Dying Winds : Secret
~Yanagi~
What. what happening? Why do I feel so cold suddenly? Recca-kun? Where is he? Kaoru-chan, Kaoru. why is he crying? What is happening? Did Mori Kouran sent men here again? No that can't be, he is died, he died and Fuuko. Oh God Fuuko. My eyes swing automatically to the bed at the other end of the room. Fuuko. Even after healing she still look so terrible. But I can't heal her anymore, the doctors will be suspicious, we can go without the attention.
Recca-kun, Recca, why did he leave me here? I rub at my eyes, grimacing slightly as I brush off the crystallized tears. Fuuko. my first impression of her was a wild girl who fights like a man, who was the first person but not the last to ever strike me. She is so brave, that the thought that prevailed my mind whenever I see her, so strong, both physically and mentally. She is somebody I want to be like. Sometimes I'm so jealous of her, in so many and every little way. I'm so envious of her years of friendship with Recca, something that I will never have. Her bravery, her kindness, her fighting skills, her easy-going attitude. Sometimes when I stand next to her I feel so lacking. I wonder often why did they bother befriending me, risking their life for someone as worthless as myself, someone who can't even defend herself. And when I ask her, she says because I'm myself, that what that is important. She accepted my for what I'm without qualms, my first ever female friend. Someone like her is so rare, one in a million perhaps. My hands start to shake so I clench them into fists.
I feel so empty now, like I have cried everything out of me. Somehow I feel this is all my fault. I just can't help this feeling. I know all of us contributed to this mess somehow but I have always felt like I'm the catalyst that starts it all. If Recca have not chosen me as his Hime, maybe than all this wouldn't have happen. I feel so guilty, so guilty. I want to do something, anything to make it up to them, to her. She accepted me so readily even when she knew she could die. She puts me before herself. How can I ever forgive myself? Shaking. My hands kept shaking. Why are they shaking?
How long have we been friends? When did we cross the line between acquaintances to friends? A month? A year? From the day we meet each other? So memories, all blending together, no longer distinguishable when and where they happened. How many times have she fought to protect me? Once, twice or had she been fighting for me since the day she started fighting? To rescue me from Kurei's laboratories, to prevent me from being Mori Kouran prize in UBS, to rescue me yet again in SODOM, so many times, uncountable, every time she gives more of herself. I feel so angry sometimes. Why is she so stupid? Helping somebody like me. somebody who is no importance to her. somebody who came between her and Recca, one of her few true friends. somebody who can never pay her back. sometimes I feel like I really hate her. why is she so kind to me? Do she know how much it hurts me to see her like this? They fight to protect me, to protect the light in my eyes, they said. But do they know each time I see them fight, getting injured because of me, a part of me dies, that the light fades from my eyes? It makes me feel so useless and guilty. sometimes I want to scream at her to stop fighting for me.because I can't bear it anymore. To see her like this. to know that I cause it in an indirect way. it hurts so much. she is my friend forever and ever. how can she trust me so easily? To rescue me again and once again? Why is this happening to her? Heroes who save people were supposed to ride off into the sunset! Not to be like this, looking so dead, on a hospital bed. This is so unfair... This is so crazy. I hate feeling like this. I want all of us to be okay, to be safe, to be normal high-school teenagers. Is that an impossible dream? Why can't I stop them from shaking? Stop shaking! I clench my fist tighter and my body starts to tremble. The tears start flowing again, fast and furious, something that I can't stop.
It's so dark in here. So cold, so lonely. Why? WHY! Fuuko, you promise me that you be here for me when Recca is not around, you said you would be here always, smiling at me. Lies. all lies. I can't go on like this, the guilt the pain it is eating me up. My stomach hurts so badly. And it is my entire fault, all my fault. I hiccupped, dashing my fist across my eyes. Once you asked me who I like more Recca or you, I didn't answer then, because I didn't know what to say then. But I will tell you now that I like you more. because... because . because I love Recca. but that don't make you less important to me. in fact you are one of the most important person in my life! You are important to me, because you are my friend, because you are my smiling friend, because you fought for me, because you never blamed me, because you smile for me, because of every and anything that makes you who you are. Because. because you are Kirisawa Fuuko, my smiling friend. I wrap my arms around myself, for I feel so sad, so cold like any minute I could just tremble myself to bits.
I dash at my tears again, franticly trying to make myself stop. It seem so wrong to cry for you Fuuko. It makes me feel so guilty to even cry for you, as you would be so indignant. you would be so angry when you wake up because we have been so worried for you. You would shout at us for underestimating you. "How can you guys think such little injuries could kill me?!" I could just hear you rant at us.
