The Confessions of a Servant Girl
Chapter 2: Happenings in the Night
The sound of voices died down in the great hall, and a satisfied peace settled in the atmosphere of the room like a quiet wind. I waited by the door still, stalling my return; I wanted to remain in this dimension for as long as I could. The servant life beckoned me, but I withstood its pull. I dreaded the thought of resuming my daily chores. Despite the awkwardness of the royal life, I preferred it to the shame and humility of the servant life. I could no longer hear Arwen or Faramir but I stood still and silent. All of a sudden, I felt a vicious tap on my shoulder. I turned quickly, afraid of being found. A guard stood before me.
"Excuse me, milady, are you lost? How may I be of service?" he asked, believing me to be a guest.
"I am searching for the gardens," I lied. Without another word, the elven guard escorted me to the gardens. It was chilly out, and when he pointed out the light breeze and offered me a shawl, I thanked him and told him I would be fine.
I walked around the familiar flowers and trees that were emboldened by the setting sun behind it. It was as if I was seeing it for the first time.
I moved to sit down, but as I did so, I heard a voice. Stunned, I turned sharply, nearly tripping. It was Legolas.
"Where did you run off to? Just here?" he asked. I was not sure what he was thinking in his head; amazement at my strange location, or at the abruptness of my departure. His voice was stern, but not angry.
"I just needed some space to collect myself. I am terribly sorry. I did not know I was supposed to remain there, milord," I explained nervously. I did not know what he wanted to hear so I tried just to sound as apologetic as possible.
"Worry not. I am not upset, just bewildered. Faramir told me you had returned to the kitchens. I expected to find you there," replied the prince.
"Should I…go back…return to my quarters since my duties are taken care of?" I asked, hiding my half-heartedness as well as I could.
"DO you wish to?" he asked. I got the feeling he wanted my true and honest answer, so I was not sure what I was to tell him. It seemed that whenever I was around the prince I was never sure about anything.
"I, actually, will leave that decision to you, after all, I am just a servant." I knew not what to say.
Legolas looked at me, as if trying to find my real feelings in the obscurity of my answer.
"You do not want to go back," he said as if he was making a finite conclusion.
"How do you know that for sure, milord?" I asked, but immediately wanted to take back my words because I was afraid they would seem to challenge his authority.
Legolas laughed. "I know because I have seen it before. You are the bird that has been let out of her cage, has observed the fascinating things of the world, and then is forced back into her cage. But this is different. I am allowing you a choice. You can either enter the cage, or remain outside."
I furrowed my brow. "I am sorry, but I do not comprehend."
"Em," he said, taking a serious tone and stepping one step closer to me, "I am letting you have an opportunity. I am not forcing this bird back into her cage. You can either return to your life as a servant, forever…or…I am willing to teach you to play the flute and to let you sing with Valíe and me. You will not have to be a servant."
This offer surprised me and I opened my mouth several times before I could force a sound from within.
"Why?" I asked. It was the first thing that came to mind.
Legolas laughed his light laughter again, his eyes twinkling merrily.
"Why?" he said, "Why is not important. We all have our reasons. Valíe was the one who suggested the idea, and I agree with it heartily, but let us forget that. What is your decision?"
I knew my choice before he even finished speaking, it was a dream come true.
"Of course, I would gladly do it if it pleases you, milord," I said.
"Worry only of pleasing yourself, not I," insisted Legolas.
I nodded, "It would please me…very much."
The prince half-smiled and then nodded politely.
"Good. Firstly, you are to move to a chamber closer to the center of the palace, one of the royal bedrooms will suffice. You may wear what you wish on regular days, but you are to attend supper and parties in formal attire. Míriel will see to that. And—" he stopped. I could not figure out why, but he glanced off into the distance before continuing in a more rapid pace. "Meet me after midnight and we will discuss it further." After saying these words, he rushed into the direction he had been staring in without waiting for my reply. I could not help smiling to myself as I watched Legolas' tall, elven figure vanish into the distance. The sun was nearly complete hidden beneath the horizon and the great elven trees which had been setting shadows now became the shadows as the blackness began to taint the crisp evening air.
