Title:

Title: GW Goes Monty Python (or Stacey-Marie watched the BBC marathon too long)

Author: Stacey-Marie

Pairings: none

Part : 1/ ?

Warnings: bad versions of Monty Python and general idiocy

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and all of it's characters, mecha and other miscellaneous stuff isn't mine so don't sue me because you have a better chance of finding a live cabbit in my room than something of value. Of course Monty Python doesn't belong to me or I would be a really rich SOB, however I'm using it's various sketches and splicing them with GW for my own insane purposes.

GW Goes Monty Python (or Stacey-Marie watched the BBC marathon too long) Episode One:

Duo is seated calmly at a desk, in a nice black suit. The desk however appears to be out balanced precariously on some rocks and pebbles of miscellaneous size on a beach somewhere.

"And now for something completely different."

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Zechs crawls up onto the beach out of the water, where we see the Tallgeese still floating, gasping, and panting in a torn Oz uniform.

"It's: "

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Maxwell Python's Flying Circus-s-s

: the words pop out of several beam scythes which are followed down into a flowerpot. A giant egg is dropped on the plant, which breaks to reveal a chibi Lady Une, minus glasses. Jumping happily around she runs in circles till a giant hand cutout puts her glasses on and then she promptly grows huge fangs and eats a flying flock of houses. Then she is mowed over a Wing Gundam with chicken wings. Scene follows over to a paper cut out of a naked Sally rolling by on a cart. She passes by Wufei dresses up in a judge's robes, he looks around suspiciously before lighting the fuse to his rocket booster behind his back and following her. Trieze is then dropped on his head in a tutu and they fall through the floor. Noin runs out holding a cardboard looking space Taurus around her middle, stops on an X looking suspiciously like Libra and is punched in the face by a big boxing glove on a spring. Dorothy then comes out from behind the wall flying the words "Maxwell Python's Flying Circus" on a kite. The whole scene is then stepped on by a giant cutout of a foot accompanied by a squishing noise.:::

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Trowa's voice is heard off screen to the green slides.

"how to recognize trees from really far away."

"and now number one" :::click::::

"the larch, the larch" :::click:: ::pic of a tree pops up:::

"the larch"

"and now number one" :::click::::

"the larch, the larch" :::click:: ::pic of a tree pops up:::

"the larch"

____________________________

Once again we see Duo sitting at his desk in his nice suit, however this time the desk is sitting in the middle of the road somewhere presumably in the area once called Britain.

"And now for a woman with a tape recorder up her nose."

Relena stands on a stage with a lovely red curtain backdrop. She is dressed all out in her Sank Kingdom Ambassador outfit. Looking at the crowd with a small smile on her face she holds up her index finger and exaggerates showing it to the crowd. After a little more of this she then smiles a bit more before calmly placing the finger up her nose. Out comes the sound of the beginning strains of White Reflection. Smirking a bit more she removes her finger and shows it once more to the crowd before sticking it up the other nostril as the sound of rewinding is heard. When it has rewound sufficiently she yanks out the digit shows it off again, then sticks it up the first nostril. This time as the music starts she begins to bob her head to the beat.

_______________________________

Heero's whispered voice is heard off screen.

"and now for the fish slapping dance"

Duo and Wufei are on a pier dressed in khakis, they stand glaring into the camera before the outfits are changed back to the priest uniform and martial arts thingy respectively. The funny music begins and Duo darts forward raising his knees very high and slaps Wufei on the face with two little fishies. Right fish hits left cheek and vice versa and then goes back to his original position some three feet away. This act is repeated several times, then he retreats back to where he started and stands still. Wufei gives the camera a very big smile then smacks Duo off the pier into the water with a very big salmon which has the words "Justice Fishie" written on its side.

____________________________

Catherine is sitting at a news desk dressed as a man, complete with moustache.

"and now for the Earthsphere Alliance Housewives Guild's production of the massacre at Maxwell church." Screen behind her is zooms in on and enlarged to fill the whole screen and shows Duke Dermail is dressed up as a very ugly woman.

"now what we were trying to do this year is try to put out a more cheerful play than last year's Battle at the Ancient Pearl Harbor. Of course we are the first Housewives Guild to use this production and we hope it will go over well" he says in a very feminine voice before bringing a whistle to his lips. Screen goes over to the beach as the whistle goes off. And Trieze, Pargan, Trowa, Quatre, Heero, Duo, Zechs, Alex and Mueller, who all rush out from the two different sides of the camera dressed in 70's women's clothing and hats and start to beat at each other with big baggy purses, before the whole thing ends up in a tackle.

