at his grandfather. He was the type of person who'd never stay a stranger, no matter where he went. When they had decided to move to Europe he had started to study everything about the land, the culture and the people. No question he could continue talking for days, but luckily they arrived at the harbor.
"Where are we going now?" Max asked.
Sarah explained, "We're going to take the ferry to the islands. It won't take long."
"One of the islands that's sinking into the sea?"
Logan and Steven laughed at Max's question, and Steven replied, "No need to worry. The islands are safe, and we're not going on a 'Hallig.'"
"You're confusing me today. Too much information at one time," Max complained. "What's that again?"
"A Hallig is a small island that is so close to sea level that it sinks every once in a while. All it needs is a flood that's a little higher than normal to make the land disappear. All the houses there are built on wooden legs so they look out over the water."
"But the island we're going to is higher. Definitely no need to worry. They have traditional houses, built from stone at ground level," Sarah said.
Max looked skeptical but was sure the Parkers knew what they were talking about.
The ferry trip only took about half an hour, and since the weather was fine and it wasn't windy, nobody got sick.
Leaving the ferry and driving the short distance to the cabin, Max looked at the tiny little houses everywhere. They were adorable, built from brick with thatched roofs, according to Steven. She loved the little stone walls in front of the houses with the small white picket fences on top of them and looked pleased when Steven stopped the car in front of one.
They all followed Sarah to the entrance. Steven looked a little worried when he saw the step but Logan just smiled and managed without a problem.
The inside of the house was as cute as the outside. The decor was very nice, showing the owners' connection to the sea. Pictures of the beach and the sea, pictures of ships and ships-in-bottles, and a large oven in the living room that was obviously only used as a chimney and not for actual heating, made the place more cozy than Max had expected.
"This is so cute," she commented.
Logan smiled at her. "Yeah, it is."
Sarah stuck her head out from what appeared to be the kitchen and said, "There's a bedroom down here where you'll be staying. We'll take the one upstairs."
Max and Logan nodded and followed Sarah to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. "We need to go and buy some food if we don't want to starve," Sarah told them and "We'll just have a look upstairs and we'll be ready to go."
Logan nodded. "Take your time. We'll be in the living room."
Max threw her bag on a chair and laid down on the bed. "I love this house, Logan. Everything's so neat and cute and lovely."
"I like it, too. Steven mentioned that it was one of the last houses that was built so close to the sea. Today it's prohibited for ecological reasons."
"So we're lucky this cabin is old enough."
"Yeah, we are. Is this door leading to a bathroom?" he asked but as Max hadn't opened it and shrugged, he had a look. "It is a bathroom. So we have one of our own."
"And do not have to use the one on the second floor." Max smiled. "Shall we go and meet your grandparents? Do you know where the supermarket is?"
"No idea, but Grandpa will know."
Logan was right and the store wasn't far away. It only took them a few minutes to walk to a supermarket Max and Logan would dream about once they were back home. It was enormous, stocked with everything they could think of and then some. They bought everything they thought they might want to eat in the next few days and Logan was already preparing some culinary miracles in his head. Turning to Sarah he offered to cook that afternoon, and when Max said enthusiastically, 'Oh yeah!' Sarah and Steven both laughed and happily agreed.
Coming back to the cabin, Logan and Sarah went to the kitchen to get lunch started, and Max had a closer look at the house. In the first floor there was only the bedroom Sarah and Steven were sleeping in and a huge bathroom with a bathtub. The door next to the bedroom was leading to an empty room that was a kid's room as there were dozens of toys in the shelves. White picket fences, Max thought, I could definitely get used to this. Downstairs she opened the door leading to the backyard and was surprised to find Steven there. "Hey!" she greeted him.
"Hey Max. Did they throw you out of the kitchen?"
"To be honest, I never went in. I'm really lousy when it comes to cooking, so that's Logan's job. I can do the cleaning afterwards."
Steven smiled and turned away. Max followed his gaze and was surprised. "Wow, we're really on the beach," she remarked. "Logan told me the house was built close to the sea, but I didn't expect once you left the terrace you'd be right on the beach."
"But you are. And the beach is wide and long here."
"Yeah, it really is. And the sand is so fine and white. I can't wait to go for a walk!" she told Steven full of anticipation, but suddenly realized, "Oh, or maybe I won't."
"Max, I'm sure Logan won't mind if you go for a walk at the beach."
"I know, it's just that I would love to do it with him. We tried at your place, where the sand was frozen, but it didn't work well."
Steven's smile disappeared and he asked very seriously, "Is it important for you? To do things Logan might never be able to do?"
"Like go for a walk at the beach?" Max asked back. "No, it's not. I love the beach and the sea but it's definitely nothing I would give up Logan for. I can't imagine there's anything I would give up Logan for," she continued and made Steven laugh.
