Mr. Miagi's Banana factory owns NOTHING!!!
Fighting evil by moonlight
And also by day light
Never runs from a real fight!
He is the one named Sailor Ken.
He will never turn his back on a friend
He is always their to defend
Except when Gensai needs help with his Depends
He is the one named Sailor…
Sailor Sano!
Sailor Aoshi!
Sailor Saito!
Sailor Sojiro!
Has guest appearances by Cho
He is the one named Sailor Ken
He is the one named Sailor Ken
He is the one…
SAILOR KEN!!!
Sailor Kenshin R: Promise of the Beef Pot
On top of a Tokyo building in the (either late 20th or early 21st century), a little girl runs up to another girl and gives her a beef pot.
Girl Who Receives Beef Pot: Wow… I've never been given food before. I promise that I will return with nummy munchies and crunchies for you too.
Other Girl: *starts crying*
Girl Who Receives Beef Pot: Don't cry so much! I'll be back soon so…
Voice: … forget me not…
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*present day*
Kaoru: Huh?
Kenshin: The meaning of this type of Soba is 'forget me not.'
Kaoru: "Forget me nots," they look nummy.
Kenshin: "Forget me nots" also stand for true love in the language of food!
Kaoru: Kenshin! Does that mean that you love me?!
Kenshin: Nope. Just stating the facts.
*behind food rack*
Gensai: Why did I have to play Chibi Moon?! I'm older than all of ya young rascals put together!
Sanosuke: *huddled in corner* We're trapped in the future… This is bad, I tell you, BAD!!!
Aoshi: ……………
Saito: Okay, what the hell did he just say?
Sanosuke: He's pissed cuz' I stole his line. *to Aoshi* LIKE YOU COULD SAY IT ANYWAY??!!!!!
Aoshi: ……
Sanosuke: What did you just say about my momma??!!
Aoshi: *flips him off*
Sojiro: *giggle* You really shouldn't be aggravating him so much Mr. Shinomori.
Sanosuke: Why you little!! I can't believe you're siding with him!!!
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Moron.
Sanosuke: GGGAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! *attacks Saito*
*food rack rattles*
Kaoru: Fine then! I see how it is! *walks off*
Kenshin: I have a feeling I'll be sleeping out in the shed tonight, that I do.
Sano: *sticks gummy worm in front of him*
Kenshin: Oh…that looks nummy.
Sano: You're supposed to scream!
Saito: Moron.
Kenshin: Wait, where'd Kaoru go?
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*outside*
Kaoru: I can't believe Kenshin! That JERK!
*sky starts raining beef stew*
Sano: *running around like a moron* Free food! FREE FOOD!
Aoshi: ………
Sano: Don't talk about my daddy like that!
*girl appears*
Girl: Heya girlfriend! It's been a while!
Kaoru: Who are you?
Girl: I know it's been a while but I've finally found the perfect munchies worthy of our friendship. *takes Kaoru's hand*
Kenshin: *gasp* Lesbians!
Gensai, Saito, Sano, and Sojiro: YES!!!
Aoshi: !!!! *^___^*
Kenshin: *sweat drop* perverts.
Girl: Get out of the way you red haired weirdo! *whacks Kenshin*
Sanosuke and Gensai: *gasp* Kenshin!
Aoshi: ……..
Saito: *smokes*
Sojiro: *giggle*
Sanosuke: That was mean! You shouldn't push people!
Girl: No one will stop me from keeping my promise. No one! *disappears*
Kaoru: Misao…. Could it be?
Kenshin: Kaoru?
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*at Saito's office*
TV Broadcast: A large asteroid is heading closely towards earth's atmosphere but shouldn't cause any harm to the planet. It may be nice to look at it with a telescope. In other news, Shishio Makoto's bandages and Hiko Seijiro's sake jug are missing. I you know of the locations of either of these please call- *Saito turns off TV*
Sano: Hey! I was watching that!
Dr. Gensai: So maybe I took a few bandages. He can pay for more because he's so damn rich, right?
Kenshin: What I'd like to know is why Aoshi stole Hiko's sake jug considering he can't drink.
Saito: It was a dark night and he mistook it for apple cider. *to Aoshi* You feeling better pal?
Aoshi: *barfs*
Saito: …. And that was a new rug, too…
Sano: Hey, Suzume, what'cha doing on the computer?
Suzume: According to Number Munchers, that planet is hollow and has food energy.
Ayame: Suzume!!! You weren't paying attention and that red monster ate you up!
Suzume: Stupid icky poo-poo!!
Saito: What could be causing the food energy? *smokes*
Kenshin: I wonder what it is… *looking around* There so was something between Miss Kaoru and that girl!
Sano: Why, is that a bad thing?
Kenshin: Not only is it immoral but if that other girl takes my place then I'll be kicked onto the streets.
Sano: Hey, you'd have less chance of food poisoning. I know! You could move in with Saito!
