To Love or To Kill
Chapter 11: Absence Made the Heart Grow…Weaker
In a world painted mostly blue, there rarely stood the fences with deeper green than the other side. For each darker acre would show a more bleaker depth to those that came before it. Things could only get better in time, you could only become more wiser in time, more independent in time, more responsible in time, love someone even more in time, and so on. For in time a lot could be said and done. Thoughts exceeding the decade before when it had just been a mere immature idea that could be awakened to an aspiring business. The view of an entrepreneurs success. Start with nothing and end with everything. But it could never quite end up like that, things weren't made simple. In times there was always a struggle and the more one struggled the more one could realize nothing was in black and white. And that the green sides of fences weren't as simple as leaping to that other side.
A thought in tact, a truth had been revealed. Love, absence, and not knowing what you had until it's gone. Gone like no other, because with what you experienced. It was something people wait a lifetime to feel. No turning points since time was unforgiving. With time, true feelings would show and tell more to a person that may have been known. From the nature of one person's revenge to the identity of one person's actual life. Could love withstand that struggle in time, or forever be forgotten until absence filled the heart like a plaguing void. In time could one person forget a mistake of love and obsession to the beauty who's name stood for such horror?…
*******************
December 19, 2002
Gaping flesh wounds, severed heads, and blood curdling screams projected from the Black living room as Brady sat on the couch like a potato with popcorn being pouched into his Indian crossed legs.
Mesmerized by the ignorance of the characters in horror movies. Instead of staying in a group, everyone wants to turn independent even though they still depend on their parents to clothe them. Or instead of staying in lit areas they (being the airhead teenagers) want to go galloping into a dark side street or spooky alley in an unfamiliar neighborhood. And the number one most irritating yet amusing thing they do is 'investigate the noise'. They can never just go hide and play dead somewhere…naw, they have to be Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew. Never can they just be the bright crayon in the crayola box.
Crunching and munching off his popcorn, Brady threw fistfuls in his mouth chomping away as the movie continued to indulge his senses.
"Do you ever plan on sharing that?" Phillip questioned as he got his most amusing moments watching Brady be… like a guy and not some obsessed business tycoon in a young mans body. It was nice seeing him takes some days off for the holiday season to spend with his family. But that still didn't stop him from picking up guy type ways so quickly on his hiatus.
"Nope" Brady quipped quickly never taking his eyes away from the light.
Phillip felt himself about to respond but stopped when he heard keys jingling and the front door being unlocked, 'Amen' he thought as he figured it may be Belle and Mimi returning from their early morning shopping.
"Hey Brady," Belle said entering first as Mimi stepped to her side to get past the doorway.
"Hi Brady" was what Mimi offered as she was eager to go upstairs and unload the plentiful amounts of shopping bags the two girls occupied.
"hey" was all Brady said as he went back to his *thing* for the day.
Phillip immediately got up once he saw the two females enter, "May I help?". Eyes quietly pleading he could help before he suffered more starvation of needing to get away from some whacked out teenage horror flick.
Belle smiled and couldn't help but notice Phillip's reaction to their entrance and his wanting to get away from Brady's entertainment. "Sure Phillip but what are you doing here?"
Brady even stopped for that answer, "Yeah what are you doing here. I forgot to ask you earlier. You know, to busy trying to get back to lounging so I just let you in since your finger was glued to the doorbell."
Smiling Phillip rolled his eyes to Brady's amount of sarcasm that could never be left out on a vacation. Nope wherever the dork went, it went. It was like his calling to be a pain in the a$$ when it came to saying the right words at the wrong time to people. "Well actually, BELLE" Philip emphasized before he continued, "I was actually trying to seek advice from you since you're a girl. And it is the season for giving…and I was trying to…"
"Say no more Phillip," Belle brightly interrupted. As Mimi shook her head knowing Belle must be thinking Phillip was going to mention this being about her.
"I knew you could help Belle!" Phillip hugged Belle tightly, "I was so worried about getting Chloe something she might not like. I mean I know we're just friends and I'm happy with that, but she has been letting on a lot lately that this guy she was hoping of pursuing might not feel the same…."
