AN: The song is "Let's Rab," by The Donnas. Thanks for reading! :)

let's rab! come on baby
let's rab, let's rab, let's rab all over right now
let's rab, let's rab, let's rab right over right now

The argument progressed quickly through the usual stages: verbal sparring (Fi had an advantage in that round), insults (Annie revealed a surprising adeptness in that round), hair-pulling (at this point, a draw). They whispered, so as not to alert anyone else in the house to their presence, and Clu couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Basically the fight had been one long hissing match. As both combatants had quite a lot of hair, the current phase was particularly entertaining. Clu was reluctant to break it up, having been a mostly quiet observer so far. But bald spots would be unattractive, and then he would have to feel guilty until the yanked-out hair grew back, but even then it would never look right, so he cleared his throat and spoke up. "Hey, come on!"

The girls registered no sign of having heard him. Briefly, Clu wondered if this was some kind of sign from above or wherever that he shouldn't interrupt. After all, the next stage would probably be clothes-tearing. He took a moment to indulge in a visualization of this next argument plateau. Considering the possibility suddenly brought him a brilliant idea. He tried again. "Hey! Girls!" Nothing. "All right, listen up, dudes!"

"We are not dudes," they gritted in unison, without ceasing their struggle.

I wanna rab with you
'cause I know you want me to
I wanna rab with you
'cause I know you want me too

"Betty! Veronica! Chill out! We can solve this right now."

Fi and Annie paused long enough to disentangle hands from hair and retract nails from skin before turning their hostile glares from each other to him. He grinned, ludicrously, raising their ire further and causing each to momentarily forget the cause of the fight. Was this his brilliant plan? Perhaps it would work. It seemed, in fact, to be working already.

"What?" Annie finally snapped, at the same time Fi demanded, "So?"

"Three's company," he announced smugly, looking at them as if he expected to be awarded the Nobel Prize any second. But the girls just looked confused.

"I don't get it," said Annie.

"You're going to pretend you're gay, like that guy on the show?" asked Fi.

He sighed. "No. Like the expression. You know? 'Three's company.'"

"No," Fi pointed out, "the expression is 'two's company.'"

Annie stared at Fi coolly. "And three's a crowd."

Fi opened her mouth to launch into Round 4 of the argument, but before she could, Clu interrupted her. "Not always."

"Not always what?"

"Three..."--here he paused for emphasis--"is not always a crowd." Clu raised his eyebrows suggestively, leaping with glee inside as the girls failed to reject his offer right away. Was it possible?

let's rab, oh hell now
let's rab, let's rab, not like you don't know how
let's rab, let's rab, not like I tell you how

Fi looked at Annie.

Annie looked at Fi.

No one said anything.

Annie shrugged. "All right," she said. "I'm game. Why not?"

Fi wrinkled her nose in distaste. The idea itself was rather foreign, the territory of the sort of late-night cable movies Jack claimed he didn't watch. But hey, it was the 21st century, after all, why not redefine sexual boundaries? The problem was with the company she would be forced to keep. Putting aside her issues with Annie, she wasn't even sure if she wanted Clu, after everything she'd been through to "get" him. She had tried explaining to Annie that she hadn't been trying to ensnare him in her clutches or anything, she was simply protecting a friend. It had seemed reasonable at the time. But now all of a sudden she was forced to reconsider her relationship with this boy, who she'd known since birth, who she'd seen do a lot of really gross things, who had seen her do a lot of really gross things, who was almost like a brother, but not quite.

if people want me to, then I guess I'll have to
let's rab, let's rab
if people want me to, then I guess I'll have to

It was tempting to say, "No thanks, you make a very pretty couple," and walk away. Could she simply let Annie win? Could she let Clu go? She wished for guidance from--well, not the spirit world, obviously, because her dad was in there, and that would just be gross. She hoped for guidance from somewhere, then, anywhere at all. Even Annie's idiotic Talking Board would be a welcome source of advice right now. But no one could make this decision for her. She took a deep breath.

"All right," she said. "I'm game. Why not?"

Clu smiled so wide his face threatened to break in half. Annie untied his hands nervously. Fi closed her eyes.

I wanna rab with you
'cause I know you want me to
let's rab
I wanna rab with you 'cause I know you want me too

In the morning, the girls left the way they had come in. They retreated to separate bedrooms to sleep and when they awoke sometime later in the afternoon, the tension between them was fierce. Everyone else who encountered them was oblivious to the change in their relationship from ambivalent to hostile to... this. Later they had a discussion, minus Clu, about how to handle the whole thing. Should they pretend it never happened, or should they let it happen again? Should they keep it a secret? Of course they would keep it a secret. The other questions were more difficult to answer.

But they finally reached a conclusion, and agreed to a grudging truce that might be the first step on the road to genuine friendship. Fi still thought Annie was, for lack of a better term, a fruitcake. And Annie still admired Fi's intelligence, but not her fashion sense. But maybe, just maybe, there was more to Annie than invisible panthers and maybe there was more to Fi than clear lip gloss. And Clu? They agreed that he was very pretty, but rather shallow and not very bright. Both felt a type of almost-sisterly affection toward him. But he had just one true purpose, and he was quite happy to fulfill it for the rest of the time they spent together.

Later, Jack wondered how he had found himself excluded from the group. Fi, Annie, and Clu went everywhere and did everything together now, often forgetting to invite him along. He figured it made sense for Carey to be excluded; he was older, almost more of an adult than "one of them." But he had once been a crucial member of the team, and now he was perpetually benched on the sidelines. It was true that he had his own friends, and he had girlfriends, and he did things on his own, but he missed the way the friendship used to be. And he wondered what had changed, and why he hadn't noticed that it had changed.

The truth, however, never occurred to him. Or anyone else.