Memories to Change
Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Seed or any of the characters, so don't sue me.
Note: This fic takes place not long after the events of the anime series.
Two weeks had passed since the Aragamis had disappeared from Japan. Finally, peace had returned and everyone could sleep on their two ears without fearing the worst. The danger was gone now, forever. Everyone could finally live a normal life, especially some sixteen-year-old girl, whose life had changed rather drastically several months ago.
Now, she was back in Izumo, her hometown. A lot of people there had missed her, especially her best friend, Akiko. She was so glad that Momiji was back home. They could finally spend some time together, like before the Kushinada incident.
But unfortunately, Momiji didn't share the same enthusiasm. Of course, she was happy to see everyone again, and she was feeling relatively good – how could she feel bad at a time like this? But still, there was something she couldn't get off her mind. Kusanagi was back in Izumo as well, and she should have been happier than ever, but it wasn't the case. She had waited and waited, and he still hadn't told her how he felt about her.
Now Momiji was starting to wonder if he really cared. It didn't seem like it. Even after promising her to always stay by her side, he was still kind of distant. Most of the time, he only came to watch her through her bedroom window. And anytime they would talk, he would keep teasing her. It was impossible to have any kind of serious conversation with him.
That was not what Momiji wanted. She wanted him to be with her, to talk to her, to love her. She was just about to give up hope. It couldn't be helped. Kusanagi didn't love her. She was sure of it. If he did, he wouldn't act like an idiot all the time. How could he be so cruel with her? She loved him. She loved him more than anything, and he knew it.
Why, Kusanagi? Why don't you love me?
It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Momiji had just got up, and she was getting ready to go to the park with Akiko. They were going to have a picnic, so she was preparing lunch. She looked out the window. The weather was perfect; the air was warm and the sun was shining brightly in the sky. Momiji couldn't wait. It had been so long since she spent any time with her best friend. She was really looking forward to it. They had so much to tell each other, especially Momiji. She had promised Akiko she would explain everything to her after it was all over. Now the time had come, and she had to do it, no matter how hard it was. Akiko was her best friend, after all, and she had a right to know.
Momiji glanced at the clock. Eleven AM. I better get going… She threw the neatly wrapped lunch boxes into a bag and ran out the door.
When she arrived at the park, Akiko was sitting on one of the swings. Momiji apologized for making her wait and took place on the next one.
"I'm so glad you could make it, Momiji. Seems like forever since we were here last," Akiko said, smiling softly.
Momiji returned a fake smile. "I know. I can't believe I'm really here…"
Despite her best efforts, Momiji knew she was doing a very poor job at trying to look happy. And she knew that Akiko could see right through it.
"What's bothering you, Momiji?"
Akiko knew very well that if she didn't ask, her friend would just keep making faces until she did.
Momiji sighed. "Well… um… I promised I'd tell you… you know… about the whole incident… And I guess now's the time…"
Akiko looked at her deeply. "You don't have to… If you're not ready to talk about it."
"No, it's okay, Akiko. You know I always keep my promises. And I really have to get this off my chest."
Akiko considered her words for a moment then nodded, bringing a supportive hand to her friend's shoulder.
Momiji explained everything from A to Z about the Kushinadas, the Aragamis and Susanooh. Akiko knew how hard it was for Momiji to talk about all this, and she admired her courage. She was especially touched that her friend had insisted to tell her about it. Since the beginning of the incident, she felt like she didn't recognize her friend anymore. Momiji used to tell her everything, and then it was as if she had become a completely different person.
"So… that's about it… I hope I didn't confuse you too much," Momiji said, a bit out of breath.
Akiko smiled at her, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "No, it's okay. Thanks, Momiji. I know it took a lot of courage to tell me all this. I just hope it made you feel better."
"Yes, thank you. I don't know what I would do without a friend like you. You've always been there for me when I needed to talk. And you always understand me. You have no idea how much I missed you when I was in Tokyo."
Akiko smiled again. She was happy she helped her friend get this huge weight off her shoulders, but she felt like she should try to change the subject, to cheer Momiji up a bit. Then it hit her.
"Wait a minute!" She grinned. "Momiji! I had completely forgotten about that… You still haven't introduced me to your boyfriend!"
Momiji's eyes widened. "Huh? Wha…? What are you talking about!"
Akiko chuckled. "Hey, come on, now, don't lie! You're blushing!"
"No, I'm not! And I don't have a boyfriend!"
"Yeah, right. You're a terrible liar, Momiji! And I don't believe you."
Momiji glared at her. "Well, you should! Cause you're wrong! I don't have a boyfriend!"
"That look never fools me." She giggled. "I knew you were lying!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Yes, you are!"
"No, I'm not!"
The two of them stopped and looked at each other. They sounded so stupid and childish they couldn't help but burst out laughing. They laughed out loud for a long moment, until Akiko stopped and realized that Momiji was now crying.
She gave her friend a worried look. "Mo-Momiji? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"S-sorry…" She sobbed.
"Momiji… Did I say something wrong?"
"It's not that… It's not your fault."
"What's wrong? Tell me. Is there anything I can do to help? Please. I hate seeing you like this."
Momiji swallowed a sob, then rubbed her eyes. "Listen…"
Akiko looked at her expectantly.
"You're right… I do have a boyfriend…" She let out a sigh. "Well… If at least I was sure…"
"What do you mean?" Akiko asked, puzzled.
"I met him on the first day of the incident… He's the bodyguard I told you about. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth about him…" She looked down at her feet. "But… It hurts…"
Akiko was listening carefully. She could see the sadness in her friend's eyes. She nodded to tell her to continue.