At that moment, the door swing open and Recca trudge in followed more slowly by Domon. I rise seeing the pain in Recca's eyes, wanting to comfort him. But Domon catches my eyes and shakes his head. I back down as comprehension dawned on me. How foolish have I been? Comforting Recca when his ego is so fragile? When he feels so much guiltier then me? I probably made him feel worse. Nevertheless I went up to him and wrap my arms around his waist.
"For me. I need this", I whisper into his neck, seeking the warmth, trying to burrow in further. I feel so cold, oh so cold. Understanding and time have not lessen the pain, the guilt or the sorrow. but Recca. Recca-kun. you make all of them more bearable. Even when you are standing silent like this, you make it better because you are with me by my side. "Aishiteru." I mumbled into his nape. I feel so much better when his hands rise slowly to rest on my hips accompanied by the words I already knew, but not less important.
"Aishiteru," Recca whispered, "Daijoubu."
And in a deep secret part of myself, I felt relief so profound that it almost makes me cry again, that Recca was safe in my arms. And I felt so ashamed because of that.
Warning: Authoress Notes can be term as a compo itself (^_^)
Nothing belongs to me except plot.
Authoress Notes: Hallo! Sorry for posting this up so late.. I had a horrendous writer's block.. Special thanks to flutter~ who like went on to review almost all my stories, I repeat even those that have nothing to do with flame of recca that are like pasted months and months ago, special thanks also to terminal-insanity who likewise when on to review all my flame of recca stories, and Rhea-chan and Dark Phoenix for their extremely helpful e-mails!! Love you guys.!! *GlompS * them. Once again I would like to say.. I will not be continuing DarK.. sorry everybody. (_). Thanks everybody for your support on the previous chapter.. I really meant to take it down redo... but see all those wonderful reviews that will disappear if I took it down I haven't got the heart and will power to do it. Yare yare I know I'm weak. I'm changing this fic name.. because if Fuuko is to recover and not die.. then the title is like.shesh... so not accurate.. so I'm changing it to something like this?
Title( The Winds of Change
Subtitlles---( Dying Wind ( The period when Fuuko is unconscious)
Rising Wind (The period she recovers)
The Storm (The period of angst between two men Mika/Rai) Windy Season (The conclusion?)
So it will be like. Chapter 4: Dying Winds: Secret (Yanagi POV) kk? Ppl?
THIS IS SO TURNING INTO AN EPIC. Just hope you guys will not be too bored.
Okay now for the thank-que lists.. *Glomps * everybody for the amount of reviews.. thanks a million, you make so happy I could just float away!!!
ice blue eyes : Really? Thanks a million! I so glad my fic is not as bad as I thought.. Thanks!
Archica : * Faints * AHHHH! Another great one reviews my stories!! * Runs around in a happy little circle* THANKS U THANKS U THANK U THANK U.
wildchild : Because of you guys revies I'm not going to stop!! Thank que- thank que.. hope to see your review again! Domon is going to next!
Kurikurei : Yes ! I'm going to keep it up! Thanks for you review. I'm so happy (^_^).
~*~ReccaGirl~*~ : *Glomps * Another one of my favorite reviewers! Thank you for your wonderful review! Yup, if you look above, you can see I followed what you suggested thanks a million for reviewing! * Blush* it not that great.
rhea-chan : Yozzie! So glad to see your review!! Thanks you so much for reviewing and your wonderful e-mails!! *Hugs * Thank you! (^_^) Ps: I'm hugging the plushies now!!
terminal-insanity : YOZZIE! * Hugs* Thanks for your erm double reviews! Yup I know book 31 is out .. it is just that I haven bought it yet.. so kawaii, Aoi is on the back!! * So happy*-( drifting in a cloud of Aoi induced happiness. Thanks for your many many reviews! No I'm not going to sue you for liking To/Fuu.. you are entitled to your rights of choice. (^_^).
Dark Phoenix : *Hugs * Thanks for your wonderful e-mails! They really brighten my day! Yup, if you look above, you can see I followed what you suggested! Thanks for reviewing once again!! Domon is so cool in last chapter isn't he *sighs *.
flutter~ : *Hugs * *Glomps * MY ultimate reviewer!!! Thank you for your reviews.. I so happy!!! -( drifting in a cloud of flutter~ induced happiness, Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u!
Kari-n-Gatomon : Thanks for your review!!! Yanagi, then Domon.. Thanks!!! Thank you so much for review!!!
