I Won't Go
By Talking Hawk
Author's Note: The song in this fanfic is marked by brackets, and is a slightly altered version of "Here With Me" by Dido. I obviously didn't just make it up… Also, just so you know, Sam's not schizophrenic; he just talks to himself.
[I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here]
I sat quietly on the bank of the river, arms hanging over my knees as I watched the disappearing boat with Mr. Frodo in it. My heart ached, and tears flowed freely down my face. When I had happened upon him rowing away across the stream, I cried out for him to stop, but he refused to look back. He was going to Mordor alone.
[And I don't want to take in a thing
For it might change my memory]
I stared out over the water's surface, trying to absorb as much of the sight of Frodo as the Gods would permit me. My mind reassured me, 'Oh, he'll come back,' but my heart knew the truth. I would never see my dear friend again. And yet another part of me tried to turn my eyes away from the hobbit. If my last remaining memory of Mr. Frodo were of him abandoning me, surely my memory of him would be tainted. But I didn't want that, but I didn't want to turn away either. If I were with him, I would never turn away.
[Oh, I am what I am
I do what I want]
My eyes drooped sadly from the sight of my friend going into evil's arms alone. 'Why would he want you along?' I thought to myself. 'I would only get in the way, because I'm always doing stupid things,' I scolded myself. I recalled the battle in the Mines of Moria with the goblins and the cave troll. If I hadn't been so intent on whacking goblins with my cooking utensils, I argued, I would have been doing what I was supposed to be doing – protecting the ring-bearer, Frodo. The other part of my mind argued, You do what you want, but Frodo knows you have the right intentions. Yeah? the opposing side countered, Frodo would willingly leave behind friends with "good intentions."
[But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
Until you're sitting here with me]
Legolas appeared out of the forest, an absorbed look on his face. When he saw Mr. Frodo in the boat, his eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. He looked from me, sitting on the banks, to Frodo, and asked, "What is he doing?"
"He's going to Mordor alone," I said, and burst into tears once more. Legolas' eyes grew sad, then he kneeled next to me, rubbing my back with his friend. "I'm so sorry, Sam…" he said soothingly, trying to think of something more comforting to say. "But we can still catch up with him." I looked up slowly at him with my weepy eyes.
"I'm afraid that's not an option," a voice said from behind us. It was Strider, carrying a body – Boromir's. As I turned around, my eyes grew alarmingly wide. "Boromir…" I whispered. Aragorn took in a sigh, and set the corpse down next to a tree. Gimli appeared out of the woods behind the former ranger.
"After giving Boromir his last rights, we must track down Pippin and Merry," Aragorn said, putting the other man's shield and sword into one of the two remaining boats. My eyebrow lifted in question, and Legolas said carefully, "They were kidnapped by the orks." I looked at the elf, and my mouth shuddered as I began to sob again. It was as if I was in a separate universe – everything was lost.
After a half an hour went by in silence, Aragorn pushed the boat carrying Boromir's body into the river. It flowed slowly with the current, then disappeared dramatically over the waterfall's edge. We all stood respectfully, but then I turned to the remaining human. "I can't go," I said slowly, looking down at the pebbles beneath my bare feet. "I must follow Frodo."
Aragorn held out his arm across the bank and asked in a frustrated tone, "How do you think you'll catch up with him? He's on the other side of the bank, Samwise. No, you will be much safer with us." My eyes widened in astonishment. "I have to protect him! He'll get hurt out there all by himself." "He can take care of himself," the human reassured, but I know that he wasn't really sure himself. "We will rest here for the night, and then first thing we'll track down the orks," he told me and the other two remaining members of the Fellowship. I narrowed my eyes, but didn't utter a word.
[I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're sitting here with me]
Once the hungry warriors had gobbled down the dinner I had prepared for them with a glare in my eyes, they retired to bed. I returned to my seat on the banks of the river, gazing at the empty white boat on the opposite side. Oh why, oh why did Mr. Frodo have to leave without me?
[I don't want to call my friends, for they might wake me up from this dream. And I can't leave this bank. I would risk forgetting all that's been.] My eyes were covered from seeing a solution; my only option seemed to be to leave with Aragorn and the others, and take the chance of never seeing Mr. Frodo again. I tried to figure out what to do.
'What do you want?' I asked myself. 'To be with Frodo,' I replied. 'Then do it.' I stared out quietly across the moonlit river once more, and a ghost of a smile returned to my lips. Yes.
I rose to my feet, and approached the last of the boats from Lothlorien. With a determined smile, I rose up its end and pushed it across the pebbles as quietly as I could. I lifted myself over the side, took a seat at its back, and brandished a paddle once the boat splashed into the cool water.
"I'm coming, Mr. Frodo," I whispered, eyes set upon the Eastern shore.
[Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
Until you're sitting here with me.]
