AJ Matthews – It is always good to know ahead of time how some things will
turn out. It also makes my job easier since I don't have to wonder how
some things will end.
Ranger – We are indeed at last getting somewhere. And you may ramble any time you want! I love to know what people think about Tolkien's tales and his wonderful characters. Don't worry too much about Nirnaeth. I am working on him.
JastaElf – I am sure that Salak will be glad to dance for you anytime. I don't think too many of you saw that fear of Legolas was the root of Elu's Black Thoughts. Probably because I wasn't too certain myself until it finally coalesced when I wrote the last chapter.
Jan – Wow! Your last review floored me mightily! My first thought was and I make YOU think?!! You make me think!!! I am glad that you guys seem to think that I know what I am doing the entire time, but I admit that I don't always know exactly where I am headed. The Black Arrow being a case in point. After I wrote and posted that chapter, I was sitting with my tablet (yes, I am quite archaic and use a pen and paper at times!!) and I wrote in large letters "Why did Elu keep the arrow???" I honestly did not know. But rest assured that I know now and I hope that no one will be disappointed in that resolution. You should laugh at Glorfindel for thinking of Legolas as a young, stubborn thing. It was meant as an amused endearment. Elrond, Glorfindel and Erestor do indeed know what transpired when Elu was being Orcish. Glorfindel was sent by Elrond to continue what Aragorn began when he wanted Aragorn elsewhere. He does want to help Legolas, but as an Elf he does still harbor uncertainties about Elu, who is unlike anyone they have ever encountered and he is therefore wary in his regard for the Orc. Elrond himself still harbors uncertainties, he feels very responsible for anything that might happen since he allowed Elu into Imladris, the realm he has worked to protect from evil for so long. What Elf wouldn't. And no one knows more about Elu than Legolas. Thank you for that insightful review! Love it!
Ayod – Sorry to confuse you, nin mell. All will be answered. Very good deduction on the not wanting to disappoint Legolas. That is indeed part of the problem.
Alliwantisanelfforchristmas – thanks for the tea, chocolate, and hugs! Things are building to a conclusion on several fronts here. I can almost see the end! Almost!
LOTR lover – Action is coming. And since you were a Dwarf on the personality test I will write some Dwarves into the action just for you! I am ready to write something other than angst at this point, but all in good time. I am glad that you like Nirnaeth and who knows. Perhaps there is a story out there for him somewhere. Glorfindel is great, isn't he!
Shinigamio – Hope your exam went well and all you hard work paid off!! I am glad that you are enjoying this angst! I admit that at this point it is driving me nuts trying to keep everyone's emotions, motives and thoughts flowing. Everything will be answered soon since now I now the answers! It's nice to be a Frodo, isn't it!
Irena – I am glad that you are enjoying this. I am trying to make Elu happy!
Horus – Elu is afraid of many things and yes, one of them is that he will hurt Legolas. You are correct. But as I am telling everyone: I am working on it!
Karina – Yep. Many scary things in people's heads. And yes, Legolas doesn't like the way he is feeling about Elu. Who would? Everyone is squeezing and the worst is coming or perhaps the last of it is coming when Elu and Legolas will have to confront one another. Major angst and I am so tired of it!
Legolas stared at Glorfindel in disbelief.
"Why does Elu fear me?" He breathed. "I have never threatened him in any way."
"He does not fear you physically, young one. There are many things he fears, but that is not one of them. He told us of that night that was so horrible for you – and for him. It was very hard for him to admit to what he had done to you and when he did he wept over the fact that you would not defend yourself against him."
Legolas' eyes slid away from the Elf Lord and he stared unseeing at the horses grazing not far away. Memories of that night crowded at the edge of his mind, but he forced them back. He swallowed and took a deep breath.
"What – what does he fear then?"
Glorfindel gazed steadily into the younger Elf's eyes.
"He fears that what happened that night has damaged your friendship." He held up one hand as Legolas started to deny this. "Peace, young Greenleaf. Allow me to finish answering your question."
Legolas nodded, willing himself to stillness.
"He says that he has noticed a reticence in you that seems to have grown since you arrived here in Imladris. And from the expression on your face I can see that this must be true. It is hard for him to expect such a friendship as you have to last. He fears that your gratitude to him for helping you so long ago is the only motivating factor. He is – understandably – insecure. He is an Orc, regardless of how much he wishes it to be otherwise. I think he harbored a secret hope that Elrond could change him to something else. But that is impossible. He must learn to accept himself. And this he will not do until you have done it."
"But I have." Legolas protested.
"Indeed? You have never doubted the bond that is between you? You have never questioned his feelings for you? You have never once doubted his friendship? Or your own because he is an Orc?"
How could he not have doubted it? He doubted it that night that he chased after the band of Orcs that had taken Elu from beneath Beleg Doron. How many times did he question his pace as being too slow? He should have easily outdistanced them. And when he did, he had hesitated just long enough to make Elu's rescue impossible. He sighed, his shoulders slumping.
