AJ Matthews – Well, I think that Nirnaeth has been punished enough in his
life. Don't worry about Jessolothrad. He is a pretty tough kid.
LOTR lover – Welcome to FFnet! Fun story you wrote too!! And you are right. Elu has progressed nicely, but I am afraid he still has a way to go.
Nancing Elf - Nirnaeth may be detestable, but he hasn't had an easy time of it. And it probably wasn't easy for everyone to be so accepting of Elrond's command. Elu is not the only one in need of some Healing.
alliwantisanelfforchristmas – I love music, too. LOL I am in our church choir as well. Since we are a small church and our choir at the moment consists of three I also sing soprano though I am an alto. And again you have second-guessed me. Yes, Jessolothrad will play a part in Elu's Healing. Children tend to have a better outlook on situations than we do as adults. After all we don't have to be taught to love, but we do have to be taught to hate. Love Hershey's Chocolate Kisses! Send them any time!
Rings of the cosmos – I am glad that you think this is really good! I hope that it continues to be!
Ranger - We can often learn lessons from children. And yes, that is why Elu will remain an Orc. He needs to accept what he is (at least physically) as well as the others. I'm glad that this story makes you think! It has made me think as well. We need to learn that we cannot always just react to situations and people.
Jan – I see you agree that Elrond needed to remind our young Elf that he is not in charge in Imladris and you don't just brush Elrond off when he speaks to you. Well, the cruel ditch-fodder has been through a lot in his life and I thank you for not whacking him. And I have explained below why he was so cruel to Legolas. And you seem to know Jessolothrad very well in saying that he could sense something different about Elu. But be warned: Legolas may not be as over his hurt as you think!!
Shinigamio – Ooooo. Sorry, but guess again. I'm afraid that if Elu got into it with Nirnaeth (even though he wasn't very nice (to put it mildly)) Elrond would not look on either of them with favor and they would have to go. So Elu will have to control himself. And that is what it is all about, isn't it? Not giving in to our own Black Thoughts??
JastaElf – Glad you saw the light about Mr. Meanie! And yes, Jessolothrad has healed more than his father. The young are more resilient and can recover more quickly. Let us hope they can since a certain little golden bird was young when he was taken!!! Legolas is behaving more like himself, but he has some unresolved issues yet! And frankly, my dear, I am glad that Elu is not stationed at Dol Guldur with Leggy. It would kill him to see what was done to Leggy and any way your baddies would have killed and eaten my darling Orc. Remember?!!
evyllen – I think that everyone was ready to go after Nirnaeth in chap. 8, but now has a bit more understanding for him. And when I read you comment about wondering if people couldn't speak on Middle Earth, I wrote Eikenstan with you and your comment in mind! Also my reviewers never bore me!!
Ayod Botla – Sorry that I disappointed you so much, nin mell. But some things weren't meant to be. And I had thought about writing an alternate AU ending for this tale (if the tale ever ends!) about the Orc becoming Elf and if I do it will be dedicated to you!
Irena – I am very glad that you could spare some tears for poor Nirnaeth. And you are definitely correct when you say that Elu is a grey area. In the conversation below between Aragorn and Legolas (glad that Aragorn is himself in my fic!! And not the creature!! Though I admit that I have shed a few tears over him myself!) Legolas wonders where Elu will go if he cannot be cured of his Black Thoughts. Where would he be accepted? That little snippet belongs to you. Thank you, nin mellon. Btw – I hope the Vandal Root can be put to good use in Gondor! Did you know that frequent dosages may cause poisoning?!!
Horus – I'm glad you enjoyed the peaceful musical interlude with Elu and Jessolothrad. And I am glad that you understand why I must leave Elu an Orc. Please try to convince Ayod that I do know what is best for him! And I am working on a way to help him along. Trust me!
Very good to all of you who realized that Nirnaeth is indeed Jessolothrad's father!
Author's Note – Mahal is what the Dwarves call the Valar Aule, the one who created them.
Elu sat quietly staring into the cup of tea in his hands. He couldn't get the picture of Jessolothrad from his mind. A voiceless Elf… An Elf who couldn't sing. He couldn't help thinking about the beginning of the Elves – the Quendi as they called themselves: the speakers. They had lived happily by the water beneath the stars; and then they began to make speech, giving names to everything they saw. They had delighted in this gift. Their curiosity and thirst for knowledge was great and they were the ones who had taught the Ents to speak. They reveled in telling tales and singing songs - and that had been taken from the young one. Taken by the Orcs, Elu's horrible brothers.
