Onna: Standard disclaimers apply! Hee hee! Outtakes time, minna-san! If you're new, read Natsu no E and Kokoro no Shouka to be able to get it.
Kenshin: Oroooooooo.....
Kaoru: This isn't happening....
*********
Onna (I'm the author! Of course I get to be director!): All right, people! I got your scripts right here!
Kenshin: Oro... Sessha wa shinga de gozaru ka?!
Onna: Yes, you're a singer!
Kaoru: *big grin* I get to spend more time with Kenshin!
Megumi: Onna! Did you have to portray me as a witch?!
Onna: Cripes! Check out your script for chapter 7! You get to redeem yourself!
Megumi: Oh.
Yahiko: You waited till it was chapter 12 before you introduced me?!
Onna: Shut up, Yahiko-chan.
Yahiko: CHAN JA NE YO!
Tsubame: Yahiko-kun...
Hiko: I'm baka deshi's agent?!
Onna: Stop complaining for goodness sake! Who's the author here?! You or me?!
RK people: ...........
Saitou: Why didn't you cast me in this fic, ahou?! *prepares to Gatotsu Onna*
Onna: Because if I do, you'll be terribly out of character! Now get that blade away from my face before I get Kanashimi-san over here!
Saitou: You mean...?!
Onna: *nods* The Narrator's little sister. The one who calls you 'Pookie'.
Saitou: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo...! Did you have to say that?!
Onna: Told ya you'll end up being OOC.
Sano: *falls over laughing so hard*
Everyone else: *look like lightning has struck them*
Scene 1: Playground (Before filming)
Onna: All right! Kenji and Kiriko, front and center.
Kiriko: But I have Daddy's eyes! I can't play Mommy, she has blue eyes!
Kenji: She's right!
Onna: What are colored contact lenses here for?! Now get going!
Kenji: &#^%*@^*#%!!!
Kaoru: *mouth drops open*
Kenshin: Oro?!
Onna: SANO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SAYING IN FRONT OF HIM?!!!!!
Scene 1: Playground. Take 1.
Ayako: Shinta! Shinta! It's time to go home!
Kenji (as little Shinta): Hai, Okaachan! *jumps off the swing and falls face first on the ground* ITAI!!!!! ^$@*$^%*@!!!
Kenshin and Kaoru: Kenji-chan!!!
Onna: CUT! You were supposed to land feet first, not head first!!!
Hiko: Baka kodomo...
Kenji: OI!!! Shut up, you son of a &%#$!!!
Hiko: o.O
Onna: ARRRRRRGH!!! SANO!!!!!!!
Kaoru: That kid needs his mouth washed with soap...
Scene 1: Playground. Take 2.
Kiriko (as Chibi-Kaoru): *runs and falls over sand box* WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Kenji: *runs over* Daijoubu kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! *also trips and steps on Kiriko's hand*
Kiriko: ITAI!!!! BAKA ONIICHAN!!!!
Kenji: WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT, KID?!
Kiriko: ONIICHAN NO BAKA!!! *cloud of dust starts*
Onna: For heaven's sakes! CUT!
Scene 1: Playground. Take 3.
Kiriko: *trips and falls over* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Kenji: Daijoubu ka?
Kiriko: H-Hai... *wipes eyes then looks at hand* AAAUGH!!!
Onna: Cut! Kiriko! Your wound is on the knee, not the hand!
Kiriko: It's not that!
Onna: What then!?
Kiriko: The contact lens fell out... and it's cracked...
Onna: Those things cost a bloody $10!!! Why me...?
Scene 2: Kenshin's trailer. Take 1.
Kenshin: I will return to my trailer to rest. *runs towards trailer and slams door shut*
Sano: *plastered against the trailer, face kissing the door* OOF!!!
Kenshin: Oro? Where's Sano?
Onna: CUT!!!
Scene 2: Kenshin's trailer. Take 2.
Kenshin and Sano: *run towards trailer*
Sano: *overtakes Kenshin and slams door shut*
Kenshin: *hits trailer with a loud sound* OROROROROROROooooooooo.....
Sano: Heh heh... payback!
Onna: Cut!!! Sano, he's supposed to get in the trailer before you do! Dolt!
Scene 2: Kenshin's trailer. Take 3.
Kenshin: *waits till Sano gets inside*
Sano: *slams door shut*
Trailer: *shakes then crumbles to pieces*
Sano: Oops...
Onna: CUT! SANO, YOU BIG JERK! THAT SET COST ME $4,500!!!!!!!!!
Sano: I'm gone...
Kenshin: Oro...
Scene 2: Kenshin's trailer. Take 4 (Oh please let them do it right this time...)
Kenshin: *waits till Sano gets inside before closing the door and sighs in relief*
Sano: So, now that we're alone, let's say we... *whisper*
Kenshin: Oro?! Sano you idiot!!! I LIKE WOMEN!!!!
Onna: CUT!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THIS IS A KENSHIN AND KAORU FIC! NOT A SANO AND KENSHIN FIC, STUPID ROOSTER!!!
Kaoru and Megumi: *glower at Sano*
Kaoru: Can we kill him?
Onna: Be my guest. If anyone needs me I'll be in the cafeteria kicking a vending machine! *leaves while Sano runs, chased by a rabid raccoon and a fuming fox*
*********
Onna: The first of the outtakes! Funny enough? Some people say I'm corny so I'm kinda twiddling my thumbs here in fear...
Kenshin: Oro..... That was insane...