He put his arm around her and said, "You're a good girl, Max. Please forgive my question, but I don't want Logan to get hurt. Again."
"It's okay. I don't want him to get hurt either."
"So do you think we should check how far they've gotten with lunch?"
Instead of an answer, Max's stomach made itself heard. Both giggled and went inside.
They had dinner together and Max was once again amazed at how eating was such a pleasure. Before she had gotten to know Logan and had started to have dinner with him, eating had always been something you had to do to survive, not something that was enjoyable. But now it was. Everyone was talking, they were making plans and when they finally decided to go on a walk to look at all the nice little houses and the small shops in the village to spend the afternoon, Max and Steven had to hurry to clean up so they'd have enough time before the sun set.
Logan watched Max the whole afternoon, surprised at how feminine she seemed to him. Since she wasn't hiding behind her "tough-ass attitude," as he had once called it, instead enjoying the landscape and the island, he had the chance to notice her feminine side.
Wheeling behind his grandparents, Max next to him, he was already starting to miss her touch. He wondered about it, then did something to correct the problem; when they stopped in front of a little shop that was offering do-it-yourself pottery, he carefully took her hand.
Max had been focused on the woman inside, but came back to reality when she felt Logan's hand around hers. Looking down at him, she saw his insecure smile that made him look like a little puppy. Her face formed a smile, too, and she returned the gentle squeeze. She had never expected Logan to be so endearingly romantic, showing his affection so openly.
When they continued their walk and he needed his hand for wheeling, she rested her hand on his shoulder, just to stay in contact.
They stopped at a bakery before going back and got some cake they wanted to have with their coffee. Back in the house Logan started the coffee and Steven fired up the oven. Only a few minutes later they were all sitting in the living room, eating the cake and drinking coffee. Max was sitting in front of the oven, enjoying the warmth at her back and glancing at Logan who had stopped next to her. He glanced back and lovingly tucked a curl behind her ear, earning him a smile from Max.
"Do you come here often?" Logan wanted to know from his grandparents. "You said this cabin belongs to a cousin of yours?"
Sarah nodded, "Yes, it does. Steven's cousin Martin. He's skiing and left us the key in case we wanted to come here."
"That's really nice," Max said. "I love it here."
Sarah smiled and asked, "Did you hear the story of why he bought this house?"
Logan shook his head. "Nope."
Sarah looked at Steven and he started to tell them. "When Martin and his wife Anne were not yet married and were both still living with their parents, they didn't really have much of a chance to be...you know..."
Max and Logan smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we know," Logan said, adding, "Parents in the room next door can be really disturbing."
Steven continued, "So they started searching for a way to go on small vacations as often as possible. Anne told her parents she was staying with a friend and Martin did the same and they both took the opportunity to come here. At that time it was still allowed to camp in the dunes and that's what they did. When they grew older and got married, they didn't need a place to hide, but they still loved to come here. But eventually camping in the dunes was forbidden and they had to go to a camping place or to rent a cabin or whatever. They still did that and when they were here they found out that the old lady who had lived here had died. The heirs didn't want to keep the house and so Martin and Anne were able to buy it for a good price."
Max grinned. "So they are still coming here to be... you know..."
Steven laughed at her choice of words. "Yeah, I think that's why they bought it. It's in the dunes and reminds them of the good old times."
"They sound like a happy couple," Max remarked, and Steven and Sarah both nodded.
They didn't stop talking until Sarah asked, "Did anyone have plans for tonight? Because it's already dark outside and I'm afraid it's started to rain."
All shrugged and Logan proposed, "Why don't we stay here? I'll make dinner."
Max smiled, "You cooking dinner is always a great option. At least for me."
When he smiled back, she leaned over to kiss him.
Logan and Sarah disappeared in the kitchen and left Max and Steven alone.
"So, what are we supposed to do?" Steven asked.
Max shrugged. "We could set the table, but that won't take long."
Steven nodded and they put the plates and silverware on the table in the small hallway that was used as a dining room.
When they were finished, Steven asked, "Do you know how to play chess?"
Max thought of the many times she had beaten Logan and a grin spread across her face. "Yeah, sure. Do we have a chess set here?"
Steven nodded and got it from a cupboard in the living room. Max wondered if she should let him win, but decided it wouldn't be necessary. Winning a game of chess didn't have to be based on transgenic abilities. Of course Steven didn't have any idea of what he had just gotten himself into. He put the chess pieces on the board and offered generously, "You want to take white?"
Max nodded, "Yeah, sure."
When Sarah called that the dinner was ready, Max had already beaten Steven twice.
"We're going to finish this game after dinner?" Steven asked.
"You're ready to lose a third time?" Max answered.
Steven laughed. "We'll see."
