AN: The song is "Get You Alone," by The Donnas.
rock you in my car
feel the fire superstar
turn up the bass and adjust the seat
I'm on you like a shark on meat
At first, Fi trailed Annie fairly closely, intent on inflicting
some sort of physical harm on her apparent rival that would take
her out of the running in the competition that had arisen so
suddenly. However, when Annie, perpetually unsuspecting, made the
turn onto Collins Road, Fi was presented with a quandary. Annie
was going the wrong way. The note clearly said East, didn't it?
Fi had picked that spot for a good reason. East Collins Road
featured a couple of dilapidated buildings and then an abrupt
dead end. West was residential, marked by houses and liquor
stores and, most importantly, people. So what on Earth could she
do? Chase after her and tell her she made a wrong turn? No,
obviously not.
push the button on my stereo
then baby, we can go go go
I got new speakers that go really loud
I can't wait to get away from the crowd
She paused as Annie continued to walk cluelessly down West
Collins Road, looking furtively in all directions for the dreaded
spirit-animal kidnapper. Wait. Maybe this was the best thing that
could have happened. She turned around and began to sprint back
toward her own home. From there, she stopped only briefly to
catch her breath before continuing down the road toward the house
occupied by the object of her desire. Arriving at the house, she
rang the doorbell politely. Ned answered the door and smiled at
her somewhat quizzically. "Well, hi. What are you doing up
so late?"
"I'm sorry," she said, just now realizing the time.
"I kind of need to talk to Clu. Is he awake?"
Ned opened the door wider and gestured for her to come in.
"Of course."
c'mon, c'mon, I wanna get you alone
I wanna have you all to my own
c'mon I gotta get you alone
and lure you into the danger zone
Fi was ecstatic as she made her way toward Clu's room. She
knocked tentatively. He opened the door after a minute or two and
looked far more surprised than had Ned.
"Hey, Fi," he said sleepily. "What's up?"
"I need to talk. Can I come in?"
He nodded and stepped aside to let her in. "What's this
about? Aliens under your bed?" He laughed kindly at his own
joke.
"Not exactly," she replied sheepishly. The truth was,
she hadn't really thought about what she would do once she
actually got here. Oblivious to her inner turmoil, he kept right
on smiling ever-so-cutely at her. She finally smiled back.
"It's about Annie, actually."
"Is she okay?" His instant concern would have been
irritating if she hadn't been certain he would be equally worried
about any other member of their intertwined extended family.
"Well, she's fine," Fi said carefully. "Except
she's-she's evil."
I wanna take you down
but everyone's around
let's make them all go away
tonight I'm gonna make my play
He laughed. "You woke me up to tell me Annie's evil?"
"Clu! I'm serious. There's something off about her. Can't
you see it? She's happy, like, all the time. Her room. Have you
even seen her room? She sees an imaginary cat stalking her! Think
about it. Weird stuff happens to me because of my dad. What's her
excuse?" Clu smiled and shook his head. "I'm serious!
You've got to stop it. She's just creepy!"
"So, what, you think she's possessed or something?"
"No. But she might just be part of this conspiracy--"
He interrupted her, laughing gently. "You know you sound,
like, totally crazy right now, don't you?" He placed a hand
on her shoulder. "Maybe you need some sleep."
push the button on my stereo
then baby, we can go go go
I got new speakers that go really loud
I can't wait to get away from the crowd
"No," she said firmly, shoving him backward. If she
couldn't dissuade him from continuing down this disastrous path
with Annie, maybe she could contrive a way for Annie to be the
one to break things off with him. She paused, considering the
potential consequences of the new plan forming in her head. It
was true, she did feel a little crazy, more so than usual. Like
she was being propelled forward by forces beyond her control. She
shrugged. Might as well go with the flow. She was doing this for
his own good.
"Whoa," he said, briefly speechless. "Just
whoa." He sat down on the bed, running a hand through his
hair. "Maybe you need a doctor," he suggested.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"No," she admitted. "I feel very strange."
She supposed she should have guessed he would be a sucker for the
damsel in distress act. His disturbed expression changed into one
of pure concern.
"But I think I'll be okay for tonight. I'm gonna go home
now."
"You can't walk home alone in the dark," he said
reasonably.
"Of course I can. I made it here without getting
kidnapped." She nearly laughed. Kidnapped. She wondered if
Annie had ever caught on or if she was still wandering around out
there.
c'mon baby get in
let's turn up the sin
now it's dark and there's no one around
baby you make my heart pound
Clu sprang up from the bed quickly and dashed past her to open
the door in a display of mock gallantry. "I shall walk you
home," he announced.
She chose this moment to attack, lunging forward, pushing him
back against the now-open door. After a few moments, he finally
pulled away from her uncharacteristically bold embrace and
retreated further into the room again.
"Why did you do that?" he asked, visibly shaken.
"I had to! I had to find some way to help you get over
Annie," she explained, aware even as she said it of the
utter absurdity of that statement.
"I'm not under her!" he exploded. "We have a good
time sometimes! That's all! Why are you so jealous all of a
sudden?"
He stared at her, still standing in the doorway. But before she
could figure out how to answer, she noticed that his focus
shifted ever so slightly to a figure standing behind her in the
hallway. She had to smile. Who would have thought Annie could be
so quick on the uptake?
push the button on my stereo
then baby, we can go go go
I got new speakers that go really loud
I can't wait to get away from the crowd
No one said anything. Finally Clu shook his head. "I've got
to get away from you people," he said quickly, and,
appraising his chances of making it through the hallway
unscathed, opted instead to climb out his window and run off into
the night. Fi looked at Annie. Annie looked at Fi. Each had been
prepared to loathe the other, but now they silently and mutually
decided to transfer their animosity to the object of their
competing desire.
Annie sighed. "This has been the worst night. First,
Conrad's kidnapper didn't show, and now this."
Fi supposed she ought to say something about the spectacle Annie
had witnessed. "I'm sorry about what happened."
"Oh, it's okay. I'm actually cool with it," Annie
replied, though without much of her usual good cheer.
"You are?" Fi arched an eyebrow. She had never taken
Annie for the free-love type. Then again, she supposed she wasn't
exactly familiar with the customs of the people of Peru or
wherever it was Annie came from.
"If you hadn't done that," Annie explained, "then
I wouldn't know what he really thought. Or what a coward he is,
either."
"Come on," Fi offered. "Let's go back to the house
before anyone happens to notice that we're gone. Maybe we can
think of a way to solve our problem."
Annie smiled at her guilelessly, and Fi almost felt bad for
instigating this entire situation. But Annie had actually been
right, surprisingly enough--her evil plan had seemingly exposed
Clu's true nature, making it far easier to feel sorry for Annie
and also to forgive herself for her recent uncharacteristic foray
into the dark side. Only one more thing to take care of before
she could return to her normal self, she figured. Now, where
would he go?
c'mon, c'mon, I wanna get you
alone
I wanna have you all to my own
c'mon I wanna get you alone
and lure you into the danger zone
