Part 6
Sora shut the door to her dorm room behind her. Thankful that she didn't have a roommate, she collapsed on her bed as the tears she had been trying to hold in broke through, and her heart collapsed in pain. Did he realize who she was? Had she hurt him so much that he had completely wiped her away form his memory? It had felt right, saying that she loved him. But she was still also lost in the pain she had caused herself and had caused Spike. Sora drifted off into an uneasy sleep as the night sky just began to lighten with the approaching dawn.
Spike slumped down against the wall, lowering himself to the ground. The memories that he had been fighting to forget broke through. Her face invaded his mind. The same face that had been looking up at him only minutes before. How was this possible? She was dead. Or at least she was supposed to be. She wasn't a demon. He would be able to sense that. Spike lit up a cigarette and leaned his head against the cold cement wall. He remembered when he first saw her. For him, it was love at first sight. It was at a dinner party at her father's house. He had come in late and found her in the parlor surrounded by all the other dinner guests, entertaining them by playing the harpsichord. He stood frozen in the entranceway, captivated be her music, her grace, her beauty. As she ended the song, her eyes met his and she gave him a blushing smile.
Spike shook his head as he rubbed the cigarette out. He stood up suddenly, realizing that this was his second chance. To have the girl who he had truly loved. To have his Music Goddess, who would never hurt him again. But loved him with all her soul and heart. Whom he loved with all his being. Grabbing his duster, he quickly ran through the streets of Sunnydale, making it to Giles' just before the sun broke through the horizon.
"Where is she?" Spike asked seeing only Angel in the room.
"What do you mean? Isn't she with you?" Angel asked standing up.
"She left. I thought she would have come here. She was upset." Spike said moving into the room. Angel shook his head and sat back down.
"No. She probably went back to the dorms. So now you know?"
"I'm a moron!" Spike growled sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room. "I mean, out of both of us, you would think that I would have seen it! She looks almost the bloody same."
"It's her hair that's different." Angel said quietly.
"Yeah. It's darker. Suits her better, though." Spike said.
"She loves you, you know." Angel said.
"So she told me." Spike said staring down at his hands.
"You should believe her. It took her a long time to admit that out loud." Angel explained.
"I do believe her. It's just bloody impossible that she's here! She died! That bastard killed her! I knew she shouldn't have married him." Spike said.
"We all knew that she shouldn't marry him. She was just too stubborn to listen to our warnings." Angel replied.
"So how is it that she's here, Peaches?" Spike asked looking up at his grandsire. He hated sitting there and actually talking to him but a small part of him enjoyed it. It felt good to let himself remember.
"She was reincarnated. She said that she had dreams, which she realized were memories. She did some type of spell which, what Rupert and I guess, reunited her two lives." Angel explained.
"She didn't tell me any of this." Spike said.
"Well did you let her? Or did you make it even harder for her by denying it?" Angel asked accusingly knowing that Spike most likely reacted not too well.
"Even worse. Along with the denial I bloody went and told her to get out. I screwed up." Spike said running a hand over his face.
"Yeah you did. Now what are you planning to do now before you lose her again?" Angel asked.
"I don't know! Like I said, I screwed up! I know that. But it's not like I go apologizing. I may have this chip in my head but I haven't gone all soft or anything." Spike cried out pacing the length of the room.
"Want to know what I think?" Angel said.
"Not really but I know you'll tell me anyway."
"You need to talk to her. You need to listen and not be the arrogant ass that you are. Then you need to tell her how you feel." Angel said.
"Easier said then done." Spike mumbled sitting back down.
"Why don't you call her and ask her to come here." Angel suggested.
"Oh yeah. Like she's just going to come running over here after what I said." Spike said rolling his eyes.
"It's worth a shot." Angel said. Spike shrugged and stood going over to the phone. Dialing her dorm number, he let it ring several times until he finally heard it pick up.
Sora groaned into the pillow as she heard the phone start ringing. Looking over at the clock, she saw it was only 7 am. She still had a few hours until her first class started. Sora reached over and picked up the phone.
"What do you want?" Sora said in a grumpy and hoarse voice.
"Sora?" a British voice said from the other end of the line.