As everybody had expected, dinner was delicious. When they had finished eating, Steven and Max did the cleaning up then joined Logan and Sarah in the bathroom. Pointing at the chessboard, Logan asked, "I assume Max has the white men?"
Steven nodded, "Yeah, she has. How'd you know?"
"I don't know how often we've played chess, but I can count the number of times I've won on one hand. She's a genius when it comes to chess."
Steven raised his brows. "And you didn't warn me? I already lost twice."
Max smiled one of her winning smiles and apologized, "Sorry. But I love to be underestimated and prove that I'm not as stupid as I look."
Logan took her hand and pulled her in his lap. When she said down he whispered for noone else to hear, "You know you don't look stupid. You're my drop-dead gorgeous superwoman." Max's smile intensified and she kissed him quickly.
"Are you just going to cuddle with my grandson or do you want to finish the game?" Steven asked.
Max grinned. "He wants to lose again," she told Logan and left his lap to sit down at the table.
Steven played well but even with Logan's help he wasn't able to beat Max. In the end they all were laughing and Sarah said, "Steven, you're too old for this girl. Stop trying and relax."
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm old. I know."
Logan chuckled. "Don't worry, I lose all the time too, so it doesn't seem to be a question of age."
Max grinned. "You sure, old man?"
She had expected Logan to react with a teasing comment, but she hadn't expected him to start tickling her, and when he did, she lost her balance. When Logan realized that Max was starting to stumble, he seized the opportunity and grabbed her waist, toppling her into his lap.
"You like me here, right?" she asked.
Logan smiled. "Yeah."
Returning his smile, she made herself comfortable, curling up in his lap and leaning against his chest. Logan laid his arms around her and inhaled her scent.
Max didn't leave that spot the whole evening, which they spent talking and laughing.
When Logan's grandparents said good-night, Max and Logan stayed in front of the oven, simply enjoying the closeness they were finally able to share.
Eventually Logan asked, "Max?"
Not looking up she murmured, "Huh?"
"If all this touching, cuddling and the whole affection thing is too much, you promise to tell me?"
Then she looked up, leaning back a little to be able to look at him from a better distance.
"What are you talking about? I love the tenderness. I love the way you hold my hand, the way you hug me and kiss me and pull me in your lap to cuddle. Is it okay with you?" she asked worried.
Logan breathed deeply. "Have you ever heard of sensory deprivation?"
Max was confused, but answered, "Sure. At Manticore it was part of the curriculum. It's an effective way to torture people. Remove a victim's opportunity to see, hear, feel, pretty soon they'll be willing to do anything just to be able to have somebody touch them. We were even taught that people can die from the lack of contact." Her smile was grim. She didn't like thinking of Manticore here.
"Yeah, die. I can imagine that. You know, being stuck in a wheelchair means more than not being able to feel your legs. It also means that people are afraid to touch you. Look at Marie or my own family like Jonas and Margo. They won't even shake my hand. Looking back now I realized I've only had contact with nurses and doctors and therapists since my injury. And a nurse giving you an injection is not what I'd call 'touch.'"
He hesitated before he continued. "You saved my life, Max. You were the first person since my injury that still saw me as a person. Do you remember the hug you gave me when I found Hannah?"
Max nodded carefully. "It was no big deal. Not for me. But I remember the dazzled look on your face. I didn't understand it then."
"That was the first time anyone had really touched me since the shooting, except for Bling in rehab. I lived of that for weeks."
She gave him a small smile and said, "You could have told me, you know? I know what it's like not to be touched. At Manticore they taught us about the lack of contact but you can be sure that nobody would come and take you in his arms just because you needed it. Within the X5s we acted like a family. A few hugs and nudges every now and for us, that was enough to not miss it. We wouldn't have known what to miss anyway. Then when we escaped and I was always on the run, sometimes at foster families and sometimes hiding with other kids in the ghettos, there was nobody to touch me, either. But it wasn't that bad for me. Maybe that's because I'm not totally human. It's only since I've known Cindy and Kendra and the guys from Jam Pony that I know what it's like. To be human and to touch friends. Sorry, Logan, I really didn't think about it."
It was true, she'd never thought about it. It had never really been an issue for her and she didn't think it would be an issue for someone else. But remembering all the time she'd spent with Logan, she realized the truth in his words. They never really touched, which was okay, 'cause they had only been friends, but Logan didn't have other close friends like Max did. Friends like Cindy. She wondered if Logan had had anyone he was that close to since the accident, and she realized that he probably hadn't. No family, no friends, just her, Bling and some informants. He must have been very lonely. And she had never noticed.
"Hey, I'm not blaming you. I just want you to know why I take every chance to be near you, to hug you, to cuddle with you and to take your hand. Or be happy when I feel it on my shoulder. Max, it means a lot to me."
