Author's Notes: Elvish is in ' '. Only the unknown characters belong to me! There is now G/H slash in this fic! This fic takes place sometime between the Prologue and the first chapter of 'Reasons'. The story is now going very dark; implied torture, rape, etc… Takes place a month later…

Part 11. The Truth

Haldir sat beside the spring, fingering the blade in his right hand. The sounds of nature echoed all around him, yet the young Elf did not rejoice with the animals. His heart no longer sang at the sheer beauty of nature, when he rarely saw it. No joy came from singing or laughing or even taunting others slyly.

The grass beside the smoothly flowing brook was soft and comfortable, but ignored. A bird flew overhead, singing sweetly, yet it was not looked at. Even the light of the sun failed to cheer Haldir this day. 

His face was covered with fresh bruises, but it was not his physical pain that hurt Haldir so. It was the consuming grief inside of him, threatening to kill him if he let it slip for even a moment. The cruel words Rissan had spoken to him just an hour ago still echoed in Haldir's ears, as genuine, silver tears splashed onto the ground from his eyes.

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Flashback

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Haldir had purposefully sought Rissan out, for he could no longer ignore the strange changes within him, and wanted an explanation. Part of him knew he was being foolish for even speaking to him again, after Rissan had threatened to kill Glorfindel and every other Elf in Lothlorien if he told anyone what he had done to him that night. And it wasn't the last time it was ever done to him.

Rissan knew when he would be alone and took advantage of it whenever it wouldn't arouse suspicion from anyone else. This time, however, Haldir was planning on getting the truth out of the older Elf- what did he want with him?

As if summoned by his thoughts, Rissan stepped in front of him, out of a small glade of trees. Laughter and cruelty shone in his dark grey eyes, as he smirked, 'Looking for me, youngling?'

'Yes,' Haldir snapped, forgetting the threat. 'What did you do to me? And why?'

'You're here because of that?' Rissan burst out laughing at the naïve, foolish younger Elf. 'I think it was pretty obvious what I did-do to you… As for why… Why not?'

Haldir flushed with shame at those words. 'That's not what I meant and you know it! Enlighten me; you must have some reason for being as cruel and hateful as you are!'

Rissan sighed, 'The impatience of youth. I could have chosen any Elf, Haldir, but I chose you, and you want to know why?' He continued without waiting for an answer. 'Your soul is stronger than almost any Elven souls, even my own… You were the perfect choice for my plan. The fact that you were also handsome merely made the decision for me.'

'What plan?' Haldir demanded, paling slightly. He didn't really understand what Rissan meant about his soul, but didn't care right now. He wanted answers.

'I've been preparing you for some time now, Haldir. You are going to have my child, so that it will have a strong a soul as your own and be able to look Galadriel in the eyes without flinching before it kills her and Lord Celeborn,' Rissan stated firmly.

Haldir scoffed outwardly, 'That's impossible.' Inwardly, a coldness was settling inside of him. Could it be true? He wouldn't put anything past Rissan anymore.

Rissan shook his head. 'There are charms for allowing a male Elf to bear a child. The child's blood will then be used to bind you to me, keeping you under my control.'

'I'll never have your child!' Haldir retorted, anger giving him strength. 'You're worse than Sauron and Saruman combined!' His heart sank at the cold smile that Rissan gave him, before he uttered six words that shattered Haldir's strength of will.

Then the evil one left, laughing.

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Haldir fingered his blade again. Rissan seemed pretty confident about this entire plan of his. But there was something that the twisted one had not thought of. He, Haldir, was willing to be denied entrance to the Halls of Mandos by committing suicide.

It was the only way to save everyone. And for same insane reason, Haldir kept wishing that Glorfindel was here, to lend him his strength as he had done when they had fought against that creature.

'It's too late…'

You drove him away with your foolish pride, Haldir sternly told himself, holding his bent knees against his chest with his free arm. Sobs wracked through him, grief threatening him with death and more. There was nothing left for him now. Ever since he had yelled at Glorfindel to leave him alone, the Elven lord had done just that.

Barely acknowledging him, except to ask a few times if he was all right, Glorfindel was requested to help train the young Elves that wished to become a Guardian, like Haldir was.

'It's too late…'

This is your fault; you should have told him the truth when you had the chance. But you didn't, because you were ashamed and afraid. You have no one to blame but yourself. You should have been stronger; you should have known the truth, you should have seen Rissan for what he truly was! Or so Haldir tried to convince himself.