Saito: NO! It's bad enough having you guys over here for a night alone. *looks over to see Aoshi spewing all over the sofa* All of my new furniture… *whimper*
Sano: Eew!!! Aoshi don't come over here!!!
Sojiro: I don't feel to well myself…
Saito: KEEP AWAY FROM MY TV SET!!
Kenshin: *dreamily* Miss Kaoru…
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*in Miss Kaoru's dojo*
Kenshin: So your parents died and you've been left here all alone?
Kaoru: yes.
Kenshin: This means you're going to be very clingy towards me during the whole RK series huh?
Kaoru: Yep!
Kenshin: Shit.
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*next morning walking to school*
Kenshin: *yawn* I'm so tired, that I am!
Saito: *sullen* My house… is covered with Aoshi puke…
Aoshi: *glare at Saito* ……………..
Saito: The hell?
Sojiro: Mr. Sagara, could you translate for us please?
Sano: Huh? Oh yah. He says that it wasn't his fault considering Saito told him it was apple cider.
Saito: It was dark outside, okay!
Gensai: Thanks for packing my meds Sojiro!
Sojiro: Don't mention it….. What's the matter Saito?
Saito: I feel it, there's a strange aura close by!
Sailor Scouts: *run over to where Saito is leading them*
Gensai: *falls over* Wait! Don't leave me! Oh poop…
*Sailor Scouts see bodies of people scattered about*
Sano: Who could have done this? *sits close to corpse*
Corpse: *grabs Sano by leg*
Sano: Eek! You pervert! *kicks corpse*
Corpses: *come alive and start coming toward the gang*
Aoshi: …………..
Sano: He says that a food source is controlling these people!
Saito: *takes out stickers* Evil Spirits Begone! *chucks stickers at corpses but nothing happens* Hmph. Stupid 99cent store… *gatotsu's all the corpses*
Corpses: *faint*
Sojiro: Wait, what's that over there?
Kenshin: *looks over to base of a tree* A bagel!
Bagel: *grows legs and comes toward Gensai*
Gensai: Oh crap!
Kenshin: *pushes Gensai out of the way and both go through store window*
Bagel: *transforms into a person/ bagel with legs that strongly resembles Katsu*
Sano: *gasp* A person bagel with legs that strongly resembles Katsu!
Saito: *smokes cigarette* Moron.
Katsu Bagel: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! *snatches Saito and Aoshi and starts draining there energy*
Saito: It's draining our energy!
Aoshi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sano: Don't worry buddy! I'll save you! *takes out transformation pen* Sano Star Power… MAKE UP!! *transforms into Sailor Sano (in a purtty orange!)*
Sojiro: Sojiro Star Power… MAKE UP!! *transforms into Sailor Sojiro (in snazzy green)*
Sano: Sano Love Me Chain! *hits Katsu Bagel*
Sojiro: Supreme Thunder! *electrocutes Katsu Bagel*
Katsu Bagel: Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Saito: Saito Star Power! *nothing happens* What the hell?
Sano: Um… you're a dubby, huh?
Saito: Sorry if I don't like reading for every frame! Saito Star Power… MAKE UP!! *transforms into Sailor Saito (rockin in red)*
Aoshi: *sweat drop* …………………
Sano: Humiliating for you?! I'm wearing a skirt to ya know! Even Saito is! *looks over at Saito* Wait a second!
Megumi: *in Sailor Mars uniform* How'd I get here?
Saito: *in normal police uniform* What's wrong with you moron?
Aoshi: ……………………….!!!!!!!
Sano: I didn't get a stunt double either so quit whining!
Sojiro: These skirts are awfully short…
Mr. Miagi: All the characters are to be equal! *Megumi disappears and Saito's in Mars' garb*
Saito: *mumbling to self* Stupid author trying to play God.
Aoshi: ………….
Saito: You could transform any time, barf boy.
Aoshi: …………………….
Sano: What do you mean you can't?! Just speak already!
Aoshi: *death glares Sano*
Sano: Garrgh! *grabs Aoshi's hand with transformation pen* Aoshi Star Power MAKE UP!!
Aoshi: *transforms into Sailor Aoshi (in a suave blue)*
Saito: Fire Mandala!! *shoots fire at Katsu Bagel*
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*in store that Kenshin and Gensai busted into*
Kenshin: I think he's dead… oh well. That's the end of Chibi Moon! Ken Crystal Power MAKE UP!! *does all of the twirly whirly junk and transforms into Sailor Ken*
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*back with the Katsu Bagel*
Katsu Bagel: Hahahahahahahahaha! *shoots out cream cheese vines and grabs sailor scouts with them*
*a shining, swirly tiara comes and cuts through cream cheese*
Katsu Bagel: Hmm?
