Belated Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Note: Alright, I find myself having some difficulty writing Jesse, especially Jesse's thoughts, 'in character', and I've come to the realization that that is because Jesse's character isn't terribly well- defined, not to the extent of Brennan's certainly. So, please, bare with, as I'll probably be experimenting with a style for Jesse, and feel free to tell me if you think that it's off or 'out of character'.
Chapter Two: Crawling Out of the Dark
"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming, confusing.
This lack of self control I fear is never ending, Controlling, controlling."
-'Crawling' Linkin Park
The next thing I felt was the blackness, the dark edge of night or unconsciousness- I wasn't sure which- pressing against my senses. Then voices, not mine but familiar some how. I didn't try to open my eyes, instead reaching tentatively out into the night, into the darkness, trying to keep my breathing as evenly deep as possible. Suddenly my mind connected with another, confirming that I wasn't alone in the room. A second consciousness entered my range of 'sight'. The voices. I focused on making the voices clear, separating the sounds. It was harder than usual but I managed, relaxing my body and mind, allowing them to flow into me, as if they were speaking to me and not each other.
"Hey, Emma thought you should eat, and she's not going to be happy if you don't." Male, slightly high, concerned. Jesse?
"I'll eat…later. I'm not hungry." Adam. That voice was Adam's.
"I don't know why she's upset at you, or why you feel that's justified, but sitting here watching her isn't going to help anything. With the sedative Emma gave her she'll probably be out for another hour or two, and when she does wake up…" The voice, definitely Jesse's trailed off quietly, leaving the room still with the quiet rush of the ventilation system and the faded robotic beat of a heart monitor. It was odd to hear the rhythm of my own heart outside of the pounding in my head. "Like I said," Jesse continued, closer to me, did that make him farther from Adam?, "she was upset, really upset, about something to do with you." Another pause, shorter this time, and the voice was suddenly hovering above me. "If you want someone to watch her, I will."
"I should be here." Adam stated.
I could feel Jesse's breath, strikingly warm against my too cold skin, as he sighed deeply. "I don't think you should, Adam. She's going to be in pain and disoriented, and you always say stress is the worse thing when someone is trying to recover. I'll just sit with her until she wakes up, check her out to make sure she's alright, then I'll call you, you have the com link. Until then, food wouldn't be out the question, and maybe a nap."
Adam sighed in the background. "I see you haven't forgotten your nursing skills."
Jesse laughed. "Yeah, well, with Shal around it's pretty much a survival trait."
"Yes, well, just wait until Mael wakes up. If I didn't know better I'd swear she was feral herself."
But you do know better, I thought to myself, that's the whole problem in the first place. The bitterness that usually accompanied my thoughts about Adam wasn't there. I must be more tired than I felt. Psionically I knew that cold rage, however justified, was one of the hardest emotions to maintain. Hard enough that some days I wished I could just make it stop, that I could be the bigger person and put ill-begotten woes behind me, move on with my life. But then, I'd look in the mirror and realize that I had no conceivable life to move on with, that I hadn't even since I taken my first breath, and that it was all Adam Zero's fault. He'd stolen my life, my childhood, my future, with genius and good intentions, and I had ever intention of seeing him in Hell. Maybe I just knew how to hold a grudge.
I was jolted out of my thoughts by a warm, gentle touch against wrist. I knew, without having to think about it, that it was Jesse. Not just because he had offered to watch over me, which was sweet in a protective-male-BS sort of way, but because I had already 'synched' with his bio-signs. One of the more interesting effects of my mutancy, also one of the less controllable ones. Clairvoyance, second sight, incorporated a lot of abilities without giving the user any real control of them. Just an on and off switch that oft malfunctioned. The random visions of very bad memories, from other people no less, was just one of the perks. And Brennan wondered why anyone might be just the tad bit bitter about having mutant powers. Some days I was just amazed I wasn't homicidal about it, occasional idle death-to-Adam thoughts withstanding.
As long as he remained touching me, and he seemed in no hurry to let go, I could tap into him mentally, read his thoughts, feel his feelings, see what he thought of me or of Adam, even find out his best dream and worst fear. It took more self-control than I would even admit out loud to keep from doing just that. Good girl of the year I might not be, but voyeurism was still lower than my standards would go. Well, most days.
I blinked rapidly, drawing a sharp intake of breath, trying to shake off the trance-like state I had been resting in. "Interesting little fact. Sedatives? Not all that effective on me." Jesse jumped back as if I had slapped him, making me wonder exactly what he had been thinking after all. Then, once the vegetative state the sedative had rendered me in wore off, the pain returned, not as bad as before, but I suddenly really didn't care whatever it was Jesse had been thinking. Of course, the same thing that made sedatives nearly useless to me also affected sleeping pills, most types of anesthesia, and every painkiller known to man.