: My kind did that.: he thought miserably. He glanced sideways to where Legolas was seated. His friend was sitting in a chair a few feet away, his blue eyes distant. They were alone in their room, neither one speaking. Elu thought about Legolas' own time in the hands of his brethren beneath Emyn Mor Esgal.
Legolas had been tied to the vile black stone Morn Sarn. Elu could still see the dread in his blue eyes as he called out to Elbereth to give him strength to endure what was to come. Gorgash had grabbed him by the hair and held a dagger to Legolas' throat.
"Never let me hear you speak that language again, dirty Elf!' He had hissed, drawing the dagger across the pale skin. He had thrust Legolas' head forward against the stone, blood splattering. "Next time I may cut out your tongue!"
Elu sighed unhappily, his mind going to what had happened in the garden after Nirnaeth had taken his son away. Jessolothrad had gazed back sadly at Elu, then he had waved slightly before disappearing into the darkness beyond. Lord Elrond had come into the garden then, with Legolas and Erestor. Elu bent to pick up the harp the child had left behind. He held the delicate instrument in his large hands, eyes taking in the carving on it: an Elf's beautiful face with his mouth open in the joy of singing. The strings looked like silver in the moonlight. He felt Legolas' hand on his shoulder, he turned to look into his friend's blue eyes. He saw the sorrow there that he knew was mirrored in his own.
"Don't judge him too harshly." Elrond had said quietly, his gaze still lingering in the direction that Nirnaeth had fled in, pulling a reluctant Jessolothrad behind him. "I will tell you why he is so – broken."
The story was one that both Legolas and Elu could empathize with. And as they listened they both were thinking of another Elf captured by Orcs, tormented and tortured in the darkness. But that Elf had suffered alone. Nirnaeth had not even the comfort of knowing that at least his family was not to endure the torments he suffered. They had been captured with him as they had traveled northward after a journey to Lorien. Nirnaeth's wife and two of his three children had not survived the cruelty of the roving band of Orcs that had found them near the Anduin River. His beloved Medlin died in his arms seeing their two older sons succumb to their wounds and despair after their rescue by Rangers. Nirnaeth and Jessolothrad had been nursed by these Rangers until they were able to travel and then brought them to Imladris for a deeper, emotional Healing. But Nirnaeth suffered still, his heart remaining untouched by any offer of help. He could not release his anger and hatred and it bound him as tightly as the ropes of the Orcs had when they had taken Jessolothrad's tongue.
Jessolothrad on the other hand was young and recovered more quickly. Though he was greatly grieved by the loss of his family and his voice, he didn't hold to his fear and hatred as his father had. The young are always more resilient. He had learned how to communicate with his hands, taught by a most unlikely teacher for a young Elf: a Dwarf that resided here in Imladris. Eikenstan had lost his hearing many years before in a mining accident beneath Moria and had amazingly refused to be Healed by Elrond.
"Perhaps Mahal wishes me to learn something that my hearing was hindering." He had said philosophically, with a smile that was nearly hidden by his bushy beard.
It had also been Eikenstan that had crafted Jessolothrad's harp and taught him how to play it. It had become the boy's voice.
Elu stared at Imladris' creator then glanced at Legolas.
"Lord Elrond, I understand now the pain that Nirnaeth suffers. But I – I don't understand why he spoke as he did to Legolas."
Legolas darted a glance at the Orc in surprise. It never ceased to amaze him how much Elu worried over him, putting Legolas' feelings and welfare above his own.
Elrond gazed at Mirkwood's prince.
"After they were brought here, Estel and I told him how Legolas had been captured and tormented as he had been. We suggested that he speak with him about it since he could understand Nirnaeth's feelings so well. Since he had refused to listen to me, though I lost my own Celebrian-" He paused only slightly, but the pain in his voice was still noticeable. "I thought that perhaps talking to someone with first hand experience might help him on his way to Healing. But he refused outright. I fear he thinks that he has been tainted – twisted – by what has happened to him. And when he saw Legolas he projected all the doubts he has about himself onto him."
