Ranger – I wish that all solutions were as easy as letting the sun wash all
the darkness away! Even if it is not the whole cure it is a part of the
cure! I am glad that you have become attached to Elu. Actually it took me
awhile to get attached to him. I really don't like Orcs! Believe it or
not! As for Legolas, well, Aragorn is slowly dragging it from him. Arwen
with a shovel is pretty scary, isn't it?!!
JastaElf – Nothing too bad happens here. No "Black Arrow" chapter. Not yet. It is hard dragging them back into the dark. And Aragorn hasn't gotten the whole story yet. He is working on it, but Legolas has lots of issues I am afraid. One at a time here. Elu
* hearts * you, too. And Nirnaeth will be back at some point. Much plot and storylines juggling going on in this house!
evyllen - Legolas is not over what happened, not by a long shot. It was rushed and everyone just kind of ignored it ( which is something that I do at times, when I don't want to think about unpleasantness), but it has not gone away. Jess is up for a bit in this chapter and Nirnaeth will be on later. As will Eikenstan. Things are just getting started with this one I think instead of ending as mine usually are by the time I reach chap. 12. For the story of the shovel please read alliwantisanelfforchristmas' review for chapter 6 of this fic. She and JastaElf had both mentioned shovels with Arwen and Glorfindel. It was really funny and neat so I used it. It has to do with the movie usurpation of Asfaloth.
Nancing Elf – Sorry to keep you hanging there. It has begun in this chapter. Yes, begun but not finished. And you are correct in assuming that Nirnaeth will be back. His story is not all told. Many – many - things are building here ( a bit overwhelming at times, too!) I liked Lindir, too, and so you may expect him to pop up somewhere sometime.
alliwantisanelfforchristmas – I guess it's time to start the "I * heart * Elu" club. He can't believe all the affection you guys have for him – a mere Orc. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts, because, alas, all good things must come to an end. (ominous music borrowed from JastaElf) For the present the Black Arrow is still hiding under the bed. Legolas has enough to worry about with Aragorn right now.
() - Hi hi! I am glad that you enjoyed that last chapter. And you were correct in assuming that the vile Orc potion was not a good thing. I think that Elrond must have a light-hearted side or he would go crazy. And I really like him, so I like to see him loosen up occasionally. And no, Legolas would never forsake his friendship with Elu. They have been through too much together to abandon what they have because they have hit another bump in the road. But , yes, Legolas is still afraid of Elu. Who wouldn't be?
As for my gearing up, I am exactly like you. To get into the emotions that a character is feeling you do have to feel that emotion at some level or you can't relate to what you are writing and it will feel false and forced. That is also why the angst is coming with humor and in pieces instead of the whole thing in one great glut of pain!! One moment of sorrow at a time.
Ayod Botla - Sunshine is wonderful!!! Enjoy it while you can!!
Horus – Yeah, Elu is all happy…and stuff…Glad that you are okay now!
Irena – Arwen and shovels just seem to be a funny combination around here for some reason, don't they.
Salak – Thanks for keeping up the dance! It has been a long, glorious one!
LOTR lover – Elrond deserves some chocolate and tea fro that one. And a dance. Yeah, that pesky Black Arrow is still around. It may indeed cause problems yet. And you are right that there would need to be some 'splaining to do, Lucy – er – Elu if Elrond and Gandalf found out!
Author's Note – Bilbo's song is indeed Bilbo's song and therefore Master Tolkien's. It is not mine. * sigh *
Also the red handkerchief is not mine either. It is also the Master's. * sigh *
Elu heard a voice ahead, a single voice that seemed to be having a conversation with itself. The Orc smiled and looked down at Arwen.
"That is Bilbo." He announced happily.
"Yes. That is indeed Bilbo. Now go and enjoy your morning, Elu Heneb." She said, stroking his cheek and then turning and moving silently away.
The Orc still marveled at how quietly the Elves could walk, almost as if their feet didn't touch the ground. The Orc walked as softly as he could into the garden, which was surrounded with losscoron bushes (snowball /viburnum bushes), the heavy white balls of blossoms swaying in the light morning breeze.