"Are you in pain?"
I blinked, knowing my face was the perfect mirror of sarcasm. "No, after all, I find getting cut up all kinds of fun."
He ignored that. "Do you want something for it?"
"Yes. Do you have anything that'll work? No. Pain killers work about as well as sedatives. Bio-chemistry and all that jazz." Strictly speaking he did have something that would help, but it wasn't the kind of something that came in neatly-labeled little vials for consumption.
"Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
If that wasn't a loaded question. I considered my answer, finally settling on a compromise. "Two things actually. One, don't tell Adam I'm awake yet. Two, can you find me some clothes? Mine kind of got cut up and these, whatever they are, aren't all that comfortable." I had just noticed I was in different clothing than I remembered starting out in, which in another situation might have been embarrassing, not that I was easily embarrassed. Of course, I had decided to not think about who had changed my clothes while I was out, so that probably had something to do with it.
Jesse nodded. "I can put off telling Adam for a couple of hours. With the clothes, you're not really Shal's or Emma's size."
"I just want something soft and too big for me, doesn't really matter who the clothes belong to." I replied.
He smiled. "Alright, I'll go get something. Be back in a minute." He turned towards the cabinet then suddenly phased out and disappeared through the wall.
I grinned, cool trick. Looking down, I inspected my wounds. The arm was flawless, healed, though I could feel the pain where the wound had been, and my ribs were much the same. My skin was still pale, after all they hadn't performed cosmetic surgery or anything, but no longer the sickly shade of cold, dead flesh. All and all I felt better.
Jesse reappeared then, phasing back through the wall, now carrying something. Clothes. He hands them over to me, half-placing them in my lap, and I take them. Soft clothing. Soft clothing and some hot tea to drink sounds like heaven right about now.
"Thanks." I pulled the top item off of the pile, shaking it out. It's a long-sleeve shirt, black and made of cotton, cut for someone with broad shoulders. I slip it over my head, pushing my hair- more dark red than blonde- out from under the collar of the shirt that trapped it, and the material billows around me, making it easy to remove the black strip of elastic material without flashing Jesse. The hem is ratted, like someone had torn out the seam in boredom, and the material is well-worn, making the cotton soft to the touch, obviously someone's favorite shirt. I shook out the second piece of clothing, girl's sweats, and turned to Jesse is amusement.
"Shal's." He replied. "They might be a little long, but Emma's taller."
I raised an eyebrow. "You got Shal to lend me some sweats?"
He glanced at the floor sheepishly. "Well, actually, she was talking with Adam, so, I kind of didn't ask." He smiled. "I'm sure she won't mind when she finds out though."
I thought he was wrong about that but I shrugged. "It's all Greek to me."
"Huh?"
I laughed. "The Greeks won the Trojan war by appearing to surrender, but setting up a trap in their peace offering, a wooden horse. So, I'm just saying, like the Greeks, it's better not to look a gift horse in the mouth." I shook my head. "It's a thing." I swung my legs over the side of the medical bed I was sitting on, happy to feel no pain in the ankle that had been bothering me before I had collapsed. Still, when I stood, I gingerly tested the pressure before fully sliding off the bed. Nothing. The T-shirt Jesse had brought me fell to my knees, covering the shorts I had on. I pulled the sweats on over them before leaning over to roll up the legs so I wouldn't step on them. Then, dressed, I stood there, unsure of what to do.
"How long will it take to get me a new identity?" I asked Jesse.
"A good one? A couple of days."
"So, no quietly slipping out the back then?" I sighed. "Damn."
"It's not that bad here, Adam already has a guest room set up for you and everything." He tried to look reassuring, but the only thing that was going to reassure me was Adam magically disappearing for the duration of my stay.
"Jesse, dear, it's not the where, it's the who." I tried to look calm and hopeful but I know I failed miserably. "I suppose it could be worse."
Of course, if he had asked me how right then, I wouldn't have had an answer. I shook my head, pushing the sick feeling curling in my stomach down as far as I could, and smiled more convincingly this time. "I don't suppose you have some tea."
He laughed, the first genuine laugh I had heard from him, and replied, grinning, "Yeah, we have tea. Emma's practically single-handedly supporting the tea business at large."
"I heard that." A willowy red-head said from the doorway. In her hands was a mug of steaming liquid. She smiled broadly at me. "I noticed you were awake and thought you could use some of this."
She handed me the cup and I sniffed at the drink it held. Spearmint. I smiled happily, taking a sip. "Mmm, you read my mind." I paused, looking over at her. "You don't actually read minds. do you?"
Emma shook her head, never breaking the soft smile. "Nope, just emotions."
I drank more of the tea, watching Emma, and to a lesser extent Jesse, for a moment before replying. Neither of them flinched. I grinned. "Hmm, 'kay." At least Adam knew how to pick 'em.