"To me too. I love being touched by you," she agreed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him tight and kissing him on the cheek. He hid his face in her pullover between her neck and her shoulder and took a deep breath. First part done, second part to come, he thought to himself.
Max was fully concentrated on him and realized that the tension hadn't left his body. He wasn't finished yet and she was sure what further topic he had in mind.
"Is this why you didn't want to go any further yesterday night? Not to risk a sensation overload after so many months of abstinence," she asked, trying to lighten the mood by her choice of words, but it didn't work. Logan remained tense.
"Yeah, that's one reason."
"And another one?"
"I'm not sure what will work, how it will work... Max, the only thing I know for sure is that I won't be able to have sex the traditional way. And that scares me like crazy, 'cause I don't know any other way. When Grandpa started telling us about Martin and Anne and them coming here for 'fun' I felt like running away."
"Why? That's got nothing to do with us. I don't need to be intimate with you here, just because that's why this house was bought. Don't worry, Logan, if you don't want anything to happen within the next few days, that's okay. We don't need to do it all at once. I'm still learning what it means to be somebody's girlfriend and we both will have to figure out how sex works, okay? I can understand that you're worried about it, but I guess that's a guy thing. I'm looking forward to it, looking forward to experimenting a little."
"Your adventurous spirit seems to be a little more adventurous than mine."
"Maybe. But I've always been good at making it up as I go." She smiled at him. "I don't know where all your insecurities come from, but I told you more than once that you don't have to hide from me. It's all good, all the time," she grinned, quoting Herbal. "And we have all the time in the world."
"I think what makes me so insecure is that all my life, every time I was really happy, something really bad would happen. Like my parents die or getting shot. And right now I'm so happy. I can't believe that this is real and will last. Maybe I just want to spare myself the humiliation. I'd really prefer to be the self-confident guy I was when we first met, but that guy was killed by Bruno Anselmo, and all that's left of him is me. This crippled me that's not only the black sheep of the family but really feels like it. That wished nothing more than to be with you and is still so afraid of having sex. I'm sorry, Max."
"Logan, I didn't get to know you well before you were shot, but I know you now. I love your insecurities as they differentiate you from the rest of your gender. You don't have to be sorry for it. And you're not the black sheep of the family. You're the best person I've ever met. I love every single part of you, every part that makes you Logan Cale. And that's so much more than insecurities and paralysis, the only aspects you seem to remember. What about your courage, your enthusiasm, your altruism and your optimism, at least for everything except yourself? Believe me, Logan, there's no need for you to be insecure, but if you are right now, I'm willing to tell you as often as you need to hear it, that I love you. Take your time, I'll be here."
Logan smiled. "That's good to hear. Thanks for giving me the time I need. You're still going to cuddle with me tonight?"
"That, mister, you can be sure of!"
I know this is a little confusing, but I decided to actually write about the trip to the North Sea, 'cause I totally agreed with JoJo that the end of Chapter 10 was a little rushed. So I changed it and instead of two sentences you get two chapters.
Thanks for this chapter go to willow -as usual - for her betaing (I can't believe anybody read the first eight chapters which haven't been betaed) and a fan who had some great ideas and inspired my muse :-)
I got homesick writing this chapter, so be nice if you get bored by the journey, but once I started writing about the landscape I couldn't stop. Otherwise: Enjoy!
***********************
Chapter 11: North Sea
Max and Logan agreed with his grandparents on the idea of having a vacation-within-a-vacation and packed their stuff that night before going to bed.
They started out the next morning after breakfast. Sarah and Steven had already loaded everything in the car they might need, and when Max and Logan appeared, they were already waiting for them.
"These young people, Sarah, always late for everything," Steven kidded.
Max smiled. "Not for everything."
They took the same seats they had occupied the day before, Max sitting behind Logan, her hand resting on his shoulder. Logan was looking out of the window, enjoying the drive along empty country roads. In this part of the country there was almost no industry, just a lot of agriculture. These days in Europe there was almost no business that would make people rich, but at least most of the farmers seemed to do okay. As far as he knew, the crisis of the 1990s had passed and in contradiction to most predictions, even small farms had survived by changing to ecological agriculture.
Although there wasn't much to see at this time of the year, Logan enjoyed gazing at the landscape as they drove along. Everything was so flat here. No mountains, not even rolling hills. Very different from the Olympic Mountains and the cascades he was used to.
Eventually Max asked from the backseat, "What are all the shrubs and bushes for, that we're seeing along the road everywhere?"
"Before they invented barbed wire fences, it was too much work to build fences around all the fields to show where your field ended and your neighbor's started. Or to keep the cows and horses from running away. So the farmers started to plant those shrubs. Today they are part of the landscape and the ecological system. It's not allowed to cut them down as there are a lot of animals living in and around the so called 'knicks,'" Steven explained.