"Spike? Do you know what time it is? It's 7 in the freaking morning!" Sora cried out, annoyed.
"You were never a morning person." Spike said softly. Sora's anger disappeared when she realized that he finally remembered her.
"What do you want, Spike?" She said softly.
"I would like to talk. Can you come over? I'm at the Watchers." Sora sat in silence contemplating on what to do.
"You there Sora?" he asked worried that she would refuse to see him. Calling wasn't even his idea in the first place.
"I have class."
"So don't go. Have the Slayer or the Witch take notes for you."
"I don't have the answers you want."
"Sora please! I was being…"
"An ass?" Sora said finishing his sentence.
"Actually, I was going to say stupid but an ass would work also."
"Fine. Seeing that you're probably not going anywhere, I'll come by after my classes which will be around two." Sora said.
"Thank you."
"Goodbye Spike."
"Goodbye Songbird." Sora hung up and buried her face in her pillows as tears of happiness and of pain fell from her eyes.
"So what are you going to say to him when you go over there?" Buffy asked as they walked across campus heading to the English class they had together.
"I don't know. I told him most of what I had to say last night and I'm sure Angel filled him in on whatever I left out." Sora said.
"Did you want me to go with you? For moral support and all that?"
"No. It'll be hard enough with Angel and Giles there."
"Just remember I'm here if you need some company." Buffy said. Sora smiled as they headed into the lecture hall classroom.
"I can't believe you watch this garbage." Angel groaned staring at the TV with distaste.
" Passions is the greatest show ever created." Spike said. "Now shut your hole. It's coming back on."
"Shouldn't you be trying to think of what to say to Sora when she gets here?" Giles suggested from the kitchen.
"What do you mean?" Spike asked pulling his eyes away from the TV at the mention of Sora.
"Well, what were you planning on saying to her?" Angel asked. "Because you nearly blew it yesterday."
"Both of you wankers think I'll mess this up, don't you?" Spike said defensively.
"We didn't say that." Angel protested.
"You didn't have to. I think after 146 years I would be able to read the expressions on your pitiful faces!"
"Spike, its just lately you haven't been saying the nicest of things." Giles said.
"To you and the rest of you worthless humans! But I love Sora so why would I go and purposely hurt her? I do think I can handle this but thank you for your concern." Spike spat out sarcastically. He turned back to the TV but not really watching.
Sora walked down the street. The sun shining at her back. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as the apartment came into view. She was nervous but did she really have a reason to be? They were just going to talk. Sort everything out. Sora reached out and knocked lightly at the door. Usually she would walk right in but today it didn't feel like she should. The door opened.
"Hello Sora."
"Hi Giles. Spike still here?" Sora asked.
"Yes. He's been waiting for you." Giles said letting Sora in. Spike stood as Sora walked into the room.
"Hey. You came." He said.
"I said I would." She replied. Angel and Giles left the room in order to give the two some privacy.
"I'm sorry, Sora. I reacted badly. All I expected was you saying something like you were running away from your feelings or something. To think of my memories from my human life hurts like you can't imagine."
"You make it sound like you're the only one suffering, Spike! You think I enjoy it when these memories come flooding into my mind? Remembering how I hurt you? How I hurt myself? And then realize I'm doing it all over again in this life?" Sora cried out.
"I didn't realize."
"No, you didn't. You're not the only one confused! I feel so lost. How do I not make the same mistakes? How do I not hurt you or myself? I'm so tired of hurting." Sora said as tears slipped gently down her flushed cheeks. She was venting and boy did it feel good!
"We work through this together, pet. Then we won't hurt anymore. It's different this time. I love you and you finally admitted out loud that you love me." Spike said gently.
"How can you love me after the pain I out you through? I was so cold, Spike." Sora said.
"Just like you love me even though I am a demon. We look past it and just let ourselves." Spike said sweeping her into his arms. She looked up at him and he captured her lips in a heated but gentle kiss. Sora was the one who broke the kiss due to her need to breathe. She rested her cheek against his black tee shirt as he wrapped his arms tighter around her standing in the middle of the room.
"I love you, Spike."
"I love you too, my Songbird." Spike whispered, burying his face in her hair.
