Title: Shades of Gray
Author: Carrie (CaReYbEaRy@aol.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.
Spoilers: Season Finale
Rating: PG, but it will probably change throughout the series
Category: Angst, Romance, little action, little everything
Distribution: Anywhere. Just let me know.
Author's Note: Okay, sorry about the last chapter, I know you guys probably didn't like that too much…but I've got to keep it interesting! Anyway… thanks for all your reviews, I appreciate them so much! Enjoy this next chapter!
CHAPTER 10
Sydney sat on the floor of her room, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were wet, but she wasn't sobbing. She couldn't believe that this had gone so wrong. One minute, they were almost kissing, and then the next he was gone. Now, she didn't have anyone to talk to, and no way to fix this situation with Vaughn. She felt stranded. She thought that maybe she could talk to Will, but she felt like she would probably get more of a lecture than advice.
She sat, alone, and felt like she had nothing; no one. She longed to hear the shrill sound of the phone and the words "Joey's Pizza." She refused to believe that she could lose him. Everyone in her life left her, he was the only one who had stayed with her, knowing what he was getting into.
She stayed like that for what seemed like hours. She knew she had to do something. So she called the only person she could.
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Sydney stood by the pier, like she had so many times with Vaughn. She looked out into the water, and then down at her hand, remembering how he had comforted her, without even really knowing her.
She was so lost in thought, that she barely heard the footsteps behind her.
"You called?" her father asked her. "Is anything wrong?" his usual hard tone mixed with concern.
Sydney nodded slightly, and began to speak. Her voice was soft. "Vaughn is going to ask to be removed as my handler. And I want you to stop him." Sydney said, not even really asking.
Her father was silent for a moment, not sure how he should respond. Sydney spoke again, sensing that he was puzzled.
"Please, don't ask any questions, just…see what you can do. I need him as my handler." She said sternly, not allowing herself to cry.
"Sydney, I don't really know what you want me to do here." He said.
"Just, make sure that he's my handler. I can't have anyone else. I won't." she said, trying to keep her resolve.
Her father simply nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to get any other information. Sydney looked back at the water, and waited for her father to leave, knowing that he wasn't going to say anything more. When she looked over to her side again, he was gone.
She remained at the pier, feeling anxious, but somehow better, knowing that she had taken some action into getting him back.
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Jack cornered Vaughn in the garage, as he was walking into the CIA office building. Vaughn was walking at a quick pace with a determined look on his face, and Jack knew what he was about to do. He walked up to him and put his hand out for him to stop.
"Agent Vaughn, I'd like to have a word with you."
Vaughn looked startled, but didn't miss a beat. He nodded.
"For whatever reasons you may have for removing yourself as Sydney's handler, she wants you to stay, and I suggest that you do." Jack said, knowing that he'd probably need more than that.
"Mr. Bristow, it was good of you to come and talk to me personally, but my mind is made up. It'll be better for both of us this way." Vaughn said, trying to believe his own words.
"She doesn't think so. And I trust her judgment more than I trust yours. If she says that she wants you, then that is what is best. I will not allow you to do anything that will endanger her."
"She's already in danger. And it will only be greater if I remain as her handler. Believe me, I don't want anything to happen to her either." Vaughn said, really not wanting to discuss this with Jack.
"I don't like to fight these battles for her. Whatever has happened should be discussed between the two of you. As Sydney's handler, you are in charge of ensuring her comfort and safety. She is very valuable to the CIA, and what she wants, goes. Whatever petty insecurities you have should be dismissed to focus on the task at hand. You should think very hard about the decision you are about to make. Once it is made, it can't be changed. I told you that you had my respect, Mr. Vaughn, I didn't say it was permanent, and it is a lot harder to gain the second time around." With that, Jack walked away, leaving Vaughn silent, and wondering what he was supposed to do now.