Legolas nodded slightly, his eyes moving from Elrond's face to the ground. He had tried to put his experiences behind him and he had for the most part, but occasionally he still had nightmares about what had been done to him. And other darker fears still haunted him as well. He imagined those horrors inflicted on that small beautiful child. No, he could not truly blame Nirnaeth for his harsh words.
There was a knock at the door and Legolas shook himself as though rousing from sleep.
"Come in." He called, passing a hand over his face, to chase away his gloom filled thoughts.
The door opened and Aragorn entered. He was dressed in soft clothing of grey and black, the kind that he favored when here in Imladris. He smiled slightly seeing that both of his friends were here.
"I am sorry that I haven't had much time to spend with you." He said, dropping comfortably into another chair across from Legolas.
Legolas smiled over at the Ranger, then at Elu.
"We understand, Aragorn. Lord Elrond's daughter is quite charming."
Aragorn's face flushed slightly and he smiled, taking the cup of tea that Elu offered him. He could see the quiet unease that existed between the two and he knew the cause.
"So." He said, sipping the tea and setting it on the small table at his side. "I understand that you have met Jessolothrad."
Elu looked over at him.
"Why wasn't he afraid of me, Dunadan?" He asked, leaning forward intently. "I forgot to ask that of Lord Elrond earlier. After all that he has suffered, why didn't Jessolothrad fear me?"
"Well, Jessolothrad knows that Elrond would never allow anyone with evil intentions to enter Imladris. And I guess that he sensed no evil in you. You know how these Elves are with their feelings." He grinned over at Legolas, who smiled only slightly. Aragorn knew that his friend was troubled by the events of this evening and he wished he could find some way to comfort him. And he had seen the furtive glance in Elu's direction when he had mention "anyone with evil intentions". He had often wondered what had transpired in Mirkwood those few months ago when he knew that Legolas had been in great danger. Some tales were yet to be told.
Elu frowned at Aragorn's last statement. : How could that be: he wondered, frowning into his teacup. : My Black Thoughts are evil. Surely he should have sensed them: He shook his head. He looked over at Aragorn who was studying Legolas' face, which was averted. Elu had seen that slightly haunted look on the Elf's face before. And he feared he knew the cause. He sighed and stood.
"I am going to go see how Bilbo's nephew is faring." He announced, hoping that Legolas would speak to Aragorn if he left them alone. Aragorn nodded and smiled over at him, seeing the yearning in the Orc's face as his eyes lit on Legolas.
"I know that Elrond appreciates your helping him, during the Healing." He said quietly.
Elu felt his face flush. He shrugged.
"I don't do much, Dunadan." He hurried from the room and out into the cool night air.
Aragorn turned to Legolas.
"Alright, my friend. It is time we spoke of what happened this summer."
Legolas raised his eyes to meet the Rangers.
"A lot has happened since I saw you last, Estel." He said quietly, his eyes straying to the door. Slowly he turned back to Aragorn. When he began to speak, his voice was hesitant, his gaze falling to the floor.
"Elu…Elu spent many years in Dol Guldur. He – they – changed him, Estel. It was as we feared." He admitted looking up. "I think that I hoped he had died under their torment. But it was not to be." He sighed, his gaze on his hands, which had clasped together tightly. "Aragorn, he – he tried to kill me. That is what you felt."
Aragorn frowned in sympathy, one hand moving to rest on Legolas' knee.
"I am sorry, Legolas. I know that is what you feared. That…that must have been horrible."
Legolas drew a breath. : Why does this still trouble me? I know that he would never harm me now. Except…except when his Black Thoughts come on him.:
Elu had told him when he had been taken by his Thoughts in the Misty Mountains that he must stay away.
"If you come too near me I will hurt you." He had said. But more than the words it had been the look in the Orc's eyes that had frightened him. After Elu had fled from him, Legolas had managed to force the fear that had assailed him into the back of his mind. But when he had seen the flash of it this very night, all his fears had come back again.
"What if Lord Elrond can't heal him?" He asked Aragorn. "What if it is not possible? I don't know what will become of him, Estel. Where could he go? He could never go to live as an Orc again. But…but I don't know if he could stay with us either. I don't know if he would."
"How often does he have these episodes?"
"Not often. But he cannot predict when they will strike." Legolas remembered something that the Orc had said that first night here in Imladris. He had thought that Legolas was sleeping or he would never have uttered the words. The Black Thoughts were troubling to the Orc and preyed on his mind. The Elf had lain still, keeping his eyes slightly unfocused; hoping that this outpouring of feeling would help ease Elu's own fears somewhat. But then he had said something that had chilled the Elf prince's blood.