Glorfindel watched as guilt and sorrow flitted across the younger Elf's face. He sat quietly allowing things to fall into place.
Legolas raised his eyes to the horses again. He did doubt his feelings for Elu. And he did doubt Elu's feelings for himself. He loved the Orc as a friend, but he also feared him. And Elu loved him as a friend, but feared him. It hadn't always been that way. No, it had all changed when Elu had returned that night in June to exact his revenge for what had happened to him in Dol Guldur. It seemed that emotions as tangled as spider webbing plagued them both.
"I would like to hear your version of what happened this past summer, young Legolas." Glorfindel said quietly when he judged the time was right.
Legolas remained silent for a time, his brow furrowed as he struggled with the memories that he had denied for months. It hadn't always been easy to push the pain aside, but he had. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Perhaps it was time to release it. He began to speak.
Sometime later, Glorfindel handed him a bright red silk handkerchief and was rewarded with a smile. The younger Elf had finally been able to speak of everything that had transpired that fateful time in Norui [June]. At first he had been speaking quietly and calmly. But then as he relived it, the panic and pain he had felt had over taken him. Glorfindel had placed a warm hand on his back to comfort him as he sobbed into his upraised knees. It was the middle of the afternoon now; the sky had darkened to a slate grey. Legolas wiped his face with the handkerchief then stared at it. Suddenly he found it a very silly thing for Elrond to have and he started to laugh. Glorfindel, who had often wondered why Elrond had chosen such a vibrant red for all his handkerchiefs - surely blue-violet would be much more suitable - joined him.
When Legolas had managed to stop giggling, he wiped his eyes once more.
"Thank you, Lord Glorfindel."
Glorfindel smiled at him and squeezed his arm.
"Did it help?" He asked, gazing at the flushed face.
"Yes. I – I do feel better. Thank you."
"Knowing that you are better is thanks enough, young one." He stood then and offering his hand to Legolas. "There is only one thing that I would ask you in return."
"What is that?"
"You must speak to Elu."
Legolas drew a deep breath and nodded, much to Glorfindel's relief. He must indeed be healing to accept this without any objections. Elrond would be please with this development. As well as with what Glorfindel had learned about the Orc. The Elf Lord smiled and clapped Legolas on the back.
"Shall we go for a ride before this storm breaks?"
Legolas smiled. It would be good to feel the wind on his face as Elluth flew over the ground. He nodded, holding the handkerchief out to Glorfindel. The Elf Lord smiled and shook his head.
"There are plenty more where that one came from. Elrond has a whole drawer full of them." He smiled and whistled to Asfaloth. The horse raised his head and whickered then trotted over to his friend, butting his head into Glorfindel's chest. Legolas called to Elluth who ran to greet him. Legolas touched the horse's forehead with his own, smiling. The two Elves mounted and rode across the meadow, feeling the wind on their faces.
The storm broke over the Misty Mountains drenching its western side with rain. Boromir was forced to find shelter in a small grove of fir trees, huddled with his horse beneath their blanket trying to stay as dry as possible. This quest for Imladris had not turned out at all the way he had envisioned it. He should have been able to discover its whereabouts by now. He had come to the grim conclusion that if he did not find it within the week he would turn south for Minas Tirith in defeat, even though it rankled him to his very soul to do so. He could not spend the rest of his life wandering like a silly child lost in the woods when Gondor needed him.
: Mayhap Faramir should have come in my stead. : He thought glumly. : I was perhaps too hasty in deeming that I be the one to make this venture. He did have the dream e'er I did and most often. :
He shook his head. There were times when he didn't value his younger brother, as he should. Many times. Their personalities were so divergent that there was little to draw them together, especially now that they were grown men. He regretted that he hadn't tried harder to get to know this person who was his flesh and blood.
:I will try to rectify that when I return. : he thought with a tight smile. : That is if Gondor is not also lost to me as Imladris is. :
As darkness fell, he shivered, feeling rain running down his face where it dripped into the shelter of the blanket. He stroked Hurin and spoke softly to him, jesting lightly. But then he felt a strangeness come over him and a voice that resembled Faramir's spoke to him.
"Turn about brother. Look to the lights. The lights through the trees. Imladris, Boromir. Imladris!"
Boromir scowled and shook his head, sending droplets cascading from the blanket's edge. Hurin snorted at him in annoyance.
"Imladris, Boromir. Turn about, my brother."
Boromir snorted and eased the blanket from his head and turned to look behind him. Glimmering in the distance through the falling rain were lights. He gasped and stared. Dropping the blanket about Hurin who complained loudly, he moved through the trees, one hand held above his eyes.
"Imladris?" He murmured. "Can it be?" He felt a weakness shaking inside him. Had he at last reached his goal? Had he found Imladris? He laughed raising his arms to the night, rain splattering his upturned face. "Imladris!" He shouted joyfully. "Imladris!"
