A/N: Okay, I think I am the first, so i would like to make this claim now: This is the original story that compares Draco/Eminem. If it isn't, please email me and tell me about the story, and I'll change this authors note to say the second. :C) Okay, part two of song wars. i'm surprised at how short it takes to write these chapters. and fun. Wow, another short A/N?!? Creepy!!! LOL, Love, Dragonessa Smith
"Attention, attention everybody!" Hermione looked up from the napkin she had been signing for a little girl as Mdm. Rosemerta started talking into the mike again.
"We have a challenger!" She cried. Everyone cheered.
"Wonder who it is?" Dean said.
"Without further ado, herrrreeesssss- Draco!"
Hermione, who had started to take a drink of butterbeer, suddenly spat it out all over Parvati and Lavender. They didn't even notice, because at that moment, Draco appeared on stage.
She almost laughed when she realized who he was supposed to be. His white-blond hair had been shoved under a white visor worn backwards. He was wearing a white tank top and baggy grey sweat pants.
"You have got to be kidding me." She said. "Draco as Eminem?"
All talk ceased as the music started, and he began to talk.
Whatever
Ron just let it run
Ay yo turn the beat up a little bit
Ay yo, this song is for anyone
Fuck it just shut up and listen
The whole room was silent as Draco began to rap.
I must admit, he plays the part well, Hermione thought.
Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this - on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
He squatted down, holding the microphone close to his mouth. The entire audience leaned forward.
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
He jumped up suddenly, making everyone draw back again.
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feeding' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a mother fucking thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
"He doesn't even know who NSYNC is." Hermione started to say to Ginny, but she just held up a finger and said "Shhh." While staring up at Draco.
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me
How can he just stand there and captivate the whole audience like that? Hermione wondered.
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
"The song sort of fits him, doesn't it?" Harry whispered to Ron as they watched from the wings.
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
"Yes, indeed." Ron said, chuckling slightly.
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bull shit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at?
"Where were his parents at? Crack 'R' Us?" Parvati whispered. Lavander cracked up.
"Shhh!" Dean and Seamus said at the same time.
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned
"So he's glad that they're mean to him, because it inspires him to be meaner?" Neville asked.
"Shhh..." Hermione found herself doing. "This is my favorite part."
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
"He's not the only one." Ernie muttered. Justin almost laughed, but a glare from Hannah stopped him.
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
"His what?!?" Mdm. Rosemerta exclaimed.
"Shhh!" Everyone responded.
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to?
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
"Not exactly Mandy Moore, is he?" Cho said. Before anyone could say anything, she said "I know, I know, shhh."
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I amIf I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
As the music ended, everyone burst into applause.
"Well," A flustered Mdm. Rosemerta took the microphone from a blushing Draco. "I think it's safe to say that was one of the more...interesting performances we've seen. And Draco, dear?" She said, looking offstage where he was standing. "If you ever say any of those words in here again, I'll kick your sweet patootie right out onto the street."
Everyone laughed again.
"Well," She continued, unaware of how her next comment would affect almost all the people in the audience. "I'd think it's safe to say the guys came out victorious here."
The audience exploded.
"NO WAY!" Hermione yelled. "Everyone laughed more at my performance!"
"But guys and girls liked mine!" Draco yelled back.
"Guys liked hers!" Ginny shouted.
"The only guys who didn't like it was you three!" Lavender said.
"Dean didn't like it, did you Dean? Dean?" Ron said, glancing at Dean. He looked away, scrathing the back of his head and whisteling. "You traitor!"
"Hey, hey, HEY!" Mdm. Rosemerta shouted into the mike. "You guys want to settle this, right?" A rumble of approval. "Well, why don't you do what you've already done, and have a sing off?"
"Fine. We will." Hermione turned to Ron, Harry, and Draco. The boys silently drifted behind them. The girls drifted behind Hermione. "Ron, on behalf of the other girls of Hogwarts, we challenge you to a sing-off. Do you except?"
"On behalf of the boys, we accept."
They shook hands.
"I have a bad feeling about this..." Neville said.
"Attention, attention everybody!" Hermione looked up from the napkin she had been signing for a little girl as Mdm. Rosemerta started talking into the mike again.
"We have a challenger!" She cried. Everyone cheered.
"Wonder who it is?" Dean said.
"Without further ado, herrrreeesssss- Draco!"
Hermione, who had started to take a drink of butterbeer, suddenly spat it out all over Parvati and Lavender. They didn't even notice, because at that moment, Draco appeared on stage.
She almost laughed when she realized who he was supposed to be. His white-blond hair had been shoved under a white visor worn backwards. He was wearing a white tank top and baggy grey sweat pants.
"You have got to be kidding me." She said. "Draco as Eminem?"
All talk ceased as the music started, and he began to talk.
Whatever
Ron just let it run
Ay yo turn the beat up a little bit
Ay yo, this song is for anyone
Fuck it just shut up and listen
The whole room was silent as Draco began to rap.
I must admit, he plays the part well, Hermione thought.
Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this - on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
He squatted down, holding the microphone close to his mouth. The entire audience leaned forward.
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
He jumped up suddenly, making everyone draw back again.
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feeding' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a mother fucking thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
"He doesn't even know who NSYNC is." Hermione started to say to Ginny, but she just held up a finger and said "Shhh." While staring up at Draco.
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me
How can he just stand there and captivate the whole audience like that? Hermione wondered.
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
"The song sort of fits him, doesn't it?" Harry whispered to Ron as they watched from the wings.
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
"Yes, indeed." Ron said, chuckling slightly.
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bull shit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at?
"Where were his parents at? Crack 'R' Us?" Parvati whispered. Lavander cracked up.
"Shhh!" Dean and Seamus said at the same time.
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned
"So he's glad that they're mean to him, because it inspires him to be meaner?" Neville asked.
"Shhh..." Hermione found herself doing. "This is my favorite part."
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
"He's not the only one." Ernie muttered. Justin almost laughed, but a glare from Hannah stopped him.
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
"His what?!?" Mdm. Rosemerta exclaimed.
"Shhh!" Everyone responded.
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to?
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
"Not exactly Mandy Moore, is he?" Cho said. Before anyone could say anything, she said "I know, I know, shhh."
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I amIf I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
As the music ended, everyone burst into applause.
"Well," A flustered Mdm. Rosemerta took the microphone from a blushing Draco. "I think it's safe to say that was one of the more...interesting performances we've seen. And Draco, dear?" She said, looking offstage where he was standing. "If you ever say any of those words in here again, I'll kick your sweet patootie right out onto the street."
Everyone laughed again.
"Well," She continued, unaware of how her next comment would affect almost all the people in the audience. "I'd think it's safe to say the guys came out victorious here."
The audience exploded.
"NO WAY!" Hermione yelled. "Everyone laughed more at my performance!"
"But guys and girls liked mine!" Draco yelled back.
"Guys liked hers!" Ginny shouted.
"The only guys who didn't like it was you three!" Lavender said.
"Dean didn't like it, did you Dean? Dean?" Ron said, glancing at Dean. He looked away, scrathing the back of his head and whisteling. "You traitor!"
"Hey, hey, HEY!" Mdm. Rosemerta shouted into the mike. "You guys want to settle this, right?" A rumble of approval. "Well, why don't you do what you've already done, and have a sing off?"
"Fine. We will." Hermione turned to Ron, Harry, and Draco. The boys silently drifted behind them. The girls drifted behind Hermione. "Ron, on behalf of the other girls of Hogwarts, we challenge you to a sing-off. Do you except?"
"On behalf of the boys, we accept."
They shook hands.
"I have a bad feeling about this..." Neville said.