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Sydney was going insane with anxiety. Luckily, she'd had a class in the morning, and dropped into work for a few hours, but upon arriving home, she had nothing to do but wait. It was now five in the evening and no one was there. Will was napping, and Francie was still at work. She hadn't heard from her dad, and she needed to know if he'd fixed her problem. She was guessing that he hadn't, since there had been no wrong numbers today. She thought about waking Will up to do something to keep her from going crazy, but then reconsidered, not really wanting to hang out with Will.
She paced in her room for a bit, before moving into the living room. She turned on the television and went into the kitchen. She rifled in the cabinets, before deciding that she couldn't eat when she was this nervous. She moved back into the living room and sat down on the couch, staring at the screen. She had no idea what was going on, she didn't even know what program she was watching. All of her energy was focused on straining to hear a ring of the phone.
She remained in this position for a long time, her entire body tense, when, in a miraculous moment, the phone sprang to life.
She answered it on the first ring; her had grasping the phone as she uttered a "Hello?"
"Joey's Pizza?" the voice on the other end asked.
"Wrong number." She said, her skin tingling in anticipation. She prayed that it would be Vaughn that she met at the warehouse, and not a new handler with the same code call.
She ran to the door, grabbing her coat and rushing to her car. She sped all the way to the warehouse, not really caring if she was making a scene, but as she pulled up to the warehouse, all of the adrenaline left her system, and was replaced with an overwhelming fear of what she might find. She slowed down and tentatively opened her car door, stepping out slowly. Having the mind of a spy, she was already thinking up possible scenarios for what she would find behind the door.
She walked into the building, closing the door behind her. She walked towards the back corner where their little cage was and exhaled as she saw the back of his familiar form.
He turned around as she came in, and she looked into his eyes, somehow relieved to know that they were still that piercing green.
"Hi." She said softly, as if testing the waters.
"Hi." He responded just as quietly.
"So, you're staying?" she asked, afraid of the answer.
He barely nodded. "It was stupid for me to get upset about something like that. It shouldn't matter to me what you think about me. The only thing that matters is the mission and your safety." He said, the words stinging his tongue as they came out.
"It does matter." Sydney said softly. "And it should. Through all of this, we've managed to become friends. And Vaughn, you have to believe that I never thought you could be the mole." She said. "Ever." She added for emphasis.
Vaughn nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. "Good to know." He said, trying to lighten up the conversation. Realizing that they had nothing, no mission, to talk about, he wracked his brain for anything he could say to her.
Sydney was doing the same thing, but came up empty. She did the only thing that came to her. She closed the gap between she and Vaughn and wrapped her arms around him. She rested her head on his chest and squeezed tightly.
It took Vaughn a moment to react, but he quickly put his arms around her back as well.
"Please. Don't ever leave me again. I couldn't do this without you." Sydney said, not looking in his eyes. She didn't think that she could admit this if he was looking right into her soul.
"I won't." He said softly, finally gripping how much Sydney needed him to be there for her. They stayed in the embrace for a long time, neither wanting to lose the contact. Finally, they broke apart.
"I should get going." Sydney said at last.
Vaughn nodded, but remained silent. No words needed to be said, and Sydney walked out of the warehouse. Vaughn stayed in the warehouse for a long time, just thinking about his situation. With Sydney, with the CIA, with himself. Lately, it seemed like everything he did was a battle. He couldn't even go to work without it being a hassle. He knew that he was making a mistake, professionally, by not resigning as Sydney's handler, but his heart wouldn't let him do it.
After his encounter with Jack, Vaughn thought for a long time about what his life would be like if he had gone through with it. Basically, he pictured a lot of boredom, loneliness, and lack of…everything. Sydney made his life exciting. She made him want to go to work and fight for his country. He knew that she could make him do whatever she wanted, and that he would enjoy it. He would do anything for her; sacrifice everything. He just hoped that it wouldn't come to that.
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Sorry for the wait…I've been busy (finals are a bitch), but I hope that you're happy that Vaughn and Sydney made up. I know I am. I wanted to get it perfect, I tried. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks again for all your support! I appreciate it so much!
