But all I could think of is my friend.
Cecil is why I wanted to go home. Cecil is why I was afraid to go.
He sent me a letter when they married. I must have read it a million times. I have it memorized now.
Kain,
I missed you at the wedding. I understand that it would have been hard for you. Know that you're always in our minds and hearts. Please, keep safe. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you. No matter what happened then and what happens later, you'll always be special to me. I'll never forget.
I hope to see you soon.
Love,
Cecil
I sighed and adjusted my headband. It was times like this that I missed wearing that bulky helmet all the time. It was a pain and it was hot, but it hid my face under it's mass. And, in turn, hid my emotions. I could control my voice, my word choice, my body language, but I never learned to control my eyes. The had betrayed innumerable times. The uneasiness at the pit of my stomach told me that they would betray me again if I was not careful.
The top most towers of the great castle of Baron bounced up and down over the horizon along with the chocobo I rode. I took a deep breath and dug my heels into the sides of my mount causing him to squwak and stall.
"Tomorrow," I said to myself. "Tomorrow, I'll deal with the present. Tonight, I have the past to contend with."