Words began to drown out after Phillip said Chloe for both Brady and Belle. Reentrance to what Phillip said for Brady came when he mentioned that there had been a guy she was interested in but he appeared not to share mutual feelings.
'…that this guy she was hoping of pursuing might not feel the same. She figured he only thought of her as a friend. I think that's why she's been so quiet lately. Since she did tell him how she felt one day in a sense. I just feel bad for the guy, his loss my gain (then came a slight chuckle form Phillip) ' was the only thing that kept running back in forth in Brady's mind as he left from the engraved couch seat and upstairs to his room quietly. His mind was too gone and out of range for him to have heard Belle ask what was wrong, or hear Mimi's playful comment he might need to clear his pipes, or Phillip's last comment, "I think she even loved him.."
**************
December 20, 2002
Chloe sat at the edge of her window pain amazed as little drops of hope slowly fell to blanket the hopeless ground below. Staring across the view her one window offered she looked for a sign. Something in the distant background past the overriding tree that blocked her path. It was as if things weren't meant to be seen clear and made as easy as just watching for something to happen. So she waited. Waited for him to get the hint, for him to begin to understand how much he meant to her, and for him to realize that being just friend was not what she wanted any longer.
Had there been something road blocking her and Brady from being with each other that she couldn't see. Something that was so deep and troubling that it could not be seen by the naked eye. Something she knew but he didn't and had he known it would possibly put a future love in danger. Was that the sign? The tree, speaking to her by just being deeply rooted there. Maybe it was best being a dream forgotten and left for only at night.
A slow tear went trailed down her eyes at the realization that she may never be anything more to Brady than a friend. And he and her would continue with what they had. For him it would be the usual, to her it would continue to be the torture of having to be hear him yet not be with him. Looking down to the photo of her and Brady that rainy October night brought back that memory for her. That close moment that could have made things different now. If only he had just kissed her or maybe had she just reached up to him to make that simple contact. But she knew if she had done so, her urgency would have shown clear to her pulsated and rapid movements if she ever touched his lips.
So soft and smooth, she remembered about his lips. She touched them with her index finger one day when a tear had trailed down upon it.
"It should die on my lips," Chloe whispered softly as she moved her finger to touch hers. When Thanksgiving at the Black home rolled around, Brady thought of a past Thanksgiving and how this year would be different without his father. He'd acted so strange that day. He kept referring to a man and whose name he'd not mention but blamed was the reason for his father's death. A man of great power and how he had controlled his father's life once and almost ruined it.
"Almost" Brady said heatedly when he lightly brushed past Chloe's reassuring palms.
And that's when Chloe realized that very day, she realized nothing. Nothing was to come from this. If he had wanted her he could have had her right then. In a sense for someone to be there for him physically and mentally, but he brushed past her words and brushed past her love she'd have for him. Actions spoke louder than words, and actions hurt despite whatever Brady could ever say to her.
Sighing, Chloe blinked another tear to her eye. A wave of wanting to just bust surrounded her. Having not realized that such a memory could stir her up once again. But she knew she had to control her emotions, her father would be coming soon. He was going to be back in town despite much of her mother's refusal she had gotten her way and he would be having dinner with them Christmas Eve.
Touching the ice cold window, she held her head low as she walked away from it murmuring Brady's name one last time.
Settled onto her bed now, she wrapped her body up tightly and shook as tears racked her body. How could something she never had hurt so much?
--------------
The doorbell chimed in the Wesley House as Nancy walked from the foyer to the door. She had precaution as to who it might be but she hadn't expected him to show up so late. And then Nancy knew what it would mean… The thought terrified her as to what it might bring for Chloe. She'd already been so withdrawn lately so it was a motherly reply to help that she gave in to the visitor.
"Hi, Mrs. Wesley"
"Brady, Hi. Come in, please, I know it must be a chill out there," said Nancy happily yet nervous of what happened if Chloe's father, who would be arriving soon showed up. Nancy knew for a fact Brady hadn't known who Chloe's real father was and having lived in Salem long enough she knew the destruction he caused here. But who would have known that Chloe's and Brady's path would cross. 'He did' Nancy thought. It was the plan to begin with and one of the reasons she hadn't wanted Chloe modeling for Basic Black.