"You are no longer a servant," I said, trying to convince myself of this unreal reality, "they serve you." As I said this, I woke up from my dream. What of all my friends? What of dear Míriel, she was hardly a year older than I. And Utúen! He was younger than us all. Suddenly, a wave of reluctance overcame me. How was it, that I, of all servants, should be the one who escaped the servant life? And surely I was the least worthy. I sat down on a bench and pondered over these thoughts for nearly half an hour when I again heard a voice from behind me. I expected to see Legolas, but to my surprise, it was not he who I saw. Instead, another elf, whom I had never seen before stood before me. I could barely make out his outline in the darkness if it was not for a dim candle he carried with him that he held up to his face. He was tall and strong, and possessed the same natural grace Legolas did. He had a fierce mouth and his chin jutted out noticeably. His eyes were the most distinctive features on his face. They were cold, gray, and clouded over.
"Wonder job, Emladrial. Too bad that Valíe showed up. How embarrassing!" he said, his voice steely and sharp. Listening to it was like walking on cold stones and I tried to conceal a shiver.
"It was an honor just taking her place for such an important event. I hardly thought it embarrassing that she arrived," I said, a little curtly. Where was his place to tell me how I felt? I was no longer a servant after all. So, I lied about not being embarrassed. It did not occur to me at the time that he had spoken my name when I knew not his.
"But surely you must have felt at least a twinge of resentment that she interrupted," the elf said to me in an oily tone.
"Resentment was the farthest feeling from my heart at the time," I said a little too firmly.
"Fine, fine," he laughed, "no need to be fiery. I guess servant girls will always put themselves in inferior positions no matter what."
"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit suspicious.
"Well, once a servant girl, always a servant girl. You will allow others to take advantage of you and you never grasp opportunities. I bet if you had the chance to no longer be a servant, you would refuse."
"That is a lie, I would gladly trade my servant life for something else! And I have!" I said indignantly. How dare he make up such lies?
"I bet if Legolas himself offered to make you his bride, you would decline! And you could have been princess, and future queen. But that is fine! I suppose years of servant-hood has made a lasting impression upon you," he spat, his voice loud and mocking. I wanted to stick my nails into his pointed chin with was bumping up and down as he laughed.
"I would gladly accept! Having authority and power is what I desire most in the world. I am no person to be put in second place. I desire power more than anything: wealth, love, friendship…anything!" I shouted, unable to control myself. Of course, it was all a lie. I could care less about being a princess or being Legolas' bride. Sure, it would have been pleasant, but just the fact that I was now a student instead of a servant…it was a mind-boggling thought!
"Well, too bad he is engaged to Valíe, huh?" the elf sneered. I was about to cry out with rage when I heard a loud screech above me. I looked up, glad to have an excuse to tear my angry eyes away from the elf's face. I saw a strange brown-black bird…a falcon, really, or a hawk. It screeched again, and turned its yellow eyes upon me. The sound of that piercing cry was loud and deadly, the sound an animal makes when it is being tortured. The scream still haunts me in my dreams. The beak of the creature was long, hooked, and yellow and it glimmered in the night. It swooped down lower until it was merely five meters from my head and the horrible animal opened its sharp jaws to screech again. I put my hands to my ears, but I could still hear it, not only in my ears, but in my bones and in my soul as well. It turned to focus its shimmering, evil, yellow eyes upon my face and I had to look away. I knew by that glance that the enormous bird was pure evil, it was no ordinary animal. I could not help believing it had escaped from a deep, dark dungeon in the pit of hell or some other purgatory.
The elf next to me after glancing at the bird, immediately turned to me and said, "too bad, is it not?" With those words he turned back and ran to the palace. The hawk (if it was), circling a few more times, flew away also, screeching as it departed. Even through the shielding darkness, I could distinctively spot its dreaded outline and I saw its shining eyes as it spun around to fly away.