"Knicks?" Max tried to repeat but failed miserably. "What a funny word." But she seemed to be satisfied with the answer. "I can't believe how flat everything is here. Aren't there any hills?"
Steven chuckled. "No, no hills around. That's because of the Ice Age. The glaciers flattened the landscape. The wind and the water did the rest."
"The water?" Max asked, surprised.
"Not here, but when we get to the North Sea you'll see the huge shallows. Not so many centuries ago that all used to be land. The fight against the water is a never-ending one. Last century they tried to fight it by bringing tons of sand to the beaches so they won't disappear, but with every flood the islands get a little smaller and with every storm-flood they get a LOT smaller."
"So the land is sinking?"
Steven turned out to be a good teacher of regional geography. "Yeah. If the U.S. had stayed the superpower they were and had continued to produce so much carbon dioxide, together with the rest of the world, global warming would have continued the same way it had started and this area would have been one of the first to suffer from the Poles' melting and would have sunk into the sea."
Sarah stated sarcastically, "So finally we've found something to like about the Pulse."
Steven laughed, "If that's the way you want to put it - yeah. The people here have a nice saying about the flatness, left over from the days when there where no cars: 'You can always see who's coming for dinner tomorrow.'"
Now it was Logan's turn to laugh. "You don't have to live on flat land to know that. I always know who's coming for dinner, too."
Max got the hint and answered, "Oh, if you don't like it, just tell me. I'll return to sandwiches and take-out then."
Steven grinned at Logan next to him. "Maybe you should go a little easier on Max."
"And keep feeding her? You've seen how much this girl can eat."
"Come on, Logan, you're so mean!" Max shouted from behind him and Logan laughed again.
"Okay, okay, feel free to raid my fridge whenever you want to."
"I will, thanks."
When they got to the coast Steven continued with his explanations, telling them about how dikes were built and how the people where trying to preserve and recover the land lost to the sea. Logan smiled at his grandfather. He was the type of person who'd never stay a stranger, no matter where he went. When they had decided to move to Europe he had started to study everything about the land, the culture and the people. No question he could continue talking for days, but luckily they arrived at the harbor.
"Where are we going now?" Max asked.
Sarah explained, "We're going to take the ferry to the islands. It won't take long."
"One of the islands that's sinking into the sea?"
Logan and Steven laughed at Max's question, and Steven replied, "No need to worry. The islands are safe, and we're not going on a 'Hallig.'"
"You're confusing me today. Too much information at one time," Max complained. "What's that again?"
"A Hallig is a small island that is so close to sea level that it sinks every once in a while. All it needs is a flood that's a little higher than normal to make the land disappear. All the houses there are built on wooden legs so they look out over the water."
"But the island we're going to is higher. Definitely no need to worry. They have traditional houses, built from stone at ground level," Sarah said.
Max looked skeptical but was sure the Parkers knew what they were talking about.
The ferry trip only took about half an hour, and since the weather was fine and it wasn't windy, nobody got sick.
Leaving the ferry and driving the short distance to the cabin, Max looked at the tiny little houses everywhere. They were adorable, built from brick with thatched roofs, according to Steven. She loved the little stone walls in front of the houses with the small white picket fences on top of them and looked pleased when Steven stopped the car in front of one.
They all followed Sarah to the entrance. Steven looked a little worried when he saw the step but Logan just smiled and managed without a problem.
The inside of the house was as cute as the outside. The decor was very nice, showing the owners' connection to the sea. Pictures of the beach and the sea, pictures of ships and ships-in-bottles, and a large oven in the living room that was obviously only used as a chimney and not for actual heating, made the place more cozy than Max had expected.
"This is so cute," she commented.
Logan smiled at her. "Yeah, it is."
Sarah stuck her head out from what appeared to be the kitchen and said, "There's a bedroom down here where you'll be staying. We'll take the one upstairs."
Max and Logan nodded and followed Sarah to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. "We need to go and buy some food if we don't want to starve," Sarah told them and "We'll just have a look upstairs and we'll be ready to go."
Logan nodded. "Take your time. We'll be in the living room."
Max threw her bag on a chair and laid down on the bed. "I love this house, Logan. Everything's so neat and cute and lovely."
"I like it, too. Steven mentioned that it was one of the last houses that was built so close to the sea. Today it's prohibited for ecological reasons."
"So we're lucky this cabin is old enough."
"Yeah, we are. Is this door leading to a bathroom?" he asked but as Max hadn't opened it and shrugged, he had a look. "It is a bathroom. So we have one of our own."
"And do not have to use the one on the second floor." Max smiled. "Shall we go and meet your grandparents? Do you know where the supermarket is?"
"No idea, but Grandpa will know."
