Disclaimer—I don't own DB/Z/GT.

A/N—Wow, what do ya know, I actually got this chapter out!  I think they will be coming a little more quickly now—I had problems with the Android Saga, but now that we are well into Cell, I know exactly where I'm going.  Watch out for frequent updating! 

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Gohan walked into the now vacant room behind his father, and as he was struck by the vast emptiness of it, he knew that the task before him would be harder than he had thought.

The brand new Saiyan body armor that Bulma had made them all had dredged up more than a few bad memories for Gohan.  It went tumbling to the floor as he placed the feeling of unease that the horrible whiteness caused.

It was his first.  There are many firsts in life, that people keep track of—first loves, first dances, first kisses—the first that Son Gohan was now recalling, however, was not one of these warmly cherished firsts that are held close to the heart for bleak future days.  The vast empty whiteness of this place reminded Gohan of a first that he would gladly forget—the first time he purged a planet.

The sky had been white.  Perhaps that's what brought forth the memory.  Perhaps it was the silence.  It had been silent after he had finished—the flames licking at the sky had made no sound—he'd been too far away to hear their roar.  Even had he been close enough to hear, Gohan doubted he would have—all he remembered of that day was the white of sky, and the sound of his heart pounding wildly in his ears *THA-THUMP, THA-THUMP, THA-THUMP.*

Gohan took a shaky breath and stooped to pick up the uniform that had fallen to his feet.  Turning, he saw his father looking at him quizzically, and gave him a shaky smile of reassurance.

Gohan distractedly removed the top of his gi, and sat down on one of the beds to remove his boots.

Goku studied his son as he sat to put on his new armor.  When they had entered the room, a flash of remembrance had passed over his face, and for just a second, those eyes had been shadowed with unfathomable grief.

Goku watched Gohan pull off his gi, and was surprised by the preponderance of scars that were etched onto the boy's young body.  Saiyans did not scar easily—for a Saiyan to scar, the injury had to be nearly life threatening.  There were literally dozens of scars covering Gohan's chest and arms, and when the boy bent over to unfasten his boots, Goku saw clear signs of beatings, criss-crossing his back.

Goku felt his stomach clench for his son.  After that first day, when he had revealed his past, Gohan had never said much more.  A few times, always after some severe flashback, he had let slip a few details, but Goku could always see how he regretted those slips.

Studying Gohan's solemn demeanor, Goku decided to try a little probe into his past.  Goku was no fool.  Gohan's inability to control Super Saiyan was not physical. 

The first time someone turned Super Saiyan, there was always a struggle against the rage, but it should have been no problem for Gohan to learn to control.  Gohan's problem was, that he had fought Super Saiyan all the way, and when it had finally been achieved, he had not wanted control.  Control would only have meant that the collared-Gohan would have had to consciously murder.  Gohan was still fighting Frieza—he just didn't know it.

Goku cleared his throat, "Gohan."

Gohan looked up, startled.  He had been lost in his thoughts—in memories of a cold white sky, filled with smoke, and the screaming whine of his newly acquired power rushing through his veins.  "Huh?"

Goku chose carefully—the lashes covering Gohan's back were obviously not the appropriate topic to begin with—besides, they were too obvious.  Goku walked over to his son, and sat down on the bed beside him.  He pointed to a long gash running the length of Gohan's collar bone.  "Where'd you get this one, Gohan?"

Gohan was momentarily confused.  His father had never pried into his past before.  Looking up into Goku's serious eyes, Gohan realized that perhaps this was more than simple prying.  Goku looked intent, yet understanding.  For some reason, Gohan felt himself wanting to open up—after all, that scar had an interesting history to it.  Gohan smiled a bit.  "Actually," he said, reaching up to itch the scar in a nervous gesture, "that one was an accident.  Well, as much of an accident as it could be I suppose."

Goku raised a questioning brow, and nodded for Gohan to continue, setting back a bit on the bed, to listen to the story.

Gohan grinned, "It was right after I learned how to fly.  I had been caught and returned to the ship, and the guards brought me straight to Frieza.  They made the mistake of letting me go, however, and I used my new skills, and flew up near the ceiling." 

Goku laughed a little, "Guards weren't too smart."

Gohan smiled and shook his head, "No.  They weren't.  Anyway, none of them could fly, so eventually, they resorted to trying to shoot me down.  I dodged for a bit, but eventually I was hit.  I fell right out of the air, and onto Frieza's head.  He was in his transformation with those horrible horns, and it just sliced my shoulder right open.  I was in a lot of pain at the time, and I had somehow managed to kick Frieza in the head when I fell on him, and gave him a bloody nose."  Gohan's grin faded a bit, "That's how I got this one," he said, pointing to a large circular gouge in his rib cage.  "I don't think Frieza liked that I could give him a bloody nose, even by accident."


Goku grimaced a bit at the severity of the second scar—he was quite sure that there was a matching scar on Gohan's back where Frieza's horn had broken through the other side.

Gohan, however, was smiling again, and pointed out another scar, telling a rather funny story of a six year old Gohan trying to hijack a Ginyu Force space pod.

After a few more stories, Gohan fell silent, and Goku took up the thread of conversation, pointing to a jagged scar that ran across Gohan's left shoulder, "What about this one?" he asked.

Goku realized he'd made a mistake when Gohan's liveliness died, and he paled rapidly.  In almost a whisper, he answered, "That—that one was given to me by a strong warrior.  A very strong warrior.  He was…his planet's defender."  Gohan rubbed absently at the cut as if to rub it away, "He gave it to me right before I killed him."  Gohan looked into his father's eyes, "Right before I killed them all.  Everyone on his planet."

Gohan felt his organs quiver in remembrance.  The man—he had been so brave.  Gohan had fought him as a Super Saiyan—it had been the third time he had changed—Gohan remembered each time he had changed for Frieza—he might not remember each face, but every planet, every race, was imprinted on his memory.  Twenty-three in all, in the period of the two years he had been a Super Saiyan under Frieza. 

Luckily, Frieza had been injured (by Goku, Gohan had later learned) and the purgings had slowed, while Frieza was rebuilt.  Then had come the return to Earth, and Frieza's destruction…

Goku sat silent as Gohan shook his head and pulled on his new Saiyan body suit, hiding his physical scars, almost as well as the smile plastered to his face covered the mental ones.

Goku walked slowly over to where he had left his own armor, and began to pull it on.  They had work to do—Goku only wished that Bulma's new armor could protect his son from the battles he saw in their future. 

Goku knew that some wounds couldn't be prevented.  He only hoped that he was a skilled enough surgeon to operate when those wounds were inevitably revealed.  It was easier by far to fix a broken rib than a broken heart.

***More of Gohan's past is revealed.  ::Bashes Frieza over the head with a frying pan::  BAD FRIEZA!  R&R Please!***

*ADVERTIZING*-- Go read Mala in Se by Daughter of Chaos.  It's a great fic, and it's not getting NEARLY the reviews it deserves—funny, suspenseful, VERY well written, and best of all, UPDATED FREQUENTLY!  It's a Gohan/Videl, and the Great Saiyaman is accused of MURDER!  It's highly original, and I just HAVE to recommend it to you!