The old Hobbit was seated on a bench with his back to Elu, his walking stick propped beside him, a warm shawl wrapped about his shoulders. He was speaking to a child seated on a plump cushion of blue velvet at the Hobbit's furry feet. The child's slender hands flowed in rapid, fluid movements as he "spoke" to the Hobbit.
"Yes, Jess, I do remember that song, I wrote it after all. I am surprised that they still sing it here. That was quite some time ago. I'm sure they only sing it to amuse me. They are very good about that. What? Blue-eyed? What do you mean, my boy? Huh?" Bilbo turned to see what the child was pointing at with such a big grin on his face. "Oh! Elu! Do join us, why don't you. Come. Come. You may sit with me here, unless your bones are tough enough to sit on the ground with Jess. Mine no longer are. Jess is telling you good morning."
Elu smiled down at the boy.
"Good morning, Jessolothrad." He said, trying to mimic the hand motion the boy made.
"Oh, just call him Jess why don't you. Jessolothrad is such a mouthful. These Elvish names are beautiful and all, but they can really tie your tongue in knots. Now Elu is a wonderful name. Short and easily said. Don't have to spend any time thinking about how to pronounce it."
Jess gestured at Elu again, making motions about his head.
"He asks why your hood is down in the sunlight. He says the Orcs don't like the sun."
"Oh, let me tell you what Lord Elrond did for me." He plopped onto the ground to Bilbo's left and Jess's right and launched into praise of Rivendell's lord.
Bilbo smiled watching him with delight. The Orc seemed as young as Jess sitting there in the grass the words flowing as freely as if from a Master Storyteller.
"What is he saying?" Elu asked as Jess motioned again.
"He says that he loves the sun, too. And that he is glad that Lord Elrond has helped you."
"I wish that I could understand what he is saying." Elu murmured wistfully.
"Well, you can learn to, you know. He and old Eikenstan taught me. Eikenstan is a Dwarf. I really am rather fond of Dwarves, you know."
Elu smiled a little lopsidedly.
"Legolas Elvellon isn't."
"Who? Oh, Legolas. Well, no I guess that hasn't changed. He really is rather a nice fellow though. Did I ever tell you how we met? No? Well, I will have to tell you that tale sometime. We had quite an adventure really. I really wasn't certain if it was him at first, he has grown up a bit himself."
"I would love to hear it."
Bilbo had seen the look of great love whenever he spoke of his Elf friend. He smiled.
"And some day soon you shall. But I think that little Jess here would like to sing something. He has been at me all morning."
Jess nodded enthusiastically, grabbing Elu's sleeve and making the motion for sing then clasping his hands together and shaking them imploringly, the blue eyes pleading.
Elu laughed and dared to touch the child's bright hair. He was amazed that Jess didn't flinch away but reached up to touch the raven dark hair that brushed the Orc's shoulders.
"Now, how can you refuse such a one." Bilbo laughed watching the two's interaction with interest. "He is such a charming child that no one can deny him anything. Shall we teach Elu my song, Jess?"
The boy nodded and reached for the case that rested behind him. He eased the harp out and quickly tuned it.
"Being from Mirkwood as you are Elu, perhaps you'd rather learn my Spider song." The Hobbit winked at Jess and then grinned at the Orc.
"You made a song about the Spiders?"
"Of course. Well, actually I sang it to the Spiders. It wasn't very good perhaps, but I was stinging all the Spiders I could." Again he laughed at some private joke that Jess obviously shared, for the boy clapped his hands, lay the harp down and jumped to his feet. His face became serious and he drew an imaginary sword. He mimed creeping through the wood, and then slashed about him fiercely. He pretended to sing at the imaginary Spiders of Mirkwood. He made a few more swipes with his sword then he stood proudly, the sword held aloft in triumph. Then he dropped back beside Elu, his eyes bright with mirth. The Orc laughed, wishing that he knew the story.
"I will loan you my book, Elu." Bilbo said. "I've written it all down. Rather vain of me I guess, but it was a grand adventure."
