Chapter Fifteen – The Beginning

At the hospital, Buffy stirred slightly. Dawn jumped up to look at her sister who had been so still for so long, but there was nothing else. She went back to watching Buffy – dying - again.

For Buffy there had been only black for so long. She'd felt the fear and then the pain as the light overtook her, but since then, only black and silence. Suddenly she heard an agonised cry, "Buffy, I tried to get to you, I'm sorry, so sorry....." She tried to react, knew she should react to this, but her energy was gone.

"Funny," he thought, "This isn't what I expected." He felt safe and warm, but it was so dark. Where was he? He pushed his awareness out, and found only Buffy. But she was so quiet, so still, almost dead. What had happened? He explored further; realising her life force was nearly gone. Then just as she had done for him so many weeks ago, Spike felt a little of his life force leave his essence and go to her. Slowly, she started to heal. As she healed, the darkness lifted, slowly, so slowly, but he could recognise where he was now. Somehow, when his body had turned to dust, his soul had sought out Buffy. Spike's soul was now resident in Buffy's body.

The whole of the gang was now at the hospital, waiting for the worst. Except it didn't happen. Buffy didn't die. In fact, the staff informed them, she seemed to be getting stronger. She was still unconscious, but she seemed stronger. It was now four days since the attack.

As Buffy regained her strength, she recognised Spike's presence. She was filled with such happiness that she didn't question how it had happened. Spike was going through Buffy's memories to try to understand what was going on. He was still working on healing Buffy, but she had been so close to death, that he eventually realised that he didn't have enough energy for both of them. Then he noticed a link. He could sense the Halkrew demon, knew a little of how it worked. It seemed if he concentrated, he could retrieve the life force that had been drained. He tried, gently at first. The energy flow was huge. At last, Buffy seemed to have absorbed everything she could, but the flow continued. Spike tried to deflect it into the world outside Buffy and could feel it returning to the others who had been stricken as Buffy had. But so many had died. There were not enough to absorb all the energy. The energy started to come into Spike and he had no way to stop it. Blinding white light surrounded him and the light was in him, and he felt sure he would ignite with the power of it. In the midst of this, he realised the Halkrew demon was dying. It had never known what it felt like to have the life force energy drained from it as was happening now. With one enormous explosion that only Spike could hear, it was gone, and Spike knew nothing else.

Buffy was still unconscious, but all around her, others in the hospital were recovering. The medical staff could not account for it, but the mood in the hospital changed from despair to hope. Dawn and the gang continued to sit with Buffy, not understanding why she had been the first to improve and yet the last to be well. Three days after Spike's defeat of the Halkrew, Buffy opened her eyes. She wasn't able to speak, but obviously understood what was going on around her. The relief of the gang was palpable. They were grinning and hugging and hoping this was the start of better times for the Slayer. Giles even took a couple of hours off to go back to check how the Magic Box was doing in his absence. He'd persuaded a friend to look after things, but the friend was an accountant and had little idea when it came to the arcane, so he was understandably concerned.

Buffy could hear her friends. She could understand what they were saying to her. She was still very weak, and the prospect of speaking was more than she could manage. She smiled at them and hoped they realised how happy she was. The only conversation which interested her at that moment, was the one inside her head. Spike was with her again. She knew he had saved her again. "I'm so glad you came back," she told him. "I've missed you so much. I wanted to tell you. I love you, it's not just the circumstances. I've never been more certain of anything."

Spike had already realised that Buffy loved him. It was so obvious when he first came into her head, but that didn't diminish his joy at hearing the words consciously thought. "What about a normal life?" he gently questioned her. "Are you sure you want to give up on that? Because, it'll kill me if you change your mind later."

Her answering thought quashed all his fears. "Never mind normal," she thought. "I can't live without you. I've been so miserable."

When Giles returned to the hospital he looked grave. He motioned for Xander and Willow to come out of Buffy's room so he could speak to them. "When I got to the shop, there was a message to contact the Watcher's Council as soon as possible. It seems there's been an incident. They didn't give me any details, but apparently, Spike went berserk in a public place and one of the operatives they've had shadowing him was forced to stake him. I'd suggest we don't tell Dawn and Buffy about this – not immediately any way." He was going to continue when Willow drew his attention to Dawn standing at the entrance to Buffy's room. She had heard everything. When she realised she'd been seen, she ran in the opposite direction. "Xander, go after her!" Giles said as Dawn disappeared round a corner.

Dawn found an open door off the corridor and went inside. She was in a cupboard, dark and quiet. She squatted against the wall and started to cry. She heard Xander run past the door looking for her, but she didn't care. Was it only a year ago she'd had Buffy and Spike? A little before that she'd had her mom too. Since Buffy died, nothing had been right. She needed her sister and she needed Spike. Even more importantly, she knew the only way Buffy would ever be happy was when she admitted her feelings for Spike. But now he was gone. She had always been sure he would come back some time. And now she knew Buffy wasn't going to die again, Spike was gone.... It was too much for her to cope with, and she just wanted to hide until her life made some sense again.

The rest of the gang went to see Buffy. They told her the news about Spike – there didn't seem much point in keeping it secret now – and she seemed to understand, but she smiled. They were surprised. Giles, in particular, knew that Buffy had been sure she loved Spike, so he assumed she was still confused and hadn't understood after all.

Buffy didn't know why they were so sad. Spike was here, she could feel him. She'd had a moment of panic when she'd heard his shout, but then she knew he was safe with her. "That's right, pet," he thought at her, "I'm with you and I'm not planning on changing that any time soon, - especially now I know you love me." Although her body was healing, she was still weak and she drifted off to sleep with a beautiful smile on her lips.