Well well. Very little in the way of reviews, but I didn't expect much.
After all, this fic is for me more than anyone else, and I tend to work
slowly when I'm being selfish. Maybe if I speed it up a bit, I'll see a
few more reviews? -wince- Argh, sunburn. Comes with summer, I guess.
Alright, time to get to business:
As you can see, the first few chapters aren't much to go on, but it's a start. I neglected to mention that there is about a 3-4 year gap between chapter one and chapter two. The first chapter is early in the Vong invasion, the second and third are current; that is to say, up to date with the StarWars books as of Star By Star and Rebel Dream. My applause goes out to Aaron Allston on that last one. I can't wait to see what else he has cooked up for us in Rebel Stand, which ought to be out in June. Enough ranting. Story time, boys and girls. (By the way, is anyone else angry about Boba Fett being a clone?) - I.C.
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Hyperspace. He'd always loved hyperspace, the exhilirating rush of making the jump to lightspeed, the ever-shifting patterns of light and energy as he passed through. And the quiet. The all-consuming quiet that gave him a moment's peace from feeling the full rush of the Force's proddings. A low, insistant chirruping interrupted his train of thought. Skifter, his astromech droid, wheeled into the cockpit, whistling a short message.
"No, we won't be making any stops on the way to Bastion. It should be a straight jump there." The little droid whistled another question, ending in a rather indignant blatting. Corin rolled his eyes indulgently. "Skifter, will you try and relax? I don't like quoting odds, but I'm fairly certain we'll be able to make Bastion without any serious complications. At least not one that I haven't planned for," he added quickly before the droid could rasberry a response. Skifter tootled his equivalent of a shrug and an "I hope you're right," then rolled out of the cockpit to talk to the Shadow's computer. Gaea nearly tripped over him, but managed to keep her balance as he rolled past. Without even bothering to stop, Skifter beeped a hasty apology and headed for the computer terminal. Gaea slipped through the cockpit door just before it shut, dropping lightly into the co-pilot's chair. Corin glanced away from the viewport, smiled at her arrival. "What's wrong? The hold too cramped for you?" She tossed off her usual smile, eyes alight with mischief and intelligence. It was incongrous with the innocence she projected to everyone else, but around him she came even more alive than she usually seemed.
"You know it's too cramped, or you wouldn't have asked. I had to get back to this," she explained, gesturing to the viewport, the open expanses of hyperspace playing out in a stunning light show as they passed through it. He nodded, understanding perfectly. Though she had been born of the same race and homeworld as he, she had grown up on a lush and green world, the second best thing to paradise as far as he was concerned. She was used to wide open spaces, rolling hills of green and forests that stretched for hundreds of kilometers, lakes and oceans covering thousands more. Space travel had been an unusual adjustment for her, but as long as she could see space, she seemed comfortable.
They sat in silence for a while, the lights dimmed and the door closed, enjoying the view of hyperspace. He felt a minor tremor, the silence becoming slightly awkward for his apprentice. He turned his gaze to her, observing her slowly. She avoided his gaze, looking down at her hands, folded in her lap, or up at the streaks of light shining through the transparisteel window. He waited. If she had something to say, she would say it. Otherwise, she tended to keep her thoughts to herself.
She looked up, noticing him watching her, then her cheeks reddened slightly. "May I ask something, master?" He shrugged, gesturing open- handed for her to speak. She nodded slightly and continued. "What...what did you mean exactly? Over Coruscant." His eyebrows rose slightly.
"I had thought you understood; focus on the Force anomalies to find the Vong, less on the emotions and thoughts of your passengers and crew." She frowned slightly, not diverted or amused in the slightest.
"You know that's not what I meant," she said quietly, sounding almost hurt. He sighed.
"Consider my exact words. I sa-" he began but she cut him off.