Elu nodded. Perhaps he should write down some of his adventures. But then he frowned. Not all of them. Some were too painful to put into words. Luckily before he could think that through any further, Jess picked up his harp and began to play. It was a quaint melody with something of sadness in it. And then Bilbo began to sing in his slightly quavering voice:
"Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea:
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June.
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Road go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known."
Elu stared at Bilbo, his mouth agape.
"You wrote that?"
"Yes. I know that it is not very good perhaps. I wrote it a long time ago when I was returning home from my adventure with the Dwarves. Home." He sighed wistfully. "I guess I will never see Bag End again." He smiled down sadly at the Orc and young Elf. "But that was my choice."
"That is a beautiful song."
"Well, thank you, Elu. I am rather fond of it myself. The Elves here sing it occasionally, though I think it is more to amuse me than any thing else. It is rather a short song and they prefer longer ones. Much longer. Just like their names." He rolled his eyes expressively. "I am working on something longer. It should be ready soon I hope. Now – Let us sing one of yours Elu. The Elves here seem to like them. I am certain that they never thought they would be singing a song written by an Orc." He chuckled.
Jessolothrad glanced up at Elu waiting expectantly. The Orc smiled, looking at the young Elf and the old Hobbit and laughed.
The three unusual comrades spent the morning singing and talking, laughing and merely enjoying each other's company. Above them the sun sailed across the autumn sky unaware of the dark clouds that awaited on the horizon.
Legolas stood, leaning against the trunk of a maple tree, its leaves brilliant crimson splashed with gold. He watched as Aragorn sat comfortably on a bench across from him, his back straight, blue eyes watching the Elf intently. A smile touched Legolas' lips.
: You look very much like a king this morning, Estel. : He thought, noting how the clothing he wore fit him quite well and how much more they seemed to suit him than his usual Ranger garb. : Unfortunately, my liege, you have an unwilling subject this morning who does not want this conversation to take place. :
Aragorn sighed slightly. This was not going to be easy. He could read all the signs of reluctance and resistance in the Elf's blue eyes, regardless of how that Elf tried to hide it.
: He will try to make light of this, laugh it away as ridiculous and unnecessary. But he is hurting and afraid. I can feel it. :
Legolas drew a breath, his eyes bright. But before a word could fall from his lips Aragorn shook his head.
"No, Legolas. I am not in the mood for any Elvish word games. We are not here to play." The man felt a slight satisfaction when the Elf's practiced insouciant fell away. "I know this will not be easy for you, but Legolas you cannot do this to yourself. You cannot keep your pain bottled up for ever. Please let me help you."
Legolas' eyes grew anguished and then he looked away, suddenly finding it hard to breath.
: I cannot do this! I cannot take this! It will break me to speak of it. Please, Estel, do not do this to me. : But he spoke no words, fearing that his voice would betray him.
Then he felt a gentle touch on his hair. He looked up, startled, caught off guard. He found himself staring into the Ranger's compassionate blue eyes. He swallowed back what he dreaded were sobs.
Aragorn could feel him shaking, fighting with a determined ferocity against the pent up emotions that were tearing at him. He gently stroked the too pale cheek, watching as the Elf's bottom lip trembled slightly. Distress filled the blue eyes, the battle overwhelming him.
"It is alright, Legolas. I am here for you."
Tears spilled over his cheeks. Part of him wanted to run as far from Aragorn as possible, to hide in a small dark corner screaming, where no one would hear him or discover him. And part of him wanted to collapse into the Ranger's strong arms and cry until he had no more tears, until the grief and the fear and the pain were washed away forever.
Why was it so hard to give in, he wondered. Why couldn't he just tell Aragorn what he wanted to know? Why did he have to constantly fight what he felt inside? Why did it have to be hidden from everyone? Even from himself.
"Non gruithant, Estel. Im alcar henia an car." [I am terrified, Estel. I don't know (what) to do."] The words were barely comprehensible. The torment that lived in Legolas' eyes at that moment stunned the Ranger. "I naeg na beleg. Im achas ha ath dag enni im leithian ha!" [The pain is (too) great. I fear it will slay me if I release it!]