Kenshin: I will not let evil be done when the one doing it is dressed as elegantly as a… erm… bagel! Guys, your lives may be short so find beer! In the name of the moon, dressed in a sailor suit, I am Sailor Kenshin! I will triumph over evil and that means you!
Ayame: Uncle Kenny!!!
Kenshin: I know, that's me!
Katsu Bagel: *pissed* AAAARRGH!!! *shoots cream cheese vine at Kenshin*
Aoshi: ………….!!!!!!!!!!!!! *freezes Katsu Bagel*
Sano: Kenshin! Use the scepter!
Kenshin: *takes out scepter and does more twirly whirly crap* Kenshin Rurouni Halation! *kills Katsu Bagel*
*tons of pink smoke comes onto the set*
Misao: I screwed up. I didn't think that there were such powerful beings on your planet. Well, besides my Aoshi-sama!
Sano: Aren't you supposed to be queer during this?
Misao: Oh poop…
Kenshin: So you're behind this?!
Misao: Uh huh. But as you all know, no one works alone.
Sojiro and Sano: *gasp*
Misao: *transforms (basically Misao with elf ears)*
Saito: That on her chest!
Suzume: The Cho Burger!!!
Cho Burger: I like this planet's energy. Almost as much as I do hacking up lil' babies!
Kenshin: Cho, you should throw away your hateful ways and become a peace loving critter!
Misao: I just realized, didn't you just kill that Katsu Bagel?
Kenshin: Ah shit. *transforms into Batousai (WITH sailor suit ^___^)*
Sojiro: Is it just me, or is Kenshin now extremely sexy?
Aoshi: *nod*
Sano: I don't know why, but all of a sudden I've gotten an extremely large bulge in my skirt.
Aoshi: *big nod*
Cho: Okay, Misao, kill them for me will ya? I would an' all but I kinda lack legs at the moment and have a hamburger for a body. Also, I'm worried that rooster head might try to eat me or something.
Sano: Shut up broom head! Although… *looks at Cho in deep consideration* the thought is quite… tempting… *drool*
Aoshi: ………………
Sano: Yah, you're right, if I do gain any weight, I'll be popping out of this suit.
Misao: Prepare to die! *blasts Aoshi and Sano into lingerie shop*
Saito: That's so not fair! Why don't I get that kick ass crap?
Misao: Because I'm special! *blasts him into garage door*
Saito: I don't even get to be blasted into Victoria Secrets?!
Misao: Fine. *blasts Saito into Victoria Secrets*
Saito: *in Victoria Secrets* Edible underwear… I should get my wife a few pairs of these…
Sojiro: Hahahaha. I guess it's my turn now! *skips over and attempts to slap Misao but misses*
Misao: *blasts Sojiro into telephone booth*
Kenshin: Sojiro!
Sano: *from lingerie shop* Yah, I get blasted into a panties shop and your worrying about Sojiro!
Aoshi: …………….
Sano: You're right! The cherry pattern bras do stand out more than the star patterned ones. What do ya think about those ones with the peaches?
Cho Burger: Now that's just disturbin.
Misao: *shoots out claws* Kenshin, you're next!
Kenshin: You are mistaken. Those are my words!
Misao: But I thought you're words were 'oroooooo'.
Kenshin: Shut up!
Misao: You don't have to be all sour about it! *shoots claws at Kenshin and misses* What? *looks down to see a beef pot*
Kamiya Mask: Leave my Kenshin alone!
Misao: A beef pot… Kaoru!
Kenshin: Shit.
Misao: You remembered the promise we made all those years ago!
Kamiya Mask: You're heart was pure back then!
Misao: You mean that you would rather be with this peace loving critterish cross dresser who looks like a girl in his own damn series?!
Kamiya Mask: DON'T MAKE FUN OF KEN-CHAN!!!
Misao: *draws out sword and lunges toward Kenshin* This fag has you bamboozled, Kaoru!
Kamiya Mask: *blocks attack with cane* Stop trying to hurt him!
Misao: Why?
Kamiya Mask: Because he has a messed up enough face already!
Misao: Good point. I'll aim for his chest then! *shoots claws at Kenshin*
Kamiya Mask: *takes blow for Kenshin*
Kenshin: Miss Kaoru!
Misao: Kaoru, you think so highly of this homo… *takes Kaoru into arms and flies off*
Kenshin: Give her back! GIVE HER BACK!!! *shrugs* Oh well, I tried. I guess that's the end of the series.
Sano: *carrying a bag full of lingerie* What are you talkin about? There's still a part two!
Kenshin: Crap.
Aoshi: ……!!!!!!!!!!
Sano: No! I want the sea shell bikini! You can have the one with the kiss mark pattern!
Aoshi: *whacks Sano and takes his bag with lingerie* ^_^ *runs*
Sano: Give it back! GIVE IT BACK!!!! *falls to knees* Noooo!!! *sobs*
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Please now go to Part 2 of Sailor Kenshin R: Promise of the Beef Pot