Sora shut the door to her dorm room behind her. Thankful that she didn't have a roommate, she collapsed on her bed as the tears she had been trying to hold in broke through, and her heart collapsed in pain. Did he realize who she was? Had she hurt him so much that he had completely wiped her away form his memory? It had felt right, saying that she loved him. But she was still also lost in the pain she had caused herself and had caused Spike. Sora drifted off into an uneasy sleep as the night sky just began to lighten with the approaching dawn.
Spike slumped down against the wall, lowering himself to the ground. The memories that he had been fighting to forget broke through. Her face invaded his mind. The same face that had been looking up at him only minutes before. How was this possible? She was dead. Or at least she was supposed to be. She wasn't a demon. He would be able to sense that. Spike lit up a cigarette and leaned his head against the cold cement wall. He remembered when he first saw her. For him, it was love at first sight. It was at a dinner party at her father's house. He had come in late and found her in the parlor surrounded by all the other dinner guests, entertaining them by playing the harpsichord. He stood frozen in the entranceway, captivated be her music, her grace, her beauty. As she ended the song, her eyes met his and she gave him a blushing smile.
Spike shook his head as he rubbed the cigarette out. He stood up suddenly, realizing that this was his second chance. To have the girl who he had truly loved. To have his Music Goddess, who would never hurt him again. But loved him with all her soul and heart. Whom he loved with all his being. Grabbing his duster, he quickly ran through the streets of Sunnydale, making it to Giles' just before the sun broke through the horizon.
"Where is she?" Spike asked seeing only Angel in the room.
"What do you mean? Isn't she with you?" Angel asked standing up.
"She left. I thought she would have come here. She was upset." Spike said moving into the room. Angel shook his head and sat back down.
"No. She probably went back to the dorms. So now you know?"
"I'm a moron!" Spike growled sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room. "I mean, out of both of us, you would think that I would have seen it! She looks almost the bloody same."
"It's her hair that's different." Angel said quietly.
"Yeah. It's darker. Suits her better, though." Spike said.
"She loves you, you know." Angel said.
"So she told me." Spike said staring down at his hands.
"You should believe her. It took her a long time to admit that out loud." Angel explained.
"I do believe her. It's just bloody impossible that she's here! She died! That bastard killed her! I knew she shouldn't have married him." Spike said.
"We all knew that she shouldn't marry him. She was just too stubborn to listen to our warnings." Angel replied.
"So how is it that she's here, Peaches?" Spike asked looking up at his grandsire. He hated sitting there and actually talking to him but a small part of him enjoyed it. It felt good to let himself remember.
"She was reincarnated. She said that she had dreams, which she realized were memories. She did some type of spell which, what Rupert and I guess, reunited her two lives." Angel explained.
"She didn't tell me any of this." Spike said.
"Well did you let her? Or did you make it even harder for her by denying it?" Angel asked accusingly knowing that Spike most likely reacted not too well.
"Even worse. Along with the denial I bloody went and told her to get out. I screwed up." Spike said running a hand over his face.
"Yeah you did. Now what are you planning to do now before you lose her again?" Angel asked.
"I don't know! Like I said, I screwed up! I know that. But it's not like I go apologizing. I may have this chip in my head but I haven't gone all soft or anything." Spike cried out pacing the length of the room.
"Want to know what I think?" Angel said.
"Not really but I know you'll tell me anyway."
"You need to talk to her. You need to listen and not be the arrogant ass that you are. Then you need to tell her how you feel." Angel said.
"Easier said then done." Spike mumbled sitting back down.
"Why don't you call her and ask her to come here." Angel suggested.
"Oh yeah. Like she's just going to come running over here after what I said." Spike said rolling his eyes.
"It's worth a shot." Angel said. Spike shrugged and stood going over to the phone. Dialing her dorm number, he let it ring several times until he finally heard it pick up.
Sora groaned into the pillow as she heard the phone start ringing. Looking over at the clock, she saw it was only 7 am. She still had a few hours until her first class started. Sora reached over and picked up the phone.
"What do you want?" Sora said in a grumpy and hoarse voice.
"Sora?" a British voice said from the other end of the line.