"It would be you, Legolas Elvellon. It would be you that I would hurt the most." He had whispered. "When the Black Thoughts are on me it is you that I hate. Only because I love you best. Everyone is in danger from me, but you most of all. I would do horrible things to you. I fear that I would kill you."
Legolas moved one hand to touch his chest where Morn Gothfeng had struck him.
"You are afraid of him, aren't you?" Aragorn asked quietly, seeing Legolas' face pale.
"Not always…I don't want him to know, Estel." He said earnestly. "Please don't tell him. I don't want him to know how I feel."
The Ranger's brows knit, but he nodded, placing his hand over the Elf's.
"I won't tell him. Do not worry. I am sure that Elrond will be able to help him." But even as Aragorn reassured him, he wondered. With Frodo injured by the Morgul blade and the Ring here at Imladris, Elrond was going to have his hands filled with other matters. "All will be well, Legolas. Come why don't we go and listen to the singing. I will try to persuade Bilbo to join us."
Legolas sighed. He did not feel in the mood for singing or story telling that night. Not even the chance to speak with Bilbo after so many years could pull him from his mood. He felt suddenly weary, but he nodded.
"I will join you, Estel."
Aragorn stood and clasped the other's shoulder.
"I'll wait for you at Elrond's room." He turned and left, leaving Legolas standing alone.
Mirkwood's Prince waited until the footsteps outside died away, then he moved silently across the room to where Elu kept his things. Glancing nervously at the door, he knelt and pulled Elu's pack from the beneath the bed. All of their weapons had been taken away on the day of their arrival, but Legolas feared that something had been missed. He knelt and rummaged through the pack. Just as relief was beginning to build in him – he nearly laughed at his foolishness – he felt it. His fingers curled around the smooth wood and slowly he drew it out. It was as he had feared. Morn Gothfeng – the Black Arrow - lay in his hand, the dark wood gleaming in the dim light. His fingers traced the name carved in it: Legolas Greenleaf. His hands trembled slightly.
"Why did you keep this, Elu?" He whispered, his eyes wide. "Why?"
LOTR lover – Welcome to FFnet! Fun story you wrote too!! And you are right. Elu has progressed nicely, but I am afraid he still has a way to go.
Nancing Elf - Nirnaeth may be detestable, but he hasn't had an easy time of it. And it probably wasn't easy for everyone to be so accepting of Elrond's command. Elu is not the only one in need of some Healing.
alliwantisanelfforchristmas – I love music, too. LOL I am in our church choir as well. Since we are a small church and our choir at the moment consists of three I also sing soprano though I am an alto. And again you have second-guessed me. Yes, Jessolothrad will play a part in Elu's Healing. Children tend to have a better outlook on situations than we do as adults. After all we don't have to be taught to love, but we do have to be taught to hate. Love Hershey's Chocolate Kisses! Send them any time!
Rings of the cosmos – I am glad that you think this is really good! I hope that it continues to be!
Ranger - We can often learn lessons from children. And yes, that is why Elu will remain an Orc. He needs to accept what he is (at least physically) as well as the others. I'm glad that this story makes you think! It has made me think as well. We need to learn that we cannot always just react to situations and people.
Jan – I see you agree that Elrond needed to remind our young Elf that he is not in charge in Imladris and you don't just brush Elrond off when he speaks to you. Well, the cruel ditch-fodder has been through a lot in his life and I thank you for not whacking him. And I have explained below why he was so cruel to Legolas. And you seem to know Jessolothrad very well in saying that he could sense something different about Elu. But be warned: Legolas may not be as over his hurt as you think!!
Shinigamio – Ooooo. Sorry, but guess again. I'm afraid that if Elu got into it with Nirnaeth (even though he wasn't very nice (to put it mildly)) Elrond would not look on either of them with favor and they would have to go. So Elu will have to control himself. And that is what it is all about, isn't it? Not giving in to our own Black Thoughts??