"Is something wrong Mrs. Wesley? You've been standing here quietly for the last minute."
Rattling her mind back, "I'm sorry, just a little busy because we're expecting company over. An old friend of mines…" Nancy said in hopes of not giving too much away but just enough to get Brady away from the house quick enough.
"Oh, well I'm sorry, can I just go up to speak with Chloe, I promise it'll be 5 minutes at the most. I just need to see her." Pleading eyes of sadness caused Nancy to give in and go into the living room to keep a watch. She couldn't let Brady be here when Stefano arrived. Besides the fact that she knew how most people felt about Stefano, there as something in Brady's demeanor, a vibe that made if feel as if harm to Chloe could be done as well.
--------------
Brady lightly tapped Chloe's door with his knuckle. And when she hadn't answered he slowly turned the handle to her room. It opened to reveal a lit room from the snow outside cascading through from the window.
Walking slowly to Chloe's bedside he kneeled in front of it and noticed the stained tear trails that were dry. And watched as another came from her closed eyes, in her sleep she cried. For a reason outside his control, Brady felt bad. Knowing that this pain could have been caused by him and easily avoided if he had just stopped to look and give in to what he tried not to do.
He caressed her side and carefully glided his index finger to the fresh tear and moved it to his lips, "It can die on my lips, now."
Brady smiled as he heard Chloe murmur his name incoherently. But he was still able to feel the effect of hearing the last syllable 'dy.'
"Your so beautiful," he whispered to her.
Brady wished this moment could go on. He was here and she was here, for all it was worth, this moment mattered. Something told him it was either now or never. If he didn't reveal how he felt about her now, something was saying, and lurking feeling kept mentioning it may never happen.
Nancy tapped the door further open, "Brady, your sister's at the door for you. And I hate to force you out but as I said earlier we are expecting a guest."
So there it was. Placing a butterfly kiss upon her cheek he knew. In that instant his moment was gone. Brady pushed off from his knee to stand and left Chloe. He left her what seemed like forever.
TBC…..
Chapter 11: Absence Made the Heart Grow…Weaker
In a world painted mostly blue, there rarely stood the fences with deeper green than the other side. For each darker acre would show a more bleaker depth to those that came before it. Things could only get better in time, you could only become more wiser in time, more independent in time, more responsible in time, love someone even more in time, and so on. For in time a lot could be said and done. Thoughts exceeding the decade before when it had just been a mere immature idea that could be awakened to an aspiring business. The view of an entrepreneurs success. Start with nothing and end with everything. But it could never quite end up like that, things weren't made simple. In times there was always a struggle and the more one struggled the more one could realize nothing was in black and white. And that the green sides of fences weren't as simple as leaping to that other side.
A thought in tact, a truth had been revealed. Love, absence, and not knowing what you had until it's gone. Gone like no other, because with what you experienced. It was something people wait a lifetime to feel. No turning points since time was unforgiving. With time, true feelings would show and tell more to a person that may have been known. From the nature of one person's revenge to the identity of one person's actual life. Could love withstand that struggle in time, or forever be forgotten until absence filled the heart like a plaguing void. In time could one person forget a mistake of love and obsession to the beauty who's name stood for such horror?…
*******************
December 19, 2002
Gaping flesh wounds, severed heads, and blood curdling screams projected from the Black living room as Brady sat on the couch like a potato with popcorn being pouched into his Indian crossed legs.
Mesmerized by the ignorance of the characters in horror movies. Instead of staying in a group, everyone wants to turn independent even though they still depend on their parents to clothe them. Or instead of staying in lit areas they (being the airhead teenagers) want to go galloping into a dark side street or spooky alley in an unfamiliar neighborhood. And the number one most irritating yet amusing thing they do is 'investigate the noise'. They can never just go hide and play dead somewhere…naw, they have to be Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew. Never can they just be the bright crayon in the crayola box.
Crunching and munching off his popcorn, Brady threw fistfuls in his mouth chomping away as the movie continued to indulge his senses.