"Spike? Do you know what time it is? It's 7 in the freaking morning!" Sora cried out, annoyed.
"You were never a morning person." Spike said softly. Sora's anger disappeared when she realized that he finally remembered her.
"What do you want, Spike?" She said softly.
"I would like to talk. Can you come over? I'm at the Watchers." Sora sat in silence contemplating on what to do.
"You there Sora?" he asked worried that she would refuse to see him. Calling wasn't even his idea in the first place.
"I have class."
"So don't go. Have the Slayer or the Witch take notes for you."
"I don't have the answers you want."
"Sora please! I was being…"
"An ass?" Sora said finishing his sentence.
"Actually, I was going to say stupid but an ass would work also."
"Fine. Seeing that you're probably not going anywhere, I'll come by after my classes which will be around two." Sora said.
"Thank you."
"Goodbye Spike."
"Goodbye Songbird." Sora hung up and buried her face in her pillows as tears of happiness and of pain fell from her eyes.
"So what are you going to say to him when you go over there?" Buffy asked as they walked across campus heading to the English class they had together.
"I don't know. I told him most of what I had to say last night and I'm sure Angel filled him in on whatever I left out." Sora said.
"Did you want me to go with you? For moral support and all that?"
"No. It'll be hard enough with Angel and Giles there."
"Just remember I'm here if you need some company." Buffy said. Sora smiled as they headed into the lecture hall classroom.
"I can't believe you watch this garbage." Angel groaned staring at the TV with distaste.
" Passions is the greatest show ever created." Spike said. "Now shut your hole. It's coming back on."
"Shouldn't you be trying to think of what to say to Sora when she gets here?" Giles suggested from the kitchen.
"What do you mean?" Spike asked pulling his eyes away from the TV at the mention of Sora.
"Well, what were you planning on saying to her?" Angel asked. "Because you nearly blew it yesterday."
"Both of you wankers think I'll mess this up, don't you?" Spike said defensively.
"We didn't say that." Angel protested.
"You didn't have to. I think after 146 years I would be able to read the expressions on your pitiful faces!"
"Spike, its just lately you haven't been saying the nicest of things." Giles said.
"To you and the rest of you worthless humans! But I love Sora so why would I go and purposely hurt her? I do think I can handle this but thank you for your concern." Spike spat out sarcastically. He turned back to the TV but not really watching.
Sora walked down the street. The sun shining at her back. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as the apartment came into view. She was nervous but did she really have a reason to be? They were just going to talk. Sort everything out. Sora reached out and knocked lightly at the door. Usually she would walk right in but today it didn't feel like she should. The door opened.
"Hello Sora."
"Hi Giles. Spike still here?" Sora asked.
"Yes. He's been waiting for you." Giles said letting Sora in. Spike stood as Sora walked into the room.
"Hey. You came." He said.
"I said I would." She replied. Angel and Giles left the room in order to give the two some privacy.
"I'm sorry, Sora. I reacted badly. All I expected was you saying something like you were running away from your feelings or something. To think of my memories from my human life hurts like you can't imagine."
"You make it sound like you're the only one suffering, Spike! You think I enjoy it when these memories come flooding into my mind? Remembering how I hurt you? How I hurt myself? And then realize I'm doing it all over again in this life?" Sora cried out.
"I didn't realize."
"No, you didn't. You're not the only one confused! I feel so lost. How do I not make the same mistakes? How do I not hurt you or myself? I'm so tired of hurting." Sora said as tears slipped gently down her flushed cheeks. She was venting and boy did it feel good!
"We work through this together, pet. Then we won't hurt anymore. It's different this time. I love you and you finally admitted out loud that you love me." Spike said gently.
"How can you love me after the pain I out you through? I was so cold, Spike." Sora said.
"Just like you love me even though I am a demon. We look past it and just let ourselves." Spike said sweeping her into his arms. She looked up at him and he captured her lips in a heated but gentle kiss. Sora was the one who broke the kiss due to her need to breathe. She rested her cheek against his black tee shirt as he wrapped his arms tighter around her standing in the middle of the room.
"I love you, Spike."
"I love you too, my Songbird." Spike whispered, burying his face in her hair.