Aragorn could think of no words to comfort his friend. Now when he needed them, words would not form in his mind. So he gathered the trembling Elf into his arms, stroking his hair and his back, making soft noises that were more sounds than words as though he were comforting a small child awakened in the dark by a nightmare.
"I have never mourned for them." Legolas moaned, trying to keep the sobs buried deep inside.
"For who, Legolas?"
"For Tanglinna, Meren and – and Brethil." The last name ended in a moan of such anguish that Aragorn's arms tightened instinctively.
The man felt his own grief well within him. He had not known Meren well, but he had known Tanglinna and Brethil. And now they were gone.
"It is alright, Legolas. You may mourn them now." Tears burned in the Ranger's eyes. "We will mourn them together."
Legolas body was wracked with pain as he tried to keep the sobs back, but it was too late. The grief was too great – and had been denied for too long. Aragorn held him as the cries were wrenched from him. Words in broken Elvish reached his ears. Most often he could make out the words "I am sorry." The Ranger gently rocked him back and forth caressing the long hair, holding him close. At last the sobs began to die away and Legolas stood quietly in the Ranger's embrace, his face pressed against the other's shoulder.
At last he pulled away, his face red and damp, the outpouring leaving him feeling exhausted.
"I am sorry, Estel. I shouldn't have – "
"Yes. You should have." The man dug into a pocket and pulled forth a red silk handkerchief.
Legolas raised one dark eyebrow and took it from him.
"Red, Estel?"
Aragorn laughed slightly.
"It's not mine actually. It is Elrond's. He told me I might have a use for it before the day was over."
Legolas snorted slightly and wiped his eyes.
"For some reason I never pictured Lord Elrond with red handkerchiefs."
"No. He can be quite surprising at times."
Legolas started to hand it back to him, but the Ranger held up one hand with a smile.
"Keep it. I suspect that Elrond knew you would end up with it."
Legolas smiled back, a very tired, melancholy smile and put the handkerchief in his pocket.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the two. Legolas turned his head to one side, suddenly very interested in the variety of grass that grew beneath his feet. Aragorn knew the battle wasn't over, aye, it had barely started, and Legolas was not the only one who had been wearied by the first combat. And if Aragorn guessed correctly this next one would be much harder on them both.
: I could have spent this glorious day with Arwen, being diverted by much more pleasant things that this. : He thought with a tight smile. : Instead I am standing here waiting for Legolas to flee which he will try to do and then I will have to stop him and bring on more pain. : He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"Shall we sit for this next one?" He offered, gesturing toward the bench.
All the wariness returned to his friend's blue eyes.
"What next one?"
Aragorn narrowed his eyes.
"Legolas, if I believed that the only thing troubling you was – was the death of your friends then I would gladly leave you in peace. But I know that there is much more to this problem than that. I am relieved that you have grieved for them, and that part of you can heal now. But that is not the only pain you suffer."
More tears burned in his eyes. How could there be more? He turned his head to one side, the weariness seeming to crush him. Why couldn't Aragorn just leave him alone? He sighed, fingers plucking at his pocket, wishing that he need never use the red handkerchief again, yet knowing that it would be drenched before the day's end. He nodded.
"Very well."
They both moved to the bench and sank onto its cool hardness. Aragorn felt a flash of sympathy for the Elf, seeing him sitting in a slumped position. He had never seen Legolas anything but alert – very aware of everything about him. But now all of his vitality seemed sapped, he doubted that he even felt the single tear that slid silently down his face to drip from his chin. He raised his eyes to the Ranger, who was alarmed to see how hollow and empty they seemed. He looked so defeated in that moment that Aragorn wondered if they should continue. But then Legolas spoke, his voice low and controlled.
"Where do you want me to start?"
