You only see what your eyes want to
see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you
get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open
If I could melt your heart
We'd never be apart
Give yourself to me
You hold the key
Now there's no point in placing the
blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
You only see what your eyes want to
see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
~If I could melt your heart~
Madonna, Frozen (Adapted and used without permission)
~Mikagami~
The skies are gray, the moonlight casting the street into shades of pearly grey. The wind caresses my face, sending the curtains fluttering. The bleak irony of this beautiful night, the startling contrasts between the sides of the window. The fragile peace in this could be shattered so easily. I keep my breath shallow and bated, lest I be the one to break. I lift my hands to smooth down my ruffled bangs, the motion controlled and precise, wasting no energy, no useless movement.
What is this funny emotion inside of me? I must be diseased by those monkeys, becoming softhearted and compassionate. But yet... this unfamiliar feeling welling up inside me, making me hard for me to swallow. She looks so vulnerable. She look so pale and broken, so unlike her vibrant self. The body lying on the bed has no spirit; she is animated and full of life. How can something so dead be her?
Koganei is still crying. From silent tears that gradually built up to a virtual storm. He is going to be seriously dehydrated if he keeps this up. I didn't know his bond with Fuuko ran this deep. But I guess when you are an orphan, friendship is especially important, as I should know. Don't I? He might even be feeling the same way I did when neechan died. But of course, once again, he is luckier than me, Fuuko isn't dead yet, he still has a chance. So much talent for fighting, such a pity it is almost a wasted trait. He is so similar to Fuuko, also hiding behind a veneer of cheerfulness, normal teenagers if not for their madougous. Koganei Kaoru. The golden boy, tarnished somehow, with a personality and secrets like a bottomless lake. I rub the bridge of my nose. How hypocritical of me. My secrets are deeper, murkier and my hands are more bloodstained than his ever will be.
Yanagi-chan is sleeping in Recca arms. Tear streaks on her still face visible even in this dim light. She was innocent but both cursed and gifted with healing abilities. Her abilities brought as together, but because of her abilities she lost much, suffered at the hands of despicable villains. Once Yanagi-chan had the chance of being normal, but now… now she is so deeply embroiled in this fiasco that she can never escaped. None of us could have a normal life anymore. UBS III, SODOM, the impact on our lives, the aftermath. Together our age barely adds up to a centaury, but what we have seen what we experienced was beyond comprehending for other normally teenagers.
Recca Hanabishi, Flame master. He was the start and the at centre of this madness. I wonder do he blame himself now that his childhood friend is lying on the bed half dead? I guess all of us blame ourselves to a certain extent. For we all are humans with emotions. I... I most of all. I should have known. I shifted to hide myself behind the billowing curtain. I should have taken the precaution, especially when the fact that Fuuko can not only control a high level madougou but actually merge with many other madougous in extreme times of crisis leak out. We should have protected her, should never have leave her alone, should never have let her leave alone.
Suddenly I have an insane and illogical urge to shout out at Domon. The gorilla that is hiding from reality in the little world of his. Huddling in the corner, perhaps thinking this is a bad dream that he will wake up from and laugh about tomorrow. He promised that he will take care of Fuuko and had fail terribly. What is the use of big words that you can't carry out? He broke his promise. I want to hurt him hurt him badly. What do he think he can achieving huddling in the corner? If Fuuko wakes up she will need us to help her recuperate, to give her all the emotional and physical support she need. She will wake up knowing that she lost a fight, and being the idiot she is, she is going to be extremely upset, as she had not lost a fight for quite awhile now. Maybe my ideology is wrong but since he pledge his life to her, he must protect her at all cost, even at the price of his life! If he can't than don't make empty promises! There are many people who can take care of her!
//Like you// a small voice inside of him whispered to him seductively, //You will take care of her, treat her like a lady even when she isn't…//
I pressed myself against the cold glass, letting it sooth my racing thoughts. But what do I have to offer her? Touch her with my bloodstain hands? Offer her the life as the companion to one who has lost everything? She might be the one for me but am I the one for her? I have only just barely started to live again. What do I have to offer to one like her? It hurts. So badly. Oh God, the pain. I closed my eyes and letting the memories rush over me.
During UBS, she was the one who woke me up to my senses, teased and taunted me, treated me like a normal friend. Even after UBS, back in school she was the only one to seek me out, to chat, and to act as her punching bag. The monkey, didn't she know how easily I could have kill her? One slip of the hand… So fragile is the skin. One slice and it is over. My hand crept over my chest to the pendants. Both from someone dear. One of silver metal, my security blanket for eight years, a family heirloom that Mifuyu given me the day before she passed away. The other of transparent glass, with the Hokage emblem etched in, with me for only a year but dear all the same.
" Oie! Mi-chan!! Happy Birthday!"
" My birthday was yesterday, monkey."