JastaElf – Glad you saw the light about Mr. Meanie! And yes, Jessolothrad has healed more than his father. The young are more resilient and can recover more quickly. Let us hope they can since a certain little golden bird was young when he was taken!!! Legolas is behaving more like himself, but he has some unresolved issues yet! And frankly, my dear, I am glad that Elu is not stationed at Dol Guldur with Leggy. It would kill him to see what was done to Leggy and any way your baddies would have killed and eaten my darling Orc. Remember?!!
evyllen – I think that everyone was ready to go after Nirnaeth in chap. 8, but now has a bit more understanding for him. And when I read you comment about wondering if people couldn't speak on Middle Earth, I wrote Eikenstan with you and your comment in mind! Also my reviewers never bore me!!
Ayod Botla – Sorry that I disappointed you so much, nin mell. But some things weren't meant to be. And I had thought about writing an alternate AU ending for this tale (if the tale ever ends!) about the Orc becoming Elf and if I do it will be dedicated to you!
Irena – I am very glad that you could spare some tears for poor Nirnaeth. And you are definitely correct when you say that Elu is a grey area. In the conversation below between Aragorn and Legolas (glad that Aragorn is himself in my fic!! And not the creature!! Though I admit that I have shed a few tears over him myself!) Legolas wonders where Elu will go if he cannot be cured of his Black Thoughts. Where would he be accepted? That little snippet belongs to you. Thank you, nin mellon. Btw – I hope the Vandal Root can be put to good use in Gondor! Did you know that frequent dosages may cause poisoning?!!
Horus – I'm glad you enjoyed the peaceful musical interlude with Elu and Jessolothrad. And I am glad that you understand why I must leave Elu an Orc. Please try to convince Ayod that I do know what is best for him! And I am working on a way to help him along. Trust me!
Very good to all of you who realized that Nirnaeth is indeed Jessolothrad's father!
Author's Note – Mahal is what the Dwarves call the Valar Aule, the one who created them.
Elu sat quietly staring into the cup of tea in his hands. He couldn't get the picture of Jessolothrad from his mind. A voiceless Elf… An Elf who couldn't sing. He couldn't help thinking about the beginning of the Elves – the Quendi as they called themselves: the speakers. They had lived happily by the water beneath the stars; and then they began to make speech, giving names to everything they saw. They had delighted in this gift. Their curiosity and thirst for knowledge was great and they were the ones who had taught the Ents to speak. They reveled in telling tales and singing songs - and that had been taken from the young one. Taken by the Orcs, Elu's horrible brothers.
: My kind did that.: he thought miserably. He glanced sideways to where Legolas was seated. His friend was sitting in a chair a few feet away, his blue eyes distant. They were alone in their room, neither one speaking. Elu thought about Legolas' own time in the hands of his brethren beneath Emyn Mor Esgal.
Legolas had been tied to the vile black stone Morn Sarn. Elu could still see the dread in his blue eyes as he called out to Elbereth to give him strength to endure what was to come. Gorgash had grabbed him by the hair and held a dagger to Legolas' throat.
"Never let me hear you speak that language again, dirty Elf!' He had hissed, drawing the dagger across the pale skin. He had thrust Legolas' head forward against the stone, blood splattering. "Next time I may cut out your tongue!"
Elu sighed unhappily, his mind going to what had happened in the garden after Nirnaeth had taken his son away. Jessolothrad had gazed back sadly at Elu, then he had waved slightly before disappearing into the darkness beyond. Lord Elrond had come into the garden then, with Legolas and Erestor. Elu bent to pick up the harp the child had left behind. He held the delicate instrument in his large hands, eyes taking in the carving on it: an Elf's beautiful face with his mouth open in the joy of singing. The strings looked like silver in the moonlight. He felt Legolas' hand on his shoulder, he turned to look into his friend's blue eyes. He saw the sorrow there that he knew was mirrored in his own.
"Don't judge him too harshly." Elrond had said quietly, his gaze still lingering in the direction that Nirnaeth had fled in, pulling a reluctant Jessolothrad behind him. "I will tell you why he is so – broken."
The story was one that both Legolas and Elu could empathize with. And as they listened they both were thinking of another Elf captured by Orcs, tormented and tortured in the darkness. But that Elf had suffered alone. Nirnaeth had not even the comfort of knowing that at least his family was not to endure the torments he suffered. They had been captured with him as they had traveled northward after a journey to Lorien. Nirnaeth's wife and two of his three children had not survived the cruelty of the roving band of Orcs that had found them near the Anduin River. His beloved Medlin died in his arms seeing their two older sons succumb to their wounds and despair after their rescue by Rangers. Nirnaeth and Jessolothrad had been nursed by these Rangers until they were able to travel and then brought them to Imladris for a deeper, emotional Healing. But Nirnaeth suffered still, his heart remaining untouched by any offer of help. He could not release his anger and hatred and it bound him as tightly as the ropes of the Orcs had when they had taken Jessolothrad's tongue.