And far away in the south Faramir awoke, a feeling of triumph beating in his breast.
"Imladris."
Elu opened the door to the room that he shared with Legolas. He felt exhausted, but relief sang through him. Frodo would be well. Elrond had removed a fragment, a merest piece of the wraith's blade from Frodo. As the Elf Lord and Mithrandir had feared it had been moving inexorably toward the Hobbit's heart. But now Elrond had assured them all Frodo would now be fine.
Sam had burst into tears and run to throw his arms about Lord Elrond.
"Oh, thank you, Mister Elrond, sir! Thank you!"
Elrond had stared down at the small Hobbit clinging to his legs, an eyebrow raised. Then he smiled and stroked Sam's hair.
"You are quite welcome, Samwise Gamgee." He said quietly.
Elu could see the relief that was written plainly on Imladris' lord. He knew that Elrond had been more concerned than he had let on. Bilbo was holding his young cousin's hand in his own, a trembling smile on his lips.
"I knew you could beat it, Frodo my lad. You're a Baggin's after all."
Gandalf had moved to stand behind the old Hobbit and stared down at the still form on the bed, tears wetting his cheeks.
"Indeed, he is." He murmured, smiling.
Elu moved quietly from the room, leaving them to their happiness. Waiting outside were the two other Hobbits, Aragorn, and Arwen. They stood as he approached.
"Is he –" Merry began, afraid to finish his sentence.
"He will be well now." Elu told them, smiling. "You may go in and see him."
The two Hobbits burst into the room, huge smiles on their faces.
"Elrond is just going to chase them out again." Aragorn laughed, knowing the Elf Lord very well. "Thank you for telling us, Elu." Aragorn studied the Orc's face. He was looking down modestly, a smile playing about his lips. : He truly seems glad that Frodo will be well. Mayhap he can overcome all that plagues him. I wish that it may be so. :
He grasped the Orc's arm then he and Arwen moved past him into the room.
Elu closed the door and leaned against it, feeling the smooth cool wood through his light tunic. Scented candles had been lit at dusk and bathed the room in a sweet, warm glow. He sighed and moved across the room.
"How is he, Elu?"
He started and turned to see Legolas seated in a dark corner. He rose from the chair and moved closer to the Orc.
"He will be well. Lord Elrond is an amazing Healer, Legolas Elvellon. Truly wondrous."
"Yes. He is." Legolas took a deep breath. : Quickly, he told himself. : It must be now. : "I understand that you spoke to him about your Black Thoughts."
Elu raised his eyes, which had grown wide with apprehension.
"Yes. I hope you do not mind."
Legolas was anguished to see the fear that leapt to the Orc's eyes: fear that he would disapprove of what he had done.
"Of course not. That was a wise decision, nin mellon."
The look of relief that flooded Elu's features was no less painful. Legolas moved to sit on the edge of his bed, his fingers gripping the soft fabric.
"I spoke to Lord Glorfindel this afternoon."
"Oh?" Elu turned away, hiding his expression, unaware that Legolas could see his face reflected in the mirror hanging on the wall.
"Yes. He said – He said that I should ask you why you kept the Black Arrow." His fingers whitened as they dug more deeply into the mattress. He schooled his features to nonchalance. He didn't wish to frighten Elu away with the depth of his own emotions.
The Orc hung his head, suddenly interested in the pattern on the small table that was covered with several candles.
"The Black Arrow." He murmured softly.
: Please talk to me, Elu. : He thought as if the desperate cry in his head could reach the Orc.
"How did you know that I had kept it, Legolas Elvellon?"
"I – I didn't know until – " Now he hung his head. "Until I found it in your things."
Amazingly Elu merely nodded.
"Yes. I kept it." He turned, his blue eyes filled with such pain that Legolas gasped involuntarily. "But I never kept it to hurt you." Elu threw himself down on the floor before the stunned Elf. "Please believe me, Legolas. I never want to hurt you. I did not keep it for that reason. Please believe me." Elu's hands grasped Legolas in a tight embrace.
Thranduil's son stared down at him, so shocked by what he saw in the blue eyes that he couldn't speak. He freed one of his hands, feeling the Orc's spirit crumbling as he thought that Legolas sought to flee his touch. But then Legolas gently touched his cheek, raising his head, which had sunk to his breast in despair.
"I do believe you, nin mellon." He said quietly. "There have been many misunderstandings between us of late. And I am sorry that I have hurt you so. I – I was amazed to learn that you feared me as much I as I feared you." He paused, looking down. "But I think that it is time for us to place all of our fears about one another behind us. Forever."
The Orc gazed up at him, wanting to believe so badly that they could lay aside all the fears that beset them. If only it could be so, but –
"I can never be like you, Legolas Elvellon." He moaned, tears welling in his eyes. "I cannot be like an Elf. I am an Orc and a part of you will always hate me for that."
Legolas shook his head, brushing back a stray strand of coarse black hair from Elu's face.