~Yanagi~
What. what happening? Why do I feel so cold suddenly? Recca-kun? Where is he? Kaoru-chan, Kaoru. why is he crying? What is happening? Did Mori Kouran sent men here again? No that can't be, he is died, he died and Fuuko. Oh God Fuuko. My eyes swing automatically to the bed at the other end of the room. Fuuko. Even after healing she still look so terrible. But I can't heal her anymore, the doctors will be suspicious, we can go without the attention.
Recca-kun, Recca, why did he leave me here? I rub at my eyes, grimacing slightly as I brush off the crystallized tears. Fuuko. my first impression of her was a wild girl who fights like a man, who was the first person but not the last to ever strike me. She is so brave, that the thought that prevailed my mind whenever I see her, so strong, both physically and mentally. She is somebody I want to be like. Sometimes I'm so jealous of her, in so many and every little way. I'm so envious of her years of friendship with Recca, something that I will never have. Her bravery, her kindness, her fighting skills, her easy-going attitude. Sometimes when I stand next to her I feel so lacking. I wonder often why did they bother befriending me, risking their life for someone as worthless as myself, someone who can't even defend herself. And when I ask her, she says because I'm myself, that what that is important. She accepted my for what I'm without qualms, my first ever female friend. Someone like her is so rare, one in a million perhaps. My hands start to shake so I clench them into fists.
I feel so empty now, like I have cried everything out of me. Somehow I feel this is all my fault. I just can't help this feeling. I know all of us contributed to this mess somehow but I have always felt like I'm the catalyst that starts it all. If Recca have not chosen me as his Hime, maybe than all this wouldn't have happen. I feel so guilty, so guilty. I want to do something, anything to make it up to them, to her. She accepted me so readily even when she knew she could die. She puts me before herself. How can I ever forgive myself? Shaking. My hands kept shaking. Why are they shaking?
How long have we been friends? When did we cross the line between acquaintances to friends? A month? A year? From the day we meet each other? So memories, all blending together, no longer distinguishable when and where they happened. How many times have she fought to protect me? Once, twice or had she been fighting for me since the day she started fighting? To rescue me from Kurei's laboratories, to prevent me from being Mori Kouran prize in UBS, to rescue me yet again in SODOM, so many times, uncountable, every time she gives more of herself. I feel so angry sometimes. Why is she so stupid? Helping somebody like me. somebody who is no importance to her. somebody who came between her and Recca, one of her few true friends. somebody who can never pay her back. sometimes I feel like I really hate her. why is she so kind to me? Do she know how much it hurts me to see her like this? They fight to protect me, to protect the light in my eyes, they said. But do they know each time I see them fight, getting injured because of me, a part of me dies, that the light fades from my eyes? It makes me feel so useless and guilty. sometimes I want to scream at her to stop fighting for me.because I can't bear it anymore. To see her like this. to know that I cause it in an indirect way. it hurts so much. she is my friend forever and ever. how can she trust me so easily? To rescue me again and once again? Why is this happening to her? Heroes who save people were supposed to ride off into the sunset! Not to be like this, looking so dead, on a hospital bed. This is so unfair... This is so crazy. I hate feeling like this. I want all of us to be okay, to be safe, to be normal high-school teenagers. Is that an impossible dream? Why can't I stop them from shaking? Stop shaking! I clench my fist tighter and my body starts to tremble. The tears start flowing again, fast and furious, something that I can't stop.
It's so dark in here. So cold, so lonely. Why? WHY! Fuuko, you promise me that you be here for me when Recca is not around, you said you would be here always, smiling at me. Lies. all lies. I can't go on like this, the guilt the pain it is eating me up. My stomach hurts so badly. And it is my entire fault, all my fault. I hiccupped, dashing my fist across my eyes. Once you asked me who I like more Recca or you, I didn't answer then, because I didn't know what to say then. But I will tell you now that I like you more. because... because . because I love Recca. but that don't make you less important to me. in fact you are one of the most important person in my life! You are important to me, because you are my friend, because you are my smiling friend, because you fought for me, because you never blamed me, because you smile for me, because of every and anything that makes you who you are. Because. because you are Kirisawa Fuuko, my smiling friend. I wrap my arms around myself, for I feel so sad, so cold like any minute I could just tremble myself to bits.
I dash at my tears again, franticly trying to make myself stop. It seem so wrong to cry for you Fuuko. It makes me feel so guilty to even cry for you, as you would be so indignant. you would be so angry when you wake up because we have been so worried for you. You would shout at us for underestimating you. "How can you guys think such little injuries could kill me?!" I could just hear you rant at us.