Author's Note: Alright, I find myself having some difficulty writing Jesse, especially Jesse's thoughts, 'in character', and I've come to the realization that that is because Jesse's character isn't terribly well- defined, not to the extent of Brennan's certainly. So, please, bare with, as I'll probably be experimenting with a style for Jesse, and feel free to tell me if you think that it's off or 'out of character'.
Chapter Two: Crawling Out of the Dark
"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming, confusing.
This lack of self control I fear is never ending, Controlling, controlling."
-'Crawling' Linkin Park
The next thing I felt was the blackness, the dark edge of night or unconsciousness- I wasn't sure which- pressing against my senses. Then voices, not mine but familiar some how. I didn't try to open my eyes, instead reaching tentatively out into the night, into the darkness, trying to keep my breathing as evenly deep as possible. Suddenly my mind connected with another, confirming that I wasn't alone in the room. A second consciousness entered my range of 'sight'. The voices. I focused on making the voices clear, separating the sounds. It was harder than usual but I managed, relaxing my body and mind, allowing them to flow into me, as if they were speaking to me and not each other.
"Hey, Emma thought you should eat, and she's not going to be happy if you don't." Male, slightly high, concerned. Jesse?
"I'll eat…later. I'm not hungry." Adam. That voice was Adam's.
"I don't know why she's upset at you, or why you feel that's justified, but sitting here watching her isn't going to help anything. With the sedative Emma gave her she'll probably be out for another hour or two, and when she does wake up…" The voice, definitely Jesse's trailed off quietly, leaving the room still with the quiet rush of the ventilation system and the faded robotic beat of a heart monitor. It was odd to hear the rhythm of my own heart outside of the pounding in my head. "Like I said," Jesse continued, closer to me, did that make him farther from Adam?, "she was upset, really upset, about something to do with you." Another pause, shorter this time, and the voice was suddenly hovering above me. "If you want someone to watch her, I will."
"I should be here." Adam stated.
I could feel Jesse's breath, strikingly warm against my too cold skin, as he sighed deeply. "I don't think you should, Adam. She's going to be in pain and disoriented, and you always say stress is the worse thing when someone is trying to recover. I'll just sit with her until she wakes up, check her out to make sure she's alright, then I'll call you, you have the com link. Until then, food wouldn't be out the question, and maybe a nap."
Adam sighed in the background. "I see you haven't forgotten your nursing skills."
Jesse laughed. "Yeah, well, with Shal around it's pretty much a survival trait."
"Yes, well, just wait until Mael wakes up. If I didn't know better I'd swear she was feral herself."
But you do know better, I thought to myself, that's the whole problem in the first place. The bitterness that usually accompanied my thoughts about Adam wasn't there. I must be more tired than I felt. Psionically I knew that cold rage, however justified, was one of the hardest emotions to maintain. Hard enough that some days I wished I could just make it stop, that I could be the bigger person and put ill-begotten woes behind me, move on with my life. But then, I'd look in the mirror and realize that I had no conceivable life to move on with, that I hadn't even since I taken my first breath, and that it was all Adam Zero's fault. He'd stolen my life, my childhood, my future, with genius and good intentions, and I had ever intention of seeing him in Hell. Maybe I just knew how to hold a grudge.
I was jolted out of my thoughts by a warm, gentle touch against wrist. I knew, without having to think about it, that it was Jesse. Not just because he had offered to watch over me, which was sweet in a protective-male-BS sort of way, but because I had already 'synched' with his bio-signs. One of the more interesting effects of my mutancy, also one of the less controllable ones. Clairvoyance, second sight, incorporated a lot of abilities without giving the user any real control of them. Just an on and off switch that oft malfunctioned. The random visions of very bad memories, from other people no less, was just one of the perks. And Brennan wondered why anyone might be just the tad bit bitter about having mutant powers. Some days I was just amazed I wasn't homicidal about it, occasional idle death-to-Adam thoughts withstanding.
As long as he remained touching me, and he seemed in no hurry to let go, I could tap into him mentally, read his thoughts, feel his feelings, see what he thought of me or of Adam, even find out his best dream and worst fear. It took more self-control than I would even admit out loud to keep from doing just that. Good girl of the year I might not be, but voyeurism was still lower than my standards would go. Well, most days.
I blinked rapidly, drawing a sharp intake of breath, trying to shake off the trance-like state I had been resting in. "Interesting little fact. Sedatives? Not all that effective on me." Jesse jumped back as if I had slapped him, making me wonder exactly what he had been thinking after all. Then, once the vegetative state the sedative had rendered me in wore off, the pain returned, not as bad as before, but I suddenly really didn't care whatever it was Jesse had been thinking. Of course, the same thing that made sedatives nearly useless to me also affected sleeping pills, most types of anesthesia, and every painkiller known to man.