"No. I have never hated you. And I never will. I don't want you to be an Elf." He said. "I met an Orc that was there when I needed help, not an Elf. It was an Orc that made a song to soothe me in the darkness when all hope was gone. It was an Orc that thrilled me when he discovered so much joy in what was about him. It was an Orc that I trailed all the way to Dol Guldur – and believe me-" He smiled wryly. "I would never go that way if your life hadn't been at stake. And - for that I am sorry. I was not able to do that one simple thing for you. I am so sorry. Please forgive me."
Now it was Elu who reached a trembling finger to Legolas' face to wipe away the tears.
"You did all that you could, Legolas Elvellon. I know that."
Legolas swallowed and smiled at his friend.
"I still want your forgiveness, nin mellon." He said quietly.
Elu's face crumpled and his eyes gazed at the floor morosely.
"Only if you will forgive me. What I did to you was so terrible and horrible that I cannot bear to think of it!"
"I know. Then we will not think of it. It is behind us. I do forgive you."
"How can you after what I did? How can you stand to look at me? Touch me." The Orc turned away, but Legolas took his hand. "I wish I weren't an Orc. Oh, if only Lord Elrond could have Healed me of that."
Legolas laughed slightly remembering what Glorfindel had said.
"Elu, I don't want you to be someone else. I accept you as you are. You are my friend and I don't want you to be something that you are not because you think it would please me. It wouldn't. I like you as you are." He repeated. "And I wish you could accept that."
The Orc gazed up at him. Could it be true? Could Legolas really accept him as he was? It would be all that he could hope for.
Seeing the hesitancy on his friends face, Legolas smiled.
"Do you accept me for myself, nin mellon? Or is there something that you are not telling me?"
Elu gaped up at him.
"Of course I accept you, Legolas Elvellon. But you are an Elf. Beautiful and kind and –"
"And stubborn and willful. Rude occasionally." He grinned.
Elu's brows furrowed.
"Well…yes. I know that you can be all of that, but –"
Legolas laughed in delight and shook his head. He had not felt so lighthearted in a long time.
"But you accept me in spite of it?"
"Of course. But –" The Orc paused, his eyes beginning to brighten. Then he sighed and stared up at the Elf. "But my Black Thoughts –"
"I think that your Black Thoughts will be under control if you can accept yourself for what you are. A wonderful, kind, thoughtful, talented, and special Orc. And my friend."
Elu gazed up at him in wonder, his mind flooding with thoughts hitherto unknown to him.
"Lord Elrond told me the same thing. So did Lord Glorfindel and Erestor."
Legolas smiled.
"I know."
"They said that if I accept that I am an Orc I should be able to control the Black Thoughts. And if I knew that you would always be my friend they would not be as bad." He shook his head. "If such great Elves as yourselves all think that then perhaps –"
Suddenly Elu turned away, doubling over, making noises that alarmed Legolas. The Elf threw himself onto the floor beside the Orc.
"Don't cry, Elu. Everything will be well. I promise you that every- "
The Orc raised his head and smiled over at the Elf. He wiped tears from his eyes.
"I am not crying, Legolas Elvellon. I am so happy that I was laughing." Suddenly he threw his strong arms about the Elf's slim body and squeezed him hard. "I am so happy, Legolas Elvellon. You truly don't fear me any more?"
"No." Was the muffled, squeaky answer.
Elu laughed again and released him.
"I am sorry. I did not mean to squeeze you so hard, Legolas Elvellon. I am so relieved and so happy." He stood, breathing deeply, an inane grin on his face. Suddenly he laughed and began to jump and spin about the room. "I am so happy, Legolas Elvellon. I am so happy!"
Legolas stood, watching him do his Happy Dance. Then at last he slowed, his blue eyes shining.
"I fear that I will wear a hole in the carpet. Then Lord Elrond would not be happy." He grinned, then grabbed Legolas in a bear hug and swung him about the room.
There was a knock on the door. Elu set the Elf on his feet and watched as he went to answer the door. Lord Glorfindel stood there.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, staring into the room in puzzlement. "I heard a lot of noise. Is something wrong?"
The two glanced at each other sheepishly.
"Nothing is wrong, Lord Glorfindel." Elu answered, then he suddenly moved to embrace the Elf Lord. Legolas managed to control the burst of laughter that rose in his throat when he saw the stunned look of utter shock on Glorfindel's face. At last Elu released him.
"I see that you two have been talking." He said, straightening his velvet tunic and staring at the two with confusion. "I – uh – I will be going now. This will please, Elrond." He scowled, still uncertain as to how he felt about the emotional display and turned, walking down the hall.
"Shall we go for a walk, Legolas Elvellon? I cannot sit here now. I must do something."
"It is raining, Elu."
The Orc shrugged.
"It will feel good to stand in the rain, I think."
Legolas smiled and started to follow him from the room.
"Elu?" He hesitated. "Why did you keep the Black Arrow? You never told me."