Author: Carrie (CaReYbEaRy@aol.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.
Spoilers: Season Finale
Rating: PG, but it will probably change throughout the series
Category: Angst, Romance, little action, little everything
Distribution: Anywhere. Just let me know.
Author's Note: Okay, sorry about the last chapter, I know you guys probably didn't like that too much…but I've got to keep it interesting! Anyway… thanks for all your reviews, I appreciate them so much! Enjoy this next chapter!
CHAPTER 10
Sydney sat on the floor of her room, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were wet, but she wasn't sobbing. She couldn't believe that this had gone so wrong. One minute, they were almost kissing, and then the next he was gone. Now, she didn't have anyone to talk to, and no way to fix this situation with Vaughn. She felt stranded. She thought that maybe she could talk to Will, but she felt like she would probably get more of a lecture than advice.
She sat, alone, and felt like she had nothing; no one. She longed to hear the shrill sound of the phone and the words "Joey's Pizza." She refused to believe that she could lose him. Everyone in her life left her, he was the only one who had stayed with her, knowing what he was getting into.
She stayed like that for what seemed like hours. She knew she had to do something. So she called the only person she could.
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Sydney stood by the pier, like she had so many times with Vaughn. She looked out into the water, and then down at her hand, remembering how he had comforted her, without even really knowing her.
She was so lost in thought, that she barely heard the footsteps behind her.
"You called?" her father asked her. "Is anything wrong?" his usual hard tone mixed with concern.
Sydney nodded slightly, and began to speak. Her voice was soft. "Vaughn is going to ask to be removed as my handler. And I want you to stop him." Sydney said, not even really asking.
Her father was silent for a moment, not sure how he should respond. Sydney spoke again, sensing that he was puzzled.
"Please, don't ask any questions, just…see what you can do. I need him as my handler." She said sternly, not allowing herself to cry.
"Sydney, I don't really know what you want me to do here." He said.
"Just, make sure that he's my handler. I can't have anyone else. I won't." she said, trying to keep her resolve.
Her father simply nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to get any other information. Sydney looked back at the water, and waited for her father to leave, knowing that he wasn't going to say anything more. When she looked over to her side again, he was gone.
She remained at the pier, feeling anxious, but somehow better, knowing that she had taken some action into getting him back.
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Jack cornered Vaughn in the garage, as he was walking into the CIA office building. Vaughn was walking at a quick pace with a determined look on his face, and Jack knew what he was about to do. He walked up to him and put his hand out for him to stop.
"Agent Vaughn, I'd like to have a word with you."
Vaughn looked startled, but didn't miss a beat. He nodded.
"For whatever reasons you may have for removing yourself as Sydney's handler, she wants you to stay, and I suggest that you do." Jack said, knowing that he'd probably need more than that.
"Mr. Bristow, it was good of you to come and talk to me personally, but my mind is made up. It'll be better for both of us this way." Vaughn said, trying to believe his own words.
"She doesn't think so. And I trust her judgment more than I trust yours. If she says that she wants you, then that is what is best. I will not allow you to do anything that will endanger her."
"She's already in danger. And it will only be greater if I remain as her handler. Believe me, I don't want anything to happen to her either." Vaughn said, really not wanting to discuss this with Jack.
"I don't like to fight these battles for her. Whatever has happened should be discussed between the two of you. As Sydney's handler, you are in charge of ensuring her comfort and safety. She is very valuable to the CIA, and what she wants, goes. Whatever petty insecurities you have should be dismissed to focus on the task at hand. You should think very hard about the decision you are about to make. Once it is made, it can't be changed. I told you that you had my respect, Mr. Vaughn, I didn't say it was permanent, and it is a lot harder to gain the second time around." With that, Jack walked away, leaving Vaughn silent, and wondering what he was supposed to do now.