Jessolothrad on the other hand was young and recovered more quickly. Though he was greatly grieved by the loss of his family and his voice, he didn't hold to his fear and hatred as his father had. The young are always more resilient. He had learned how to communicate with his hands, taught by a most unlikely teacher for a young Elf: a Dwarf that resided here in Imladris. Eikenstan had lost his hearing many years before in a mining accident beneath Moria and had amazingly refused to be Healed by Elrond.
"Perhaps Mahal wishes me to learn something that my hearing was hindering." He had said philosophically, with a smile that was nearly hidden by his bushy beard.
It had also been Eikenstan that had crafted Jessolothrad's harp and taught him how to play it. It had become the boy's voice.
Elu stared at Imladris' creator then glanced at Legolas.
"Lord Elrond, I understand now the pain that Nirnaeth suffers. But I – I don't understand why he spoke as he did to Legolas."
Legolas darted a glance at the Orc in surprise. It never ceased to amaze him how much Elu worried over him, putting Legolas' feelings and welfare above his own.
Elrond gazed at Mirkwood's prince.
"After they were brought here, Estel and I told him how Legolas had been captured and tormented as he had been. We suggested that he speak with him about it since he could understand Nirnaeth's feelings so well. Since he had refused to listen to me, though I lost my own Celebrian-" He paused only slightly, but the pain in his voice was still noticeable. "I thought that perhaps talking to someone with first hand experience might help him on his way to Healing. But he refused outright. I fear he thinks that he has been tainted – twisted – by what has happened to him. And when he saw Legolas he projected all the doubts he has about himself onto him."
Legolas nodded slightly, his eyes moving from Elrond's face to the ground. He had tried to put his experiences behind him and he had for the most part, but occasionally he still had nightmares about what had been done to him. And other darker fears still haunted him as well. He imagined those horrors inflicted on that small beautiful child. No, he could not truly blame Nirnaeth for his harsh words.
There was a knock at the door and Legolas shook himself as though rousing from sleep.
"Come in." He called, passing a hand over his face, to chase away his gloom filled thoughts.
The door opened and Aragorn entered. He was dressed in soft clothing of grey and black, the kind that he favored when here in Imladris. He smiled slightly seeing that both of his friends were here.
"I am sorry that I haven't had much time to spend with you." He said, dropping comfortably into another chair across from Legolas.
Legolas smiled over at the Ranger, then at Elu.
"We understand, Aragorn. Lord Elrond's daughter is quite charming."
Aragorn's face flushed slightly and he smiled, taking the cup of tea that Elu offered him. He could see the quiet unease that existed between the two and he knew the cause.
"So." He said, sipping the tea and setting it on the small table at his side. "I understand that you have met Jessolothrad."
Elu looked over at him.
"Why wasn't he afraid of me, Dunadan?" He asked, leaning forward intently. "I forgot to ask that of Lord Elrond earlier. After all that he has suffered, why didn't Jessolothrad fear me?"
"Well, Jessolothrad knows that Elrond would never allow anyone with evil intentions to enter Imladris. And I guess that he sensed no evil in you. You know how these Elves are with their feelings." He grinned over at Legolas, who smiled only slightly. Aragorn knew that his friend was troubled by the events of this evening and he wished he could find some way to comfort him. And he had seen the furtive glance in Elu's direction when he had mention "anyone with evil intentions". He had often wondered what had transpired in Mirkwood those few months ago when he knew that Legolas had been in great danger. Some tales were yet to be told.
Elu frowned at Aragorn's last statement. : How could that be: he wondered, frowning into his teacup. : My Black Thoughts are evil. Surely he should have sensed them: He shook his head. He looked over at Aragorn who was studying Legolas' face, which was averted. Elu had seen that slightly haunted look on the Elf's face before. And he feared he knew the cause. He sighed and stood.
"I am going to go see how Bilbo's nephew is faring." He announced, hoping that Legolas would speak to Aragorn if he left them alone. Aragorn nodded and smiled over at him, seeing the yearning in the Orc's face as his eyes lit on Legolas.