At that moment, the door swing open and Recca trudge in followed more slowly by Domon. I rise seeing the pain in Recca's eyes, wanting to comfort him. But Domon catches my eyes and shakes his head. I back down as comprehension dawned on me. How foolish have I been? Comforting Recca when his ego is so fragile? When he feels so much guiltier then me? I probably made him feel worse. Nevertheless I went up to him and wrap my arms around his waist.
"For me. I need this", I whisper into his neck, seeking the warmth, trying to burrow in further. I feel so cold, oh so cold. Understanding and time have not lessen the pain, the guilt or the sorrow. but Recca. Recca-kun. you make all of them more bearable. Even when you are standing silent like this, you make it better because you are with me by my side. "Aishiteru." I mumbled into his nape. I feel so much better when his hands rise slowly to rest on my hips accompanied by the words I already knew, but not less important.
"Aishiteru," Recca whispered, "Daijoubu."
And in a deep secret part of myself, I felt relief so profound that it almost makes me cry again, that Recca was safe in my arms. And I felt so ashamed because of that.
Warning: Authoress Notes can be term as a compo itself (^_^)
Nothing belongs to me except plot.
Authoress Notes: Hallo! Sorry for posting this up so late.. I had a horrendous writer's block.. Special thanks to flutter~ who like went on to review almost all my stories, I repeat even those that have nothing to do with flame of recca that are like pasted months and months ago, special thanks also to terminal-insanity who likewise when on to review all my flame of recca stories, and Rhea-chan and Dark Phoenix for their extremely helpful e-mails!! Love you guys.!! *GlompS * them. Once again I would like to say.. I will not be continuing DarK.. sorry everybody. (_). Thanks everybody for your support on the previous chapter.. I really meant to take it down redo... but see all those wonderful reviews that will disappear if I took it down I haven't got the heart and will power to do it. Yare yare I know I'm weak. I'm changing this fic name.. because if Fuuko is to recover and not die.. then the title is like.shesh... so not accurate.. so I'm changing it to something like this?
Title( The Winds of Change
Subtitlles---( Dying Wind ( The period when Fuuko is unconscious)
Rising Wind (The period she recovers)
The Storm (The period of angst between two men Mika/Rai) Windy Season (The conclusion?)
So it will be like. Chapter 4: Dying Winds: Secret (Yanagi POV) kk? Ppl?
THIS IS SO TURNING INTO AN EPIC. Just hope you guys will not be too bored.
Okay now for the thank-que lists.. *Glomps * everybody for the amount of reviews.. thanks a million, you make so happy I could just float away!!!
ice blue eyes : Really? Thanks a million! I so glad my fic is not as bad as I thought.. Thanks!
Archica : * Faints * AHHHH! Another great one reviews my stories!! * Runs around in a happy little circle* THANKS U THANKS U THANK U THANK U.
wildchild : Because of you guys revies I'm not going to stop!! Thank que- thank que.. hope to see your review again! Domon is going to next!
Kurikurei : Yes ! I'm going to keep it up! Thanks for you review. I'm so happy (^_^).
~*~ReccaGirl~*~ : *Glomps * Another one of my favorite reviewers! Thank you for your wonderful review! Yup, if you look above, you can see I followed what you suggested thanks a million for reviewing! * Blush* it not that great.
rhea-chan : Yozzie! So glad to see your review!! Thanks you so much for reviewing and your wonderful e-mails!! *Hugs * Thank you! (^_^) Ps: I'm hugging the plushies now!!
terminal-insanity : YOZZIE! * Hugs* Thanks for your erm double reviews! Yup I know book 31 is out .. it is just that I haven bought it yet.. so kawaii, Aoi is on the back!! * So happy*-( drifting in a cloud of Aoi induced happiness. Thanks for your many many reviews! No I'm not going to sue you for liking To/Fuu.. you are entitled to your rights of choice. (^_^).
Dark Phoenix : *Hugs * Thanks for your wonderful e-mails! They really brighten my day! Yup, if you look above, you can see I followed what you suggested! Thanks for reviewing once again!! Domon is so cool in last chapter isn't he *sighs *.
flutter~ : *Hugs * *Glomps * MY ultimate reviewer!!! Thank you for your reviews.. I so happy!!! -( drifting in a cloud of flutter~ induced happiness, Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u! Thank u!
Kari-n-Gatomon : Thanks for your review!!! Yanagi, then Domon.. Thanks!!! Thank you so much for review!!!