I felt something touch the corner of my mouth and I put a finger to it, only to see that it was a tear. I realized I had been crying, for how long I did not know. The wind was becoming too unbearable so I picked up the trailing hem of my skirt and without another glance, I scurried inside, the vulnerability in me growing considerably.
When I arrived, everyone was still congregated at his or her dining table, still finishing up dessert, and still talking rapidly. I heard Legolas not far from me speaking with Faramir and Aragorn.
"I promise you, I heard something. It sounded like a Nazgul, a screeching noise, it was quiet, but I heard it…clearly," he stressed earnestly, his dark eyebrows setting a darker shadow upon the pure blue of his eyes.
"I did not hear anything, did you?" Aragorn said.
Faramir admitted, "I heard nothing."
"Do you not believe me, then?" Legolas' voice fell, dismayed.
"No," interrupted Aragorn, "we believe you, and we always will. But we are just stating that we heard nothing."
Faramir put his hand on the elf's lean shoulders, "Nevertheless, I know that I speak for Aragorn as well when I say that we will be on the lookout for anything suspicious."
"Never have your eyes and ears failed us, Legolas," Aragorn nodded, "we will watch…and listen."
"Thank you for your faith, my friends. I had better see that Gimli and Gandalf are cautious, too," Legolas smiled, though he seemed a little hurt.
Aragorn laughed, "You know Gandalf. If you tell him something like this, he will be all over the face of Middle-Earth researching, and soon, everyone will be familiar with this."
I felt guilty eavesdropping on such an important conversation between three highly ranked authorities: the steward and King of Gondor and the Prince of Mirkwood. I was very certain that Legolas shad been speaking of the hawk that I had seen and I knew I had to tell him, but I had not the nerve to interrupt: what if they were upset that I cut in or that I was eavesdropping? Faramir turned and I watched as his eyes locked into mine. I began to turn to walk away to make myself appear innocent, but Faramir was too quick for me.
"Emladrial!" he shouted to me, "Hello there, I did not see you until now. Perhaps you know what we speak of?"
"No," I lied. I could tell by the look on their faces that none of them believed me. Faramir had an amused expression on his face. Aragorn was staring at me under dark brows, but I could tell by the way his mouth turned up at the edges that he was rather entertained; not in a cruel way, but more out of quiet laughter. Legolas' face was hard to read. He stared blandly, his mouth a straight, thin line, and his lips were tight. He did not look at me like the others did but had a fixed, emotionless look on his features as if he were looking at something far and distant.
"Have you ever heard of the Nazgul?" Aragorn asked.
"Only in tales and songs," I replied earnestly, for it was the truth.
"Then you know what foul creatures they are?" he asked.
"Yes, your highness."
"Did you hear any sounds?" Faramir asked, interrupted Aragorn's string of questions.
I glanced over at Legolas. His blank expression changed and he looked at me hopefully.
"Well," I began," I heard a high screeching sound that came from a hideous creature—"
"A Nazgul!" Legolas shouted eagerly.
"I am not quite sure, your highness. It was a bird of gigantic proportions. Six or seven feet at least. A hawk, perhaps, thought I cannot clarify it, it was too dark outside," I explained as best I could, turning words around in my mind to try and uncover the right word or phrase to describe it.
"Was there anything riding upon the bird?" Aragorn questioned, surprised by my answer.
"No, it flew very low, and I was able to see it quite clearly even through the darkness," I shuddered at the memory.
"It did not harm you, did it? No attacks?" Legolas asked fervently, "If it was not a Nazgul, was it harmful?"
"Actually, it did not prove harmful at all. It did not attempt to harm me," I assuaged his fears as best I could, flattered that he showed some concern for my welfare. "I am pretty sure it did not mean well, though. The way it screeched and how it swooped dangerously low…it felt evil…almost."
"Was there anybody with you at the time when you spotted it?" asked Faramir.
"No, nobody that I had knowledge of," I replied, lying once more. The conversation I had taken part in was shameful and the result of my hot temper. Nobody seemed to know I was lying that time.
"I guess it was only a hawk, then," Legolas muttered under his breath, though the rest of us heard.