"Are you in pain?"
I blinked, knowing my face was the perfect mirror of sarcasm. "No, after all, I find getting cut up all kinds of fun."
He ignored that. "Do you want something for it?"
"Yes. Do you have anything that'll work? No. Pain killers work about as well as sedatives. Bio-chemistry and all that jazz." Strictly speaking he did have something that would help, but it wasn't the kind of something that came in neatly-labeled little vials for consumption.
"Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
If that wasn't a loaded question. I considered my answer, finally settling on a compromise. "Two things actually. One, don't tell Adam I'm awake yet. Two, can you find me some clothes? Mine kind of got cut up and these, whatever they are, aren't all that comfortable." I had just noticed I was in different clothing than I remembered starting out in, which in another situation might have been embarrassing, not that I was easily embarrassed. Of course, I had decided to not think about who had changed my clothes while I was out, so that probably had something to do with it.
Jesse nodded. "I can put off telling Adam for a couple of hours. With the clothes, you're not really Shal's or Emma's size."
"I just want something soft and too big for me, doesn't really matter who the clothes belong to." I replied.
He smiled. "Alright, I'll go get something. Be back in a minute." He turned towards the cabinet then suddenly phased out and disappeared through the wall.
I grinned, cool trick. Looking down, I inspected my wounds. The arm was flawless, healed, though I could feel the pain where the wound had been, and my ribs were much the same. My skin was still pale, after all they hadn't performed cosmetic surgery or anything, but no longer the sickly shade of cold, dead flesh. All and all I felt better.
Jesse reappeared then, phasing back through the wall, now carrying something. Clothes. He hands them over to me, half-placing them in my lap, and I take them. Soft clothing. Soft clothing and some hot tea to drink sounds like heaven right about now.
"Thanks." I pulled the top item off of the pile, shaking it out. It's a long-sleeve shirt, black and made of cotton, cut for someone with broad shoulders. I slip it over my head, pushing my hair- more dark red than blonde- out from under the collar of the shirt that trapped it, and the material billows around me, making it easy to remove the black strip of elastic material without flashing Jesse. The hem is ratted, like someone had torn out the seam in boredom, and the material is well-worn, making the cotton soft to the touch, obviously someone's favorite shirt. I shook out the second piece of clothing, girl's sweats, and turned to Jesse is amusement.
"Shal's." He replied. "They might be a little long, but Emma's taller."
I raised an eyebrow. "You got Shal to lend me some sweats?"
He glanced at the floor sheepishly. "Well, actually, she was talking with Adam, so, I kind of didn't ask." He smiled. "I'm sure she won't mind when she finds out though."
I thought he was wrong about that but I shrugged. "It's all Greek to me."
"Huh?"
I laughed. "The Greeks won the Trojan war by appearing to surrender, but setting up a trap in their peace offering, a wooden horse. So, I'm just saying, like the Greeks, it's better not to look a gift horse in the mouth." I shook my head. "It's a thing." I swung my legs over the side of the medical bed I was sitting on, happy to feel no pain in the ankle that had been bothering me before I had collapsed. Still, when I stood, I gingerly tested the pressure before fully sliding off the bed. Nothing. The T-shirt Jesse had brought me fell to my knees, covering the shorts I had on. I pulled the sweats on over them before leaning over to roll up the legs so I wouldn't step on them. Then, dressed, I stood there, unsure of what to do.
"How long will it take to get me a new identity?" I asked Jesse.
"A good one? A couple of days."
"So, no quietly slipping out the back then?" I sighed. "Damn."
"It's not that bad here, Adam already has a guest room set up for you and everything." He tried to look reassuring, but the only thing that was going to reassure me was Adam magically disappearing for the duration of my stay.
"Jesse, dear, it's not the where, it's the who." I tried to look calm and hopeful but I know I failed miserably. "I suppose it could be worse."
Of course, if he had asked me how right then, I wouldn't have had an answer. I shook my head, pushing the sick feeling curling in my stomach down as far as I could, and smiled more convincingly this time. "I don't suppose you have some tea."
He laughed, the first genuine laugh I had heard from him, and replied, grinning, "Yeah, we have tea. Emma's practically single-handedly supporting the tea business at large."
"I heard that." A willowy red-head said from the doorway. In her hands was a mug of steaming liquid. She smiled broadly at me. "I noticed you were awake and thought you could use some of this."
She handed me the cup and I sniffed at the drink it held. Spearmint. I smiled happily, taking a sip. "Mmm, you read my mind." I paused, looking over at her. "You don't actually read minds. do you?"
Emma shook her head, never breaking the soft smile. "Nope, just emotions."
I drank more of the tea, watching Emma, and to a lesser extent Jesse, for a moment before replying. Neither of them flinched. I grinned. "Hmm, 'kay." At least Adam knew how to pick 'em.