There was no way out of this. Either he lived and Rissan did what he had planned and killed his Lord and Lady, not to mention everyone else, or he ended it all by taking his own life. Haldir knew it wouldn't stop Rissan from choosing someone else to do this to, but it would cause some suspicion and doubt among the others, especially- Haldir hoped- Glorfindel. The Elven lord knew that Rissan had hurt him before.

'It's too late…'

There was no escape; death or unwilling victim. Haldir had tried to think of another way, but he couldn't. There was no other way… You know this, he argued with himself.

'You already do…'

As if in a daze, Haldir brought the knife up and the bright blade gleamed in the light. With the blade aimed directly at his left wrist, Haldir brought it down swiftly, preparing to end it all… To end this madness. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the end.

A firm grip caught his right forearm, preventing the blade from doing more than pricking his skin. Haldir opened his azure eyes and looked up into the shocked and horrified face of the tall Elf standing above him. Wow… Haldir dully thought. He is actually showing emotion for once.

'Haldir, what in the name of Elbereth were you doing?' a familiar voice demanded.

The 'Lorien Elf stammered, 'G-Glorfindel?' He froze, before muttering, 'Isn't it obvious?' He reached up and deliberately grabbed the blade of his knife in his left hand, not caring as he squeezed it hard, ignoring the blood that began running down his arm.

Glorfindel gaped when Haldir purposefully hurt himself, and he grabbed the knife with his free hand and flung it away, hearing it strike the ground. 'What is wrong with you? Tell me, because I'm not going away until you do!'

'Why do you care?' Haldir hissed, before trying to lunge for the dagger.

'Stop this!' Glorfindel said firmly, winding one of his arms around Haldir, tightly enough to keep the younger Elf from moving his arms. His other hand grabbed Haldir's waist, immobilizing him completely..

Haldir shouted, 'Let ME GO!' He twisted frantically, almost sobbing. 'Please!! Let me go! I don't want this, I'm so tired of it, just let me die!!'

Glorfindel was heartbroken at those words, and what it might mean, especially when Haldir burst into tears, sobbing hard. Releasing his arms from trapping Haldir, the older Elf held him close, letting him cry against his chest.

The older Elven lord was shocked at how dim the light was around Haldir; his natural light was much weaker than it had been the last time Glorfindel had been close enough to see it.

'What's wrong?' Glorfindel gently asked, as he rubbed Haldir's back with one of his hands.

'Stop,' Haldir sobbed. 'I don't want it anymore… I-I don't know what to do…'

Glorfindel continued holding Haldir, until he fell asleep, looking exhausted. His golden hair and face rested on the older Elf's chest, and Glorfindel lifted Haldir into his arms, carrying him towards his talen.

The Elven lord had known something was wrong with Haldir, but the younger Elf went out of his way to avoid him, barely speaking to him. No matter what he had said, Haldir had blown him off, until Glorfindel had given up, in frustration.

But his anger had melted away when he'd found Haldir trying to kill himself. He still cared for Haldir, and the last month had been agonizing as he had watched Haldir change from being a young, exuberant Elf into a silent, withdrawn Elf who no longer taunted anyone any longer. He had become pale and hardly spoke any more, isolating himself from everyone, and the haunted look in his eyes was saddening.

Glorfindel shifted Haldir into one arm, his considerable strength easily holding Haldir's light form, as he climbed up to where Haldir's talen was. Shock went through him again, for a second time, when he saw that the talen had broken things thrown all over the floor and the bed was unmade. Sheets were strewn across the wooden floor, and what looked like dried blood covered them. Dents were in the wall, looking like someone had either hit the wall in anger… Or had been shoved against it, Glorfindel suddenly thought, looking at Haldir's bruised face.

Turning, Glorfindel climbed back down the tree and went to his own talen, glad that most of the Lothlorien Elves were out hunting, including Rissan. He saw no one as he carried Haldir up the tree, into his talen. It was neatly made, with his belongings all where they belonged. Books were on the shelves, along with some healing salves, herbs, and bandages. His floor was clean, and all of his clothes were in the small dresser near the circular window. The large bed was made with soft, silk and velvet blankets, until Glorfindel pulled the covers back with one hand, long enough to tenderly place Haldir on the soft mattress. Then the dark blue and green covers were pulled around the exhausted Elf who slept like he hadn't slept in days.

Glorfindel took a seat beside the bed after he cleaned, treated, and bandaged the younger Elf's left hand, intending to keep an eye on Haldir until he woke. When he did, the Elven lord intended to learn the truth from him on what had happened to him to make him want to die like that.

Haldir whimpered in his sleep, Rissan's words still plaguing him inside of his soul.

'It's too late; you already do…'

To be continued