Hi everyone! Thanks for the FB!! I'm really happy that you're all enjoying it so far!! Well, when I said I was gonna post today I obviously forgot that it's Mother's Day! Oh well, I said I'd post so here it is anyway. This is probably not the greatest part in the story…I kinda went a little overboard, I think, but hopefully it isn't that bad.
~ Part Four: Fire & Fear ~
Obi-Wan:
Something was wrong. Qui-Gon would never ignore me, especially since he'd sense my worry and fear through our bond. He had to be unconscious, it was the only explanation. But where? How close to the fire was he and what had happened?
I shot a wary look at the door that he had disappeared through. The fire was still far enough away but the dark grey smoke that was entering this room was enough to make my body shake and my heart tighten. I had to go see where he was but did I have the strength? Would I be able to face the thing that had haunted all my nightmares for almost two months now? Would I be able to lock away my fear and forget about how close fire had come to taking my life?
If I closed my eyes I could still see the dancing flames as they leapt closer and closer to me, casting their eerie yellow glow over my body. In the silence of my mind I could still hear the crackling noise the wicked fire had made as it eagerly consumed the wood that sustained it. All across my tense and fearful body I could still feel the fire leaping onto my skin and burning away my consciousness as it surrounded me painfully in its searing embrace. I could remember it all so clearly – the heat, the pain – all of it. Could I face that again?
I had nearly burned to death and now I didn't think I could handle being anywhere near a real fire. How would I manage if in my dreams I was too scared to move? How could I simply walk down that corridor, knowing where it would lead me? Qui-Gon – that was my answer. For him, I had to. I couldn't just leave him there to die. I had to try and save him.
I glanced about the room once more, making sure no one needed my help, before bounding off towards the door. The first few steps were easy, as if the reality of what I was doing hadn't quite sunk it yet, but as soon as I entered the hallway everything changed. My body trembled despite my noblest attempts to still it and my legs were heavy and reluctant to move. Poorly suppressed fear expanded to engulf me and as if I was heading towards certain doom I had to force myself to move. Each footfall against the cold tiles of the floor was a loud reminder of exactly where I was going. As much as I tried to keep my mind focused on finding Qui-Gon I couldn't stop myself from picturing the cackling flames that I was so afraid of and that ever present picture in my mind only increased my fright.
It was as if the clutching fear in my heart was hungrily engulfing all my air and after only minutes of jogging I found myself gasping. It seemed as if my body was conspiring against me for my heart was beating at such a fast rate that I thought it would burst from my chest. My usual endurance was gone; every muscle in my body was sore from the tenseness of my anxiety.
My skin tingled in warning when by perceptible leaps and bounds the air thickened and sizzled. Nearly unbearable heat flooded into me in sweltering waves, serving as an agonizing reminder of the fire I was closing in on. Sweat beaded on my skin and rolled down my forehead to sting at my eyes. I subconsciously reached up to wipe it from my face and found my skin sticky and clammy like the suffocating air around me.
Smoke continued to filter through the hallways; the air was becoming hazier with the thumping of my every heartbeat. Before there had only been the faintest sign of them but now the fumes were filling the air with their dark obscurity and my throat was beginning to rasp in protest. The already thick air was almost impossible to breathe without gagging on and to make matters worse my eyes were beginning to sting persistently.
With short and uneven breathing I struggled to gasp air into my lungs but as soon as the creeping thickness tickled at my sensitive throat I quickly coughed it back up again. I sucked in as much air as possible but again my own ragged gasps reverberated off the walls when it was wrenched back out of my body. My steps faltered. Convulsive coughs twisted their way through my body and I gagged several times on the thick smoke before I recover my breath.
Leaning over to rest my hands against my dirty, sweat-soaked pants I struggled to regain control of my body. Using careful and slow deep breaths I filtered my weariness out of my body and gentled the rate of my overworked heart. I would not be able to help Qui-Gon if I collapsed before I reached him. I couldn't let my fear reflect so deeply on my body – I had to be strong. I had to do it for my Master.
It took me only a few seconds to calm my pounding heart but I knew that easing my body of the slight tremors that wracked it would be impossible. I did not have that time to waste especially since I knew that the only way would be to erase my terror and that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Fortitude surged in my veins. Qui-Gon needed me.
By the time I straightened my body again the smoke had begun burning at my sensitive eyes. As a result tears rapidly formed to blur my already hazed vision. I blinked several times to clear them away but it was useless. It was my body's natural reaction to the fumes and a warning that I probably didn't have much time before the smoke became too thick to breathe. That meant that the fire was closer than I suspected. The thought sent tremors down my spine and chilled my body. Despite the increasing heat that was inundating me I felt coldness both within and without my body. I shivered.
Determination that almost matched the strength of my fear flowed through me. I could *not* let myself concentrate on my fears. I would deal with the fire when I reached it. Right now my Master needed me and I wouldn't give up. I had to find him. I couldn't let him die because I was too scared to fight a little smoke and fire.
I pulled up the edge of my tunic to cover my mouth and nose – knowing that it would filter out some of the smoke and make it easier to breathe. Unfortunately there was little I could do to protect my eyes except to blink rapidly to momentarily ease the pain. I closed my eyes for a few long moments and wiped away the tears that rolled down my face. Then I started running again.
As I moved the heat intensified to the point where it was almost thick enough to touch. Within moments my breaths were coming in short, painful gasps again and the tears had combined with the smoke to obscure my vision almost completely. Despite it all – despite my screaming body and my fearful heart – I refused to stop. I had told my Master that I wouldn't let him down – I couldn't fail him now. I couldn't let my fear overcome me. I had to find him.