By Talking Hawk
Author's Note: The song in this fanfic is marked by brackets, and is a slightly altered version of "Here With Me" by Dido. I obviously didn't just make it up… Also, just so you know, Sam's not schizophrenic; he just talks to himself.
[I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here]
I sat quietly on the bank of the river, arms hanging over my knees as I watched the disappearing boat with Mr. Frodo in it. My heart ached, and tears flowed freely down my face. When I had happened upon him rowing away across the stream, I cried out for him to stop, but he refused to look back. He was going to Mordor alone.
[And I don't want to take in a thing
For it might change my memory]
I stared out over the water's surface, trying to absorb as much of the sight of Frodo as the Gods would permit me. My mind reassured me, 'Oh, he'll come back,' but my heart knew the truth. I would never see my dear friend again. And yet another part of me tried to turn my eyes away from the hobbit. If my last remaining memory of Mr. Frodo were of him abandoning me, surely my memory of him would be tainted. But I didn't want that, but I didn't want to turn away either. If I were with him, I would never turn away.
[Oh, I am what I am
I do what I want]
My eyes drooped sadly from the sight of my friend going into evil's arms alone. 'Why would he want you along?' I thought to myself. 'I would only get in the way, because I'm always doing stupid things,' I scolded myself. I recalled the battle in the Mines of Moria with the goblins and the cave troll. If I hadn't been so intent on whacking goblins with my cooking utensils, I argued, I would have been doing what I was supposed to be doing – protecting the ring-bearer, Frodo. The other part of my mind argued, You do what you want, but Frodo knows you have the right intentions. Yeah? the opposing side countered, Frodo would willingly leave behind friends with "good intentions."
[But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
Until you're sitting here with me]
Legolas appeared out of the forest, an absorbed look on his face. When he saw Mr. Frodo in the boat, his eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. He looked from me, sitting on the banks, to Frodo, and asked, "What is he doing?"
"He's going to Mordor alone," I said, and burst into tears once more. Legolas' eyes grew sad, then he kneeled next to me, rubbing my back with his friend. "I'm so sorry, Sam…" he said soothingly, trying to think of something more comforting to say. "But we can still catch up with him." I looked up slowly at him with my weepy eyes.
"I'm afraid that's not an option," a voice said from behind us. It was Strider, carrying a body – Boromir's. As I turned around, my eyes grew alarmingly wide. "Boromir…" I whispered. Aragorn took in a sigh, and set the corpse down next to a tree. Gimli appeared out of the woods behind the former ranger.
"After giving Boromir his last rights, we must track down Pippin and Merry," Aragorn said, putting the other man's shield and sword into one of the two remaining boats. My eyebrow lifted in question, and Legolas said carefully, "They were kidnapped by the orks." I looked at the elf, and my mouth shuddered as I began to sob again. It was as if I was in a separate universe – everything was lost.
After a half an hour went by in silence, Aragorn pushed the boat carrying Boromir's body into the river. It flowed slowly with the current, then disappeared dramatically over the waterfall's edge. We all stood respectfully, but then I turned to the remaining human. "I can't go," I said slowly, looking down at the pebbles beneath my bare feet. "I must follow Frodo."
Aragorn held out his arm across the bank and asked in a frustrated tone, "How do you think you'll catch up with him? He's on the other side of the bank, Samwise. No, you will be much safer with us." My eyes widened in astonishment. "I have to protect him! He'll get hurt out there all by himself." "He can take care of himself," the human reassured, but I know that he wasn't really sure himself. "We will rest here for the night, and then first thing we'll track down the orks," he told me and the other two remaining members of the Fellowship. I narrowed my eyes, but didn't utter a word.
[I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're sitting here with me]
Once the hungry warriors had gobbled down the dinner I had prepared for them with a glare in my eyes, they retired to bed. I returned to my seat on the banks of the river, gazing at the empty white boat on the opposite side. Oh why, oh why did Mr. Frodo have to leave without me?
[I don't want to call my friends, for they might wake me up from this dream. And I can't leave this bank. I would risk forgetting all that's been.] My eyes were covered from seeing a solution; my only option seemed to be to leave with Aragorn and the others, and take the chance of never seeing Mr. Frodo again. I tried to figure out what to do.
'What do you want?' I asked myself. 'To be with Frodo,' I replied. 'Then do it.' I stared out quietly across the moonlit river once more, and a ghost of a smile returned to my lips. Yes.
I rose to my feet, and approached the last of the boats from Lothlorien. With a determined smile, I rose up its end and pushed it across the pebbles as quietly as I could. I lifted myself over the side, took a seat at its back, and brandished a paddle once the boat splashed into the cool water.
"I'm coming, Mr. Frodo," I whispered, eyes set upon the Eastern shore.
[Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
Until you're sitting here with me.]