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Sydney was going insane with anxiety. Luckily, she'd had a class in the morning, and dropped into work for a few hours, but upon arriving home, she had nothing to do but wait. It was now five in the evening and no one was there. Will was napping, and Francie was still at work. She hadn't heard from her dad, and she needed to know if he'd fixed her problem. She was guessing that he hadn't, since there had been no wrong numbers today. She thought about waking Will up to do something to keep her from going crazy, but then reconsidered, not really wanting to hang out with Will.
She paced in her room for a bit, before moving into the living room. She turned on the television and went into the kitchen. She rifled in the cabinets, before deciding that she couldn't eat when she was this nervous. She moved back into the living room and sat down on the couch, staring at the screen. She had no idea what was going on, she didn't even know what program she was watching. All of her energy was focused on straining to hear a ring of the phone.
She remained in this position for a long time, her entire body tense, when, in a miraculous moment, the phone sprang to life.
She answered it on the first ring; her had grasping the phone as she uttered a "Hello?"
"Joey's Pizza?" the voice on the other end asked.
"Wrong number." She said, her skin tingling in anticipation. She prayed that it would be Vaughn that she met at the warehouse, and not a new handler with the same code call.
She ran to the door, grabbing her coat and rushing to her car. She sped all the way to the warehouse, not really caring if she was making a scene, but as she pulled up to the warehouse, all of the adrenaline left her system, and was replaced with an overwhelming fear of what she might find. She slowed down and tentatively opened her car door, stepping out slowly. Having the mind of a spy, she was already thinking up possible scenarios for what she would find behind the door.
She walked into the building, closing the door behind her. She walked towards the back corner where their little cage was and exhaled as she saw the back of his familiar form.
He turned around as she came in, and she looked into his eyes, somehow relieved to know that they were still that piercing green.
"Hi." She said softly, as if testing the waters.
"Hi." He responded just as quietly.
"So, you're staying?" she asked, afraid of the answer.
He barely nodded. "It was stupid for me to get upset about something like that. It shouldn't matter to me what you think about me. The only thing that matters is the mission and your safety." He said, the words stinging his tongue as they came out.
"It does matter." Sydney said softly. "And it should. Through all of this, we've managed to become friends. And Vaughn, you have to believe that I never thought you could be the mole." She said. "Ever." She added for emphasis.
Vaughn nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. "Good to know." He said, trying to lighten up the conversation. Realizing that they had nothing, no mission, to talk about, he wracked his brain for anything he could say to her.
Sydney was doing the same thing, but came up empty. She did the only thing that came to her. She closed the gap between she and Vaughn and wrapped her arms around him. She rested her head on his chest and squeezed tightly.
It took Vaughn a moment to react, but he quickly put his arms around her back as well.
"Please. Don't ever leave me again. I couldn't do this without you." Sydney said, not looking in his eyes. She didn't think that she could admit this if he was looking right into her soul.
"I won't." He said softly, finally gripping how much Sydney needed him to be there for her. They stayed in the embrace for a long time, neither wanting to lose the contact. Finally, they broke apart.
"I should get going." Sydney said at last.
Vaughn nodded, but remained silent. No words needed to be said, and Sydney walked out of the warehouse. Vaughn stayed in the warehouse for a long time, just thinking about his situation. With Sydney, with the CIA, with himself. Lately, it seemed like everything he did was a battle. He couldn't even go to work without it being a hassle. He knew that he was making a mistake, professionally, by not resigning as Sydney's handler, but his heart wouldn't let him do it.
After his encounter with Jack, Vaughn thought for a long time about what his life would be like if he had gone through with it. Basically, he pictured a lot of boredom, loneliness, and lack of…everything. Sydney made his life exciting. She made him want to go to work and fight for his country. He knew that she could make him do whatever she wanted, and that he would enjoy it. He would do anything for her; sacrifice everything. He just hoped that it wouldn't come to that.
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Sorry for the wait…I've been busy (finals are a bitch), but I hope that you're happy that Vaughn and Sydney made up. I know I am. I wanted to get it perfect, I tried. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks again for all your support! I appreciate it so much!