With sure and steady steps I rounded the corner – steps that faltered when my feet glued themselves to the ground and left me frozen in place. My mind still commanded that I move but my legs refused to work, just as every other part of me was suddenly determined to stay still. My eyes were the only things that responded to my demands and I almost wished that they too had remained uncooperative.
Before me was a hall of rippling fire. Burning hot flames slithered and leapt over the ceiling, making it look like a blazing sea. Thick blankets of smoke billowed down from above me, causing the air to turn almost opaque in its darkness. Long, laughing tendrils reached out with their destructive fangs to latch onto the walls of the corridor and soon the fire was moving its path to consume them as well.
In less than half a second the calmness that I had wasted precious time to attain was slipping from my weak grasp. My heart resumed in previous thudding and fear, instead of blood, coursed through my veins. My wheezing gasps were like background noise to the terror that was pulsating mercilessly through my body.
I wanted to move – needed to move – but my body refused. My legs and arms had suddenly become too heavy for the weak muscles of my body and my will power didn't seem strong enough to drive me anymore. My heart and soul wanted to find my Master – wanted to save him – but it was my fear that was stubbornly controlling me and I doubted that I was powerful enough to fight it off.
As I watched, paralyzed in horror, a piece of burning wood fell from the inferno that was the ceiling and landed on the floor ahead of me in a pile of thick smoke and flying sparks. Cackling at this new opportunity for annihilation the fire raged away from the wood and quickly began devouring the floor, racing towards me with deadly speed.
Fear glazed over my mind but even in the face of my horror there was one coherent thought that kept filtering through my mind. Qui-Gon, I screamed silently, where was he? If the fire had already progressed this far and I hadn't run into him on my way here it could only mean that… No! My Master wasn't dead. He couldn't be. I would have felt that and our bond was still intact. Then what had happened to him?
Suddenly my stinging, blurred, and terrified eyes caught sight of him. There at the end of the hallway, amidst the haze of smoke, was the crumpled form of my Master. He was lying, sprawled across the floor, completely immobile and seemingly lifeless. His body was thus far untouched but I knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. Even as the thought crept through my mind the flames were leaping towards him with their burning claws of hunger.
Without even willing it, I took half a step forward.
Red-orange fear tinted my vision. The world spun around me, turning everything into a swirling blur of color and panic. The flames, cruel and persistent in their destruction, reflected in my eyes and marred my mind. They seemed be taunting me, laughing at me, and burning all the faster simply to reach me.
I collapsed to the floor as the cold hand of terror grasped my heart in its relentless grip. The flames danced in my vision, springing up and falling back down – casting terrifying shadows over the floor of the hallway. Red-orange hands reached out towards me from the end of every tendril and the crackling than filled the air was louder even that my chocking gasps and pounding heart.
The fire was so hot and I could feel it, just five or six feet away from me as it raced forward from the piece of burning wood. Using its weightless alley – smoke – and my own fear, the fire would subdue me before it ever touched me. By the time it reached me I would be unconscious or too scared to move and then it would do to me just what the other fire had.
Images of my body, burned and charred, cascaded before my eyes. Sensations of what it had felt like as the tendrils had seared at my skin flooded my memory and sounds of my own screams echoed in my ears. The memory of the hot pain, spreading out over every inch of my body, overwhelmed my senses.
Force, I couldn't do this. I couldn't move, I couldn't save Qui-Gon or myself.
The smoke was thickening in the air with each passing second and even through the cloth of my shirt it was filtering into my throat and burning at my lungs. Streaks of tears wet my cheeks as the liquid continued to flow from my eyes. The stinging was almost unbearable in its cutting pain. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I was helpless.
I crumpled on the floor, now shaking uncontrollably. The fire… It would burn the life away from me. It had almost succeeded last time but now there was no one there to save me. And no one to save Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon… I couldn't leave him there. I had to save him. I had to drag him away from the fire and into safety but I couldn't even move. I couldn't think and all I could see was the black smoke and leaping flames of the fire.
Panicked thoughts hazed across my mind. I had to get up…I had to do something. I had to get away from here. I had to take Qui-Gon and run. I couldn't just sit here, frozen in fear. I had to move, I had to…
The fire, it was so close now. The heat was unbearable and I could already feel the hot sparks that were floating in the air as the tendrils moved closer and closer to me. My eyes itched and burned so badly now that I couldn't even keep them open. Pressing my hands against my face I tried to ease the stinging but it was of no use. I had more to worry about than my eyes. The air I was gasping into my lungs was mostly smoke and my body was violently rejecting it as soon as it touched the now raw flesh of my throat. Coughs tore through me, sending flashes of pain through my stomach and chest. My thoughts hazed.
My head was throbbing so badly that I could barely think anymore and I could feel the heat as it danced mirthfully just inches away from me. Together, it and my fear were mocking me. Laughing as they plotted to conquer me. An empty, burning sensation of pain and desperation filled my lungs as my body began to shut down from the lack of oxygen.
The fire, it had almost reached me and I couldn't move… I couldn't save myself… It would burn me, enveloping me in an embrace of pain and I would be helpless to stop it. It was over, I couldn't breathe…I couldn't…
My thoughts dimmed as I continued to gag harshly on the burning air. Consciousness was fading rapidly and all I could do was think of the fire, and of Qui-Gon. The inferno had reached him now, I could see its flames touching his unmoving form and I still couldn't move. I couldn't move to save him or myself. I was a failure and now both of us would die because of it.
TBC…
Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for all the FB, I hope you're having a great weekend! The next part will be up on Wednesday or Thursday.