"Do you ever plan on sharing that?" Phillip questioned as he got his most amusing moments watching Brady be… like a guy and not some obsessed business tycoon in a young mans body. It was nice seeing him takes some days off for the holiday season to spend with his family. But that still didn't stop him from picking up guy type ways so quickly on his hiatus.
"Nope" Brady quipped quickly never taking his eyes away from the light.
Phillip felt himself about to respond but stopped when he heard keys jingling and the front door being unlocked, 'Amen' he thought as he figured it may be Belle and Mimi returning from their early morning shopping.
"Hey Brady," Belle said entering first as Mimi stepped to her side to get past the doorway.
"Hi Brady" was what Mimi offered as she was eager to go upstairs and unload the plentiful amounts of shopping bags the two girls occupied.
"hey" was all Brady said as he went back to his *thing* for the day.
Phillip immediately got up once he saw the two females enter, "May I help?". Eyes quietly pleading he could help before he suffered more starvation of needing to get away from some whacked out teenage horror flick.
Belle smiled and couldn't help but notice Phillip's reaction to their entrance and his wanting to get away from Brady's entertainment. "Sure Phillip but what are you doing here?"
Brady even stopped for that answer, "Yeah what are you doing here. I forgot to ask you earlier. You know, to busy trying to get back to lounging so I just let you in since your finger was glued to the doorbell."
Smiling Phillip rolled his eyes to Brady's amount of sarcasm that could never be left out on a vacation. Nope wherever the dork went, it went. It was like his calling to be a pain in the a$$ when it came to saying the right words at the wrong time to people. "Well actually, BELLE" Philip emphasized before he continued, "I was actually trying to seek advice from you since you're a girl. And it is the season for giving…and I was trying to…"
"Say no more Phillip," Belle brightly interrupted. As Mimi shook her head knowing Belle must be thinking Phillip was going to mention this being about her.
"I knew you could help Belle!" Phillip hugged Belle tightly, "I was so worried about getting Chloe something she might not like. I mean I know we're just friends and I'm happy with that, but she has been letting on a lot lately that this guy she was hoping of pursuing might not feel the same…."
Words began to drown out after Phillip said Chloe for both Brady and Belle. Reentrance to what Phillip said for Brady came when he mentioned that there had been a guy she was interested in but he appeared not to share mutual feelings.
'…that this guy she was hoping of pursuing might not feel the same. She figured he only thought of her as a friend. I think that's why she's been so quiet lately. Since she did tell him how she felt one day in a sense. I just feel bad for the guy, his loss my gain (then came a slight chuckle form Phillip) ' was the only thing that kept running back in forth in Brady's mind as he left from the engraved couch seat and upstairs to his room quietly. His mind was too gone and out of range for him to have heard Belle ask what was wrong, or hear Mimi's playful comment he might need to clear his pipes, or Phillip's last comment, "I think she even loved him.."
**************
December 20, 2002
Chloe sat at the edge of her window pain amazed as little drops of hope slowly fell to blanket the hopeless ground below. Staring across the view her one window offered she looked for a sign. Something in the distant background past the overriding tree that blocked her path. It was as if things weren't meant to be seen clear and made as easy as just watching for something to happen. So she waited. Waited for him to get the hint, for him to begin to understand how much he meant to her, and for him to realize that being just friend was not what she wanted any longer.
Had there been something road blocking her and Brady from being with each other that she couldn't see. Something that was so deep and troubling that it could not be seen by the naked eye. Something she knew but he didn't and had he known it would possibly put a future love in danger. Was that the sign? The tree, speaking to her by just being deeply rooted there. Maybe it was best being a dream forgotten and left for only at night.
A slow tear went trailed down her eyes at the realization that she may never be anything more to Brady than a friend. And he and her would continue with what they had. For him it would be the usual, to her it would continue to be the torture of having to be hear him yet not be with him. Looking down to the photo of her and Brady that rainy October night brought back that memory for her. That close moment that could have made things different now. If only he had just kissed her or maybe had she just reached up to him to make that simple contact. But she knew if she had done so, her urgency would have shown clear to her pulsated and rapid movements if she ever touched his lips.
So soft and smooth, she remembered about his lips. She touched them with her index finger one day when a tear had trailed down upon it.