____________________________

Trowa's voice is heard off screen to the green slides.

"and now number one" :::click::::

"the larch, the larch" :::click:: ::pic of a tree pops up:::

"the larch"

____________________________

Heero's whispered voice is heard off screen.

"and now how to make a sheep into an airplane"

Lady Une and Sally Po are standing in a classroom with a yellow backdrop, they're wearing lab coats and berets. And Sally has on a French looking moustache. They begin by pointing to the picture of a sheep with bird's wings on the blackboard and mumbling insensible things with a French accent all the while pointing at the sheep. They then get really excited and start hopping around flapping their arms like wings and "baaa"-ing like sheep. Once they have calmed down again they start to explain.

"en, hon, hon." starts Sally with her bad French accent. "now to make zee shee~p (pronounces the "p" with a "pop"-ing noise) fly-I-I? But how? " they then start running around pointing at the sheep and babbling nonsensical things that sound French. " ah zee wings! Zee wings!" they now gasp as if it's the most brilliant thing anyone's ever thought of.

"but to get it off ground?" Lady Une looks puzzled till Sally pulls off her moustache and sticks it, crookedly, on Une's face. "oh oh!" she gets an epiphany. "zee propelar!!" she then lifts up the sheep's tail and reveals a propeller coming out its butt. They jump around at this new idea before settling down once again. "et zee piolot?! A` la tete! A` la tete!!" baa-ing wildly they lift off a section of the sheep's head to show a cockpit. Peeling off the moustache and putting it back on Sally's face at a more outrageous angle they proceed.

"mais zee baggage? Et les voyagers? ! Ou? Ou? Ou est les voyagers?!" switching the moustache franticly between themselves they babble in something that sounds French but not quite which appears to be a discussion (term is used loosely) about where to put luggage and passengers. Taking the moustache back once again Sally looks to the audience very importantly and smugly. "un idee`! zee middle!" she now gets self-important and opens the midsection of the sheep via two flaps to show rows of seats and a luggage section. They are now in a little tizzy and are so excited that they start jumping up and down flapping their arms like chickens and "baa"-ing like sheep. After about two minutes of this the sheep now intact with only the wings to make it different takes off. It flies over a nice cardboard city and some countryside before it flies up to the cardboard Gundam HeavyArms, which then proceeds to shoot it out of the sky. The sheep banks sharply and falls headlong into the ground at a 90 degree angle.

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"and now number one" :::click::::

"the larch, the larch" :::click:: ::pic of a tree pops up:::

"the larch"

"and now number two" :::click::::

"the birch, the birch" :::click:: ::pic of a different tree pops up:::

"the birch"

Trieze walks up with a microphone to Alex and Mueller dressed as school boys.

"now are you confident that you could recognize a larch from really far away?" they just stare at him and the camera warily. "now what is your name?"

"Alex"

"now Alex do you think you could tell a larch from really far away?"

"I don't know "

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Duo's desk is now on the back of a moving truck, unfazed by this he continues in a calm voice:

"And now for a woman with a tape recorder up her bother's nose."

Once again the Sank princess is on her lovely red curtained stage, but in addition to her we also see Zechs handsomely dressed in his Ambassador's outfit as well leaning in toward his sister. Dramatically Relena once again shows off her index finger, and without further ado plunges it up her brother's right nostril. Again comes the sound of White Reflection. Pulling it out she then rewinds the music though the other side of his nose. The words 'And Now In Stereo' flash across the screen. Relena now takes both hands and shoves her index fingers up both Zechs' and her noses. The music comes out a bit off, but the two start to smile widely as they begin bobbing their heads to the music. The shot changes to show an empty amphitheater where only Noin and Dorothy stand clapping. Wufei then runs out in his little white Chinese out fit screaming and smacking people with his sword.

"Injustice!! Onna this show has become entirely too silly and it's going off now! Do you hear me?! ONNA!!"

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Author's notes: Stacey-Marie stands up and starts hopping from foot to foot in time with her song:

"Give me feedback

Gi~ve me feedback

Give me feedback

Give me fee~dback"

Having said that I can now tell you in good conscience that he next installment of this will include the Spam and the Blancmange sketches depending on the feed back I get for this…..