"I have. You told me to focus on what wasn't there rather than what is. Considering the exact context of the situation, I assumed you meant to focus on the Vong's non-presence, rather than your personal thoughts." Her eyes sparkled with the look of someone who knows a secret that they want to play with. "And they were more personal than you want to admit, weren't they." Corin found himself reddening slightly, to his great surprise and chagrin.
"Gaea...I really don't think-" he said as he was cut off yet again.
"No, you don't do you." He blinked. She was never this way when around others, especially other Jedi, thankfully. Discipline between master and apprentice was something he had worked hard with Luke and Kam to cultivate. "If you did think," she continued, "you'd have done something about how you feel by now."
"Gaea, it's different for us." She blinked at him, surprised. No denial, which she'd learned was the same as an admission, but it showed she was wrong, that he had thought about it. Calming techniques weren't masking her expression of surprise. She hadn't dared let her self really believe that he thought of her at all... "We," she realized he meant Jedi, "certainly are allowed to love. We're allowed to marry. For me, " he trailed off. "For me, it's hard to let anyone in. My past with the dark side has made it difficult for me to feel anything for anyone. And the only two people that I did love," he said, looking in her direction, but not really seeing her, "died. I couldn't save them."
"They were perfectly capable of saving themselves, Corin. It's not your fault." She looked as sympathetic and as serious as he'd ever seen her.
"The first was." He looked very old, suddenly. Immeasurably so.
"But she forgave you. You told me that." He looked at her, his gaze focusing on the present again.
"That doesn't mean I can forgive myself for what I was then. And for letting it happen." He turned back to the viewport, watching the shifting patterns of light.
Gaea sat in the co-pilot's seat, waiting for him to say something, unsure of what, if anything, she could say to break his fog of self doubt. After a time, she stood, and left the cockpit. Wandering the Shadow's close confines, she finally picked her way through the crowded ship to the gunwell she'd been sitting in earlier to think about their conversation. She'd never seen him like that before, brooding and nursing his old wounds. From what little she knew about his past, he'd always seemed to try to do the right thing, even when he was under the influence of the Emperor and the Emperor's darker servants. And he'd redeemed himself from the dark side, completing that process at almost the same time he'd met her. Meaning, she realized slowly, it was his own inner demons he still competed with that stopped him. He was afraid. But of what?
As you can see, the first few chapters aren't much to go on, but it's a start. I neglected to mention that there is about a 3-4 year gap between chapter one and chapter two. The first chapter is early in the Vong invasion, the second and third are current; that is to say, up to date with the StarWars books as of Star By Star and Rebel Dream. My applause goes out to Aaron Allston on that last one. I can't wait to see what else he has cooked up for us in Rebel Stand, which ought to be out in June. Enough ranting. Story time, boys and girls. (By the way, is anyone else angry about Boba Fett being a clone?) - I.C.
------
Hyperspace. He'd always loved hyperspace, the exhilirating rush of making the jump to lightspeed, the ever-shifting patterns of light and energy as he passed through. And the quiet. The all-consuming quiet that gave him a moment's peace from feeling the full rush of the Force's proddings. A low, insistant chirruping interrupted his train of thought. Skifter, his astromech droid, wheeled into the cockpit, whistling a short message.
"No, we won't be making any stops on the way to Bastion. It should be a straight jump there." The little droid whistled another question, ending in a rather indignant blatting. Corin rolled his eyes indulgently. "Skifter, will you try and relax? I don't like quoting odds, but I'm fairly certain we'll be able to make Bastion without any serious complications. At least not one that I haven't planned for," he added quickly before the droid could rasberry a response. Skifter tootled his equivalent of a shrug and an "I hope you're right," then rolled out of the cockpit to talk to the Shadow's computer. Gaea nearly tripped over him, but managed to keep her balance as he rolled past. Without even bothering to stop, Skifter beeped a hasty apology and headed for the computer terminal. Gaea slipped through the cockpit door just before it shut, dropping lightly into the co-pilot's chair. Corin glanced away from the viewport, smiled at her arrival. "What's wrong? The hold too cramped for you?" She tossed off her usual smile, eyes alight with mischief and intelligence. It was incongrous with the innocence she projected to everyone else, but around him she came even more alive than she usually seemed.