"I know that Elrond appreciates your helping him, during the Healing." He said quietly.
Elu felt his face flush. He shrugged.
"I don't do much, Dunadan." He hurried from the room and out into the cool night air.
Aragorn turned to Legolas.
"Alright, my friend. It is time we spoke of what happened this summer."
Legolas raised his eyes to meet the Rangers.
"A lot has happened since I saw you last, Estel." He said quietly, his eyes straying to the door. Slowly he turned back to Aragorn. When he began to speak, his voice was hesitant, his gaze falling to the floor.
"Elu…Elu spent many years in Dol Guldur. He – they – changed him, Estel. It was as we feared." He admitted looking up. "I think that I hoped he had died under their torment. But it was not to be." He sighed, his gaze on his hands, which had clasped together tightly. "Aragorn, he – he tried to kill me. That is what you felt."
Aragorn frowned in sympathy, one hand moving to rest on Legolas' knee.
"I am sorry, Legolas. I know that is what you feared. That…that must have been horrible."
Legolas drew a breath. : Why does this still trouble me? I know that he would never harm me now. Except…except when his Black Thoughts come on him.:
Elu had told him when he had been taken by his Thoughts in the Misty Mountains that he must stay away.
"If you come too near me I will hurt you." He had said. But more than the words it had been the look in the Orc's eyes that had frightened him. After Elu had fled from him, Legolas had managed to force the fear that had assailed him into the back of his mind. But when he had seen the flash of it this very night, all his fears had come back again.
"What if Lord Elrond can't heal him?" He asked Aragorn. "What if it is not possible? I don't know what will become of him, Estel. Where could he go? He could never go to live as an Orc again. But…but I don't know if he could stay with us either. I don't know if he would."
"How often does he have these episodes?"
"Not often. But he cannot predict when they will strike." Legolas remembered something that the Orc had said that first night here in Imladris. He had thought that Legolas was sleeping or he would never have uttered the words. The Black Thoughts were troubling to the Orc and preyed on his mind. The Elf had lain still, keeping his eyes slightly unfocused; hoping that this outpouring of feeling would help ease Elu's own fears somewhat. But then he had said something that had chilled the Elf prince's blood.
"It would be you, Legolas Elvellon. It would be you that I would hurt the most." He had whispered. "When the Black Thoughts are on me it is you that I hate. Only because I love you best. Everyone is in danger from me, but you most of all. I would do horrible things to you. I fear that I would kill you."
Legolas moved one hand to touch his chest where Morn Gothfeng had struck him.
"You are afraid of him, aren't you?" Aragorn asked quietly, seeing Legolas' face pale.
"Not always…I don't want him to know, Estel." He said earnestly. "Please don't tell him. I don't want him to know how I feel."
The Ranger's brows knit, but he nodded, placing his hand over the Elf's.
"I won't tell him. Do not worry. I am sure that Elrond will be able to help him." But even as Aragorn reassured him, he wondered. With Frodo injured by the Morgul blade and the Ring here at Imladris, Elrond was going to have his hands filled with other matters. "All will be well, Legolas. Come why don't we go and listen to the singing. I will try to persuade Bilbo to join us."
Legolas sighed. He did not feel in the mood for singing or story telling that night. Not even the chance to speak with Bilbo after so many years could pull him from his mood. He felt suddenly weary, but he nodded.
"I will join you, Estel."
Aragorn stood and clasped the other's shoulder.
"I'll wait for you at Elrond's room." He turned and left, leaving Legolas standing alone.
Mirkwood's Prince waited until the footsteps outside died away, then he moved silently across the room to where Elu kept his things. Glancing nervously at the door, he knelt and pulled Elu's pack from the beneath the bed. All of their weapons had been taken away on the day of their arrival, but Legolas feared that something had been missed. He knelt and rummaged through the pack. Just as relief was beginning to build in him – he nearly laughed at his foolishness – he felt it. His fingers curled around the smooth wood and slowly he drew it out. It was as he had feared. Morn Gothfeng – the Black Arrow - lay in his hand, the dark wood gleaming in the dim light. His fingers traced the name carved in it: Legolas Greenleaf. His hands trembled slightly.
"Why did you keep this, Elu?" He whispered, his eyes wide. "Why?"