Ch 2: The First Task

At the crack of dawn the next morning, the fellowship came back to where they were the previous night. The hobbits were drowsy, not used to waking up this early; Boromir was still giddy, Legolas and Gimli were wide awake, and Aragorn looked as if he wanted to kill Boromir. Gandalf looked depressed.

"Good morning!" cried the cheery Armosis. "Are you all ready to take on the first task?"

"No," grumbled everyone, except Boromir, who said, "Why but of course! I am ready to beat all of you, you shall never vote me off... NEVER!"

Everyone then was officially freaked. "Ummm.. continuing," said Armosis carefully, "your first task is this. You have to climb up a tree and get that bushel of food. It contains lembas, carrots(Pippin's eyes lit up at this), apples, dried meats, and a canteen of water. The person who can get up the tree, get the basket, and successfully get down gets to eat it. The losers, have to eat boiled orc meat."

"EWWWWW!" moaned Sam and Merry together.

"But that's eating a species of elf!" said the shocked Legolas.

"That's treachery!" declared Gandalf.

"Carrots.....," said Pippin dreamily, he stopped listening after he heard carrot.

Gimli smiled smugly. Aragorn and Frodo looked at each other with horror.

"You just know that I shall beat you!" cried Boromir. "Tehehee! You have to eat orc flesh! Nahahahanaanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh do hush up!" cried Legolas jumping up and pointing an arrow to his throat.

"There is no need for violence," shrugged Frodo.

"He is right... for once," said Gimli slyly.

"What tree do we have to climb, Miss?" asked Sam.

"Finally, someone who has a brain!" exclaimed Armosis and she pointed to a tall, black tree covered with huge spider webs. There was a mist around the tree and it seemed to have a leering face, ready to eat you if you got too close. "That one!"

Everyone, even the boasting Boromir went pale. Armosis smiled and said, "Good luck. Oh and if you are killed or dragged off by the spiders, that is not our problem. I will be watching." Armosis walked off into the shadows.

"Who wants to go first?" asked Gimli. "Wait dumb question, go ahead Boromir."

Boromir triumphantly blew the horn of Gondo, raise his head high and whistled gaily as he marched to the tree.

"Haha," he thought to himself, "it's mine all mine. Those spooty spiders must be asleep or dead.'

He was now ant the base of the tree. He grabbed the lowest limb abd swung up. He turned around and waved to the others. Suddenly, Merry screamed a girlish scream. Boromir turned around and saw a gigantic spider with jaws dripping in drool (it was actually poison, but we know how bright Boromir is).

"AHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Boromir too screamed girlishly and tried poking the spider's eyes out with the horn as he jumped from the tree. Once he reached the ground, he ran like a bat out of Hell to the group.

"You... go... next... little hobbits," he panted, the passed out in Aragorn's arms.

"How about we all go together?" suggested Frodo. "then we could split the food up evenly, giving all the carrots to Pip of course."

"Good idea, Mr. Frodo," said Sam. "I got my pan!"

"Pip should be happy with that arrangement," said Pippin.

"Why are you refering yourself in third person?" asked Merry cautiously. "Actually, never mind please DON'T answer that."

The hobbits picked up there weapons, including the "magical" carrot.

They cautiously went to the base of the tree. Sam boosted Frodo up on a limb while Merry and Pippin were throwing rocks and stick on the opposite side, trying to distract the evil. This failed miserably though because Pippin kept calling to Frodo to throw him carrots. The spider found were Frodo was and there was a fight and a mad dash to the group.

"Who wants to go next?" asked Legolas. "I am not, there is no way to get past them. I have lived in this forest for a 1,000 years and know all about them."

"I am too short to reach a lib on the tree, so it is pointless for me. How about you Aragorn?" said Gimli.

"No, I'm on a diet actually," he said bluntly.

"And all of you think I'm gay?" asked Legolas.