Elu turned to him and grinned with embarrassment.
"Come. I will tell you."
Ranger – We are indeed at last getting somewhere. And you may ramble any time you want! I love to know what people think about Tolkien's tales and his wonderful characters. Don't worry too much about Nirnaeth. I am working on him.
JastaElf – I am sure that Salak will be glad to dance for you anytime. I don't think too many of you saw that fear of Legolas was the root of Elu's Black Thoughts. Probably because I wasn't too certain myself until it finally coalesced when I wrote the last chapter.
Jan – Wow! Your last review floored me mightily! My first thought was and I make YOU think?!! You make me think!!! I am glad that you guys seem to think that I know what I am doing the entire time, but I admit that I don't always know exactly where I am headed. The Black Arrow being a case in point. After I wrote and posted that chapter, I was sitting with my tablet (yes, I am quite archaic and use a pen and paper at times!!) and I wrote in large letters "Why did Elu keep the arrow???" I honestly did not know. But rest assured that I know now and I hope that no one will be disappointed in that resolution. You should laugh at Glorfindel for thinking of Legolas as a young, stubborn thing. It was meant as an amused endearment. Elrond, Glorfindel and Erestor do indeed know what transpired when Elu was being Orcish. Glorfindel was sent by Elrond to continue what Aragorn began when he wanted Aragorn elsewhere. He does want to help Legolas, but as an Elf he does still harbor uncertainties about Elu, who is unlike anyone they have ever encountered and he is therefore wary in his regard for the Orc. Elrond himself still harbors uncertainties, he feels very responsible for anything that might happen since he allowed Elu into Imladris, the realm he has worked to protect from evil for so long. What Elf wouldn't. And no one knows more about Elu than Legolas. Thank you for that insightful review! Love it!
Ayod – Sorry to confuse you, nin mell. All will be answered. Very good deduction on the not wanting to disappoint Legolas. That is indeed part of the problem.
Alliwantisanelfforchristmas – thanks for the tea, chocolate, and hugs! Things are building to a conclusion on several fronts here. I can almost see the end! Almost!
LOTR lover – Action is coming. And since you were a Dwarf on the personality test I will write some Dwarves into the action just for you! I am ready to write something other than angst at this point, but all in good time. I am glad that you like Nirnaeth and who knows. Perhaps there is a story out there for him somewhere. Glorfindel is great, isn't he!
Shinigamio – Hope your exam went well and all you hard work paid off!! I am glad that you are enjoying this angst! I admit that at this point it is driving me nuts trying to keep everyone's emotions, motives and thoughts flowing. Everything will be answered soon since now I now the answers! It's nice to be a Frodo, isn't it!
Irena – I am glad that you are enjoying this. I am trying to make Elu happy!
Horus – Elu is afraid of many things and yes, one of them is that he will hurt Legolas. You are correct. But as I am telling everyone: I am working on it!
Karina – Yep. Many scary things in people's heads. And yes, Legolas doesn't like the way he is feeling about Elu. Who would? Everyone is squeezing and the worst is coming or perhaps the last of it is coming when Elu and Legolas will have to confront one another. Major angst and I am so tired of it!
Legolas stared at Glorfindel in disbelief.
"Why does Elu fear me?" He breathed. "I have never threatened him in any way."
"He does not fear you physically, young one. There are many things he fears, but that is not one of them. He told us of that night that was so horrible for you – and for him. It was very hard for him to admit to what he had done to you and when he did he wept over the fact that you would not defend yourself against him."
Legolas' eyes slid away from the Elf Lord and he stared unseeing at the horses grazing not far away. Memories of that night crowded at the edge of his mind, but he forced them back. He swallowed and took a deep breath.
"What – what does he fear then?"
Glorfindel gazed steadily into the younger Elf's eyes.
"He fears that what happened that night has damaged your friendship." He held up one hand as Legolas started to deny this. "Peace, young Greenleaf. Allow me to finish answering your question."
Legolas nodded, willing himself to stillness.
"He says that he has noticed a reticence in you that seems to have grown since you arrived here in Imladris. And from the expression on your face I can see that this must be true. It is hard for him to expect such a friendship as you have to last. He fears that your gratitude to him for helping you so long ago is the only motivating factor. He is – understandably – insecure. He is an Orc, regardless of how much he wishes it to be otherwise. I think he harbored a secret hope that Elrond could change him to something else. But that is impossible. He must learn to accept himself. And this he will not do until you have done it."
"But I have." Legolas protested.
"Indeed? You have never doubted the bond that is between you? You have never questioned his feelings for you? You have never once doubted his friendship? Or your own because he is an Orc?"
How could he not have doubted it? He doubted it that night that he chased after the band of Orcs that had taken Elu from beneath Beleg Doron. How many times did he question his pace as being too slow? He should have easily outdistanced them. And when he did, he had hesitated just long enough to make Elu's rescue impossible. He sighed, his shoulders slumping.
