[We return from commercial with Leonardo Leonardo at a big podium on a
stage in front of the Quick Stop. The banner above the podium reads, "QUICK
STOP BUYING DAY".]
Leonardo: Simple folk of Leonardo, I shall purchase the block of stores today and continue my evil plans!
[For some reason, the people in the crowd rejoice and cheer. But our two clerks are not rejoicing in the crowd. Jay and Silent Bob can be seen from behind the podium, smoking and playing with something we can't see.] I shall sign on this dotted line and the Quick Stop shall be mine! HAHAHA!! [The crowd cheers again when we see a horned calf helmet hit Leonardo on the head, Leonardo falls. Mooby climbs up on the stage.]
Mooby: NO! We shall not lose the Quick Stop! NEVER! [He thrusts his fist into the air.]
Dante: Why is Mooby still here? [Randal shrugs and stands up on a nearby soapbox.]
Randal: That cartoon calf is right! Don't you people want to stay free? Don't you people want to ask retarded questions that you can so easily answer?! HUH!? [The crowd is silent and someone coughs. In this time, Leonardo recovers and gets up, getting ready to sign.]
Leonardo: AND WITH THIS SIGNATURE, THE CLERKS WILL BELONG TO ME!!! [He starts to sign when a monkey jumps on Leonardo from behind the stage and pulls him off.]
Randal: Patient Zero? [Dante rolls his eyes and hops up on the stage.]
Dante: The Quick Stop shall remain free! Like the time I went to see Episode One with Randal…[The screen gets wavy as we have a flashback. Randal and Dante are watching the movie.]
Randal: TAKE IT OFF, QUEENIE!!
Dante: I PAID FOR THIS!?! UGH!! [They both get up and walk into another theater- "What Women Want" (which is showing two years early for some reason.) DUN DUN DUN!]
Randal: Who wants to keep the block of stores? Like you, Steve-Dave! Who helped you find Batman & Robin for you?
Steve-Dave: Well, it was the guys at the Big Choice.
Randal: RIGHT! And you, Mrs. Corin! Who helped you assemble you car when Dante blew it up?!
Mrs. Corin: The mechanic that used to be across the street from this block of stores.
Dante: EXACTLY!! And Randal! Who got you that first aid kit when you tried to fly off the roof of the store?
Randal: Burnboy did!! [Jay appears next to him.]
Dante: NO! IT WAS ME!
Randal: Oh yeah.. Burnboy was the one that told me I could fly! [Jay slinks away, putting Silent Bob in his place.]
Mooby: Let's keep the little guys! Viva La Moobylution!! [Mooby ties up LL with a microphone wire and drags him back to the tower that looks like a 'big bong'.]
Randal: YEAH!! WE KEEP OUR..Crappy jobs..whoo..[Crowd cheers anyway.]
Dante: This was one of our longest adventures ever, I feel like this won't be interrupted- [End Segment- "Computers with Jay and Silent Bob"]
[Two kids are siting at a computer, playing a game with computer Dante and Randal.]
Kid 1: I beat this game already. We need a new one.
Jay: Hey, kids!
Kid 2: Hey! It's Jay and Tons of Fun!!
Silent Bob: Actually, that's Silent Bob.
Charles Barkley: You tell him, Bob!
Jay: Didn't that "Science Says" beating teach you anything!?
Charles Barkley: Y-yes…[Slinks off, afraid.]
Jay: Anyways, kids, I got something better than computer games to show you. Silent Bob, punch it up!
[Silent Bob starts typing on the computer for a few seconds, then something we can't see appears on the screen.]
Kid 1: WOW! I didn't think that could fit there!!
Kid 2: YEAH!! Thanks Jay, Thanks Silent Bob!
Jay: Sure thing. And remember..
Silent Bob: Always search for the best stuff.
Jay: What!? You can search for better stuff?
Silent Bob: No, I'm just saying that because the author is padding and he can't think of anything else.
Jay: What auth- [End credits.]