"But," Faramir reasoned, "there are no hawks indigenous to Mirkwood…or even in this area. Eagles, yes, but they are significantly larger and do not screech."
Aragorn agreed, "True, it does seem strange that one should be seen so far from its habitat."
"If it indeed plans to bring us harm, we must watch out," Legolas warned.
"Right," Aragorn confirmed.
The three nodded politely and dispersed. I was alone.
Gradually, parallel to the growing of night, the party ended. Thranduil and Legolas said their goodbyes to their guests, and directed servants to show the ones who were staying overnight to their rooms. I waited as patiently as I could for the last person to leave the palace. I watched silently as my friends served the guests, answered to the visitors' requests, and cleaned the tables. I felt a twinge of sincered guilt, but I reminded myself that it was an opportunity to excel, and perhaps when I had enough political authority, the issue of servants could be addressed. But truthfully, the feeling toward servants was not too horrible. I had not despised my former life any more than a little child who had to complete difficult tasks.
As the last guest was escorted to either his horse or a room, I made a slow, shy advance closer to my "benefactor," Legolas.
He turned sharply and was quite surprised to see me.
"Oh," he said, not anticipating my sudden presence, "there you are. All the servants have had a long day, I shall show you to your room instead," he spoke warmly, his voice was gentle and caring.
I nodded, "Yes, your highness."
"Firstly," he laughed merrily, "no need for such formalities. I call you Em, you may call me whatever names your whim chooses."
"Of course, you—" I stopped, habit taking over, "Legolas." I felt my face redden.
All of a sudden, Thranduil walked up to Legolas.
"Son," he said in a reprimanding voice, "Valíe awaits you. She wishes to meet you in her quarters."
"Yes, father. I shall be up in a moment," Legolas replied.
"Good. Remember, Valíe is a very special woman. I would be very grateful if it was I." With those words, Thranduil left.
"Come," Legolas motioned for me to follow him, "we must make haste." He swiftly walked up the stairs, though because he was so graceful it appeared as if he was merely floating inches off the ground and his feet never made contact with the solid surface but instead glided in thin air. I had climbed these stairs before, but this time it felt completely new, as if I had never done so before.
We went through several hallways, and I did my best to stay close behind Legolas. I saw all these places in a different light, in new eyes.
Finally, we reached a medium-sized room, with a high ceiling and a stony cold marble floor. This room was on the edge of the palace and overlooked the tips of the Mirkwood trees. The sides facing the outdoors had no walls, but were just windows, and the view was stunning. I still vividly remember that picture; the stars casting their pallid glow on the treetops and the silver moon merely a decoration in a sea of blue and black.
Legolas, seeing my awe, smiled and took my hand, leading me closer to the windows.
"This is my favorite room. It is the loveliest and most dazzling. You can pull the drapes over the windows, but it is marvelous to fall asleep facing the stars." A silence entranced us both and we stood for a minute or two in its midst.
"It must be breathtaking in the morning or at sunset," I observed.
"You'll find out soon enough," said Legolas, releasing my hand as if he had just realized he was holding it, "but first you should get prepared for sleep. There is a flight of stairs coming directly from this room to the river, where you can bathe. I have asked Míriel to prepare several simple gowns for you. They are in the wardrobe. The curtains over your bed can be pulled closed by this gold tassel on this side, and if you need anything, there is a bell by your bedside, right here, which you can ring for assistance. If an emergency occurs, I am only two rooms away." He gazed at me quietly and I nodded to show that I understood. He smiled and I smiled back. After a few minutes of awkward silence, he cleared his throat.
"Ahem, Valíe is expecting me," he said, and left, closing the double doors with a musical clang. I strained my ears to hear his light footsteps, but I heard none.
Slowly, I opened the wardrobe and chose the least frilly gown in there. I then changed into it and hung my fancy evening gown in its place.
Then, as I walked toward the drapes to shut them, I decided against it, and settled into the feather blankets of my bed. I enjoyed the openness of the sky. It was perfect, the room was perfect, the world was perfect, and life was perfect.