"It should die on my lips," Chloe whispered softly as she moved her finger to touch hers. When Thanksgiving at the Black home rolled around, Brady thought of a past Thanksgiving and how this year would be different without his father. He'd acted so strange that day. He kept referring to a man and whose name he'd not mention but blamed was the reason for his father's death. A man of great power and how he had controlled his father's life once and almost ruined it.
"Almost" Brady said heatedly when he lightly brushed past Chloe's reassuring palms.
And that's when Chloe realized that very day, she realized nothing. Nothing was to come from this. If he had wanted her he could have had her right then. In a sense for someone to be there for him physically and mentally, but he brushed past her words and brushed past her love she'd have for him. Actions spoke louder than words, and actions hurt despite whatever Brady could ever say to her.
Sighing, Chloe blinked another tear to her eye. A wave of wanting to just bust surrounded her. Having not realized that such a memory could stir her up once again. But she knew she had to control her emotions, her father would be coming soon. He was going to be back in town despite much of her mother's refusal she had gotten her way and he would be having dinner with them Christmas Eve.
Touching the ice cold window, she held her head low as she walked away from it murmuring Brady's name one last time.
Settled onto her bed now, she wrapped her body up tightly and shook as tears racked her body. How could something she never had hurt so much?
--------------
The doorbell chimed in the Wesley House as Nancy walked from the foyer to the door. She had precaution as to who it might be but she hadn't expected him to show up so late. And then Nancy knew what it would mean… The thought terrified her as to what it might bring for Chloe. She'd already been so withdrawn lately so it was a motherly reply to help that she gave in to the visitor.
"Hi, Mrs. Wesley"
"Brady, Hi. Come in, please, I know it must be a chill out there," said Nancy happily yet nervous of what happened if Chloe's father, who would be arriving soon showed up. Nancy knew for a fact Brady hadn't known who Chloe's real father was and having lived in Salem long enough she knew the destruction he caused here. But who would have known that Chloe's and Brady's path would cross. 'He did' Nancy thought. It was the plan to begin with and one of the reasons she hadn't wanted Chloe modeling for Basic Black.
"Is something wrong Mrs. Wesley? You've been standing here quietly for the last minute."
Rattling her mind back, "I'm sorry, just a little busy because we're expecting company over. An old friend of mines…" Nancy said in hopes of not giving too much away but just enough to get Brady away from the house quick enough.
"Oh, well I'm sorry, can I just go up to speak with Chloe, I promise it'll be 5 minutes at the most. I just need to see her." Pleading eyes of sadness caused Nancy to give in and go into the living room to keep a watch. She couldn't let Brady be here when Stefano arrived. Besides the fact that she knew how most people felt about Stefano, there as something in Brady's demeanor, a vibe that made if feel as if harm to Chloe could be done as well.
--------------
Brady lightly tapped Chloe's door with his knuckle. And when she hadn't answered he slowly turned the handle to her room. It opened to reveal a lit room from the snow outside cascading through from the window.
Walking slowly to Chloe's bedside he kneeled in front of it and noticed the stained tear trails that were dry. And watched as another came from her closed eyes, in her sleep she cried. For a reason outside his control, Brady felt bad. Knowing that this pain could have been caused by him and easily avoided if he had just stopped to look and give in to what he tried not to do.
He caressed her side and carefully glided his index finger to the fresh tear and moved it to his lips, "It can die on my lips, now."
Brady smiled as he heard Chloe murmur his name incoherently. But he was still able to feel the effect of hearing the last syllable 'dy.'
"Your so beautiful," he whispered to her.
Brady wished this moment could go on. He was here and she was here, for all it was worth, this moment mattered. Something told him it was either now or never. If he didn't reveal how he felt about her now, something was saying, and lurking feeling kept mentioning it may never happen.
Nancy tapped the door further open, "Brady, your sister's at the door for you. And I hate to force you out but as I said earlier we are expecting a guest."
So there it was. Placing a butterfly kiss upon her cheek he knew. In that instant his moment was gone. Brady pushed off from his knee to stand and left Chloe. He left her what seemed like forever.
TBC…..