Glorfindel watched as guilt and sorrow flitted across the younger Elf's face. He sat quietly allowing things to fall into place.
Legolas raised his eyes to the horses again. He did doubt his feelings for Elu. And he did doubt Elu's feelings for himself. He loved the Orc as a friend, but he also feared him. And Elu loved him as a friend, but feared him. It hadn't always been that way. No, it had all changed when Elu had returned that night in June to exact his revenge for what had happened to him in Dol Guldur. It seemed that emotions as tangled as spider webbing plagued them both.
"I would like to hear your version of what happened this past summer, young Legolas." Glorfindel said quietly when he judged the time was right.
Legolas remained silent for a time, his brow furrowed as he struggled with the memories that he had denied for months. It hadn't always been easy to push the pain aside, but he had. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Perhaps it was time to release it. He began to speak.
Sometime later, Glorfindel handed him a bright red silk handkerchief and was rewarded with a smile. The younger Elf had finally been able to speak of everything that had transpired that fateful time in Norui [June]. At first he had been speaking quietly and calmly. But then as he relived it, the panic and pain he had felt had over taken him. Glorfindel had placed a warm hand on his back to comfort him as he sobbed into his upraised knees. It was the middle of the afternoon now; the sky had darkened to a slate grey. Legolas wiped his face with the handkerchief then stared at it. Suddenly he found it a very silly thing for Elrond to have and he started to laugh. Glorfindel, who had often wondered why Elrond had chosen such a vibrant red for all his handkerchiefs - surely blue-violet would be much more suitable - joined him.
When Legolas had managed to stop giggling, he wiped his eyes once more.
"Thank you, Lord Glorfindel."
Glorfindel smiled at him and squeezed his arm.
"Did it help?" He asked, gazing at the flushed face.
"Yes. I – I do feel better. Thank you."
"Knowing that you are better is thanks enough, young one." He stood then and offering his hand to Legolas. "There is only one thing that I would ask you in return."
"What is that?"
"You must speak to Elu."
Legolas drew a deep breath and nodded, much to Glorfindel's relief. He must indeed be healing to accept this without any objections. Elrond would be please with this development. As well as with what Glorfindel had learned about the Orc. The Elf Lord smiled and clapped Legolas on the back.
"Shall we go for a ride before this storm breaks?"
Legolas smiled. It would be good to feel the wind on his face as Elluth flew over the ground. He nodded, holding the handkerchief out to Glorfindel. The Elf Lord smiled and shook his head.
"There are plenty more where that one came from. Elrond has a whole drawer full of them." He smiled and whistled to Asfaloth. The horse raised his head and whickered then trotted over to his friend, butting his head into Glorfindel's chest. Legolas called to Elluth who ran to greet him. Legolas touched the horse's forehead with his own, smiling. The two Elves mounted and rode across the meadow, feeling the wind on their faces.
The storm broke over the Misty Mountains drenching its western side with rain. Boromir was forced to find shelter in a small grove of fir trees, huddled with his horse beneath their blanket trying to stay as dry as possible. This quest for Imladris had not turned out at all the way he had envisioned it. He should have been able to discover its whereabouts by now. He had come to the grim conclusion that if he did not find it within the week he would turn south for Minas Tirith in defeat, even though it rankled him to his very soul to do so. He could not spend the rest of his life wandering like a silly child lost in the woods when Gondor needed him.
: Mayhap Faramir should have come in my stead. : He thought glumly. : I was perhaps too hasty in deeming that I be the one to make this venture. He did have the dream e'er I did and most often. :
He shook his head. There were times when he didn't value his younger brother, as he should. Many times. Their personalities were so divergent that there was little to draw them together, especially now that they were grown men. He regretted that he hadn't tried harder to get to know this person who was his flesh and blood.
:I will try to rectify that when I return. : he thought with a tight smile. : That is if Gondor is not also lost to me as Imladris is. :
As darkness fell, he shivered, feeling rain running down his face where it dripped into the shelter of the blanket. He stroked Hurin and spoke softly to him, jesting lightly. But then he felt a strangeness come over him and a voice that resembled Faramir's spoke to him.
"Turn about brother. Look to the lights. The lights through the trees. Imladris, Boromir. Imladris!"
Boromir scowled and shook his head, sending droplets cascading from the blanket's edge. Hurin snorted at him in annoyance.
"Imladris, Boromir. Turn about, my brother."
Boromir snorted and eased the blanket from his head and turned to look behind him. Glimmering in the distance through the falling rain were lights. He gasped and stared. Dropping the blanket about Hurin who complained loudly, he moved through the trees, one hand held above his eyes.
"Imladris?" He murmured. "Can it be?" He felt a weakness shaking inside him. Had he at last reached his goal? Had he found Imladris? He laughed raising his arms to the night, rain splattering his upturned face. "Imladris!" He shouted joyfully. "Imladris!"
And far away in the south Faramir awoke, a feeling of triumph beating in his breast.