"I love him more than anything, but he doesn't seem to care. Now I think that all he wanted was to protect me against the Aragamis… He never gave a damn about me…" She looked up at Akiko. "But I… I love him so much… I almost lost him once, and I thought I was gonna die…" She paused a moment, gathering her thoughts. "Now he's here, but he's so distant… It's as if I didn't exist…"
"Does he know you love him?"
Momiji nodded. "Yeah… I already told him… a while ago… But he never replied." She sighed again. "I don't even know what he thinks about me… It's so hard, Akiko…" Tears started rolling down her cheeks again.
Akiko got off the swing and helped Momiji up, holding her tightly in her arms.
"I understand, Momiji… But give him some time… Maybe he's confused and needs to think about it a little. Maybe he has a hard time dealing with his own feelings."
"Maybe… maybe you're right…"
Akiko slowly let go of her, and put her hands on her shoulders. "Come on, Momiji, look at the sun. You can't cry on a day like this." She smiled. "Have faith. I'm sure he'll come to you when he's ready. After all, if he hated you, he wouldn't be around at all, would he?"
Momiji wiped her cheeks. "Yeah, you're right."
She tried her best to smile. Akiko was right. She couldn't go on like this. She had to trust Kusanagi. There was still hope after all; he had yet to give her an answer.
The day after, Momiji was in school. But her mind wasn't there at all. She kept looking out the window, hoping to catch sight of Kusanagi. She scanned every tree, one after the other, just in case he could have been in one of them. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. But in her heart, she knew he wasn't far. At least, she hoped so.
After class, Momiji took the bus back home. After she got off, she began walking through the ever-so-familiar forest. She was looking at her feet. She had used this path so often before, she didn't even have to look where she was going anymore. She was lost in thought.
Kusanagi…How much longer will you make me wait? I know I have to be strong, but…This is getting so hard to deal with…
Suddenly, she bumped into something and almost fell backwards, but she felt a hand catch her wrist.
"Hey, look where you're going Princess. You almost knocked me down!"
Momiji's heart started pounding. She looked up and saw Kusanagi, who was smirking at her.
"Kusanagi!"
Her green eyes were sparkling. She was so happy to see him.
"So, Princess," he said, sounding as cool as ever, "can I walk you home?"
Momiji looked at him in disbelief. Had Kusanagi, this immature, sarcastic jerk, just offered to accompany her? At first, she thought he was still teasing her, so she didn't reply right away, afraid he'd call her an idiot again. But then she looked him in the eyes and saw that he was being serious for once. She nodded. What was she risking, anyway?
They began walking silently, side by side. Momiji was dying to talk to him, but she didn't feel like breaking the silence. His simple presence had already made her day. She was looking at the trees. The forest was beautiful in the sun. She hadn't felt this peaceful in what seemed like ages.
Suddenly, she realized that Kusanagi had stopped walking. She turned around and saw him standing still, a few feet behind her. His arms were crossed, and he was looking at the ground, a frown on his face.
"Kusanagi?"
He didn't hear her. He was lost in thought. While he was walking in this forest, a flashback had come to him. Bad memories.
'I'm sorry, Kushinada, but it's time for you to die.'
Kusanagi shivered at the thought. He had tried to kill her that day. The fear he had seen in Momiji's eyes then was something he had been trying to banish from his mind. This kind of memories made him feel like a monster. In all his life, Momiji was the only person who had accepted him for who he was. She was the only one to ever have feelings for him. But for some reason, that made him feel even worse. I don't deserve her. That's what he had kept telling himself ever since she had confessed her love to him. She was so sweet and innocent, and he was just a freak. How could she feel that way about him?
Kusanagi sighed loudly and opened his eyes. Momiji was now standing right in front of him. He could see the concern in her eyes. Did she really care that much about him?
She makes me feel so… normal. Why is it that every time I'm with her, I forget about everything else?
The look on Momiji's face was starting to make him uneasy. He didn't like seeing her like this. He looked away for a moment, deep in thought. He had something on his mind that had been there for way too long now.
"Momiji… There's something I want to tell you."
No way… Is he really going to…?
"Look at this forest."
Momiji's face dropped. What? That was the last thing she had expected to hear.
"What do you see when you look at this forest?" He was gazing into the distance.
Momiji frowned. "What kind of question is that? I see trees, what else…"
Kusanagi shook his head. "No, Momiji. That's not what I mean…" He looked at her. "Doesn't this place bring back memories?"
Momiji was confused. What was he talking about? She pondered for a moment. Suddenly, the traumatic scene flashed before her eyes. She was shocked. How could she have forgotten? They were standing in the exact same spot when they first ran into each other, all these months ago. She could hardly believe it had all started this way. The more she thought about it, the more she wished she hadn't remembered.
"You'd like to forget too, right?"
Momiji looked up at him. Is that what's been bothering him all this time?
Kusanagi took in a deep breath. "I've been thinking about this for a while, Momiji. I don't want to remember this every time I walk here. This is a beautiful place, isn't it? Why should it bring back bad memories?"
He looked at Momiji. She was staring at an invisible spot in front of her, a sad look in her eyes.
"I thought," he continued, "that we could change this." He was silent a moment, then a thin smile formed on his lips. "What do you say we give this place a new image?"
Momiji looked at him again. He was smiling softly. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, but Kusanagi didn't let her. He took her in his arms and pressed his lips firmly against hers. Momiji's eyes widened in shock. She felt a rush of emotion pass through her entire body, leaving her slightly light-headed. She had waited for this moment for so long.
Kusanagi finally broke the kiss and looked her directly in the eyes, his hands resting on her shoulders.
"I love you, Momiji."
"Kusanagi…"
Momiji threw herself into his arms. She had never been so happy in all her life. Not only did Kusanagi love her, but from now on, this forest would bring back the best of all memories.
Fin