AN: The song is "I Didn't Like You Anyway," by The Donnas.

you told me that it just couldn't be
you don't wanna go out with me
no I'm not sad, I don't even care
'cause dumb boys like you are everywhere
yeah, that's right

Fi was tempted to just go to sleep instead of devise a brand-new plan that they could carry out that night, but it occurred to her that these perfect circumstances might not come by again soon. She didn't bother to ask Annie her thoughts about what they should do. Although their post-Clu conversation had pointed out that Annie was not evil, merely misguidedly perky, Fi remained unconvinced about any hidden intellectual abilities beneath that flaky exterior. So she herself thought up a new and hopefully improved evil plot with which to exact their revenge upon the boy who had rejected them both within the space of five minutes.

Molly had since returned home, but she was presumably asleep. The same was true for Jack. The house was quiet, and even Annie could figure out that Clu wouldn't stay away from home for very long. It was late and this was Hope Springs; there was nowhere to stay out late even if you wanted to. He would probably just stay away long enough to make sure they weren't coming back. That was just fine--it gave Fi plenty of time to prepare for their return visit.

so B-O-R-I-N-G, too bad you're not the boy for me
B-O-R-I-N-G, I wanted something quick and easy
I didn't like you anyway, I was just looking for fun
I didn't like you anyway, I'm a speed demon on the run

"You're not wearing that."

"What?" Annie looked hurt. Fi shook her head. The whole room was dark. Fi was dressed entirely in black. And so was Annie, except for a thick white stripe, illuminated perfectly by the moonlight streaming through nearby windows, around her midsection.

"This is a break-in," Fi explained. "Not a fashion show. No low-rise jeans. No belly shirt. Go change. I'll wait."

Annie rolled her eyes--well, Fi couldn't actually see her eyes rolling, but she considered it a fair assumption--and sighed before stomping lightly back to her room.

you thought I would be brokenhearted
maybe I would if you weren't so retarded
I ask your name, you don't even know
you should've dumped me on that talk show

As they approached the Bell residence for the second time that evening, Annie said thoughtfully, "What if we get in trouble?" She hated to bring up that unpleasant concept, because she was quite enjoying being sneaky, but she felt it was necessary to make sure that Fi had a plan for that scenario too.

"Then then we just say we're playing a trick or a practical joke on an old friend. As long as we don't break anything, who's going to care?"

"Well, okay," Annie hesitated. "But what--what if Ned hears us and comes down with a shotgun or something?"

Fi replied, "Don't worry about it. I'll check the doors. You go check the windows."

After a minimal number of seconds had passed, Annie called out softly but triumphantly: "Found one!"

"Excellent," Fi grinned. "You go first." Just in case that shotgun idea turned out to be true.

B-O-R-I-N-G, too bad you're not the boy for me
B-O-R-I-N-G, I wanted something quick and easy
I didn't like you anyway, I was just looking for fun
I didn't like you anyway, I'm a speed demon on the run

They crept down the hall stealthily. Fi slipped ahead of Annie and pushed Clu's door open carefully. She peeked in. Clu was sound asleep. She nodded sharply at Annie, who closed the bedroom door behind them as soundlessly as possible and produced a roll of masking tape from their supply bag, which Fi had ordered her to carry. (She didn't mind. Exercise was cool.) She tossed that roll to Fi and pulled out another for herself. Fi yanked the bedspread back and bound his wrists while Annie quickly bit off a slip to temporarily tape over his mouth. Then she took care of his ankles. It took a few seconds for Clu to understand what was going on, having been awakened by the interruption of breath caused by the masking tape across his mouth. He began to make amorphous noises of the mmph and ggrmmmgrmph variety and continued to do so as the girls struggled to shove his body into a sitting position.

I think that nasal spray got to your brain
I knew you were lame from your wallet chain
a boston baked bean is the size of your head
I heard you even wet your bed

"No," Fi commanded, making sure to keep her voice down. "You don't get to make noise right now. You listen, we talk. Get it?"

He nodded, more than a little disturbed by the new sides of Fi and Annie he was seeing now.

"That was really rude before," Annie pointed out. "We just wanted to have a chance to talk to you about, you know, things."

"Like your crappy attitude about Annie."

"And letting Fi kiss you like that? That's so not cool."

"Yeah," Fi agreed, a little uncertainly. "Not cool!"

"Let's take the tape off," Annie suggested. "Let him defend himself."

"Okay, first off, why should he get to defend himself? And second off um, well, no, okay? Just no."

Annie narrowed her eyes. She was used to Fi being bossy. It was her nature. Annie was cool with that. She was sure there were probably things about her personality that Fi didn't like either. But this was going much too far. What was Fi even doing there? Annie was the girlfriend. If Fi had really just been trying to help her, why was she so upset all of the sudden? She became determined to get her way and find out what was really going on. "I want the tape off," she announced blithely, and made it so.

B-O-R-I-N-G, too bad you're not the boy for me
B-O-R-I-N-G, I wanted something quick and easy
I didn't like you anyway, I was just looking for fun
I didn't like you anyway, I'm a speed demon on the run

He gasped for breath. "Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever." Fi was pretty sure she could hear the eyes rolling again. "So what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Who cares?" Fi interrupted. "Let's just--"

"Be quiet," Annie snapped and Fi was so taken aback that for quite possibly the first time in her life she actually did as she was told without raising any objections.

Annie folded her arms across her chest and stared hard at Clu. "Go ahead. Talk."

That's right, Fi reminded herself. She's the girlfriend. She's the one who was hurt here. And it's pretty much all your fault, isn't it? If you had just left things alone, we could be at home right now. Asleep. Warm. But no, you had to go and get jealous and become convinced that Annie was evil and kidnap her imaginary friend so that you could put the moves on her boyfriend. What's wrong with you? Well, wait. If I hadn't done that, then Annie would never have found out that Clu didn't take their whole thing seriously. Yeah, whatever, you can rationalize to your heart's content. But that doesn't answer the most simple question: why were you so upset that they were together?

I didn't like you
I didn't like you
I didn't like you
I didn't like you

Fi suddenly realized that she had totally been spacing out and not paying any attention to Clu's attempt to explain himself, and wasn't that sort of what she had come for? She caught the tail end of it: "and then she said you were evil and threw herself at me. What was I supp--"

"Back up," Annie cut him off. "She did what?"

"She threw herself at me."

"Yeah, no shit. The other thing."

"She said you were evil?"

Annie turned on Fi. "You said that?"

"She also said that you were part of some conspiracy or something." He glanced at Fi, who was looking severely alarmed as she racked her brain for an explanation. He wasn't worried; Fi had always been a quick thinker. "Sorry to sell you out there, dude."

"I'm not a dude," she told him indignantly, stalling while she mentally put a response together.

"Fi!" Annie exclaimed.

"All right, it's true, I did say that."

"Fi! I can't believe you!"

"Well, it's not like he believed it," she offered lamely.

"I was barely even listening," he assured Annie.

"Not helping, dude," Fi told him sheepishly. But Annie refused to be distracted from her line of questioning.

"Is that really what you think? That I'm some kind of evil conspirator?"

I'm not even sure you could spell conspirator. No, she couldn't say that. Think fast, think fast. "Um well"

Clu settled back against the headboard and watched the two standing girls face off on either side of him with rapidly increasing glee. This might just turn out to be fun.