Yeah. I didn't finish this yet. I am working on it. My computer was very screwy yesterday and I am not very happy with it. Especially since it lost part of this chapter and I am not always good at remembering what I wrote. I am not sure that Word will cooperate with me when I try to post it. If it doesn't you will hear me screaming in Sindarin as I throw it out the window!! Just kidding…I hope!
JastaElf – Nothing too bad happens here. No "Black Arrow" chapter. Not yet. It is hard dragging them back into the dark. And Aragorn hasn't gotten the whole story yet. He is working on it, but Legolas has lots of issues I am afraid. One at a time here. Elu
* hearts * you, too. And Nirnaeth will be back at some point. Much plot and storylines juggling going on in this house!
evyllen - Legolas is not over what happened, not by a long shot. It was rushed and everyone just kind of ignored it ( which is something that I do at times, when I don't want to think about unpleasantness), but it has not gone away. Jess is up for a bit in this chapter and Nirnaeth will be on later. As will Eikenstan. Things are just getting started with this one I think instead of ending as mine usually are by the time I reach chap. 12. For the story of the shovel please read alliwantisanelfforchristmas' review for chapter 6 of this fic. She and JastaElf had both mentioned shovels with Arwen and Glorfindel. It was really funny and neat so I used it. It has to do with the movie usurpation of Asfaloth.
Nancing Elf – Sorry to keep you hanging there. It has begun in this chapter. Yes, begun but not finished. And you are correct in assuming that Nirnaeth will be back. His story is not all told. Many – many - things are building here ( a bit overwhelming at times, too!) I liked Lindir, too, and so you may expect him to pop up somewhere sometime.
alliwantisanelfforchristmas – I guess it's time to start the "I * heart * Elu" club. He can't believe all the affection you guys have for him – a mere Orc. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts, because, alas, all good things must come to an end. (ominous music borrowed from JastaElf) For the present the Black Arrow is still hiding under the bed. Legolas has enough to worry about with Aragorn right now.
() - Hi hi! I am glad that you enjoyed that last chapter. And you were correct in assuming that the vile Orc potion was not a good thing. I think that Elrond must have a light-hearted side or he would go crazy. And I really like him, so I like to see him loosen up occasionally. And no, Legolas would never forsake his friendship with Elu. They have been through too much together to abandon what they have because they have hit another bump in the road. But , yes, Legolas is still afraid of Elu. Who wouldn't be?
As for my gearing up, I am exactly like you. To get into the emotions that a character is feeling you do have to feel that emotion at some level or you can't relate to what you are writing and it will feel false and forced. That is also why the angst is coming with humor and in pieces instead of the whole thing in one great glut of pain!! One moment of sorrow at a time.
Ayod Botla - Sunshine is wonderful!!! Enjoy it while you can!!
Horus – Yeah, Elu is all happy…and stuff…Glad that you are okay now!
Irena – Arwen and shovels just seem to be a funny combination around here for some reason, don't they.
Salak – Thanks for keeping up the dance! It has been a long, glorious one!
LOTR lover – Elrond deserves some chocolate and tea fro that one. And a dance. Yeah, that pesky Black Arrow is still around. It may indeed cause problems yet. And you are right that there would need to be some 'splaining to do, Lucy – er – Elu if Elrond and Gandalf found out!
Author's Note – Bilbo's song is indeed Bilbo's song and therefore Master Tolkien's. It is not mine. * sigh *
Also the red handkerchief is not mine either. It is also the Master's. * sigh *
Elu heard a voice ahead, a single voice that seemed to be having a conversation with itself. The Orc smiled and looked down at Arwen.
"That is Bilbo." He announced happily.
"Yes. That is indeed Bilbo. Now go and enjoy your morning, Elu Heneb." She said, stroking his cheek and then turning and moving silently away.
The Orc still marveled at how quietly the Elves could walk, almost as if their feet didn't touch the ground. The Orc walked as softly as he could into the garden, which was surrounded with losscoron bushes (snowball /viburnum bushes), the heavy white balls of blossoms swaying in the light morning breeze.
