Author's Notes: Elvish is in ' '. Only the unknown characters belong to me! There is G/H slash in this fic! This fic takes place sometime between the Prologue and the first chapter of 'Reasons'. The story is now very dark; mentioned rape and attempted suicide, torture, mental, and physical abuse… Takes place hours later, near nightfall.

Part 12. Explanation

Haldir didn't know where he was when he first re-focused his eyes. The last thing he remembered was Glorfindel confronting him about trying to kill himself, before he had burst into tears, tired of the pain, the shame, and the inner agony he was going through.

Could he not even hold onto a shred of his dignity, Haldir berated himself, feeling even more ashamed as he remembered crying against the Elven lord, who had held him close until he had fallen asleep, from sheer exhaustion.

Glorfindel shifted slightly in his chair, drawing Haldir's attention. The 'Lorien Elf looked at the Elven lord silently, before lowering his gaze, sitting up slowly. He didn't feel worthy of looking the handsome older Elf in the eyes any longer, not after what Rissan had done to him.

Glorfindel frowned when Haldir was reluctant to look him in the eyes, and he cleared his throat, to prepare to speak. 'What happened to you, Haldir?' he questioned, a stern note in his voice. He would know if the younger Elf lied to him, and if Haldir did, Glorfindel was going to force him to admit the truth.

'I… Nothing,' Haldir blurted out, remembering Rissan's promises of death… death to his family and friends if he told anyone.

'Don't lie to me,' Glorfindel said grimly. 'Tell me the truth, unless you want me informing the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien of my suspicions.'

Haldir flushed horribly, biting his lower lip as he squeezed his eyes shut, wishing that he was anywhere else. 'W-Where do you want me to start?' he mumbled, feeling more tears pricking at his cobalt eyes.

Glorfindel sighed in relief, relaxing from his stern posture, looking directly at Haldir. 'Start from what happened that night I tried to talk to you… and you yelled at me to leave you alone," he told the young one, a gentler note in his voice.

'I-I… Could you close the door first?' Haldir requested, not wanting anyone else to overhear this. Or for Rissan to find out.

A dark eyebrow raised in slight surprise, but Glorfindel did as Haldir asked, before returning to his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he waited for the younger Elf to tell his story, knowing that it was going to be painful.

Haldir winced. 'I didn't mean to yell at you like that… I was upset…' He took a deep breath, struggling not to cry again. 'A-After we returned to the heart of Lothlorien, I went… to my talen to get some rest, and because I was still upset with you. When I got there, he was waiting for me…'

'Who?' Glorfindel sharply asked, narrowing his own dark blue eyes.

'I… Rissan,' Haldir finally said. 'He attacked me and, eventually, knocked me out by choking me. When I came to, he was… And when he was done, he told me not to say anything to anyone, or he'd kill them. S-So I didn't… I didn't think anyone would believe me and he…'

Glorfindel winced inside. 'That's why you wanted me to leave. I should have stayed,' he replied, cursing himself. 'What else happened, besides that?' A compassionate look was in his eyes, and to Haldir, Glorfindel no longer looked like the stern Elven lord he was known to be.

Haldir squeezed his eyes shut again. 'He… He did it to me more than once, when I was supposed to be on patrol alone…'

'How did you not die?' Glorfindel was beyond angry; he was ready to kill Rissan for raping Haldir and threatening him if he dared to tell anyone. Haldir belonged to him, Glorfindel angrily seethed, and no one was going to get away with hurting him like this.

'He said he chose me- because my soul was strong or something. I didn't really understand what he meant," Haldir softly admitted.

Glorfindel carefully inspected the 'Lorien Elf, still seeing a strange weakness in Haldir's light. 'What are you not saying, Haldir?'

Haldir choked back a sob. 'I confronted him earlier today about why… He said that he wanted me to have his child, so that he could use it to kill my Lord and Lady… I-I told him I would never do so, and he told me, 'It's too late; you already do…' I…' Tears were streaming down his young face in earnest, blinding him.

'What?' Glorfindel hissed, blazing fury rising in him. He moved seats, changing to the bed, and took Haldir in his arms, feeling hot tears soaking through his shirt.

'I'm too young for this, Glorfindel- I'm not even 1000 yet!' Haldir wept, not caring how young he looked or sounded to the Elven lord he was still attracted to. 'I-I wasn't even planning to have a child, at least not until I had a permanent attachment and discussed it with the one I would eventually have given my heart and l-love to…'

Glorfindel slowly stated, 'Did he cast the spell on you himself or were you made capable of bearing children by someone of your choosing?' One of his hands brushed away the tears gently, tilting the young face towards him slightly.

Haldir swallowed hard, gulping in air. 'I-I think he did it, he said he'd been preparing me for it for some time… I don't remember him doing it to me; he must have done it after he knocked me out by choking me like that…'

That was a serious misuse of magic, Glorfindel knew, and enough to get Rissan banned from all Elven lands, if not imprisoned. Elven law forbid the killing of an Elf by another, but Glorfindel was sorely tempted to do it this time and ignore the law, as he tried to comfort the weeping Elf in his arms.