"Imladris."
Elu opened the door to the room that he shared with Legolas. He felt exhausted, but relief sang through him. Frodo would be well. Elrond had removed a fragment, a merest piece of the wraith's blade from Frodo. As the Elf Lord and Mithrandir had feared it had been moving inexorably toward the Hobbit's heart. But now Elrond had assured them all Frodo would now be fine.
Sam had burst into tears and run to throw his arms about Lord Elrond.
"Oh, thank you, Mister Elrond, sir! Thank you!"
Elrond had stared down at the small Hobbit clinging to his legs, an eyebrow raised. Then he smiled and stroked Sam's hair.
"You are quite welcome, Samwise Gamgee." He said quietly.
Elu could see the relief that was written plainly on Imladris' lord. He knew that Elrond had been more concerned than he had let on. Bilbo was holding his young cousin's hand in his own, a trembling smile on his lips.
"I knew you could beat it, Frodo my lad. You're a Baggin's after all."
Gandalf had moved to stand behind the old Hobbit and stared down at the still form on the bed, tears wetting his cheeks.
"Indeed, he is." He murmured, smiling.
Elu moved quietly from the room, leaving them to their happiness. Waiting outside were the two other Hobbits, Aragorn, and Arwen. They stood as he approached.
"Is he –" Merry began, afraid to finish his sentence.
"He will be well now." Elu told them, smiling. "You may go in and see him."
The two Hobbits burst into the room, huge smiles on their faces.
"Elrond is just going to chase them out again." Aragorn laughed, knowing the Elf Lord very well. "Thank you for telling us, Elu." Aragorn studied the Orc's face. He was looking down modestly, a smile playing about his lips. : He truly seems glad that Frodo will be well. Mayhap he can overcome all that plagues him. I wish that it may be so. :
He grasped the Orc's arm then he and Arwen moved past him into the room.
Elu closed the door and leaned against it, feeling the smooth cool wood through his light tunic. Scented candles had been lit at dusk and bathed the room in a sweet, warm glow. He sighed and moved across the room.
"How is he, Elu?"
He started and turned to see Legolas seated in a dark corner. He rose from the chair and moved closer to the Orc.
"He will be well. Lord Elrond is an amazing Healer, Legolas Elvellon. Truly wondrous."
"Yes. He is." Legolas took a deep breath. : Quickly, he told himself. : It must be now. : "I understand that you spoke to him about your Black Thoughts."
Elu raised his eyes, which had grown wide with apprehension.
"Yes. I hope you do not mind."
Legolas was anguished to see the fear that leapt to the Orc's eyes: fear that he would disapprove of what he had done.
"Of course not. That was a wise decision, nin mellon."
The look of relief that flooded Elu's features was no less painful. Legolas moved to sit on the edge of his bed, his fingers gripping the soft fabric.
"I spoke to Lord Glorfindel this afternoon."
"Oh?" Elu turned away, hiding his expression, unaware that Legolas could see his face reflected in the mirror hanging on the wall.
"Yes. He said – He said that I should ask you why you kept the Black Arrow." His fingers whitened as they dug more deeply into the mattress. He schooled his features to nonchalance. He didn't wish to frighten Elu away with the depth of his own emotions.
The Orc hung his head, suddenly interested in the pattern on the small table that was covered with several candles.
"The Black Arrow." He murmured softly.
: Please talk to me, Elu. : He thought as if the desperate cry in his head could reach the Orc.
"How did you know that I had kept it, Legolas Elvellon?"
"I – I didn't know until – " Now he hung his head. "Until I found it in your things."
Amazingly Elu merely nodded.
"Yes. I kept it." He turned, his blue eyes filled with such pain that Legolas gasped involuntarily. "But I never kept it to hurt you." Elu threw himself down on the floor before the stunned Elf. "Please believe me, Legolas. I never want to hurt you. I did not keep it for that reason. Please believe me." Elu's hands grasped Legolas in a tight embrace.
Thranduil's son stared down at him, so shocked by what he saw in the blue eyes that he couldn't speak. He freed one of his hands, feeling the Orc's spirit crumbling as he thought that Legolas sought to flee his touch. But then Legolas gently touched his cheek, raising his head, which had sunk to his breast in despair.
"I do believe you, nin mellon." He said quietly. "There have been many misunderstandings between us of late. And I am sorry that I have hurt you so. I – I was amazed to learn that you feared me as much I as I feared you." He paused, looking down. "But I think that it is time for us to place all of our fears about one another behind us. Forever."
The Orc gazed up at him, wanting to believe so badly that they could lay aside all the fears that beset them. If only it could be so, but –
"I can never be like you, Legolas Elvellon." He moaned, tears welling in his eyes. "I cannot be like an Elf. I am an Orc and a part of you will always hate me for that."
Legolas shook his head, brushing back a stray strand of coarse black hair from Elu's face.