The old Hobbit was seated on a bench with his back to Elu, his walking stick propped beside him, a warm shawl wrapped about his shoulders. He was speaking to a child seated on a plump cushion of blue velvet at the Hobbit's furry feet. The child's slender hands flowed in rapid, fluid movements as he "spoke" to the Hobbit.
"Yes, Jess, I do remember that song, I wrote it after all. I am surprised that they still sing it here. That was quite some time ago. I'm sure they only sing it to amuse me. They are very good about that. What? Blue-eyed? What do you mean, my boy? Huh?" Bilbo turned to see what the child was pointing at with such a big grin on his face. "Oh! Elu! Do join us, why don't you. Come. Come. You may sit with me here, unless your bones are tough enough to sit on the ground with Jess. Mine no longer are. Jess is telling you good morning."
Elu smiled down at the boy.
"Good morning, Jessolothrad." He said, trying to mimic the hand motion the boy made.
"Oh, just call him Jess why don't you. Jessolothrad is such a mouthful. These Elvish names are beautiful and all, but they can really tie your tongue in knots. Now Elu is a wonderful name. Short and easily said. Don't have to spend any time thinking about how to pronounce it."
Jess gestured at Elu again, making motions about his head.
"He asks why your hood is down in the sunlight. He says the Orcs don't like the sun."
"Oh, let me tell you what Lord Elrond did for me." He plopped onto the ground to Bilbo's left and Jess's right and launched into praise of Rivendell's lord.
Bilbo smiled watching him with delight. The Orc seemed as young as Jess sitting there in the grass the words flowing as freely as if from a Master Storyteller.
"What is he saying?" Elu asked as Jess motioned again.
"He says that he loves the sun, too. And that he is glad that Lord Elrond has helped you."
"I wish that I could understand what he is saying." Elu murmured wistfully.
"Well, you can learn to, you know. He and old Eikenstan taught me. Eikenstan is a Dwarf. I really am rather fond of Dwarves, you know."
Elu smiled a little lopsidedly.
"Legolas Elvellon isn't."
"Who? Oh, Legolas. Well, no I guess that hasn't changed. He really is rather a nice fellow though. Did I ever tell you how we met? No? Well, I will have to tell you that tale sometime. We had quite an adventure really. I really wasn't certain if it was him at first, he has grown up a bit himself."
"I would love to hear it."
Bilbo had seen the look of great love whenever he spoke of his Elf friend. He smiled.
"And some day soon you shall. But I think that little Jess here would like to sing something. He has been at me all morning."
Jess nodded enthusiastically, grabbing Elu's sleeve and making the motion for sing then clasping his hands together and shaking them imploringly, the blue eyes pleading.
Elu laughed and dared to touch the child's bright hair. He was amazed that Jess didn't flinch away but reached up to touch the raven dark hair that brushed the Orc's shoulders.
"Now, how can you refuse such a one." Bilbo laughed watching the two's interaction with interest. "He is such a charming child that no one can deny him anything. Shall we teach Elu my song, Jess?"
The boy nodded and reached for the case that rested behind him. He eased the harp out and quickly tuned it.
"Being from Mirkwood as you are Elu, perhaps you'd rather learn my Spider song." The Hobbit winked at Jess and then grinned at the Orc.
"You made a song about the Spiders?"
"Of course. Well, actually I sang it to the Spiders. It wasn't very good perhaps, but I was stinging all the Spiders I could." Again he laughed at some private joke that Jess obviously shared, for the boy clapped his hands, lay the harp down and jumped to his feet. His face became serious and he drew an imaginary sword. He mimed creeping through the wood, and then slashed about him fiercely. He pretended to sing at the imaginary Spiders of Mirkwood. He made a few more swipes with his sword then he stood proudly, the sword held aloft in triumph. Then he dropped back beside Elu, his eyes bright with mirth. The Orc laughed, wishing that he knew the story.
"I will loan you my book, Elu." Bilbo said. "I've written it all down. Rather vain of me I guess, but it was a grand adventure."