Haldir brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that wouldn't go away. He was surprised when two large hands cupped his face, forcing him to look directly at Glorfindel.

Glorfindel looked directly in Haldir's eyes, before he spoke. 'Listen to me, Haldir. What he did was wrong, and it was not your fault. Whatever happens, I will be your friend and stand beside you. He will harm you no longer.'

Haldir sniffed and nodded, surprised at how good it felt to not have such a secret plaguing him any longer. He was so tired, he had not slept for days, being stricken with nausea and his crippling grief. Glorfindel gently pushed Haldir back down onto his bed, telling the younger Elf without words to rest.

Weary, cobalt eyes met Glorfindel's deeper blue eyes, before Haldir yawned, without meaning to. Glorfindel placed his right hand on Haldir's forehead, focusing on the strength of his own soul, to help the young one relax enough to sleep. His own natural, Elven light shone brighter, like a twinkling star, making him look indescribably handsome to Haldir as it surrounded Glorfindel with a white aura, before the 'Lorien Elf succumbed to sleep once more.

Strong arms then lifted Haldir, cradling him against Glorfindel's chest. The Elven lord knew that Rissan would probably be back soon and looking for Haldir, and Glorfindel had no intention of letting the dark-haired Elf find the younger Elf, not until after he had spoken with Celeborn and Galadriel. And Glorfindel did not intend to leave Haldir alone anywhere until Rissan had been imprisoned or whatever Galadriel and Celeborn decided to do to punish him for his actions.

The older Elf glanced down at the young, attractive face that was streaked with tears and bruises, and grimly vowed that Rissan would not get away with hurting Haldir so badly. If it came to that… Glorfindel freed one of his hands long enough to smooth a few golden strands out of Haldir's face.

Then the tall Elven lord carried his precious burden over to the door, fumbling slightly to open the door, before making his way down the tree. He headed directly towards where the Lady and Lord of Lothlorien usually were; in their chairs in the heart of their forest.

The coming night did not impair Glorfindel's vision, for two reasons. His keen Elven sight, and the fact that Lothlorien never lost its light, which was rumored to come from Lady Galadriel herself. If anyone could determine whether or not Haldir was truly going to have a child, she could, the Rivendell Elf knew. And if it was true, Rissan would be lucky to survive his wrath.

As if she knew everything, Galadriel appeared before Glorfindel, a grave look in her wise eyes, offset by the paleness of her skin. Her long, golden hair flowed behind her, seemingly dancing on the air, much as her white, long gown did, in the night wind that was blowing softly through the trees.

'Come with me,' she said impassively, looking directly at the Elven lord, who nodded, following her as she led the way to a private clearing, where her mirror was located. A makeshift bed had been placed near the mirror, with white, silk sheets.

It was there that Glorfindel laid Haldir, who was so deeply entranced in sleep that he had not awakened, even when he was placed on the bed. His vacant eyes did not refocus on the two standing blond Elves who were looking at him silently, and had Haldir been awake, he would have flinched under such intense scrutiny from the Lady of the Golden Wood.

Galadriel then turned her daunting gaze onto Glorfindel. 'Celeborn and I have known for some time that Haldir is suffering terribly from a nearly fatal grief, but he never said a word about it and until he confessed his pain to another, we could do nothing to alleviate his pain,' she said, lifting her chin slightly as she threaded her fingers together, looking as impassive as ever.

'Are you certain that was the right thing to do?' Glorfindel couldn't help asking, feeling his own guilt and sorrow, intertwined with his anger. 'Haldir nearly killed himself and would have succeeded if I had not stopped him.'

'Indeed,' Galadriel said, before looking at the bruises across Haldir's face. 'It appears, in our endeavors to keep Lothlorien and its inhabitants safe from outside threats, that we failed to protect Haldir from internal threats. I heard what he spoke to you of; no secrets can be kept in Lothlorien for very long, especially such traumatic ones.'

Glorfindel asked, 'What is to be done to the one who did this to him?'

Galadriel murmured, 'Exile will be the least of his punishments, but I am not certain if that is wise. Haldir needs support from someone in this matter, for Celeborn and I can only remove the source of his torment. We cannot, however, heal the emotional trauma of what he has been gone through.'

'Rissan will not support Haldir through this, even if he bears a child or not. And what kind of a father could he be, forcing himself onto Haldir just to get what he wants?' Glorfindel argued, a frown on his face. He didn't want Rissan within a hundred feet of Haldir. 'I have already told Haldir that I will support him through whatever happens, and I mean to keep my word to him.'

'It will be hard for him…' Galadriel began. 'He is very young and frightened, Glorfindel; Haldir is not near an age where he should be worrying over whether or not he will bear a child conceived in the most appalling way of all, instead of a child of love.'

Glorfindel nodded. 'I know. It would hurt anyone to be in those circumstances, but Haldir is terrified and young, so young that he should not be facing this right now. Does he bear a child, Lady Galadriel?' An anxious note was in Glorfindel's voice because if he was, Haldir was going to be suffering a lot more than what he was already going through right now.

In response, Galadriel closed her eyes, before she opened them, telling Glorfindel the answer to his question silently in the depths of her unwavering gaze.

To be continued