" ……… Well we couldn't find you yesterday. By the way, where did you went? Yanagi-chan was so upset, she baked a cake for you!"
" I went to visit neechan."
" Really? Now look here this is for you! Cost a bomb I might say. Now we all have a set, Recca and his hime the matching rings, Domon and Ganko the bracelets, I have the earrings and Koganei and you have the pendants!"
" …… "
"………"
"Monkey… even if I want to be part of Hokage, I don't have to declared my identity by wearing this."
"… Just wear it will you!!!! I paid good money for it!!"
Fuuko… she swept into my life my life fast and furiously, like a breath of fresh air. I wonder if she is going to leave the same way, fast, furious and without warning at all. My fist clench tighter on the glass. Not fair. This is not fair. Why? Why is everyone taken away from me? I'm I cursed or something? Must everyone I cared for died? First Okaa-san, Oto-san then neechan. Is my life a joke to the Gods above? Are you laughing up there now that we are suffering down here? To tempt me once again, only to tell me when I reach for it that it is not for me? Why? This hurt, this pain inside of me… who is going to be there for me when the darkness fall? Why, to quote a famous singer, does it always rain on me?
Why? Why are you doing this to me? Now that I'm starting to trust again? Now that I have found a new meaning in life? Are you going to take away my reason for living? Who is going to dry my tears now? To pull my hair and give me the special hug? To be caught up in this sorrow, to feel like I lost my soul. Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight? Why now? Now that I have manage to find someone to replace neechan? Only to have to watch her die on me again? I trained for eights years so I can be strong to protect the one I care for, the one I love. What I'm I going to do, now that there is no one left for me to care and protect?
The agony inside of me, it is cutting me up bit by bit. I feel like I'm reliving my worst nightmare. The waiting. Oh Gods the waiting. To wait and wait only to have the world collapse on you. Don't let her die. Just one more day. One more day and she will be out of danger. 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 66400 seconds. She cannot die. What is Hokage without her? She is not going to die. I turn away form the rest of the occupants of the room, one hand clenched on the window, the other clutching the glass pendant like a lifeline. And …… unnoticed, a solitary tear escaped and trail down my cheek, it's path silvery in the moonlight unseen but deeply felt.
TBC…
:: Author Notes :: Terribly sorry to the people who were offended when I said it will be fun to write rape. What I meant was there will be more emotion overflow so it will make it more interesting and have more drama. Gomen nasi once again. Due to popular demand, it shall be assault, with Fuuko/Mikagami/Raiha triangle with a bit of Domon. Raiha is going to be making guest appearances soon but he is not part of main cast. Raiha appearances should be mainly from other people thinking about him. Wow, almost died writing Mikagami POV. I think I made him a bit OOC in this fic. Still looking for a beta-reader. Having lot of trouble with Domon POV. His brain doesn't work all the time and from the manga, lots of his thoughts were hentai and repeated. *Sigh* Cheers for people who like this fic, I tore a ligament and hence will be stuck home in front of the computer for two weeks, going out only to the hospital for therapy. I should be uploading more frequently and I need help once again. Should Fuuko die? Please R&R, flames are welcomed, I have a bag of marshmallow ready. Actually I'm more of a Raiha/Fuuko then Domon/Fuuko fan. Because, I catalogued all TokFuu appearances in the manga and came up to a grand total of 19+ in 30 comic books ( yeah I bought the whole series. I'm that crazy about FoR.) which makes me wonder why people were so supportive of TokFuu when DoFuu or RaiFuu is way more convincible.
Thank-q list (O.)
The Blue Sorceress: Wah!!! Thank que Thank que! Yeah I got lot of grammar problem, any body know how to improve grammar?
flutter~: Yeah I agreed. A crying Koganei is so sad isn't it?
Kari_n_Gatomon:???? Koganei crying beautiful??? Never mind. Your wish is granted TokFuu on the way…
rhea-chan: * Glomps * reviewer. Thank u for giving me such a long review! … correct me if I'm wrong but did you just seem happy that Fuuko is dying? (O.o) Wish is granted Fuutok on the way!
tenshi no ai *Bows* to the master.. thank que for review… Faints. I'm so happy you reviewed me!!! (_)Sorry about not making myself clear about the rape issues.
~*~ReccaGirl~*~ :Thank que! * Wipes tears * Now Chapter 2 is here!
Kate : (o_o) Chapter two her!! Now I'm really amazed by the number of TokFuu fans.
Fire Arrow : Yeah. Now I think assault is better. Suicidal Fuuko? Now where did that come form? * Looks over shoulder * oh you mean ice blue eyes and stoned phreak didn't you? Don't worried ! In this story Fuuko is going to be anything but suicidal!
Ops, forgot disclaimers. They don't belong to me, except plot. Frozen belongs to Madonna, used without permission. Storyline © to Sacharrine.