Logan was right and the store wasn't far away. It only took them a few minutes to walk to a supermarket Max and Logan would dream about once they were back home. It was enormous, stocked with everything they could think of and then some. They bought everything they thought they might want to eat in the next few days and Logan was already preparing some culinary miracles in his head. Turning to Sarah he offered to cook that afternoon, and when Max said enthusiastically, 'Oh yeah!' Sarah and Steven both laughed and happily agreed.
Coming back to the cabin, Logan and Sarah went to the kitchen to get lunch started, and Max had a closer look at the house. In the first floor there was only the bedroom Sarah and Steven were sleeping in and a huge bathroom with a bathtub. The door next to the bedroom was leading to an empty room that was a kid's room as there were dozens of toys in the shelves. White picket fences, Max thought, I could definitely get used to this. Downstairs she opened the door leading to the backyard and was surprised to find Steven there. "Hey!" she greeted him.
"Hey Max. Did they throw you out of the kitchen?"
"To be honest, I never went in. I'm really lousy when it comes to cooking, so that's Logan's job. I can do the cleaning afterwards."
Steven smiled and turned away. Max followed his gaze and was surprised. "Wow, we're really on the beach," she remarked. "Logan told me the house was built close to the sea, but I didn't expect once you left the terrace you'd be right on the beach."
"But you are. And the beach is wide and long here."
"Yeah, it really is. And the sand is so fine and white. I can't wait to go for a walk!" she told Steven full of anticipation, but suddenly realized, "Oh, or maybe I won't."
"Max, I'm sure Logan won't mind if you go for a walk at the beach."
"I know, it's just that I would love to do it with him. We tried at your place, where the sand was frozen, but it didn't work well."
Steven's smile disappeared and he asked very seriously, "Is it important for you? To do things Logan might never be able to do?"
"Like go for a walk at the beach?" Max asked back. "No, it's not. I love the beach and the sea but it's definitely nothing I would give up Logan for. I can't imagine there's anything I would give up Logan for," she continued and made Steven laugh.
He put his arm around her and said, "You're a good girl, Max. Please forgive my question, but I don't want Logan to get hurt. Again."
"It's okay. I don't want him to get hurt either."
"So do you think we should check how far they've gotten with lunch?"
Instead of an answer, Max's stomach made itself heard. Both giggled and went inside.
They had dinner together and Max was once again amazed at how eating was such a pleasure. Before she had gotten to know Logan and had started to have dinner with him, eating had always been something you had to do to survive, not something that was enjoyable. But now it was. Everyone was talking, they were making plans and when they finally decided to go on a walk to look at all the nice little houses and the small shops in the village to spend the afternoon, Max and Steven had to hurry to clean up so they'd have enough time before the sun set.
Logan watched Max the whole afternoon, surprised at how feminine she seemed to him. Since she wasn't hiding behind her "tough-ass attitude," as he had once called it, instead enjoying the landscape and the island, he had the chance to notice her feminine side.
Wheeling behind his grandparents, Max next to him, he was already starting to miss her touch. He wondered about it, then did something to correct the problem; when they stopped in front of a little shop that was offering do-it-yourself pottery, he carefully took her hand.
Max had been focused on the woman inside, but came back to reality when she felt Logan's hand around hers. Looking down at him, she saw his insecure smile that made him look like a little puppy. Her face formed a smile, too, and she returned the gentle squeeze. She had never expected Logan to be so endearingly romantic, showing his affection so openly.
When they continued their walk and he needed his hand for wheeling, she rested her hand on his shoulder, just to stay in contact.
They stopped at a bakery before going back and got some cake they wanted to have with their coffee. Back in the house Logan started the coffee and Steven fired up the oven. Only a few minutes later they were all sitting in the living room, eating the cake and drinking coffee. Max was sitting in front of the oven, enjoying the warmth at her back and glancing at Logan who had stopped next to her. He glanced back and lovingly tucked a curl behind her ear, earning him a smile from Max.
"Do you come here often?" Logan wanted to know from his grandparents. "You said this cabin belongs to a cousin of yours?"
Sarah nodded, "Yes, it does. Steven's cousin Martin. He's skiing and left us the key in case we wanted to come here."
"That's really nice," Max said. "I love it here."
Sarah smiled and asked, "Did you hear the story of why he bought this house?"
Logan shook his head. "Nope."
Sarah looked at Steven and he started to tell them. "When Martin and his wife Anne were not yet married and were both still living with their parents, they didn't really have much of a chance to be...you know..."
Max and Logan smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we know," Logan said, adding, "Parents in the room next door can be really disturbing."