Elu nodded. Perhaps he should write down some of his adventures. But then he frowned. Not all of them. Some were too painful to put into words. Luckily before he could think that through any further, Jess picked up his harp and began to play. It was a quaint melody with something of sadness in it. And then Bilbo began to sing in his slightly quavering voice:
"Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea:
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June.
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Road go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known."
Elu stared at Bilbo, his mouth agape.
"You wrote that?"
"Yes. I know that it is not very good perhaps. I wrote it a long time ago when I was returning home from my adventure with the Dwarves. Home." He sighed wistfully. "I guess I will never see Bag End again." He smiled down sadly at the Orc and young Elf. "But that was my choice."
"That is a beautiful song."
"Well, thank you, Elu. I am rather fond of it myself. The Elves here sing it occasionally, though I think it is more to amuse me than any thing else. It is rather a short song and they prefer longer ones. Much longer. Just like their names." He rolled his eyes expressively. "I am working on something longer. It should be ready soon I hope. Now – Let us sing one of yours Elu. The Elves here seem to like them. I am certain that they never thought they would be singing a song written by an Orc." He chuckled.
Jessolothrad glanced up at Elu waiting expectantly. The Orc smiled, looking at the young Elf and the old Hobbit and laughed.
The three unusual comrades spent the morning singing and talking, laughing and merely enjoying each other's company. Above them the sun sailed across the autumn sky unaware of the dark clouds that awaited on the horizon.
Legolas stood, leaning against the trunk of a maple tree, its leaves brilliant crimson splashed with gold. He watched as Aragorn sat comfortably on a bench across from him, his back straight, blue eyes watching the Elf intently. A smile touched Legolas' lips.
: You look very much like a king this morning, Estel. : He thought, noting how the clothing he wore fit him quite well and how much more they seemed to suit him than his usual Ranger garb. : Unfortunately, my liege, you have an unwilling subject this morning who does not want this conversation to take place. :
Aragorn sighed slightly. This was not going to be easy. He could read all the signs of reluctance and resistance in the Elf's blue eyes, regardless of how that Elf tried to hide it.
: He will try to make light of this, laugh it away as ridiculous and unnecessary. But he is hurting and afraid. I can feel it. :
Legolas drew a breath, his eyes bright. But before a word could fall from his lips Aragorn shook his head.
"No, Legolas. I am not in the mood for any Elvish word games. We are not here to play." The man felt a slight satisfaction when the Elf's practiced insouciant fell away. "I know this will not be easy for you, but Legolas you cannot do this to yourself. You cannot keep your pain bottled up for ever. Please let me help you."
Legolas' eyes grew anguished and then he looked away, suddenly finding it hard to breath.
: I cannot do this! I cannot take this! It will break me to speak of it. Please, Estel, do not do this to me. : But he spoke no words, fearing that his voice would betray him.
Then he felt a gentle touch on his hair. He looked up, startled, caught off guard. He found himself staring into the Ranger's compassionate blue eyes. He swallowed back what he dreaded were sobs.
Aragorn could feel him shaking, fighting with a determined ferocity against the pent up emotions that were tearing at him. He gently stroked the too pale cheek, watching as the Elf's bottom lip trembled slightly. Distress filled the blue eyes, the battle overwhelming him.
"It is alright, Legolas. I am here for you."
Tears spilled over his cheeks. Part of him wanted to run as far from Aragorn as possible, to hide in a small dark corner screaming, where no one would hear him or discover him. And part of him wanted to collapse into the Ranger's strong arms and cry until he had no more tears, until the grief and the fear and the pain were washed away forever.
Why was it so hard to give in, he wondered. Why couldn't he just tell Aragorn what he wanted to know? Why did he have to constantly fight what he felt inside? Why did it have to be hidden from everyone? Even from himself.
"Non gruithant, Estel. Im alcar henia an car." [I am terrified, Estel. I don't know (what) to do."] The words were barely comprehensible. The torment that lived in Legolas' eyes at that moment stunned the Ranger. "I naeg na beleg. Im achas ha ath dag enni im leithian ha!" [The pain is (too) great. I fear it will slay me if I release it!]