"No. I have never hated you. And I never will. I don't want you to be an Elf." He said. "I met an Orc that was there when I needed help, not an Elf. It was an Orc that made a song to soothe me in the darkness when all hope was gone. It was an Orc that thrilled me when he discovered so much joy in what was about him. It was an Orc that I trailed all the way to Dol Guldur – and believe me-" He smiled wryly. "I would never go that way if your life hadn't been at stake. And - for that I am sorry. I was not able to do that one simple thing for you. I am so sorry. Please forgive me."
Now it was Elu who reached a trembling finger to Legolas' face to wipe away the tears.
"You did all that you could, Legolas Elvellon. I know that."
Legolas swallowed and smiled at his friend.
"I still want your forgiveness, nin mellon." He said quietly.
Elu's face crumpled and his eyes gazed at the floor morosely.
"Only if you will forgive me. What I did to you was so terrible and horrible that I cannot bear to think of it!"
"I know. Then we will not think of it. It is behind us. I do forgive you."
"How can you after what I did? How can you stand to look at me? Touch me." The Orc turned away, but Legolas took his hand. "I wish I weren't an Orc. Oh, if only Lord Elrond could have Healed me of that."
Legolas laughed slightly remembering what Glorfindel had said.
"Elu, I don't want you to be someone else. I accept you as you are. You are my friend and I don't want you to be something that you are not because you think it would please me. It wouldn't. I like you as you are." He repeated. "And I wish you could accept that."
The Orc gazed up at him. Could it be true? Could Legolas really accept him as he was? It would be all that he could hope for.
Seeing the hesitancy on his friends face, Legolas smiled.
"Do you accept me for myself, nin mellon? Or is there something that you are not telling me?"
Elu gaped up at him.
"Of course I accept you, Legolas Elvellon. But you are an Elf. Beautiful and kind and –"
"And stubborn and willful. Rude occasionally." He grinned.
Elu's brows furrowed.
"Well…yes. I know that you can be all of that, but –"
Legolas laughed in delight and shook his head. He had not felt so lighthearted in a long time.
"But you accept me in spite of it?"
"Of course. But –" The Orc paused, his eyes beginning to brighten. Then he sighed and stared up at the Elf. "But my Black Thoughts –"
"I think that your Black Thoughts will be under control if you can accept yourself for what you are. A wonderful, kind, thoughtful, talented, and special Orc. And my friend."
Elu gazed up at him in wonder, his mind flooding with thoughts hitherto unknown to him.
"Lord Elrond told me the same thing. So did Lord Glorfindel and Erestor."
Legolas smiled.
"I know."
"They said that if I accept that I am an Orc I should be able to control the Black Thoughts. And if I knew that you would always be my friend they would not be as bad." He shook his head. "If such great Elves as yourselves all think that then perhaps –"
Suddenly Elu turned away, doubling over, making noises that alarmed Legolas. The Elf threw himself onto the floor beside the Orc.
"Don't cry, Elu. Everything will be well. I promise you that every- "
The Orc raised his head and smiled over at the Elf. He wiped tears from his eyes.
"I am not crying, Legolas Elvellon. I am so happy that I was laughing." Suddenly he threw his strong arms about the Elf's slim body and squeezed him hard. "I am so happy, Legolas Elvellon. You truly don't fear me any more?"
"No." Was the muffled, squeaky answer.
Elu laughed again and released him.
"I am sorry. I did not mean to squeeze you so hard, Legolas Elvellon. I am so relieved and so happy." He stood, breathing deeply, an inane grin on his face. Suddenly he laughed and began to jump and spin about the room. "I am so happy, Legolas Elvellon. I am so happy!"
Legolas stood, watching him do his Happy Dance. Then at last he slowed, his blue eyes shining.
"I fear that I will wear a hole in the carpet. Then Lord Elrond would not be happy." He grinned, then grabbed Legolas in a bear hug and swung him about the room.
There was a knock on the door. Elu set the Elf on his feet and watched as he went to answer the door. Lord Glorfindel stood there.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, staring into the room in puzzlement. "I heard a lot of noise. Is something wrong?"
The two glanced at each other sheepishly.
"Nothing is wrong, Lord Glorfindel." Elu answered, then he suddenly moved to embrace the Elf Lord. Legolas managed to control the burst of laughter that rose in his throat when he saw the stunned look of utter shock on Glorfindel's face. At last Elu released him.
"I see that you two have been talking." He said, straightening his velvet tunic and staring at the two with confusion. "I – uh – I will be going now. This will please, Elrond." He scowled, still uncertain as to how he felt about the emotional display and turned, walking down the hall.
"Shall we go for a walk, Legolas Elvellon? I cannot sit here now. I must do something."
"It is raining, Elu."
The Orc shrugged.
"It will feel good to stand in the rain, I think."
Legolas smiled and started to follow him from the room.
"Elu?" He hesitated. "Why did you keep the Black Arrow? You never told me."
Elu turned to him and grinned with embarrassment.
"Come. I will tell you."