Steven continued, "So they started searching for a way to go on small vacations as often as possible. Anne told her parents she was staying with a friend and Martin did the same and they both took the opportunity to come here. At that time it was still allowed to camp in the dunes and that's what they did. When they grew older and got married, they didn't need a place to hide, but they still loved to come here. But eventually camping in the dunes was forbidden and they had to go to a camping place or to rent a cabin or whatever. They still did that and when they were here they found out that the old lady who had lived here had died. The heirs didn't want to keep the house and so Martin and Anne were able to buy it for a good price."
Max grinned. "So they are still coming here to be... you know..."
Steven laughed at her choice of words. "Yeah, I think that's why they bought it. It's in the dunes and reminds them of the good old times."
"They sound like a happy couple," Max remarked, and Steven and Sarah both nodded.
They didn't stop talking until Sarah asked, "Did anyone have plans for tonight? Because it's already dark outside and I'm afraid it's started to rain."
All shrugged and Logan proposed, "Why don't we stay here? I'll make dinner."
Max smiled, "You cooking dinner is always a great option. At least for me."
When he smiled back, she leaned over to kiss him.
Logan and Sarah disappeared in the kitchen and left Max and Steven alone.
"So, what are we supposed to do?" Steven asked.
Max shrugged. "We could set the table, but that won't take long."
Steven nodded and they put the plates and silverware on the table in the small hallway that was used as a dining room.
When they were finished, Steven asked, "Do you know how to play chess?"
Max thought of the many times she had beaten Logan and a grin spread across her face. "Yeah, sure. Do we have a chess set here?"
Steven nodded and got it from a cupboard in the living room. Max wondered if she should let him win, but decided it wouldn't be necessary. Winning a game of chess didn't have to be based on transgenic abilities. Of course Steven didn't have any idea of what he had just gotten himself into. He put the chess pieces on the board and offered generously, "You want to take white?"
Max nodded, "Yeah, sure."
When Sarah called that the dinner was ready, Max had already beaten Steven twice.
"We're going to finish this game after dinner?" Steven asked.
"You're ready to lose a third time?" Max answered.
Steven laughed. "We'll see."
As everybody had expected, dinner was delicious. When they had finished eating, Steven and Max did the cleaning up then joined Logan and Sarah in the bathroom. Pointing at the chessboard, Logan asked, "I assume Max has the white men?"
Steven nodded, "Yeah, she has. How'd you know?"
"I don't know how often we've played chess, but I can count the number of times I've won on one hand. She's a genius when it comes to chess."
Steven raised his brows. "And you didn't warn me? I already lost twice."
Max smiled one of her winning smiles and apologized, "Sorry. But I love to be underestimated and prove that I'm not as stupid as I look."
Logan took her hand and pulled her in his lap. When she said down he whispered for noone else to hear, "You know you don't look stupid. You're my drop-dead gorgeous superwoman." Max's smile intensified and she kissed him quickly.
"Are you just going to cuddle with my grandson or do you want to finish the game?" Steven asked.
Max grinned. "He wants to lose again," she told Logan and left his lap to sit down at the table.
Steven played well but even with Logan's help he wasn't able to beat Max. In the end they all were laughing and Sarah said, "Steven, you're too old for this girl. Stop trying and relax."
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm old. I know."
Logan chuckled. "Don't worry, I lose all the time too, so it doesn't seem to be a question of age."
Max grinned. "You sure, old man?"
She had expected Logan to react with a teasing comment, but she hadn't expected him to start tickling her, and when he did, she lost her balance. When Logan realized that Max was starting to stumble, he seized the opportunity and grabbed her waist, toppling her into his lap.
"You like me here, right?" she asked.
Logan smiled. "Yeah."
Returning his smile, she made herself comfortable, curling up in his lap and leaning against his chest. Logan laid his arms around her and inhaled her scent.
Max didn't leave that spot the whole evening, which they spent talking and laughing.
When Logan's grandparents said good-night, Max and Logan stayed in front of the oven, simply enjoying the closeness they were finally able to share.
Eventually Logan asked, "Max?"
Not looking up she murmured, "Huh?"
"If all this touching, cuddling and the whole affection thing is too much, you promise to tell me?"
Then she looked up, leaning back a little to be able to look at him from a better distance.
"What are you talking about? I love the tenderness. I love the way you hold my hand, the way you hug me and kiss me and pull me in your lap to cuddle. Is it okay with you?" she asked worried.
Logan breathed deeply. "Have you ever heard of sensory deprivation?"
Max was confused, but answered, "Sure. At Manticore it was part of the curriculum. It's an effective way to torture people. Remove a victim's opportunity to see, hear, feel, pretty soon they'll be willing to do anything just to be able to have somebody touch them. We were even taught that people can die from the lack of contact." Her smile was grim. She didn't like thinking of Manticore here.