Aragorn could think of no words to comfort his friend. Now when he needed them, words would not form in his mind. So he gathered the trembling Elf into his arms, stroking his hair and his back, making soft noises that were more sounds than words as though he were comforting a small child awakened in the dark by a nightmare.
"I have never mourned for them." Legolas moaned, trying to keep the sobs buried deep inside.
"For who, Legolas?"
"For Tanglinna, Meren and – and Brethil." The last name ended in a moan of such anguish that Aragorn's arms tightened instinctively.
The man felt his own grief well within him. He had not known Meren well, but he had known Tanglinna and Brethil. And now they were gone.
"It is alright, Legolas. You may mourn them now." Tears burned in the Ranger's eyes. "We will mourn them together."
Legolas body was wracked with pain as he tried to keep the sobs back, but it was too late. The grief was too great – and had been denied for too long. Aragorn held him as the cries were wrenched from him. Words in broken Elvish reached his ears. Most often he could make out the words "I am sorry." The Ranger gently rocked him back and forth caressing the long hair, holding him close. At last the sobs began to die away and Legolas stood quietly in the Ranger's embrace, his face pressed against the other's shoulder.
At last he pulled away, his face red and damp, the outpouring leaving him feeling exhausted.
"I am sorry, Estel. I shouldn't have – "
"Yes. You should have." The man dug into a pocket and pulled forth a red silk handkerchief.
Legolas raised one dark eyebrow and took it from him.
"Red, Estel?"
Aragorn laughed slightly.
"It's not mine actually. It is Elrond's. He told me I might have a use for it before the day was over."
Legolas snorted slightly and wiped his eyes.
"For some reason I never pictured Lord Elrond with red handkerchiefs."
"No. He can be quite surprising at times."
Legolas started to hand it back to him, but the Ranger held up one hand with a smile.
"Keep it. I suspect that Elrond knew you would end up with it."
Legolas smiled back, a very tired, melancholy smile and put the handkerchief in his pocket.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the two. Legolas turned his head to one side, suddenly very interested in the variety of grass that grew beneath his feet. Aragorn knew the battle wasn't over, aye, it had barely started, and Legolas was not the only one who had been wearied by the first combat. And if Aragorn guessed correctly this next one would be much harder on them both.
: I could have spent this glorious day with Arwen, being diverted by much more pleasant things that this. : He thought with a tight smile. : Instead I am standing here waiting for Legolas to flee which he will try to do and then I will have to stop him and bring on more pain. : He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"Shall we sit for this next one?" He offered, gesturing toward the bench.
All the wariness returned to his friend's blue eyes.
"What next one?"
Aragorn narrowed his eyes.
"Legolas, if I believed that the only thing troubling you was – was the death of your friends then I would gladly leave you in peace. But I know that there is much more to this problem than that. I am relieved that you have grieved for them, and that part of you can heal now. But that is not the only pain you suffer."
More tears burned in his eyes. How could there be more? He turned his head to one side, the weariness seeming to crush him. Why couldn't Aragorn just leave him alone? He sighed, fingers plucking at his pocket, wishing that he need never use the red handkerchief again, yet knowing that it would be drenched before the day's end. He nodded.
"Very well."
They both moved to the bench and sank onto its cool hardness. Aragorn felt a flash of sympathy for the Elf, seeing him sitting in a slumped position. He had never seen Legolas anything but alert – very aware of everything about him. But now all of his vitality seemed sapped, he doubted that he even felt the single tear that slid silently down his face to drip from his chin. He raised his eyes to the Ranger, who was alarmed to see how hollow and empty they seemed. He looked so defeated in that moment that Aragorn wondered if they should continue. But then Legolas spoke, his voice low and controlled.
"Where do you want me to start?"
Yeah. I didn't finish this yet. I am working on it. My computer was very screwy yesterday and I am not very happy with it. Especially since it lost part of this chapter and I am not always good at remembering what I wrote. I am not sure that Word will cooperate with me when I try to post it. If it doesn't you will hear me screaming in Sindarin as I throw it out the window!! Just kidding…I hope!