"I guess that leaves me," said Gandalf as he stood up slowly. He took his staff and went to the tree. He raised up his staff and a pale blue gas came from its tip. The spider fell to the ground in ten seconds. Frodo then went up next to Gandalf and started to stab it psychotically. Gandalf then crawled up the tree and recovered the basket. He looked at Frodo with shock; he was covered with green ooze.

"Sorry," Frodo mumbled, "spiders give me the heebie-jeebies."

"That is quite alright," said Gandalf while thinking, "Dear havens, why am I even here with these freaks who think of nothing but of carrots and dieting?"

"Here, all the rest of you but Boromir, Aragorn, and I will split it. This is what I wish," he said laying down the basket.

"I don't trust it," grumbled Gimli, running his thumbe on the blade of his axe.

"Very thoughtful, but I only wish for a small piece of lembas," said Legolas, nibbling on a piece already.

Merry was kissing Gandalf's feet. "Oh thank you kind wizard!"

"Please stop that, I have no idea where your mouth has been," sighed Gandalf, kicking Merry in the jaw. Pippin was hoarding the carrots. Sam and Frodo were splitting up the food evenly.

"I'm back!" cried Armosis coming from the shadows, "Anyone miss me?"

"Do we have to answer that?" mumbled Boromir, he was becoming conscious again.

"Anyways... moving on. Since the producers and I cannot stand most of you, we are going to allow you to vote off two bodies," said Armosis rolling here eyes. She then handed each of them parchment and a pen. "Write two names and then come up to me one of the time explaining why you want them gone. Begin."

The first one done was Pippin, "Miss, I want Boromir gone 'cuz he has always scared me and threatened to beat me and Gandalf. His pointy hat is also very scary." "ooookaaaayy," thought Armosis as he walked off. Then came Boromir.

"I wish to vote off Aragorn and Legolas. One they are both fruity and two, Aragorn took Frodo away from me once and he shall never do so again!"

Then came Aragorn. "Gimli and Boromir. Too weird and annoying."

Then Frodo, "Boromir and Gimli. Boromir is tried to crawl into my sleep sack last night and Gimli is too cruel. His beard is also so long and bushy.. gives me scary thoughts.'

Gimli: "Boromir and Gandalf. Too freaky and they try to stroke my beard."

Legolas: "Merry and Boromir. Boromir I have always despised. He was the first one who accused I was gay and Merry snores. How am I supposed to get any sleep?"

Sam: "Boromir and Gandalf. Jus' because."

Pippin: "Gandalf and Boromir. Gandalf has pointy hat and Boromir tried to shove a carrot up my butt."

Merry: "Boromir and Pippin. Boromir harasses me and Pippin stole all of the carrots."

Gandalf: "Boromir and myself. Boromir screwed up the fellowship the first time, and I cannot stand being here with these fruitcakes."

"Very interesting," said Armosis, still trying to recover from all of the freakish reasons. "Boromir and Gandalf GET OUT OF MIRKWOOD!"

"Yes!!!!!!!" screamed Gandalf and he danced out into the shadows.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" screamed Boromir, being dragged away by security, who were being beaten with the horn.

"Hey, it's just like the first time, Gandalf and Boromir are gone," remarked Aragorn stroking his beard.

"Well, you have the rest of the day to try to survive until tomorrow at dawn. Have fun and avoid the spiders!" waved Armosis as she walked off again.

"Free at last!" cried Gimli, "Stupid broad."

"Wait a minute don't you dare dis an elf!" he then jumped Gimli and they started tumbling on the floor. Merry and Pippin sat down eating food that was falling from their mouths when they cheered on. Aragorn was trying to break up the fight. Sam and Frodo walked off. Frodo then said, "I cannot wait until tomorrow."

"Why is that?" asked Sam nibbling on lembas.

"Then maybe I can vote off the rest of the morons. Hey, maybe we should run off again instead !" said Frodo thoughtfully.

"Nah," said Sam putting his arm around Frodo. "I like the first idea better."

Frodo smiled.