"Yeah, die. I can imagine that. You know, being stuck in a wheelchair means more than not being able to feel your legs. It also means that people are afraid to touch you. Look at Marie or my own family like Jonas and Margo. They won't even shake my hand. Looking back now I realized I've only had contact with nurses and doctors and therapists since my injury. And a nurse giving you an injection is not what I'd call 'touch.'"
He hesitated before he continued. "You saved my life, Max. You were the first person since my injury that still saw me as a person. Do you remember the hug you gave me when I found Hannah?"
Max nodded carefully. "It was no big deal. Not for me. But I remember the dazzled look on your face. I didn't understand it then."
"That was the first time anyone had really touched me since the shooting, except for Bling in rehab. I lived of that for weeks."
She gave him a small smile and said, "You could have told me, you know? I know what it's like not to be touched. At Manticore they taught us about the lack of contact but you can be sure that nobody would come and take you in his arms just because you needed it. Within the X5s we acted like a family. A few hugs and nudges every now and for us, that was enough to not miss it. We wouldn't have known what to miss anyway. Then when we escaped and I was always on the run, sometimes at foster families and sometimes hiding with other kids in the ghettos, there was nobody to touch me, either. But it wasn't that bad for me. Maybe that's because I'm not totally human. It's only since I've known Cindy and Kendra and the guys from Jam Pony that I know what it's like. To be human and to touch friends. Sorry, Logan, I really didn't think about it."
It was true, she'd never thought about it. It had never really been an issue for her and she didn't think it would be an issue for someone else. But remembering all the time she'd spent with Logan, she realized the truth in his words. They never really touched, which was okay, 'cause they had only been friends, but Logan didn't have other close friends like Max did. Friends like Cindy. She wondered if Logan had had anyone he was that close to since the accident, and she realized that he probably hadn't. No family, no friends, just her, Bling and some informants. He must have been very lonely. And she had never noticed.
"Hey, I'm not blaming you. I just want you to know why I take every chance to be near you, to hug you, to cuddle with you and to take your hand. Or be happy when I feel it on my shoulder. Max, it means a lot to me."
"To me too. I love being touched by you," she agreed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him tight and kissing him on the cheek. He hid his face in her pullover between her neck and her shoulder and took a deep breath. First part done, second part to come, he thought to himself.
Max was fully concentrated on him and realized that the tension hadn't left his body. He wasn't finished yet and she was sure what further topic he had in mind.
"Is this why you didn't want to go any further yesterday night? Not to risk a sensation overload after so many months of abstinence," she asked, trying to lighten the mood by her choice of words, but it didn't work. Logan remained tense.
"Yeah, that's one reason."
"And another one?"
"I'm not sure what will work, how it will work... Max, the only thing I know for sure is that I won't be able to have sex the traditional way. And that scares me like crazy, 'cause I don't know any other way. When Grandpa started telling us about Martin and Anne and them coming here for 'fun' I felt like running away."
"Why? That's got nothing to do with us. I don't need to be intimate with you here, just because that's why this house was bought. Don't worry, Logan, if you don't want anything to happen within the next few days, that's okay. We don't need to do it all at once. I'm still learning what it means to be somebody's girlfriend and we both will have to figure out how sex works, okay? I can understand that you're worried about it, but I guess that's a guy thing. I'm looking forward to it, looking forward to experimenting a little."
"Your adventurous spirit seems to be a little more adventurous than mine."
"Maybe. But I've always been good at making it up as I go." She smiled at him. "I don't know where all your insecurities come from, but I told you more than once that you don't have to hide from me. It's all good, all the time," she grinned, quoting Herbal. "And we have all the time in the world."
"I think what makes me so insecure is that all my life, every time I was really happy, something really bad would happen. Like my parents die or getting shot. And right now I'm so happy. I can't believe that this is real and will last. Maybe I just want to spare myself the humiliation. I'd really prefer to be the self-confident guy I was when we first met, but that guy was killed by Bruno Anselmo, and all that's left of him is me. This crippled me that's not only the black sheep of the family but really feels like it. That wished nothing more than to be with you and is still so afraid of having sex. I'm sorry, Max."
"Logan, I didn't get to know you well before you were shot, but I know you now. I love your insecurities as they differentiate you from the rest of your gender. You don't have to be sorry for it. And you're not the black sheep of the family. You're the best person I've ever met. I love every single part of you, every part that makes you Logan Cale. And that's so much more than insecurities and paralysis, the only aspects you seem to remember. What about your courage, your enthusiasm, your altruism and your optimism, at least for everything except yourself? Believe me, Logan, there's no need for you to be insecure, but if you are right now, I'm willing to tell you as often as you need to hear it, that I love you. Take your time, I'll be here."
Logan smiled. "That's good to hear. Thanks for giving me the time I need. You're still going to cuddle with me tonight?"
"That, mister, you can be sure of!"