"You know it's too cramped, or you wouldn't have asked. I had to get back to this," she explained, gesturing to the viewport, the open expanses of hyperspace playing out in a stunning light show as they passed through it. He nodded, understanding perfectly. Though she had been born of the same race and homeworld as he, she had grown up on a lush and green world, the second best thing to paradise as far as he was concerned. She was used to wide open spaces, rolling hills of green and forests that stretched for hundreds of kilometers, lakes and oceans covering thousands more. Space travel had been an unusual adjustment for her, but as long as she could see space, she seemed comfortable.
They sat in silence for a while, the lights dimmed and the door closed, enjoying the view of hyperspace. He felt a minor tremor, the silence becoming slightly awkward for his apprentice. He turned his gaze to her, observing her slowly. She avoided his gaze, looking down at her hands, folded in her lap, or up at the streaks of light shining through the transparisteel window. He waited. If she had something to say, she would say it. Otherwise, she tended to keep her thoughts to herself.
She looked up, noticing him watching her, then her cheeks reddened slightly. "May I ask something, master?" He shrugged, gesturing open- handed for her to speak. She nodded slightly and continued. "What...what did you mean exactly? Over Coruscant." His eyebrows rose slightly.
"I had thought you understood; focus on the Force anomalies to find the Vong, less on the emotions and thoughts of your passengers and crew." She frowned slightly, not diverted or amused in the slightest.
"You know that's not what I meant," she said quietly, sounding almost hurt. He sighed.
"Consider my exact words. I sa-" he began but she cut him off.
"I have. You told me to focus on what wasn't there rather than what is. Considering the exact context of the situation, I assumed you meant to focus on the Vong's non-presence, rather than your personal thoughts." Her eyes sparkled with the look of someone who knows a secret that they want to play with. "And they were more personal than you want to admit, weren't they." Corin found himself reddening slightly, to his great surprise and chagrin.
"Gaea...I really don't think-" he said as he was cut off yet again.
"No, you don't do you." He blinked. She was never this way when around others, especially other Jedi, thankfully. Discipline between master and apprentice was something he had worked hard with Luke and Kam to cultivate. "If you did think," she continued, "you'd have done something about how you feel by now."
"Gaea, it's different for us." She blinked at him, surprised. No denial, which she'd learned was the same as an admission, but it showed she was wrong, that he had thought about it. Calming techniques weren't masking her expression of surprise. She hadn't dared let her self really believe that he thought of her at all... "We," she realized he meant Jedi, "certainly are allowed to love. We're allowed to marry. For me, " he trailed off. "For me, it's hard to let anyone in. My past with the dark side has made it difficult for me to feel anything for anyone. And the only two people that I did love," he said, looking in her direction, but not really seeing her, "died. I couldn't save them."
"They were perfectly capable of saving themselves, Corin. It's not your fault." She looked as sympathetic and as serious as he'd ever seen her.
"The first was." He looked very old, suddenly. Immeasurably so.
"But she forgave you. You told me that." He looked at her, his gaze focusing on the present again.
"That doesn't mean I can forgive myself for what I was then. And for letting it happen." He turned back to the viewport, watching the shifting patterns of light.
Gaea sat in the co-pilot's seat, waiting for him to say something, unsure of what, if anything, she could say to break his fog of self doubt. After a time, she stood, and left the cockpit. Wandering the Shadow's close confines, she finally picked her way through the crowded ship to the gunwell she'd been sitting in earlier to think about their conversation. She'd never seen him like that before, brooding and nursing his old wounds. From what little she knew about his past, he'd always seemed to try to do the right thing, even when he was under the influence of the Emperor and the Emperor's darker servants. And he'd redeemed himself from the dark side, completing that process at almost the same time he'd met her. Meaning, she realized slowly, it was his own inner demons he still competed with that stopped him. He was afraid. But of what?