[Author's notes: Ok, folks, the ending was messed up because I really ran out of ideas. And what the kids saw on the computer can be left to the imagination. Please tell me if I should write another one, ok?]
Leonardo: Simple folk of Leonardo, I shall purchase the block of stores today and continue my evil plans!
[For some reason, the people in the crowd rejoice and cheer. But our two clerks are not rejoicing in the crowd. Jay and Silent Bob can be seen from behind the podium, smoking and playing with something we can't see.] I shall sign on this dotted line and the Quick Stop shall be mine! HAHAHA!! [The crowd cheers again when we see a horned calf helmet hit Leonardo on the head, Leonardo falls. Mooby climbs up on the stage.]
Mooby: NO! We shall not lose the Quick Stop! NEVER! [He thrusts his fist into the air.]
Dante: Why is Mooby still here? [Randal shrugs and stands up on a nearby soapbox.]
Randal: That cartoon calf is right! Don't you people want to stay free? Don't you people want to ask retarded questions that you can so easily answer?! HUH!? [The crowd is silent and someone coughs. In this time, Leonardo recovers and gets up, getting ready to sign.]
Leonardo: AND WITH THIS SIGNATURE, THE CLERKS WILL BELONG TO ME!!! [He starts to sign when a monkey jumps on Leonardo from behind the stage and pulls him off.]
Randal: Patient Zero? [Dante rolls his eyes and hops up on the stage.]
Dante: The Quick Stop shall remain free! Like the time I went to see Episode One with Randal…[The screen gets wavy as we have a flashback. Randal and Dante are watching the movie.]
Randal: TAKE IT OFF, QUEENIE!!
Dante: I PAID FOR THIS!?! UGH!! [They both get up and walk into another theater- "What Women Want" (which is showing two years early for some reason.) DUN DUN DUN!]
Randal: Who wants to keep the block of stores? Like you, Steve-Dave! Who helped you find Batman & Robin for you?
Steve-Dave: Well, it was the guys at the Big Choice.
Randal: RIGHT! And you, Mrs. Corin! Who helped you assemble you car when Dante blew it up?!
Mrs. Corin: The mechanic that used to be across the street from this block of stores.
Dante: EXACTLY!! And Randal! Who got you that first aid kit when you tried to fly off the roof of the store?
Randal: Burnboy did!! [Jay appears next to him.]
Dante: NO! IT WAS ME!
Randal: Oh yeah.. Burnboy was the one that told me I could fly! [Jay slinks away, putting Silent Bob in his place.]
Mooby: Let's keep the little guys! Viva La Moobylution!! [Mooby ties up LL with a microphone wire and drags him back to the tower that looks like a 'big bong'.]
Randal: YEAH!! WE KEEP OUR..Crappy jobs..whoo..[Crowd cheers anyway.]
Dante: This was one of our longest adventures ever, I feel like this won't be interrupted- [End Segment- "Computers with Jay and Silent Bob"]
[Two kids are siting at a computer, playing a game with computer Dante and Randal.]
Kid 1: I beat this game already. We need a new one.
Jay: Hey, kids!
Kid 2: Hey! It's Jay and Tons of Fun!!
Silent Bob: Actually, that's Silent Bob.
Charles Barkley: You tell him, Bob!
Jay: Didn't that "Science Says" beating teach you anything!?
Charles Barkley: Y-yes…[Slinks off, afraid.]
Jay: Anyways, kids, I got something better than computer games to show you. Silent Bob, punch it up!
[Silent Bob starts typing on the computer for a few seconds, then something we can't see appears on the screen.]
Kid 1: WOW! I didn't think that could fit there!!
Kid 2: YEAH!! Thanks Jay, Thanks Silent Bob!
Jay: Sure thing. And remember..
Silent Bob: Always search for the best stuff.
Jay: What!? You can search for better stuff?
Silent Bob: No, I'm just saying that because the author is padding and he can't think of anything else.
Jay: What auth- [End credits.]
[Author's notes: Ok, folks, the ending was messed up because I really ran out of ideas. And what the kids saw on the computer can be left to the imagination. Please tell me if I should write another one, ok?]